Can't Find My Way Home
by SunReyes
Summary: Martin waits for Samantha after her conversation with the bureau therapist JS COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

Title: Can't Find My Way Home  
  
Author: SunReyes sunreyes01@yahoo.com  
  
Spoilers: Moving On  
  
Summary: Martin waits for Samantha after her conversation with the bureau therapist--story takes place during winter hiatus  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: M/S, J/S  
  
Authors Notes: I don't own the characters, show, actors, network, or any of its affiliations. Special thanks to the gang at Maple Street, I don't think I'd come this far without you all.  
  
******  
  
I wipe my eyes and let out a few shaky breaths as Lisa hands me a box of Kleenex.  
  
"Sometimes it gets harder before it gets any easier" she offers the words to me as I crunch a tissue in my hands.  
  
"I just." I pause, letting out a shaky breath, "I hate this time of year."  
  
"A lot of people do" Lisa answers softly, "you want to tell me why?"  
  
I glance up at her and feel more tears wanting to fall. I glance away and towards the picture behind her, focusing on something else as I tell her what I'm thinking, without saying anything that I fear might cause more trouble.  
  
"Everyone's so happy" I whisper out. "People seem fake around Christmas. They buy presents and give gifts but it doesn't make things easier."  
  
"No it doesn't. We've never talked about your family Samantha. Is that how Christmas was when you were growing up?"  
  
"No" I answer, staring down at the tissue that I've crumbled in my hands. I deflect the question, not wanting to tell her about my upbringing and the pain I endured as a child. "I just feel lonely during this time of year." I spit out. "Last year was a little different. One of my other colleagues, Danny and I got together. It gave me something to look forward to."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"He's busy. He made plans to attend some party. He invited me to go with him but I'd feel like I was tagging along."  
  
"Did you tell him that?"  
  
I let out a soft sigh, "no" I shake my head. "He'd tell me I'm no imposition. I can see the conversation in my mind and he'd convince me to go."  
  
"Is that what you want Samantha? Him coming after you and convincing you to join him?"  
  
"Not him so much as." I trail off, my mind immediately thinking of Jack. "No" I shake my head, finishing that thought and stopping. "It's starting to snow" I point out the obvious. "It's been almost an hour and I should be getting home before it gets any worse."  
  
"Alright" Lisa nods and pulls out her appointment book. "I have you down for Tuesday at 7, does that still work for you?"  
  
"Yeah" I nod, standing up and tossing the crumbled tissue into the garbage.  
  
"Samantha" I glance up to meet her eyes, "take it easy. This time of year is hard for a lot of people. Treat yourself special, and make sure you find some time to relax between all the casework."  
  
"Yeah" I whisper out, "thanks." I slip out of her office and shut the door with a sigh. I head down the hall and towards our office area to retrieve my coat.  
  
"Sam" I hear Martin's voice and turn around to see him finishing a report. "What are you still doing here?" He questions.  
  
"I could ask you the same" I pause, realizing I'm being slightly rude and let out a sigh, "just got done with Lisa."  
  
"How's that going." I shrug in response, not wanting to divulge about my loveless and lonely life. "That good" he muses.  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"Jack wants this in first thing tomorrow" he rolls his eyes as I take a seat on the edge of his desk. "You want to get out of here?"  
  
"What'd you have in mind?" I question.  
  
"Takeout, we could grab it and head over to my place" Martin offers. "Unless you'd rather go out to eat. I'm just thinking it'll be crowded right now and it is snowing." he rambles on as I interrupt him.  
  
"Takeout sounds good. Why don't we head to my apartment though, it's closer" I suggest. "Besides I don't feel exactly in the mood to drive home afterwards. I'm ready to curl up on my sofa and fall asleep."  
  
"It's not even eight yet" Martin eyes me thoughtfully, "are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah of course" I quickly respond. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Just making sure. You haven't seemed yourself lately."  
  
"There's just been a lot on my mind. I'm glad the case is finally over." I breathe out and stand up, wanting this conversation to be over. "Come on" I eye him and the door. "If you take any longer you're buying" I point out. 


	2. Chapter 2

"You seem really distant lately" Martin eyes me as we take a seat in his car.  
  
"Distant, disappointed, same thing" I quip, fastening my seatbelt and glancing out the window.  
  
"What are you disappointed about? We found Lianna and saved her. We've had cases that have ended a million times worse."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then why are you so upset?"  
  
"Can we just drop it?" I eye him seriously.  
  
"Ok" he answers, pulling out of the parking garage. "You'll have to give me directions to your place." He eyes me.  
  
"Make a right" I tell him, taking him around the federal building and to my apartment. We pull up in front and he eyes me with a quiet look.  
  
"If you want to be alone" he offers the words and I glance up at him and see reluctant written all over his features.  
  
"Maybe I should" I solemnly state, feeling my heart being crushed once again as I open the door handle and step outside. I shut the door behind me and walk up into my building without ever glancing back. I can't glance back, I won't. I feel tears meeting my eyes and realize I've only added one more mistake to the mess I already call my life. I shut Martin out, and as much as I may not love him, I need someone to cling on to right now.  
  
I bang my hand against the door, feeling tears pour their way down my eyes as I feel myself falling. I find my key, sliding it into the door but not having the energy to turn it. I can't go home alone, not again. I've been alone far too long and every night it eats away at me.  
  
I feel a hand on my shoulder and immediately move my hand to my face to wipe my runny mascara. "Samantha" I hear Martin's voice in my ear and watch as his other hand moves to turn the key and open the door for me.  
  
"You don't have to" I tell him, feeling completely vulnerable and so alone in a world of so many faces.  
  
"I want to" he offers the words, shutting the door behind him as he steps inside. "You look broken" he states the obvious and I let out a sigh and a shrug.  
  
I move towards the sofa, burying myself in the cushions as I watch Martin take a seat across from me, on the edge of the coffee table. "Christmas is next week" he points out.  
  
"Don't remind me" I let out a sigh and avert my gaze to anywhere but him. He watches me, my features, my face and moves his hand to wipe the pain away.  
  
"You want to spend it together?"  
  
"I don't know Martin." I wipe my eyes and want to bury my head in my hands. I can't though. I cover my face partially with my hand and let out a sigh.  
  
"Come on Samantha, it'll be fun."  
  
"What part of the lonely holiday will I enjoy more? Remembering I don't have any family to share it with, or remembering everyone I care about forgot me."  
  
"I care about you and I haven't forgotten you. We're friends" he reminds me, moving his hands over mine, pulling it down from my face. "I know I'm probably not the person you want to spend Christmas with, but it's better then being alone, right?"  
  
"I guess so" I whisper out with a sigh.  
  
"Don't sound so disappointed," he eyes me seriously. "Besides who's forgotten about you?"  
  
I glance out the window and watch the snow falling from the sky. I don't answer Martin's question. Instead I let out a soft breath and move to stand up. "Where are we ordering from?"  
  
Martin takes his hands in mine when I rise from the sofa. "Samantha" his voice is soft and holding concern.  
  
"I'm fine, really" I reassure him. "Just hungry. What are you in the mood for?"  
  
"Anything that delivers." He answers with a smile. "The snow's piling up and I'd rather not go out, unless it's time for me to head home."  
  
"Sounds good" I nod, glancing down at his hands over mine, and he releases his grip. I head into the kitchen, grabbing the number from the fridge. "What do you want to eat?"  
  
"Whatever you're having." A few minutes later the order is placed and I head back on over towards the sofa to sit down. Martin takes a seat beside me glancing towards me with a smile. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Whatever you're having." A few minutes later the order is placed and I head back on over towards the sofa to sit down. Martin takes a seat beside me glancing towards me with a smile.  
  
*******  
  
"What?" I eye him curiously, feeling a tiny smile tugging at the corners of my lips.  
  
"I just want you to know, if there's ever anything you want to talk about. You know I'm here for you."  
  
"Thanks Martin" I pat his leg gently with a nod. "I appreciate it." I answer, grabbing for the remote. "You want to see what's on?"  
  
"Hard to do if you're changing the channels."  
  
"Don't think you're getting my remote," I warn him.  
  
"Say's who?" His eyes widen in mischief as he reaches across me to grab at the device which is resting between my fingers and the arm rest of the couch. I feel his body leaning against mine and I shift my left arm pulling it as far away from Martin as possible.  
  
"You're not getting it" I answer between laughs as I feel his body shifting above mine and I fall beneath his. His eyes are on the remote as our mine, as we ignore the compromising position we're both in. I use both my arms to grip the remote and hold it far above my head. Martin's managed to lie above my frame as his hands tug at mine for the remote.  
  
"Oh yes I am" he laughs as I feel the weight of his body settling against mine. It feels incredibly intimate and I try to push that thought to the back of my mind as I continue to hold onto the remote as best I can.  
  
I feel Martin's hands forcefully push against mine, making me drop the remote to the ground.  
  
"You didn't" I gasp out with wide eyes, giving him an evil look.  
  
"What are you going to do about it?" He questions then glances down between our bodies that are intertwined. "Tell me you don't have your gun on you?"  
  
I can't help but laugh as I shake my head. "Be glad," I warn him with a smile. His eyes shine down at me, as I let my arms rest above my head, holding comfortably against the armrest of the sofa. I feel Martin's fingers drifting against mine and then move into my hair.  
  
I let out a soft puff of air, slightly aroused by the sensation and from the physical proximity to a man. It's been too long since I allowed myself the pleasure of becoming close and within moments I watch as Martin's mouth descends onto my own.  
  
His breath is warm and sweet, but not at all like Jack's. I can't get Jack's face out of my mind and I feel my stomach plummet from the thought. "Martin" I whisper out, slowly pushing him off and away from me.  
  
"I'm sorry" he immediately responds, his voice deep and throaty, a tone I've never heard him use before.  
  
"No it's my fault" I answer shaking my head. I hear the doorbell and immediately run over to answer it, offering to pay the bill as quickly as the delivery guy came.  
  
"I told you I'd pay" Martin eyes me as I carry the bag of Chinese food into the kitchen.  
  
"You can cook for Christmas" I offer.  
  
"Cook?" He eyes me seriously. "You mean we can't order pizza?"  
  
"No way" I laugh in response, feeling a little more at ease and dismissing the situation that occurred just a moment before.  
  
"So if I cook, then you'll come to my place?" He grins at the thought.  
  
"Hmmm" I let out a sigh, "on second thought you can bring dinner. Or better yet use my stove."  
  
"Trying to train me already?" He teases.  
  
I shrug in response, holding a tight-lipped smile on my face.  
  
We finish dinner and head back on over towards the sofa to sit down. I rest against the arm of the sofa, letting Martin choose where to sit, and how close or far a distance. I know how he feels about me. I realize he wants to take this to the next level, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet. I'm not sure I'm over Jack.  
  
I'm not sure I'll ever be over him.  
  
"You look sad" Martin states eyeing me. He sits beside me, our legs brushing as the sofa dips down.  
  
"Just thinking" I answer.  
  
"What about?"  
  
"What you're going to get me for Christmas" I blurt out with a laugh.  
  
"And that makes you sad?" He eyes me, not believing a word of it.  
  
"Of course. That means I have to find something you'll like."  
  
"Who said anything about exchanging gifts?" He quips.  
  
"If were spending Christmas together, it sounds to me like a date. I've never had a date on Christmas that didn't involve gift giving."  
  
"Well maybe this Christmas will be different" he teases with a warm smile.  
  
"Maybe" I muse.  
  
"Listen I hate to cut the evening short but I should go" I glance out the window to see the snow piling up. "If I don't leave now, I don't know that I'll ever make it home tonight." He tells me.  
  
I let out a breath, debating what to do. Do I invite him to stay the night? After all it would be safer, but in another sense it would be dangerous and risqué. We work together and that's crossing a line I'm not prepared to journey just yet. Well not again anyway.  
  
"Yeah" the words escape my lips but they sound sad. "I'll see you tomorrow at the office then" I remind him, hoping to give myself something to look forward to. I don't feel it though, at least not the same rush I had when I was with Jack. Jack was always different though. He wasn't someone I could have, even if I wanted him. He was never mine, and maybe that's what hurts the most.  
  
"Thanks for dinner" he tells me with a smile as he escorts himself to the door.  
  
"Yeah thanks for coming up here and for driving me home."  
  
"See you tomorrow" Martin nods towards me as he slips out the door.  
  
I let out a sigh, standing up to lock my door and heading into the bedroom to get changed. 


	4. Chapter 4

It's nearly been a week since the kiss on the sofa, and the one other night I decided to see Martin for drinks, we went straight to the bar.  
  
I didn't even offer my place, for fear of what it might lead to. I've never been afraid of anything in my life, least of all this. For some reason though, everything seems different since the shooting. I feel as though I get to reevaluate my life and there's things I want that I know I couldn't have before. These things scare me because they lead to a real commitment; not being married for four months.  
  
I shake the notion and glance down at my watch. It's Christmas Eve and I'm supposed to be meeting Martin at my place in twenty minutes. I'm drowning in paperwork, and worst of all even if I left now, I doubt I'd be home in time to greet him.  
  
I stand up, shuffling the files and paperwork together in the dark office. I grab for my coat and glance back to see Jack sitting at his desk with the light on. I let out a sigh, making my way over to wish him a goodnight before heading out.  
  
"I'm heading out" I state, stepping into his office. He removes his glasses and looks up from the file.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"It's Christmas Eve Jack" I remind him.  
  
"So it is" he breathes out, staring up at me. "You doing ok?" He questions with concern evident in his voice.  
  
"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"The holidays and all. I remember last year you said."  
  
"I'm fine but thanks for asking" I quip rather quickly.  
  
"Are you?" He eyes me seriously. "Every time I see you I keep thinking back to what you told me."  
  
"You don't have to sit here and worry about me" I remind him. "You should go home and be with your daughters."  
  
He stands up moving towards me. I assume he's going for his jacket but he stops a mere distance from my lips. His proximity scares me because it's what I've craved for so long. "You've changed" he whispers with his breath a touch away from my lips. He's teasing me, although I'm not sure how intentional it is.  
  
I eye him peculiarly. "What?" I question.  
  
"You're shampoo, your soap" he adds, taking in a breath and drinking in my scent. "You're moving on, or trying to."  
  
My eyes stare straight into his, knowing he's right but not wanting to admit it. "I don't know what you're getting at?"  
  
"You use to always wear black, and now you have a completely new wardrobe."  
  
"Since when do you pay attention to what I wear?" I eye him as his gaze settles at a distance. I let out a soft cough, drawing his attention back towards me. "Jack?" I question.  
  
"I'm just stating my observations."  
  
"What does this have to do with anything?"  
  
"I've been worried about you. So has everyone else." He eyes me seriously. "You seem so distant lately and I feel like in part it's my fault."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, shaking my head no. I can't deal with this conversation right now, not again.  
  
"I want you to know that you can come to me Sam, about anything."  
  
"Yeah well some things I can't" I laugh softly, trying to break the tension between us.  
  
"Why not" the question looms in the air, making my stomachache.  
  
I know I can't have him. I know we shouldn't even be having this conversation because it will just remind me how lonely I truly am. The one thing I want to tell him, how much I still love him, haunts me.  
  
"Jack" I interrupt him, "it's Christmas Eve shouldn't you be getting home to your family."  
  
He lets out a loud breath and looks slightly irritated. I'm not sure if it's at me or the fact I mentioned his family. He knows that's why we broke it off. He wanted a second chance. Besides aren't I entitled to the same?  
  
My life was nearly stolen from me and he shut me out. He can't expect for things to be back to the way they were. Not yet anyway. Maybe this was the wakeup call that I've needed for so long. I've been too stupid to realize I may love him but I can't have him and dreaming and wishing for it won't make anything happen.  
  
Truth is I have to move on. If I don't I'll be trapped in this lonely existence of what I call my life with no way out. I glance down at my vibrating phone with the text message, 'sorry late, be there by 7. I'll bring food.'  
  
"Yeah you're right" he acknowledges me glancing down towards my phone. "You ok?"  
  
I look up at him and nod. "Yeah my date's just running late" I laugh softly.  
  
"Who's the guy? Maybe I should meet him to see if I approve" I roll my eyes at Jack's words.  
  
"No one you know" I lie.  
  
"No Christmas Eve with Danny this year?" He eyes me thoughtfully as he grabs his coat and pulls it over his arms.  
  
"No he's at a Christmas party with a date. Seems we're moving on past our own traditions. It's good" I reaffirm, reminding myself this is what I need.  
  
"Is it?" Jack holds my gaze before I glance away.  
  
"I should go and you need to get home" I point out, stepping from his office and heading towards my cubicle to grab my own coat.  
  
"I'll walk you out" he offers.  
  
"You don't have to."  
  
"I know" Jack nods, following me over and giving me a hand with my jacket.  
  
"Thanks" I offer the words and a soft smile as I slip the coat on and follow Jack through the hallway.  
  
"I know it's not much to offer" Jack eyes me thoughtfully, "but I'm glad you're moving on."  
  
"Yeah well" I shrug, "you have to eventually" I respond dumbly.  
  
"I just hope whoever it is treats you good. You deserve so much better then what I could ever offer you."  
  
"Jack" I whisper out, closing my eyes as we step inside the elevator. I don't want to feel this way towards him anymore. I can't control it though, truth is I love him and I fear I always will. I feel his hand on my arm and I glance in his direction.  
  
"Promise me we'll stay close though" he tells me. "I know I can't be in your life but I want to remain friends."  
  
"When does that ever work out?" I eye him with a laugh.  
  
"I'm serious Sam. You still mean the world to me and even if I can't have you, I'd rather have you as a friend then nothing at all."  
  
I let out a soft laugh. "You make it sound like I broke up with you." I give him a glance before stepping foot in my car. "Have a Merry Christmas" I answer, before leaving Jack and my heart along with him. 


	5. Chapter 5

I head on down to my apartment, just in time to see Martin pulling up alongside me.  
  
"Hey what are you doing just getting home?" His voice holds concern and also curiosity.  
  
"Working late" I answer.  
  
"You should have come with me on the investigation. At least then you'd have been done on time."  
  
"You call this on time?" I eye my watch. "Come inside" I tell him, making my way up the stairs and into my home.  
  
"I brought you something" he hands me a small box, slightly heavy with a smile. "I hope you like it because it's not refundable."  
  
"Oh jeez what did you buy me?" I eye him curiously.  
  
"You'll have to wait till after dinner" he grins, "or better yet until morning."  
  
"No way" I shake my head, "the minute you leave I'm opening it."  
  
"You think that's the case? What if I stay the night?" He teases, "it better not be open in the morning. Or what if I come by to spend Christmas day with you?"  
  
"Don't you have family to see?" I offer the words.  
  
He shrugs them off and hands me the bag of food. "I brought takeout. I was hoping to see you tomorrow night too" he eyes me, "unless you're getting sick of me."  
  
"No" I shake my head. "You're not seeing your family?" I question again.  
  
"You're not seeing yours?" He eyes me and I shut up.  
  
"So you'll cook for me then tomorrow?" I quip.  
  
"That's the plan. I'm too drained tonight to do it."  
  
"To bad" I grin mischievously, "I was so looking forward to it" I state suggestively.  
  
We head into the kitchen, dishing out dinner and taking a seat across from each other to eat.  
  
"I got you something too" I tell him, taking a bite of my dinner.  
  
"You did?" His eyes perk up.  
  
"Yeah but you can't open it until after I've opened mine" I grin.  
  
"Oh you're the devil."  
  
"I know" I answer.  
  
We finish dinner and I gesture for him to follow me into my bedroom. "The first date and already."  
  
"Oh hush" I roll my eyes, "I'm getting your present for you. I could make you wait outside."  
  
"But?" I shrug, inwardly smiling at showing off my bedroom to him. "You are such a tease!" He announces as I hand him the box from my closet.  
  
"Says who?" I eye him suspiciously.  
  
"I'm just stating what I'm seeing. Bringing your gorgeous first date into your bedroom and handing him a gift with that seductive look in your eyes."  
  
"Gorgeous?" I quip with a laugh. "Don't push it" I tease, running my hand through his hair before stepping out the room and down the hall. "I got you two gifts actually. The other's in the kitchen."  
  
He eyes me skeptically until I pull out a fancy bottle of wine. "I'm not normally one to drink wine but I figured the occasion calls for it."  
  
"You're not one to drink?" He eyes me with a skeptical look on his face.  
  
"Wine" I repeat. "I drink beer and harder liquor when the mood calls."  
  
"So wine's too girly for you?"  
  
"Yeah something like that" I laugh.  
  
I pop the cork and pour two glasses. "Here's to us" Martin states.  
  
"To us" I repeat rather awkwardly, clanking our wineglasses together before sucking down the liquid. I eye the box I was handed from Martin. "Do I get to open it now?" I question with a smile.  
  
"As long as I'm seeing you tomorrow. I think we should wait."  
  
"Awww" I whine out, "you're no fun!"  
  
"Sure I am" he whispers into my ear in that low seductive tone he used the night after our first kiss and only kiss together.  
  
I can't help but giggle as I down another glass of wine.  
  
"I think you've had enough" Martin takes the bottle and the glasses, putting them in the sink.  
  
"I'm barely feeling it yet" I quip.  
  
"You will in the morning."  
  
"I'm not drunk Martin" I tell him with a smile.  
  
"You're not?" I notice he's barely had an entire glass to drink all night.  
  
"Why aren't you drinking your gift? You didn't like it?" I pout my lips, trying to make him give in.  
  
"No Samantha it's not that."  
  
"Then what is it?" I question, feeling my leg brush against his along the sofa.  
  
I watch as he gulps a breath of air in response and realize perhaps he's afraid of what it might lead to.  
  
I stand up, working on balancing myself and realizing maybe I did have a little more to drink then I thought. I immediately feel Martin's hand come around my hips to steady me.  
  
"I'm ok" I tell him with a smile, pulling on his hand and leading him towards my bedroom.  
  
His hand drops from mine as I reach the door and step through. He stands on the opposite side eyeing me with wide eyes.  
  
"I just want to lie down and talk" I lie back on the bed, leaving plenty of room for him to join me. "The sofa was getting uncomfortable and the floor is a killer."  
  
"But you're bed?" His voice sounds shaky almost nervous.  
  
"Just talking" I let out a laugh, "you can't handle being in my bed, is that it?"  
  
"I'm just thinking of the repercussions that could go along with it."  
  
"We're not having sex. Just talking" I remind Martin.  
  
"What if Jack found out?"  
  
I shrug in response, "do I care? He can't do anything to us, even if we did screw around."  
  
Martin loosens his tie and moves to sit beside me on the bed. He still seems tense and uptight and I lean towards him, grabbing onto his frame as I force him to fall flesh on the mattress.  
  
"Was that so bad?" I quip, loosening my grip so we're lying side by side but no physical contact is being made.  
  
He eyes me in complete silence and I wonder if I've stumped him or scared him or even aroused him.  
  
I let out a sigh, feeling a slight headache coming on and shut my eyes.  
  
He must notice my sudden quietness or change in mood because I feel his hand on my shoulder, "are you ok?"  
  
"My head" I whisper out. "Sometimes I get these killer migraines and alcohol doesn't help."  
  
I feel Martin's fingers move into my hair as I scrunch my face in pain. "Shhh" he soothes me, softly running his fingers along my scalp. "My sister is learning massage therapy" Martin tells me. "I don't know a whole lot but she was teaching me a little bit." I feel his hands running along my skin and I let out an exhaustive breath, feeling myself growing tired.  
  
The bed shifts around as I feel Martin moving closer to touch me. His fingers continue to relax me as I feel myself drifting off to sleep.  
  
I feel the bed shifting and Martin pulling the covers up over my body. "I'm going to head out" he whispers into the air.  
  
"Don't go" I breathe out with shut eyes.  
  
"It's late" I hear his words as he struggles with what to do. I curl beneath the blankets and feel his lips pressing a soft kiss to my cheek as he brushes the hair past my face and slips out of the bedroom. 


	6. Chapter 6

"It's late" I hear his words as he struggles with what to do. I curl beneath the blankets and feel his lips pressing a soft kiss to my cheek as he brushes the hair past my face and slips out of the bedroom.  
  
*****  
  
As morning breaks, I roll around in my empty bed feeling lonely as ever. I let out a soft sigh, "sometimes I can be so stupid" I state glancing out towards the sunlight on Christmas morning.  
  
I let in another breath of air and smell something, coffee? I stand up, glancing down at my wrinkled work attire and grab a scrunchie to pull my hair back with.  
  
I head out of my bedroom, seeing Martin in the kitchen reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.  
  
"Your awake" he smiles towards me, folding the paper.  
  
"Your still here" I state dumbly.  
  
"Merry Christmas to you too."  
  
"Sorry" I laugh and shake my head. "Merry Christmas." I answer politely and then get right back to my question, "You didn't go home?" I question.  
  
"You asked me to stay last night and I was worried after how you've been lately with the holidays and all so I thought it would be best if I slept on the couch in case you woke up during the night." he rambles on.  
  
"Thanks" I respond, feeling a smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I squeeze his hand to calm his nerves.  
  
"I made coffee" he stands up, offering me a cup. "I was going to make breakfast but I wanted to wait a little longer so I wouldn't have to wake you."  
  
"You're so sweet" I smile, feeling at ease with Martin and better than I have in a really long time. I still don't feel on that ultimate high that I got from Jack but it's a start. Maybe things will change into that one- day.  
  
"How's your head feeling?"  
  
"Remarkably well" I smile warmly towards him. "That's a rarity."  
  
"Well I'm glad you're doing better" he stands up. "I was going to make pancakes, does that work for you?"  
  
"Sounds good" I answer, moving closer and pressing a soft chaste kiss on his lips. He looks startled but doesn't seem to move. "Merry Christmas" I remind him, pulling back and grabbing for the pan and the mix.  
  
He stands there eyeing me.  
  
"What?" I question, "that was your Christmas gift from Santa." I laugh glancing out the window and grabbing a bowl to mix the ingredients.  
  
"Santa?" He repeats with a tinge of amusement in his voice. "I thought it came from Samantha which would have been much more enjoyable. Who wants to kiss a bearded old man?" I laugh and shake my head. I feel Martin's body slowly coming up behind me. I glance back to see his hands moving over mine to stir the ingredients. "Let me" he offers.  
  
"I can handle it" I remind him.  
  
"I know but who else is going to learn how to make you breakfast in bed?"  
  
"Oh Martin" I shake my head with a laugh and slip out from under his arms. "You want help with something else then?"  
  
"Go take your shower. By the time your finished breakfast will be ready and then maybe I'll let you open your gift."  
  
"Awww" I whine feeling slightly cheated at having to wait any longer. I head into my bathroom, turning the fan on and then running the shower. I let out a soft sigh, "what am I doing?" I question aloud, although only my own ears can hear the words, and just barely. "I don't love him" I remind myself, although the words are caught on me. Who don't I love? Jack or Martin? I shake my head, "I can't love Jack he's married" I remind myself. "Martin's here" I nod at my reflection, "and he's obviously interested." Why wouldn't he be?  
  
I finish up in the shower, grabbing my robe and securing it around my body. I head into my empty bedroom with the door slightly ajar. I glance around my wardrobe, trying to find something comfortable to slip into. I pull off my robe, grabbing a fresh change of clothes when I hear my cell phone buzzing.  
  
"Shit" I moan out, heading for the phone on my bedside table when I see my bedroom door open and Martin step inside.  
  
His eyes meet my naked form as the features on his face redden. "Sorry" he grimaces, turning his head away and shutting his eyes as he backs out of my bedroom as fast as he came in.  
  
I let out a soft sigh, curious as to why he was even coming in here in the first place and glance down at my cell phone that's stopped chirping. It has Jack's cell phone number displayed. I juggle the phone between my hands, deciding on whether I should call him back or not.  
  
I toss the device to my mattress, letting fate play a role. If Jack wants or needs me, he can call back. Otherwise Martin has my undivided attention, well mostly. I pull on my clothes and head out of the bedroom.  
  
"I'm so sorry" Martin reiterates as I step foot into the kitchen. "I shouldn't have come in without knocking."  
  
"No you shouldn't have." I answer.  
  
"I wanted to answer the phone for you, so you wouldn't be interrupted. The thought that you might not be decent didn't even cross my mind." His eyes are on the floor, looking sheepish as ever.  
  
"It's not like people haven't seen me naked before" I state, "just don't do it again" I eye him sternly. His gaze moves up to meet mine. He nods like a young boy, caught red-handed.  
  
I start in on breakfast and once I'm done I clear the dishes while Martin heads on over towards the sofa. "Thanks for making breakfast" I state, making my way over to sit down next to him.  
  
"Oh sure" he smiles, "anytime. So do you want to open your gift yet?"  
  
"Yes" I answer with a grin. "You've got me curious."  
  
He hands me the box that's been sitting there all night screaming to be opened. I tear at the finely wrapped paper, revealing some sort of exquisite perfume. "Thanks" I eye him with a smile, moving my arms around him to give him a hug. I open the box, smelling the sweet fragrance.  
  
"My sister went to France a few weeks ago. When she was there I asked her to get a box of it for you."  
  
"Wow" I feel dumbfounded. Why would he ask his sister for such a big favor? He starts opening the paper on his gift and I grab his hands. "You don't want this now" I tell him with wide-eyes.  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"No" I shake my head, "you don't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"My gift is horrible compared to yours" I take his hands in mine and grab the gift from him.  
  
"Hey you can't do that!"  
  
"I did," I warn him with a smile, playing keep away with his gift. My phone rings nosily and I place the fairly opened present on the table eyeing Martin not to touch it as I answer the call.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Merry Christmas Sam."  
  
"I'm sort of busy" I tell Jack rather bluntly.  
  
"I wouldn't have called if it wasn't important. We're being called in today."  
  
"You're joking" I whine out.  
  
"One of our own has gone missing."  
  
"Who?" I question.  
  
"Lisa Harris" I immediately know who Jack's talking about, my federally funded therapist. My jaw drops as I notice Martin staring at me.  
  
"Everything ok?" He whispers.  
  
"We meeting at the office or on the scene?" I question.  
  
"The office is the scene" he lets out a sigh. "I've called Vivian and Danny already. There's no answer from Martin."  
  
"I'll see what I can do" I offer, not giving in that he's over. I hang up and let out a sigh.  
  
"Who was that?" Martin questions.  
  
"Jack. Apparently Lisa Harris, the in house therapist disappeared sometime within the past 24 hours. Jack didn't give me all the details but this is our first priority."  
  
"So much for Christmas." Martin sighs.  
  
"Tell me about it." I let out a breath, "I should go get changed into work clothes."  
  
"I've got a spare outfit in the trunk" Martin tells me, "do you mind if I change in your bathroom?"  
  
"Not at all" I inwardly smile and wonder if maybe I should walk in on him, but quickly dismiss such childish behavior.  
  
We head into work together, hoping no one notices as we see everyone else already there. 


	7. Chapter 7

"Glad to see you could get a hold of Martin." Jack eyes me and then the rest of the team. "Lisa Harris, a single mom working for the bureau, disappeared sometime within the last fifteen hours. The babysitter called in her disappearance when she never came home." "What do we have so far?" Vivian questions. "Not much. We've got no enemies as far as her family is concerned. I want to take a different approach to this investigation. For all we know it could be someone she worked with before she came to the bureau."  
  
"Or someone on the inside," Danny chimes. I eye Danny with a glare, but not before Jack catches sight of it. "Martin, I want you and Vivian," Jack pauses for a moment. "No, I want Vivian and Danny to talk with the Harris family. See what they know or don't know for that matter. See if their daughter knows anything. She might only be four but maybe she saw someone suspicious around. Talk to any neighbors and see if they witnessed anything going on. For all we know, this woman could have run away from her problems."  
  
"A therapist?" Danny muses with a laugh. "Interesting theory, Jack."  
  
"Martin, I want you to review the footage of surveillance and see if we can get a time of when she left the office."  
  
Martin nods his head, clearly disappointed in the assignment but not challenging his role. "Samantha, you'll come with me to speak to Lisa's supervisor." I glance in the direction of Martin to see him grabbing his things and taking off down the hall. "Sam." I hear Jack's voice and am brought back to reality. I stand up, walking with Jack down to Lisa's superior, Kelly Roland. "Kelly Roland?" Jack knocks on her door, stepping inside and I follow behind him. "Yes." She looks up from her stack of paperwork with a sigh and a frustrated look.  
  
"We're here about Lisa's disappearance."  
  
"I figured as much. Come in, take a seat," she offers. We both do just that, as we start in on our series of questions. "When was the last time you saw Lisa?" Jack begins.  
  
"When I left last night. She was still here doing paperwork; it would have to be around 6."  
  
"That late, on Christmas Eve?" I question. "Paperwork doesn't do itself. Besides we have Christmas and the day after off. Well, we were supposed to. I came in when I heard about Lisa and thought maybe if I looked over the files, I'd find something relevant."  
  
"What are you looking for?" I inquire. "I'm not sure exactly. We discussed the cases and the clients but there aren't too many people I'd consider dangerous."  
  
"Who would you consider dangerous?" Jack questions.  
  
"I can't say for certain, I never worked with him. Lisa had trouble breaking down the barriers and he wasn't willing to come in. We can't force people to be here, not really," Kelly points out with a soft laugh, glancing towards me. I suddenly wonder if she knows my file and they discuss me? I feel slightly uncomfortable but brush off the feeling, knowing that our job is more important than anything right now. "Who, Mrs. Roland?" I question. "He was a former agent with the bureau--Jacob Meijer. Unfortunately, there were a series of events that transpired while out on the field. One thing led to another and he potentially lost his job. He didn't seem to care either way about coming to his appointments, so the bureau dropped him."  
  
"Just like that?" I meet Kelly's gaze. "We can't force people to work through their issues. We can only try to help those who want and need help." She offers the words with a soft, polite smile. "The impression I got of Jacob was that he could be dangerous to himself, but I couldn't say whether or not he would have done anything to Lisa."  
  
"Do you have a current address?" I question. "On file." Kelly sifts through the mounds of paperwork and pulls one out. "Here," she states, "I'm only giving this to you because we all work together. You know the files and the clients all must be kept confidential, so I can't hand anything else over."  
  
Jack glances towards me. "I'll look into this." I stand up, feeling slightly confused why Jack wants me out of the room, but also understanding he might be doing something that could potentially harm his career and he wouldn't want to ruin mine in the process. I step out of the room, heading down the hall. I see Martin coming towards me. "Absolutely nothing," he shakes his head with a sigh.  
  
"What?" I'm slightly confused as to what he's talking about.  
  
"The surveillance footage from the parking garage. She never left the building. In fact, it appears she never made it to the elevator or left the office after six."  
  
"You're joking?" Martin shakes his head. "Where's Jack?" "Back with Kelly. I'm going to check out a lead we have. Want to come?" "Always," Martin grins, heading with me out the doors and to his car. I take a seat, glancing down at the information we have in the file. "Any chance she left by the stairway?" "There's cameras in there too. Nothing" Martin shakes his head. "I don't know where she would have gone."   
  
"She disappeared" I whisper out, "literally."  
  
"It appears that way," he answers. "You think I should call Jack and let him know I'm with you?" "Give him a few minutes," I respond, glancing towards Martin. "Why are you playing by the rules all of a sudden?"  
  
"I didn't before?"  
  
"You did. Mostly," I answer. "What happened on the Reyes' case?"  
  
"Samantha, please don't," he eyes me with a steady gaze and then looks back out to the road.  
  
"Everyone makes mistakes," I remind him. "We're all human."  
  
"Maybe I should dial Jack. Let him know where I am." He pulls his phone out, hitting speed dial and waiting for Jack to answer. "There wasn't any footage from surveillance so I decided to go with Samantha to interrogate our suspect." He pauses, glancing towards me and then back to the road. "Yeah, just a second. Samantha." He hands me the phone. "Hello?" "I trust you, Sam." I hear Jack's voice.  
  
"I know," I answer and there's a pause of silence between us. "Jack, what's on your mind?" "Listen, just don't disappoint me."  
  
"We're going to see what we can find from Jacob Meijer," I remind him. "Did you get anything from Kelly?" "A few files off the record," he answers. "I can't share them with the rest of the team because they involve agents within the bureau and you know how there's rules against getting this information."  
  
"Am I in there?"   
  
"Would I do that?" Jack questions. "I don't know," I answer plainly. "That's why I'm asking you."  
  
"Sam, do me a favor and keep an eye on Martin. I want an update the minute you both get done."  
  
"Alright, will do." I hang up the phone and hand it back to Martin. "What was all that about?" "I'm not sure," I answer, glancing out the window as we pull in front of the Meijer residence. 


	8. Chapter 8

"Mr. Jacob Meijer," I call out, knocking loudly against the door. "We're with the FBI."  
  
"Hold your horses," I hear an older man's ragged voice as he approaches the door.  
  
"Are you Jacob Meijer?"  
  
"Who's asking?"  
  
"We're with the FBI. I'm Agent Spade and this is Agent Fitzgerald. We're here regarding the disappearance of Lisa Harris."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The therapist that works with the bureau. You met with her. May we come in?" He opens the door, allowing us into his home.  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "I didn't meet with her. That's why I'm unemployed."  
  
"Well you met with her at least once," Martin comments.  
  
"Twice," Jacob corrects us. "Nothing came of it. She couldn't help me; no one can."  
  
"Where were you last night around six?" I question.  
  
"At home."  
  
"Anyone with you?" Martin speaks up.  
  
"Just me." He takes a seat in his recliner. "Polygraph me if you need to. I'm not involved in her kidnapping."  
  
"We never said it was a kidnapping," Martin corrects him.  
  
"I'm assuming it is, and I'm figuring you have no leads. That's why you're here investigating me. I know how the bureau works. You point fingers when you don't know who it is."  
  
Martin glances in my direction and then back to our suspect. I scribble down a few notes and glance down at what I already have written. "Is there anything you can tell us about Lisa that might clue you in as to where she might have gone?"  
  
"Don't you know about therapy? I was the one who was supposed to share, not her."  
  
"Well you said you didn't share," I point out, "so I thought maybe she did."  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "I'd remember that. Besides, it doesn't work that way. Not that it matters much; they can't help me. They listen and think I'm crazy."  
  
"What for?" I question.  
  
"Shooting my partner." Martin and I both exchange glances before thanking Mr. Meijer for his time and heading back to the car.  
  
I dial Jack once we get inside. "Hey," I state, hearing his voice on the other end.  
  
"What's going on? Tell me you have something?"  
  
"Negative," I respond, "although you might have told us he shot his partner."  
  
"Details," Jack laughs softly. "I couldn't tell you what was stated in his sessions during therapy."  
  
"I'm guessing not much by the looks of things at his place. He doesn't look good but I don't think he's capable of kidnapping."  
  
"He could use the ransom," Martin interjects.  
  
Jack lets out a sigh, obviously having heard Martin's words. "Do you think he's innocent?"  
  
"In which? The killing or kidnapping?"  
  
"Kidnapping, Sam."  
  
"I don't think he did it. What motive would he have? Wouldn't he more likely go after his boss or the suspect's family he was investigating?"  
  
"True," he lets out another breath before adding, "but this makes him a likely candidate because we wouldn't suspect him and is that not how criminals think?"  
  
"Jack, I don't think it's him. If you want, we can do surveillance on his place, but I doubt it'll turn up much of anything."  
  
"No. I'll go with your gut instinct. Head on back to the office; hopefully by then Danny and Vivian will have checked in."  
  
"Alright, will do."  
  
"Oh yeah and Sam."  
  
"Hmmm?" I respond.  
  
"When you get back, can I talk to you in my office? Actually," he pauses, "send Martin in and then I want to speak with you."  
  
"Ok," I answer before hanging up the phone.  
  
"What was that about?" Martin glances my way.  
  
I shrug with a sigh, "I'm not sure. Jack wants to see you in his office and then me." I glance out the window, curious if Jack thinks something is going on between Martin and myself. No, I doubt that's the case.  
  
Once we get back, I head towards my desk, copying down the information and doing another search on our former FBI agent, to verify his story and his release out of the bureau. Sure enough, he shot his partner in a case of 'friendly fire' but I have a feeling there's more than what meets the eye. After all, he didn't seem to be plagued with guilt; there was something else I saw there, resentment?  
  
I glance towards Jack's office to see Martin standing over Jack's desk. I can't see much of what's going on, but it looks almost as though Martin's yelling at Jack. Why would that be the case? I shake my head, dismissing the thought. It doesn't make much sense. I hear the door open and glance at the monitor, trying to appear busy.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Martin's voice as he eyes me that it's my turn to speak with Jack.  
  
"Everything ok?" I question towards Martin as he lets out a sigh and exits the office area. "Alright," I whisper aloud to no one in particular.  
  
I make my way inside Jack's office, seeing him shove a file in his desk. "You wanted to see me?" I remind him.  
  
"Yeah, I wanted to see how Martin was during the case."  
  
"He was Martin," I repeat with a strange look on my face. "Jack," I question, moving closer to his desk. "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing," he shakes his head with a sigh.  
  
"You can talk to me," I remind him. "You know anything I hear won't leave this office."  
  
"I know," he nods, glancing up and into my eyes. "He wasn't out of line or did anything that could get us under investigation by the OPR again?"  
  
"Jack," I let out a soft laugh at the absurdity of the question. "Why would he do such a thing?" I pause, taking a seat in front of his desk to meet his eye level. "Is this about the shooting from nearly a month ago?" I let out a breath and shake my head. "I knew something wasn't right."  
  
"Yeah, well I didn't want to let him back into the field just yet, but."  
  
"I'm sorry; I didn't realize."  
  
"It's fine," he answers with a sigh. I study the features on his face and see how tired and worn he looks. "Did you find anything else useful?"  
  
"Not really," I shrug. "If Meijer isn't our guy, then we don't have any idea who is." Jack nods acceptance and closes his eyes for a mere second before opening them again. "Are you ok?" I question, seeing him plagued with something---exhaustion, guilt, regret?  
  
"You know how things are," he answers and tries to steer the conversation back towards me. "How was your Christmas?"  
  
"Good until you interrupted it," I eye him with a laugh.  
  
"Your date stay the night?" He eyes me with curiosity and something else, jealousy? I can't tell what's running through his mind.  
  
"Yes, but it's not at all what you're thinking," I answer.  
  
"I'm sorry I called you away from him. Maybe if we have some sort of Christmas miracle we can all be home with our families tonight."  
  
"Yeah," I whisper out with a sigh and move to stand up. "Anything else?" I question before I leave his office.  
  
"No. Vivian and Danny should be back any minute. Hopefully they'll have something we can run with."  
  
I nod my head and slip out from his office. I see Martin consumed in a file and notice Vivian and Danny coming from the elevator.  
  
"We've got a hit," Danny grins towards me, tossing a file my way. 


	9. Chapter 9

"We've got a hit," Danny grins towards me, tossing a file my way.  
  
******  
  
"What's this?" I question.  
  
"Everything on a Mitchell Landau. He's our prime suspect at the moment."  
  
I open the file that's filled with police reports on domestic abuse calls. "How does this fit into our missing persons case?"  
  
"She divorced him four years ago," Vivian answers as we head towards the conference table.  
  
"Four years ago? And now she goes missing," I read through the reports. "She didn't file anything until the divorce," I point out.  
  
"According to her mother, she didn't want to put him away because she knew the system and how he'd likely be released. That is, until she became pregnant."  
  
"With his child," I finish the thought.  
  
"No with her boss's baby."  
  
"What?" A startled look is etched on my face. "Her boss is female?"  
  
"Yes, her boss here is. I'm talking about her boss from four years ago, Samantha," Vivian tells me. "She didn't work only at the bureau then. At the time she was working for a non-profit organization, Friday through Sunday."  
  
"Extra money?" Martin questions.  
  
"That was our original thought," Danny answers, "until we found out about the affair from her boss."  
  
"Do you think he found out about the child and kidnapped Lisa?" I question.  
  
"It's a possibility but I can't see why, especially if it wasn't his kid."  
  
"So you're telling me that potentially we have two suspects not one: the boss she was having the affair with and her ex-husband."  
  
"As of right now, yes," Vivian nods her head.  
  
"Do we have anything on her former boss?" I question.  
  
"Not much. He was a single guy, lonely and unattached. I'm not sure what happened exactly and whose child it was. We get the impression the baby is the boss's but a DNA test was never conducted." Danny states.  
  
"It doesn't matter whose kid it is."  
  
"It might if Lisa's former boss wants custody."  
  
"Then why not kidnap the child?" Jack interjects as I glance up to see him approaching the table and then standing next to me.  
  
"We're not sure," Danny nods, "but we're getting there."  
  
"Vivian, I want you and Samantha to speak with the ex-husband, Mitchell Landau. Martin and Danny, you two go check out and investigate this former boss. What's his name?"  
  
I glance down over the file, "Jonathan Matthews."  
  
"I want you all to check in as soon as the interview is over. I don't want any mistakes being made. Is that understood?" Jack stares down Martin and then Vivian. The look he projects sends a sudden chill down my spine. Everyone nods, including Danny and myself because in truth we all fear the side of Jack Malone, that when he snaps, sends us so far into the depths of hell you feel like burying yourself in a pit of fire. Although I can't recall ever really being there, just witnessing it once or twice.  
  
Vivian and I grab a copy of the file and head down to the parking garage. "So much for getting Christmas off," I quip, glancing over as we slip into the car.  
  
"Tell me about it," Viv responds, as I sit behind the wheel and head out towards our destination.  
  
My cell phone vibrates in my pocket and I shift around, grabbing it from my jacket. I glance at the unfamiliar caller ID. "Hello?"  
  
"You're with him again, aren't you?" I hear the female voice on the other end of the phone. The voice sounds vaguely familiar.  
  
"I think you have the wrong number," I answer politely.  
  
"I'm trying to reach Samantha. Is this not her number?"  
  
"It is," I reluctantly respond.  
  
"What gives you the right to think you can interfere in my family, and take my husband away from his children and, of all days, on Christmas!"  
  
"We're on a case," I reassure her. "One of our own disappeared. I'm sorry I can't share more with you."  
  
"Yeah, well you've said more then Jack." My suspicions are confirmed that it is Maria on the phone.  
  
"Listen, I think you should call Jack if there's something you need to talk about. I'm in the middle of an investigation and."  
  
"I'm sorry for interrupting you," she tells me before hanging up.  
  
Vivian eyes me intently. "You don't want to know," I warn her.  
  
"Actually I do," Viv answers.  
  
"Maria."  
  
"Ouch," Vivian glances my way then back down at the file. "I thought you two were over."  
  
"Over? There never was anything going on."  
  
She laughs softly and glances at me with this look that says she knows. "You don't have to lie to me. I'm not Farrell," she states. "Besides, I know it's none of my business, but Jack seemed so happy and at ease when you two were sneaking around. Now he's.well he's back to his lonely, depressed self."  
  
"He's not lonely," I correct Vivian. "He's married and he has a family."  
  
"Have you talked to Jack lately?"  
  
"Sure," I answer with a laugh.  
  
"About his wife?"  
  
"That's a sore subject between us, but for good reason," I remind her.  
  
"I'm just saying things aren't so good in the Malone house. I'm sure you figured that out yourself when Maria called you."  
  
"Yeah," I answer with a sigh, pulling up in front of our suspect's home.  
  
"What are you going to do?" She eyes me, referring to whether or not I'll tell Jack.  
  
"Interview Mr. Landau," I answer, changing the subject back to work. "Hopefully he'll shine some light on this investigation."  
  
"Mitchell Landau." I knock on the door, waiting for a response. A few moments later a man in his mid-forties opens the door.  
  
"I'm not interested," he states.  
  
"We're with the FBI, Mr. Landau," Vivian tells him. "I'm Agent Johnson and this is Agent Spade." We show him our credentials. "May we come in?"  
  
"I don't know what this is about. Did Betsy call you again? That damn woman," his voice bellows out as we step foot into his home. Immediately the place smells of stale cigarette smoke and I hold my breath to keep from feeling ill.  
  
"We're here about your ex-wife, Lisa Harris," I begin. "She went missing sometime last night."  
  
"That's a shame," he shrugs his shoulders like it's no big deal.  
  
"Where were you, Mr. Landau, last night around six?"  
  
"Let me think," he takes a seat on the ragged sofa. "At work, like I always am."  
  
"On Christmas Eve?" Vivian questions.  
  
"Man's got to eat."  
  
"When was the last time you saw Lisa?" I question. His eyes rake over my body before they meet my face and immediately I feel sick in his presence.  
  
"It's been awhile," he nods. "When I signed the divorce papers would be the last time."  
  
"And you haven't seen her since?" I question.  
  
"Hell no. That bitch was cheating on me with some scumbag lowlife. He even fuckin' knocked her up and got the whore pregnant."  
  
We finish interviewing Mitchell and head for the door. As I step outside a fresh burst of air fills my lungs and I cough trying to inhale more then I'm allowed to.  
  
"I think he's hiding something," Vivian eyes me as we climb back into the car.  
  
"No kidding. I don't see why he'd wait four years though," I state with a sigh, backing out of his driveway.  
  
"Maybe he thought he'd go off the radar by now. I'll call Jack and relay him the news," Vivian tells me.  
  
After a brief conversation, she hands me the phone, her eyes telling me I should inform him of the call that was placed earlier by his wife.  
  
"Hey, Viv said you had something to share? What's going on?"  
  
I let out a sigh. "Where are you right now?"  
  
"I'm in my office alone. What's on your mind, Sam?"  
  
"Maria called me, Jack. What's going on?"  
  
He lets out a sigh and there's a pause before he answers. "I don't know."  
  
"Well, then how did she get my cell phone number?"  
  
"Maybe from my phone. I don't know, Sam. What do you want me to do about it?" I let out a soft laugh.  
  
"Absolutely nothing," I answer handing the phone back to Viv. She shuts it off, and slips it back into her coat pocket.  
  
"It doesn't sound like he took it very well, but you've got to see this from Jack's point of view, Samantha," Vivian tells me.  
  
"I know," I let out another sigh as we pull into the federal building. "I've given him his space; I'm not sure what else to do at this point, aside from transferring out," I state as we step into the elevator and make our way into the office. 


	10. Chapter 10

"I know," I let out another sigh as we pull into the federal building. "I've given him his space. I'm not sure what else to do at this point, aside from transferring out," I state as we step into the elevator and make our way into the office.  
  
*****  
  
I notice Jack, Martin, and Danny sitting around the conference table discussing what they've got. Vivian and I take a seat with them.  
  
"We've got two leads and only one has an alibi. Martin, I want you to find out if Mr. Landau's alibi checks out. Sam, you'll go with him. Danny and Vivian, you two are going to speak with Mr. Matthews' family, and see if they can shine some light on the situation. Maybe they know of a cabin or someplace Lisa could be."  
  
"Alright," we all nod in agreement and I grab the file, before glancing over towards Jack. He looks tired and mildly depressed. Maybe it's the fact it's Christmas Day, and we're all stuck at work. I know the missing never take a day off, but maybe just once it would be nice if we could have a real holiday. I'm sure Jack could use that with his family, to rekindle their marriage. I let out a soft breath. Why am I thinking of Jack and his wife together? Maybe I am ready to move on.  
  
"Sam, can I have a word with you in my office?"  
  
"Sure." I follow Jack inside and watch as he shuts the door behind me.  
  
"Take a seat," he tells me before moving towards his desk. He glances down at a file, and shuts it rather quickly before meeting my eyes.  
  
"Jack, what's going on?"  
  
"There's a lot of paperwork for this case," he muses, "Not sure what to make of all of it just yet."  
  
"That's not why you called me into your office and shut your door," I point out.  
  
"You're right, it's not."  
  
"It's about Maria?" He nods, letting out a soft breath. "She knows about us?" I question.  
  
"She asked me almost two years ago. I didn't deny it but certainly didn't tell her who it was."  
  
"I guess she figured it out on her own," I state softly. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"Yes." His eyes meet mine and I see concern and worry written all over his features. "I shouldn't even be asking you this, Samantha. We've been over for some time and I know you're moving on with your life."  
  
"Yeah," I respond, eyeing him skeptically.  
  
"Maria doesn't believe it's over between us. I thought perhaps if she met your current boyfriend, then maybe." his words trail off.  
  
"Jack, you're not suggesting we double date," I laugh at the absurdity of the idea.  
  
"No, maybe just run into each other at dinner."  
  
"I can't, Jack."  
  
"You know I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't desperate." His eyes meet mine and I feel my heart ache.  
  
"I don't think it's such a good idea."  
  
"You don't think this guy will go with you? You don't have to tell him about us," Jack reminds me. "You could introduce me as your boss."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head no. "He's always busy, I'm not sure he could get the time off, and even if he could."  
  
"Let me guess; he's a doctor?" Jack's eyes raise in amusement. "He'll likely get paged and have to leave."  
  
"Something like that," I answer. "Besides, I've only had one date with the guy. You're putting a whole lot of presumption in the fact we'll go out again." I eye him seriously.  
  
"I can't imagine any guy saying no to you, Sam."  
  
"Yeah, well." I pause, not wanting to remind Jack he's a guy that did just that. "Can't you two try marriage counseling?" I suggest.  
  
"We're doing that, but it's not getting anywhere. I'm hoping if she sees you've moved on, then she'll know I am working late, and won't badger me about the hours I've kept."  
  
"Jack, maybe she's right," I softly answer. His eyes hold confusion and hurt. "You shouldn't be here on Christmas; you should be with your family."  
  
"The missing have a right to be found," Jack reminds me.  
  
"I know," I let out a sigh, "I can't make any promises on who I'll bring. If my date can't make it, maybe Danny or Martin will be able to," I state blandly, trying not to clue Jack in on who I spent Christmas Eve with.  
  
"Maria knows both of them. Bring your date from last night," Jack states. "Besides, are you afraid to let me meet him?"  
  
"No," I answer with a hint of a smile on my lips. "I just don't want you to make a big deal of it."  
  
"I won't," he says as he rests his hands over mine. "You know I wouldn't ask you if."  
  
"I know," I nod. "I'll see what I can do," I tell him. I stand up and head out of his office, debating on whether I should invite Martin or find a one- time fling to bring with me.  
  
"Ready to go?" I hear Martin's voice and nod in his direction as we head down to his car. He's quiet on most of the drive there, and I glance over at him.  
  
"Is something bothering you?" I question.  
  
"It's nothing," he shakes his head. "Just a waste of another holiday," he whispers out.  
  
"I hope that's not true," I eye him with a sad glance. "I thought last night was special, and I was hoping tonight could be too."  
  
"Yeah, well not if we're on this damn case."  
  
"Martin what's gotten into you?"  
  
"I said it's nothing," he answers loudly as I shift away from him and glance out the car window. He lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry Samantha," he tells me as his hand moves towards mine. I don't make any move at all, since I'm not sure how to feel or respond to his behavior.  
  
I let out a soft breath, as we pull into the parking lot where Mr. Landau works. We head inside the building, flashing our credentials to speak with his boss. As the interview drags on, we find out he was at work the night of the disappearance, but his record for showing up on time is marked heavily in dark ink.  
  
"He was here with you at six last night?" I question.  
  
"Yes. I offered to give him the night off, but he refused. I left quarter after six, so I can't say how long he stayed."  
  
"Is there any surveillance footage of employees?" I question.  
  
"No," he shakes his head. We finish our interview and head back to Martin's car.  
  
"Any ideas?" I inquire.  
  
"Maybe Vivian and Danny found something."  
  
"Yeah but I think Landau is more likely to have done it."  
  
"Gut instinct?" Martin glances my way.  
  
"Actually I think his record stands on its own."  
  
"Are you going to phone Jack? Let him know we didn't find anything?"  
  
"No," I shake my head, "we'll tell him when we get back."  
  
"He's not going to be happy," Martin muses.  
  
"He's busy anyways. No sense in burdening the man. I'll try Danny; maybe he's got something we can work with."  
  
I dial Danny's cell phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Tell me you have something," I answer.  
  
"No one's been in contact with Matthews in forty-eight hours, aside from the FBI. He had Christmas Eve off, and he called in sick the day before."  
  
"You think it's him?"  
  
"I think it's plausible," Danny responds. "I can't see the connection, though---not really. If he wanted to be with Lisa, why not the daughter too?"  
  
"Maybe he doesn't know about the girl?" I offer the suggestion. "Has he been in contact with Lisa?"  
  
"You'll have to call Jack to find out," Danny answers.  
  
"Will do." I hang up the phone and then dial Jack.  
  
"Malone," Jack answers the phone.  
  
"Jack, I've got a scenario I want you to hear."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"We didn't find anything useful from Landau, so I called Danny, and we've come up with something interesting. We know Lisa has a four-year old girl, and we're suspecting the child is Matthews', but what if he doesn't know he has a daughter? I'm thinking if he's kidnapped Lisa, he's done it to be with her. It's only a matter of time till the young girl goes missing too."  
  
"Assuming it's Matthews and he's doing it to have a family," Jack offers.  
  
"Do you have a record of any calls between Matthews and Harris in the past year?"  
  
I hear Jack sifting through papers. "Yeah, there's a few calls late at night being made to her cell phone."  
  
"You want us to look into it?"  
  
"No," Jack answers, "I'll go and question him. Danny and Vivian should be back any time. I want you to go to the Harris' home and bring in the daughter."  
  
"What's her name?" I question.  
  
"Ashley Harris. From what we've gathered, she doesn't know either possibility of a father, but I'm thinking if we show her pictures of both men, we might have something to go on."  
  
"It's a shot in the dark," I point out. "After all, Jack, she's only four."  
  
"Our biggest concern is that she doesn't go missing," he reminds me. "I'd prefer if you didn't worry the parents though. You might offer keeping an eye on her."  
  
"You're joking?"  
  
"No," he answers firmly before hanging up.  
  
"Make a right," I tell Martin. "We're going to the Harris' home."  
  
"Lisa's?"  
  
"No, her parents. We're going to talk to Ashley and take her into custody."  
  
"You're kidding? She's only a child."  
  
"We want to make sure she's not in any danger," I answer.  
  
We knock on the Harris' front door and there's no answer. "Weren't Danny and Viv just here?" I glance at Martin seeing no sign of their car.  
  
"They must have left already." He points out.  
  
I hear a loud crash on the inside of their home, and see no one approaching the door.  
  
"FBI!" I shout, pounding again before busting inside and breaking the lock. I hear a young child crying and screaming in the distance, while Martin and I approach every corner with caution, and our gun drawn. I feel a blow to the back of my head and minutes later Martin's fingers in my hair. "I'm okay," I whisper out.  
  
"He took the little girl."  
  
"Jonathan Matthews?"  
  
"I couldn't get a proper ID, but I'd guess so." He helps me to my feet, and I feel my balance wobble as the room spins.  
  
"Give me a second," I whisper out. "Where's the parents?" I question.  
  
"They're being taken by ambulance, with a mild concussion and some abrasions."  
  
"How long was I out?" I eye him.  
  
"Not long. The neighbors heard the commotion and called the police. Should we get you checked out too?"  
  
"No, I'm fine," I answer. "Just a tinge of a headache. Don't worry," I smile in response. "Did you see the make and model of the vehicle?"  
  
"No," Martin shakes his head with a sigh. I notice Jack making his way through the door.  
  
"You ok?" He glances towards me.  
  
"Yeah, fine," I nod. He looks to Martin and then back to me.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes, Jack," I laugh softly, heading towards the mirror to see my ghostly reflection but no apparent bruising. I feel over the back of my head and know I'll have a bump there tomorrow though.  
  
"So our suspect took off with Ashley Harris?" He eyes me.  
  
"I was out cold," I answer.  
  
"Then you need to get checked out before going back into the field."  
  
"I wasn't that cold," I laugh and shake my head. "I just didn't see what went down."  
  
"Martin?" Jack eyes him.  
  
"We entered the home when we heard screams from the daughter. The parents were unconscious and the perp took off on foot."  
  
"And you let him leave?"  
  
"Agent Spade was down, sir," Martin answers. "I brushed past her as she was regaining consciousness but failed to see the suspect or the vehicle that was used."  
  
"Just great," Jack lets out an annoyed sigh.  
  
"I'm sure it was Jonathan Matthews."  
  
"Did you get a good look at him?"  
  
"No," Martin responds.  
  
"Then how will you testify that he's the one who kidnapped Lisa and Ashley Harris?" Jack eyes him sternly and Martin doesn't answer right away.  
  
"We'll find him and bring the girls home safely."  
  
"You better hope so," Jack responds dryly and exits out the front door.  
  
"We should try any family Matthews has; maybe they can shine some light on where he would have taken them."  
  
"You're assuming we have the right man," Jack retorts over his shoulder.  
  
"He's never going to forgive me, will he?" Martin mumbles, quiet enough for me to hear.  
  
"Don't sweat it," I smile softly, walking outside and to the car.  
  
"I'm sending Danny and Vivian to speak with the parents. You two go check out his house again. If he's there, interview him."  
  
Martin takes a seat behind the wheel as I slowly step into the passenger side.  
  
"You sure you're ok?"  
  
"A little sore," I answer honestly. "It'll be worse tomorrow."  
  
"Hopefully, we'll have tomorrow off."  
  
"When do we ever?" I point out with a sigh.  
  
"We'll find them," Martin reassures me, backing out of the driveway as I give him directions to Jonathan Matthews' home. 


	11. Chapter 11

"We'll find them," Martin reassures me, backing out of the driveway as I give him directions to Jonathan Matthews' home.  
  
****  
  
We knock repeatedly on the door, and there's no answer. "We should go in," Martin states, eyeing through the windows.  
  
"Do you see anything that gives us probable cause?"  
  
"No," he whispers out after a moment.  
  
"Then we question the neighbors." I nod towards next door and the woman sitting on her porch.  
  
After an hour of speaking with friendly neighbors, who saw and heard absolutely nothing, we head back to the office.  
  
"Tell me you have something," Jack states as we walk in through the door.  
  
"No," I shake my head. "The most we got was that Matthews wasn't very neighborly. No one really knew him, or spoke with him, aside from the occasional hello."  
  
"Did Vivian and Danny come up with anything?" Martin questions.  
  
"They're on their way back now. They spoke with the parents but didn't get anything useful. In fact, they've never heard of Lisa Harris."  
  
"Just great," I mutter and glance down at my phone that's vibrating. The unfamiliar number is glowing. "Agent Spade," I answer.  
  
"Is this Samantha?"  
  
"Who is this?" I question, glancing towards Jack confused.  
  
"Stop hassling my family, and leave us alone."  
  
"We can't, Mr. Matthews. You've kidnapped two innocent people."  
  
"They're being cared for."  
  
"That may be the case, but they deserve more then that. Let me come to you and help."  
  
"You can't help. You see what happens when you get involved."  
  
"Mr. Matthews, I know what you're going through. You love her, but you couldn't be with her, because she was married. She's not married anymore. You don't have to do this."  
  
"That's what Lisa said," he lets out a sigh. "She loves me; you know that," he tells me.  
  
"If you love her, you'll let Lisa and Ashley go."  
  
"Do you know that she never told me about her daughter, until Ashley turned two? I offered her support-a husband, my life--and she refused. I love her and I would never hurt her."  
  
"Can I talk to her?"  
  
"Samantha," I hear her fragile voice.  
  
"Are you hurt?"  
  
"No," she lets out a sigh. "Ashley's frightened and so am I."  
  
"I know," I whisper out. "Can you tell me where you are?"  
  
"That's enough chatting," Jonathan's voice sounds through the phone, giving me a location and telling me to come alone.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's voice, as he tries to get a trace on the call, but it's too late. "You're not going, are you?"  
  
"What other choice do we have?"  
  
"He didn't ask for money, Sam. It's not a good situation to go into alone."  
  
"You'll be around," I point out. "Besides, maybe he needs someone that will listen. Someone that is going through what he did."  
  
Martin glances between us, as Jack stares me down. "Don't make this about what it's not," Jack warns me quietly.  
  
"I'm just saying, maybe if he realizes what he's doing is wrong, he'll let them go. He didn't sound like an irrational man, Jack."  
  
"Yeah, well."  
  
"I can go with her," Martin offers.  
  
"No," Jack shakes his head. "You'll stay here with Vivian. Danny and I will accompany you. We'll be across the street."  
  
I nod my head, and Jack quickly heads on over towards Danny who's making his way into the office, relaying him the news.  
  
I grab my gun and my phone, driving separately to the destination, with Jack and Danny following behind. I step out of the car slowly and alert of anyone watching. The air is still and the world seems mute. I let out a breath, heading towards the address and knocking on the door. "Come in," I hear the familiar male voice from the phone.  
  
I slowly open the door, my hand over my gun, ready to draw it at an instance notice.  
  
I step inside the neatly arranged townhouse and can only imagine Jack or Danny next door, surveying and interviewing the residents. "Samantha Spade?" I hear the voice from deeper inside the house.  
  
"Yes, I'm with the FBI," I remind him.  
  
"I know who you are. Leave your gun on the table."  
  
"How do I know you're not armed and prepared to shoot me?" I answer, slowly stepping towards the living room.  
  
"You don't. It's a chance you'll have to take. Besides, I could have killed you already." I put my gun down between the fridge and cabinets, ready to grab it if necessary and in a place where only I will know it exists.  
  
I step inside the room with my hands up as I see Jonathan with a revolver in his hands.  
  
"Turn around," he states briskly.  
  
"So you can shoot me in the back?"  
  
"I need to know you're not wired and without a weapon."  
  
"I didn't bring it. I could get fired for this," I warn Matthews. "I'm here to help you, because I know what you're going through."  
  
"That's what Lisa said." I eye Lisa, who's holding Ashley on the sofa.  
  
"Why don't you let them go?" I question.  
  
"I love them," he retorts dryly. "You know about love."  
  
"I know you don't force someone to love you in return. Ashley's scared." I glance at the little one, who is shaking and visibly crying on her mom's shoulder.  
  
"She doesn't know me, but that's not my wrong doing," Matthews glances towards Lisa angrily. "You should have told me sooner!"  
  
"Maybe she didn't know how," I offer the words.  
  
"She knew, and instead she stayed with that jerk of a husband, Mitchell."  
  
"They've been divorced four years now," I tell him. "Did Lisa tell you that?"  
  
He nods, "doesn't make what he did right."  
  
"This isn't right either." I remind him. "..kidnapping the people you love."  
  
"I'm saving them from Mitchell. Eventually he would go after Ashley and Lisa. He's got a temper that he can't control. He'd hurt, or worse.kill"  
  
"You're saving them?" I eye him questionably. "Let them decide if they need saving, Jonathan."  
  
"I know what's best for my daughter."  
  
"What about what's best for Lisa? Doesn't she get to decide what she wants?"  
  
"She made her decision a long time ago." He takes a seat on the table, between the girls and myself, waving a gun around when he speaks.  
  
"You have to let them go."  
  
"I want them in my life. I won't take no for an answer. You've got to help me. You're the only one that's been through what I have."  
  
"If you love her, you'll let her go," I state softly. "It's the right thing to do," I remind him. "Give me the gun, Jonathan. You don't want to do this."  
  
"Yes I do," he nods with cold dead eyes. "I've been in pain far too long. We'll be together."  
  
"No," I shake my head.  
  
"What other choice do I have? Go to jail, because I love a woman that had my child?"  
  
"You put yourself in this situation. I can help you out of it the easy way, or you can make things harder for yourself."  
  
"What can you do for me?"  
  
"If you let them go, I can help you."  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "You'll let me die. When they're gone, you won't need me. I just want to be with my family," he sighs out.  
  
"You'll have me as collateral." I offer the words that remind me of the one thing that terrorized my own life. "That's all you need."  
  
"You don't understand! I want to be left alone with my family."  
  
"That's not your choice to make. You took them from their homes. Don't they have a right to be happy, on Christmas?"  
  
"They are happy!" His voice shouts loud and clear.  
  
"Do they look that way to you?" I question. "Let them go, Jonathan," I softly tell him while slowly approaching. My hand comes to rest on his hand that's holding the gun. "Do what's right. She loved the man she met," I remind him. "Do you want to take that away from her?"  
  
"No," his voice cracks as the gun falls into my hands. "Go," his head nods towards Lisa and Ashley. Her eyes thank me, as she carries her daughter down the stairs.  
  
I pull out the handcuffs, putting his hands behind his back and locking them in place. I escort him outside, to see half a dozen squad cars with weapons drawn. They lower their weapons and take custody of him.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Lisa's voice and turn around to see her with her daughter sitting down in an open squad car. "I knew you were the one who could make sense of the situation."  
  
I smile softly in response. "Glad we could get it all worked out." I watch as she holds her daughter close, trying to gently soothe and rock her little girl. "You're more than welcome to have Christmas over at my place," I offer her.  
  
"No," she shakes her head with tears. "Thank you, though. I'm going to stay with my parents for a few days till things are settled."  
  
"Good idea," I tell her, shutting the door and heading over towards Jack. "You should head home," I point out. "You still have a few hours left of Christmas to spend with your family."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"Don't worry about me," I answer with a smile playing on my lips. 


	12. Chapter 12

"Don't worry about me," I answer with a smile playing on my lips.  
  
********  
  
I head back to the office, seeing Martin reading over a file.  
  
"What have you got there?" I question, glancing over his shoulder.  
  
"Just finishing up paperwork, so I can take the night off," he eyes me with a yawn. "Vivian left already. Where's Jack and Danny?"  
  
"Home," I respond. "Case was successfully closed."  
  
"Yeah, I heard from Jack, but I thought he was coming back here."  
  
"Nope," I shake my head. "He went home to his wife," I shrug. "You want to get out of here?"  
  
"Don't I always?" he laughs softly. "I heard you did good negotiating during the hostage situation," he eyes me with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, I did," I answer with a growing grin. "I guess things are finally looking upward."  
  
"It's about time," he muses, helping me into my coat and down to the parking garage. "Listen, Samantha, there's something I should tell you, but I'm not sure how."  
  
I take a seat in his car, buckling in, and glancing over at him. "Just say it," I point out the obvious.  
  
"I don't want you to shoot the messenger, and I swore to Jack I wouldn't say a word but--"  
  
"If it involves Jack, I'm not sure I want to know," I state. "If I hear something from you, and I need to go to him about it, I will."  
  
"That's what I was worried about," he lets out a sigh.  
  
"You can't expect me not to."  
  
"I know, but you should know what happened. Maybe I'm being stupid by telling you," he pauses as we head off towards my apartment.  
  
"Martin, if it's eating you up that much, then just say it. I probably already know anyways."  
  
He eyes me, and then lets out a sigh. "If you tell Jack, he'll kill me."  
  
"Why?" I question as we make our way up the stairs to my home.  
  
"Because I caught him reading something he wasn't supposed to be."  
  
"You mean the client files. I know he was looking into those."  
  
"Not just any files," Martin eyes me.  
  
"Are you implying he was reading my file?"  
  
"When I came in the office he just opened it. I don't know what he read, or didn't read, but I told him it wasn't right, and you should be notified. He asked me not to, Samantha, but I couldn't lie to you. You mean too much to me as a friend to keep that kind of secret from you."  
  
"Thanks," I respond with a half-hearted smile and a sigh.  
  
"Now you're upset," he points out, as we step inside and shut the door to keep the cold air out.  
  
"I'm disappointed," I correct him, heading towards the kitchen to grab something to make for dinner.  
  
"Let me cook."  
  
"You don't have to."  
  
"I know. I don't have to be with you on Christmas either, but I want to," he answers with a smile and places his hand gently on my shoulder.  
  
"Thank you," I whisper out. "I'm glad you're here tonight. I'm not sure I could handle this on my own right now. Especially after what you told me."  
  
"I shouldn't have," he shakes his head with a sigh.  
  
"I asked him earlier if he had my file there. He didn't answer me. I should have known."  
  
"He's probably just concerned; it isn't like you tell us much of anything, especially what's bothering you."  
  
I shrug off his words and turn my back, looking into the fridge for something to drink. I glance into the cabinets above the fridge, pulling out the hard liquor.  
  
"Samantha, I'm not sure that's a good idea."  
  
"We have tomorrow off," I point out. "Besides I need to unwind." I grab a shot glass, filling it before downing it. Martin watches me and lets out a sigh, as I take two more shots before interfering.  
  
"You've had enough." He takes the bottle from me, as I give him a pitiful look.  
  
"I'm barely feeling the effects, Martin," I whine.  
  
"After dinner you can have some more. You've barely eaten anything today as it is."  
  
"Fine," I roll my eyes and head towards the refrigerator to grab something to munch on.  
  
"Go sit down," Martin pushes me towards the sofa. "I'll work on dinner, while you rest up."  
  
"Can I have my bottle back?"  
  
"No," he eyes me strongly, as I let out a frustrated sigh and stand up.  
  
"Where are you going?" He questions, as I head down the hallway.  
  
"To drown myself in the shower," I retort.  
  
I shut my bedroom door, remembering to lock it this time. I head towards the phone, deciding on whether or not I should ruin Jack's Christmas, like he has mine. It wasn't bad enough we had to be at work, but he also went behind my back. I shake my head in disgust and head for the shower. I know it won't change things, but maybe if I can unwind at all, Martin will be better company, or maybe I'll be better company.  
  
After I finish showering, I slip on a pair of warm flannel pajamas, and head out to see Martin cooking on the stove.  
  
"How's it coming?" I question, entering in the kitchen to smell the delicious food on the stove.  
  
"Almost done," he glances back at me. "Nice pajamas."  
  
"Don't make fun," I eye him.  
  
"I'm not. You just look really cute," he answers, while I head on over to grab the plates to set the table.  
  
"Thanks," I respond, as I feel myself blushing.  
  
After dinner we both take a seat on the sofa, and I eye the kitchen. "You want to know where I hid that bottle of alcohol, don't you?" I nod with a grin. "Wouldn't you rather be sober tonight?"  
  
"Not really," I answer. "I trust you, and I personally would rather not think about the failures of my life."  
  
"What failures?"  
  
"See you're already making me think about them." I stand up and feel Martin's hand on my wrist. My eyes meet his as I notice how dark they are. "Martin, let go." I try and wiggle my hand from his grip, but can't stop laughing as he holds on.  
  
"You don't need anymore to drink," he tells me.  
  
"What's the worst that could happen? You won't let me drink enough to get a hangover," I eye him seriously.  
  
"What about another migraine?"  
  
"I've got you here to help," I grin wickedly in response, as I hear him let out a deep breath of air that glides past my lips.  
  
"You're wearing the perfume I bought you."  
  
"Yeah," I nod and watch as he releases his grip on me. He shuts his eyes for a second before opening them. "Martin, what's going on?" I eye him curiously.  
  
"You just smell really good, that's all."  
  
"I would hope so. After all, you bought it for me." I smile wickedly and bend down to press a soft kiss to his lips, a rather friendly gesture. He catches me by surprise, though, and wraps his arms around my waist, as I feel the kiss building and the heat between us. His tongue brushes against my lips, asking entrance for more as I pull away. "Martin?" I feel my head foggy and confused at what's going on. His eyes speak volumes, yet his lips say nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry," he blurts out rather loudly, as I move to sit beside him on the sofa. Our legs brush against each other when I take a seat.  
  
"Don't be," I answer, moving my hand along his jaw line. "It felt really nice," I reassure him, moving my hand to his thigh.  
  
"Samantha, we can't," he shakes his head.  
  
"We don't have to," I point out, "if you tell me where the bottle of rum is."  
  
"Oh no," Martin shakes his head. "You're not getting it."  
  
"Come on," I whine. "If I don't have any more, then at least I want you to catch up with me."  
  
"Not a good idea."  
  
"What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
"I could let my feelings for you get in the way of common sense," he states seriously.  
  
I can't help but laugh. "You're kidding me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then relax." I move my hand over his chest. "I won't seduce you, if that's what you're worried about."  
  
"You could have fooled me," he glances down at my hand on his chest.  
  
I roll my eyes and move my hand to his shoulder. "I just want to unwind tonight. Please?" My eyes meet his, and he stands up and heads for the kitchen where the pots and pans are. He pulls out the bottle of rum and gulps quite a bit down.  
  
"I think we're caught up now," he answers.  
  
"You just dirtied my bottle," I state dumbly and then laugh at the absurdity of it. "Give," I put out my hand to have some more.  
  
"I don't want to hear any complaints in the morning," he warns me before handing over the bottle.  
  
I take a swig, gulping down enough that I manage to feel my mouth go numb.  
  
"You're dribbling." Martin moves his hand over my mouth, wiping at the rum that's dripping down my lips.  
  
"Thanks," I answer, moving my fingers over my own lips and then over Martins. "Feel numb yet?" I question before moving my lips over his.  
  
"Samantha," he whispers out as I capture his mouth and feel the heat building between us. It's been too long since I felt loved, and right now it feels perfect. His hand finds its way into my hair, as our kisses grow hotter and more intense. "You smell so good," he breathes into my ear as I feel the room growing warm and my face flushed.  
  
"You're just saying that because you gave me the gift," I eye him sternly.  
  
"Not true," he tells me. "Oh, yeah, I never got to open your gift." He eyes me with a smile and sees the package on the coffee table.  
  
"I can give you something better," I grin, playfully nipping at his lips.  
  
"No," he shakes his head, "as tempting as that is, I want to see what's in here." He peels back the remainder of the paper to reveal a box of chocolates.  
  
"I know it's not real personal, but I thought you might like it," I wince at the horrible I gift I got him.  
  
"It's perfect," he answers, unwrapping the clear plastic and pulling one out. "A chocolate-covered strawberry," he smiles "Open up."  
  
He feeds me a bite of the juicy treat before I move my lips to his, feeling us making a mess between us. I can't help but laugh as I feel his tongue and lips lapping up at the chocolate that's dribbled down my chin.  
  
"You're making me sticky," I groan.  
  
"Good," he answers, moving his lips onto mine again, and this time rolling us so I'm on my back with him above me on the sofa.  
  
My lips nip at his, tasting the chocolate, and the strawberry flavor. "Mmm, you taste yummy."  
  
"Yummy?" He eyes me as I feel my cheeks burning and I nod. "You're so adorable when you're drunk."  
  
"I'm not drunk," I scoff at the idea.  
  
"You're not?" he questions, moving his mouth down to my neck, as I lean my head back exposing the bareskin to his tongue.  
  
"No, just aroused," I answer.  
  
"That makes two of us," he tells me, kissing the hollow of my neck as his hands tease my sides.  
  
"We could take this someplace more comfortable," I suggest with a grin, brushing my lips against his, as I roam my hands down his back and slide my fingers beneath his shirt.  
  
"As much as I want to," he eyes me seriously, "I can't."  
  
"Oh," I feel slightly hurt and pull out from under him.  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"Just don't," I put up my hands to stop him. "No explanation needed," I tell him, closing the bottle of liquor and walking off into the bedroom.  
  
"Sam," I hear his voice knocking on my door.  
  
"Samantha," I correct him and see him slowly opening the door. "You have no idea how much I want you, but I care too much to be with you."  
  
"Martin you're not making any sense."  
  
"I couldn't let it be a one-night thing between us. I like you Samantha, a lot."  
  
"I know," I nod with a soft smile, tugging on his hand and pulling him onto the bed, his body falling above mine.  
  
"I think I'm falling in love with you," he whispers down to me.  
  
"No," I shake my head. "It's the rum talking. In the morning you won't be saying those kinds of things."  
  
"Only because I'm too worried what you'll think of me."  
  
"Awww," I whisper out, pulling my arms around him in a hug as I slide back onto the mattress to lie down and feel his body lying beside mine.  
  
I brush my lips against his and he gently stops me. "I want this more then anything, Samantha, but I won't do this until I know you love me in return. I can't take the heartache it'll cause."  
  
"You're such a romantic." I run my fingers along his jaw before giving him another kiss. The rest of the night becomes a blur from the alcohol and sometime during the early hours I fall deeply asleep wrapped in Martin's arms. 


	13. Chapter 13

"You're such a romantic." I run my fingers along his jaw before giving him another kiss. The rest of the night becomes a blur from the alcohol and sometime during the early hours I fall deeply asleep wrapped in Martin's arms.  
  
******  
  
I roll around, awakened by the sunlight and the warm hands holding me close. I glance over at Martin and see us tangled in the bed sheets. I feel his warm skin against mine, and wonder exactly how far we went last night. Most of what happened is a blur, and what I do remember is agreeing not to have sex just yet, because he cares too much. I laugh inwardly at the idea and wonder what Jack would say or think to the absurdity of it.  
  
"Mmm, Sam," I hear his voice in my ears and his hands on my back holding me close. It's the first time I've heard the words 'Sam' on his lips where it doesn't make my stomach churn with nausea. I lean down, pressing a soft kiss to his bare chest.  
  
I feel him stirring beneath me and immediately his body freezes as he awakens. "Samantha?" He whispers out, his hands moving away from my body and running through his hair. "What happened?"  
  
"You don't remember?" I counter.  
  
"No," he winces at the words, worried I'll kill him.  
  
"Me either," I laugh at the idea. "I remember us fooling around a bit, but I don't know when you took your clothes off."  
  
"Yeah," he glances down at his bare chest and then towards my breasts. Only now am I aware of the underwear and bra I'm wearing to bed. When did I get changed? I shake off the thought, not wanting to remember what happened as I feel his finger dip under my chin. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"  
  
"No," I shake my head. "I'm as much to blame as you are. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'd remember if something happened."  
  
"Right," he nods, glancing around the walls of the bedroom.  
  
"Martin, relax." I run my hand over his chest. "You told me last night how you felt about me. Isn't this what you wanted?" I move my finger tips over his skin and down across his stomach.  
  
"You have no idea," he whispers out in a haze.  
  
"Then show me," I toy with him, his eyes watching mine as my fingers tease at the edge of his boxers but don't delve any lower.  
  
"I told you, Sam," his voice catches in his throat, not being able to speak the final syllables of my name. "I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize our working relationship."  
  
"I can handle that," I grin in response, moving my lips to his ear. "Can you?" I tease out in a seductive tone, drawing my tongue along his lobe.  
  
"Samantha," he breathes out. "I can't do this, knowing you're still in love with Jack."  
  
"What?" I stop dead in my tracks; my hands don't know what to touch or whether to move. I feel Martin's fingers in my hair as he rolls me onto my back and he props himself on his elbows to lean down and look into my eyes.  
  
"I know about your affair with him. I don't judge you, Samantha, but I just can't go into this knowing your heart's with him."  
  
"He was the first man I ever truly loved," I whisper out, "and, worst of all, I couldn't have him."  
  
"He was stupid, Samantha."  
  
"No, I was."  
  
"He was," Martin tells me, "for letting you go." I feel his lips pressing a kiss to my forehead and his hands in my hair trying to softly soothe me. "I know I'm not him, but I love you all the same." He presses a kiss to my cheek. "I would worship you like heaven on earth, Samantha."  
  
"I know you would." I feel my heart breaking because my heart is with Jack, but Martin's heart is with me.  
  
Do I give in to temptation? Lisa once told me I had to move on, that it was the only way to heal. She's right, but it hurts so much, I feel as though it might kill me.  
  
Besides, didn't Jack betray me? He went behind my back to read Lisa's file on me? Isn't that worse than reading someone's diary? It feels that way. I remember back in sixth grade, Janice, one of my friends, ripped the lock off my diary and read it aloud. I had another friend over, and she heard everything inside. I couldn't bear to stand up and fight with her. Instead, I ran out crying because I felt betrayed and embarrassed that I was ever her friend.  
  
Funny thing is, Jack knows this story. He knows about all the people in my life who've hurt me. I realize I hardly know anything of his. Whenever we talked, it was while we lay in bed together, although more often than not, he had to leave. Every time he'd sit up ready to leave, my stomach would knot, remembering how he was never mine and always something I wanted more of. He always went back to her, and always would.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Martin's words jarring me back to reality and his hands running through my hair. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensual feeling and missing the comfort of a man in my bed.  
  
"Yeah?" I glance into his eyes.  
  
"Are you ok?" I feel him roll onto his side and his body rest against mine.  
  
"Yeah, for the most part," I answer honestly. "I guess I'm just having a hard time moving on."  
  
"From Jack?" He questions with a sigh.  
  
I nod my head, feeling silent tears flow a course down my cheek. I feel Martin's lips on my skin, lapping at my pain and kissing it away. The kisses he plants are soft and friendly, trying not to rouse my desires. I brush my lips against his, wanting to feel needed. It's been too long since someone who really cared for me made love to me. I feel my eyes slipping closed as I wish it were Jack here with me.  
  
"Martin," I whisper out, hearing his name on my tongue, sounding foreign but not awful. I feel his hand trailing along my stomach and his lips moving their way down my neck over the curve of my breasts. "Yes," I breathe out in a moan, my words growing numb as my body regains a feeling I haven't experienced in far too long. His hands do wonders as his lips continue touching and tasting every ounce of me while we're shedding our clothes.  
  
As our bodies become intertwined, I hear his words in my ear, "I love you so much." I bite down on my lip, not knowing what to say in response as I move my lips to his to silence him.  
  
He lies above me, our bodies coated in sweat, our eyes shut. I open mine, feeling him roll off my frame and I move to rest against his naked skin.  
  
We both lie there without words and, in this moment, my mind is clear and at ease.  
  
I pull the sheet snuggly around my body, giving him a soft kiss as I watch him fall asleep. My eyes study his peaceful face and I roll around in bed, careful not to stir him. I still don't feel that I'm over the man I love, but at least there's someone here who loves me. I'm not certain I'm doing the right thing, but I'm not sure what else to do---when the man I love is married and trying to work things out with his wife. 


	14. Chapter 14

I pull the sheet snuggly around my body, giving him a soft kiss as I watch him fall asleep. My eyes study his peaceful face and I roll around in bed, careful not to stir him. I still don't feel that I'm over the man I love, but at least there's someone here who loves me. I'm not certain I'm doing the right thing, but I'm not sure what else to do---when the man I love is married and trying to work things out with his wife.  
  
********  
  
As time continues onward, I glance at the clock and let out a soft yawn. Martin rolls around, his hand moving over my hips as a smile plays on his lips. "We should probably go do something today."  
  
"Any ideas?" I question.  
  
"Lunch," he offers. "Mind if I take a shower here?"  
  
"Not at all," I answer, giving him a soft kiss to his lips. "I might join you."  
  
"You might?" He eyes me. "Come on," he tugs on my hand helping me out of bed and eyeing my body in the process.  
  
"Quit staring," I quip. "You act like you've never seen a naked woman before."  
  
"Not one as gorgeous as you," he answers, pressing a kiss to my lips and pulling me into the bathroom.  
  
"You start the water; I'll be back in a second. Okay?"  
  
"Don't be too long," he answers. I slip out of the bathroom and grab the phone, dialing Jack's cell phone. I consider not doing Jack this favor, but realize it will only hurt him more. I want Jack to be happy and I want him to see me happy with Martin, or least trying to be. As much as Jack hurt me by what he did, I still love him and likely always will. If I can't be with him, I at least want him to be happy.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"You still want to meet my date for lunch?" I question.  
  
"That's interesting," Jack responds.  
  
"Is Maria there?"  
  
"Yes," he answers. "The case--can you have it done by noon and faxed over?"  
  
"You're such a horrible liar," I counter. "Noon works here for lunch. How about the corner of Madison?" I suggest. "We've been there; it's an Italian Restaurant."  
  
"You can. That sounds good. Thank you," he answers before hanging up.  
  
I make my way into the steam-filled bathroom to join Martin in the shower. I pull back the curtain and step beneath the spray with Martin.  
  
"What I said earlier."  
  
"Yes?" I question.  
  
"About loving you. It wasn't just me saying that in a state of passion, Samantha, I really do." I feel my lips tugging in a smile as I wrap my arms around his neck, and our mouths meet once again.  
  
"I know a great Italian restaurant for lunch," I offer. "It's a quiet, cozy place where we can relax."  
  
"Sounds perfect," Martin responds, moving his mouth to my neck for a playful nip, "just like you."  
  
We finish up in the shower and head into my bedroom to get changed. "You don't have any clean clothes," I point out.  
  
"We can stop at my place before lunch," he offers. I glance down at my watch, seeing we'll have just enough time.  
  
"Alright," I nod with a smile, pulling on a shirt and a pair of jeans. I wear my hair down and it's slightly messy, but I don't care.  
  
After dropping by Martin's, for him to get changed in a fresh pair of clothes, we make our way to the restaurant. We take a small, cozy corner booth, as I feel Martin's hand on my thigh.  
  
"This seems like a nice place," he whispers into my ear.  
  
"Yes," I smile, glancing through the menu before we place our order.  
  
"Have you been here before?" Martin's eyes meet mine and his hand moves the locks of hair from my face, glancing deep into my eyes.  
  
My eyes watch his before glancing down at his lips with a smile.  
  
"Once or twice," I tell him without saying anything more.  
  
"Samantha, Martin," I hear Jack's voice and glance up to see him with his arm around his wife. "This is my wife, Maria."  
  
I smile in response, nodding towards her, as I feel Martin's hand teasing my thigh.  
  
"I didn't realize you two would be here," Jack eyes me intently. "You know you all have the day off?"  
  
"Yes, we're not here on business," Martin corrects him before moving his hand behind my back to visibly allow both Jack and Maria to see the closeness we share.  
  
"That's good," Maria smiles in response as she tugs on Jack's arm and make their way to a table across the dining room. Jack sits facing me, and I feel his eyes burning through mine. Do I see betrayal, anger, hurt, or is it lust?  
  
"How awkward," Martin muses, moving his hand into my hair and brushing it behind my ear. "If you're uncomfortable, we can leave."  
  
"No, don't be silly. Why would I be uncomfortable?" I laugh at the notion but chide myself for agreeing to it. His mouth moves to my ear, gently pressing a soft kiss to my skin. I feel my stomach doing somersaults, as Jack's eyes watch me.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Martin's voice and feel suddenly nauseated.  
  
"Excuse me," I briskly stand up, heading for the bathroom. I push back the door to an open stall and feel as though I'm going to vomit. My head hangs over the toilet as I feel my stomach churning wildly. What the hell was I thinking? Agreeing to back down and let Jack fix his marriage is one thing, but this; I can't do it.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's voice and move towards the sink to run the cold water and splash it along my clammy skin.  
  
"Go back to your wife," I tell him, moving my hand to my forehead as my head hovers above the sink.  
  
"I'm worried about you." I feel his warm hand on my skin and I brush him away.  
  
"Don't," I warn him.  
  
"You look sick. Are you pregnant?" Jack's eyes stare down at me as I turn my head to face him.  
  
"No," I retort abruptly. "I'll be fine," I answer, covering my lips with my hand as I feel my stomach crashing like violent waves.  
  
"Then what is it? You looked fine five minutes ago," he reminds me.  
  
"I'm in love," I answer, turning off the sink water and heading to the door.  
  
"I never knew it could make someone sick," Jack counters as I feel his hand on my wrist, stopping me.  
  
"It does when you can't have the person you want." I slip from his hold and exit out the bathroom door.  
  
"Samantha, is everything all right?" Martin's concerned voice tears at my heart but it doesn't hurt nearly as deep as Jack's words.  
  
"Can you take me home?"  
  
"Sure," Martin asks for the check and in no time we make our way out to the car. I haven't said a word to Martin, and every few minutes he glances my way, worried about me.  
  
"Are you ok?" I hear his soft voice and shake my head no. "What can I do?" he offers.  
  
"Nothing," I answer soundly.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
I nod my head yes as we pull in front of my apartment. "Do you want me to come up with you?"  
  
"Please don't," I answer, unlocking the car door.  
  
"Are you going to be all right?"  
  
"I'll be fine." I step out of the car and gather my keys to unlock the door.  
  
I shut it behind me, feeling my stomach knot. Am I making a mistake by shutting out Martin? He's trying to be a decent guy. I know he cares about me, but I don't have the same feelings he does. Will they come in time, or am I fooling myself?  
  
Why do I have to love someone I can't have and have someone I don't love? Is life always this complicated?  
  
I head into my bedroom, taking a seat on the bed and smelling Martin's scent all over my room. I feel my stomach tense at how any remnants of Jack are now completely gone from my home.  
  
I used to fall asleep at night lying on his pillow, breathing in the lingering scent of Jack Malone. Now it's gone and I'll likely never have it back.  
  
Would I want what I once had, though? Would it be enough for me? I'm not sure it would. I may not want marriage and children right now, but one day I'd like to be open to those things. I'd like to have a chance to have a family. With Jack I don't have those options. The only possibility is he would take me back as his mistress and he would feel guilty about it all over again.  
  
I don't want him to experience guilt when we're together. I want him to be able to stay the night and not shy away when I tell him how I really feel. I want him to embrace it and tell me the same thing. Maybe I'm asking for something I can never have, but it's not something unreasonable, is it?  
  
I lie back against the mattress, sliding between the covers. Martin's a really great guy and I enjoy spending time with him, but I don't feel the same rush I get from Jack. I once thought it was from the job, the affair, and our secret. Now, though, after it was taken away, I realize it was love.  
  
Do I take the chance of being alone the rest of my life because I can't have the man I love? He's married and has vowed to spend the rest of his life with her. Wouldn't it be great if I had that?  
  
I let out a soft sigh. It's not marriage I want so much as a man to spend the night with, and not just any man. Maybe the saying holds true: 'you want what you can't have.' I had him, though, and if only for a second, I'd want him again. I'm not sure I could handle only one second with him, though. Maybe I'm selfish for wanting what I do--for wanting to love someone, and have him love me in return. Maybe I could get over Jack Malone if I knew he was happily married, but after the phone call I received from Maria yesterday, I know that's not the case.  
  
I close my eyes and imagine Jack's hands brushing my hair from my face as he leans down to kiss me. It's been so long since I felt a kiss that meant something and stirred me to the core. Martin knows how to kiss, but the feelings I have for him are mute compared to Jack. Maybe it's because I won't allow myself to let go just yet. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.  
  
I feel myself drifting into a light slumber and hope to dream of Jack at least for a little while. 


	15. Chapter 15

I feel myself drifting into a light slumber and hope to dream of Jack at least for a little while.  
  
******  
  
I roll around, feeling lazy and not wanting to get out of bed. I can't believe the last few days I've had, and I slip out of bed, pattering into the kitchen to grab a snack. I glance down at my cell phone and the icon, reminding me I have a voice mail. I take note of the missed call and see it's Martin. I let out a sigh, slightly depressed that Jack isn't concerned enough to call. Who am I kidding? He's married and probably living it up with Maria right now.  
  
I take a seat on the sofa, snacking on some potato chips as I hear the doorbell. I let out a sigh, contemplating whether or not I should answer it. It's likely Martin coming by to see how I'm doing. I don't want to see him right now; I don't think I can. I'd only be lying to him about how I really feel and that's not right. I don't want to hurt him; I really don't. I'm worried that in the end, though, it'll be him or me hurting.  
  
I apprehensively get up to answer the door. I unlatch the chain and pull back the door. "Jack?" I let out a breath. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm fine, really," I answer.  
  
"I thought earlier at the restaurant might have been the after effects of yesterday and getting hit in the head."  
  
"You don't have to worry about me," I laugh softly.  
  
"Can I come in?" He eyes me and I pull back the door all the way, allowing him to step foot inside my place. "Thanks," he tells me, pulling out a small box from his jacket. "Merry Christmas, Sam."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head no, "I can't accept it."  
  
"I can't very well take it back. I bought it for you last Christmas and never gave it to you," his eyes fall to the floor.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"We promised it was over between us," he reminds me.  
  
"And now?" I question.  
  
"After what you said in the restaurant, I'm going out on a limb here assuming the person you're still in love with is me." He hands me the box. I can only imagine what's inside and let out a soft breath. It's in a jewelry box the size of a ring and I feel my stomach tense.  
  
"You're married," I remind him.  
  
"That doesn't mean I still don't have feelings for you. We don't have to act on them."  
  
"Jack," I whisper out, moving to the sofa to take a seat. I can't decide which is worse---to accept a gift from him and know I can never have him but have the chance of starting up what we did 'have', or never see the gift and push him away further.  
  
"I'm not asking for anything from you."  
  
"Good, because I didn't get you anything," I laugh softly. "Besides, I'm mad at you." I eye him seriously.  
  
"You have a right to be. I should never have asked you to try and fix things with Maria and myself. It's our problem, not yours."  
  
"Not that," I shake my head, biting down on my lower lip. Do I tell Jack what Martin told me in confidence? How can I not?  
  
"Then what?" He eyes me intently.  
  
"You took my file from Lisa's office," I state, crossing my arms defensively. His hands still hold the small box and he shuts his eyes for a second.  
  
"I was worried about you."  
  
"You couldn't come to me? You had to go behind my back?"  
  
"I never meant for you to find out."  
  
"That doesn't make it right," I remind him. "You went beyond what was necessary, Jack; you intentionally hurt me."  
  
"That's not true," he says as he moves closer towards me. His hand reaches up for my face to meet his eyes, but I can't look at him because I know I'll forgive him. "You have no idea the thoughts that were running through my head, Sam."  
  
"You never share anything with me. How would I know what you're thinking?" I point out.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"That's not good enough," I retort. "Why'd you do it?"  
  
"I was worried about you. Lately you seem withdrawn and depressed. I was worried what you might do. When you said you had a date, I grew anxious, Sam. I can't explain it."  
  
"Jealousy?"  
  
"It wasn't that." He puts the small box on the table and takes my hands in his. "I was worried you might do something incredibly rash and hurt yourself."  
  
"Jack, I wouldn't--" He cuts me off with an intense stare. "I couldn't do that to you," I tell him, squeezing his hand softly.  
  
"I also thought maybe it wasn't me that you were having problems with, but some guy. You mentioned you were dating someone and I thought--" he pauses, letting out a soft breath, "I was concerned that you found yourself with someone who was trouble."  
  
"What makes you think that?"  
  
"Your choice in men, Samantha."  
  
"I chose you," I eye him seriously.  
  
"You also chose Kellar and Dr. Fred who, like you once said, were 'busy and unavailable'. I started thinking that maybe you'd find a guy that would cling to you. Then, I became concerned that what if this guy wouldn't let you go. What if he became obsessed and hurt you."  
  
"Jack," I pause, eyeing him intently. "Does this have anything to do with the last case?"  
  
"No, I had these fears before. When you seemed withdrawn, I thought maybe it was because you had changed--and not from the shooting. You seemed all right after that---a little shaken up and antsy---but you were still yourself. It wasn't until later, when your demeanor started to shift, that I was worried a guy you might find yourself with could be like your uncle." Jack's eyes meet mine.  
  
"Jack, I can handle myself," I remind him.  
  
"I know you can," he nods. "I was worried about you. Today, when I saw you with Martin, I should have felt relieved."  
  
"But?"  
  
"You weren't the only one that felt sick in that restaurant," he answers.  
  
"What am I supposed to do? Break up with Martin because you have unresolved issues?"  
  
"I'm not the only one, Samantha," his eyes bore into mine.  
  
I'm quiet, considering what there is to do or say. "Jack, I love you. I told you that almost two years ago, and you shut me out. How is that supposed to make me feel? I was willing to give you a second chance, and a third, because I needed what you had to offer. I felt lonely without you, but now the thought of us having an affair makes me feel sick."  
  
"I'm not here for that," he tells me.  
  
"That what are you here for?" I eye him as he hands me the small box.  
  
"To give this to you, and tell you I've always loved you. I've been too afraid of what the words would do to you."  
  
"What am I supposed to do?" I eye him and then the wrapped package.  
  
"Open it," he whispers. I let out a breath, holding back tears as I rip at the paper and open the small jewelry box to reveal a pair of hearts, a charm to fit on a necklace. "I wanted you to put it on the gold chain I gave you."  
  
"I can't," I shake my head. "You're married, Jack. This gift should be for your wife."  
  
"I love you," he reaffirms. "Even if I can't be with you, I wanted you to have this."  
  
"You're not making this any easier," I whisper, shutting the box tightly.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Please go," I tell him with eyes shut and tears falling on my cheeks.  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"Then what do you want? Please tell me, Jack," I eye him with pain and heartache, as I see his own sadness.  
  
"I want to be with you. I want what we had."  
  
"I can't," I shake my head no. "I want more than that, and you can't give it to me, can you?" My eyes perk up, just slightly hoping he'll say yes.  
  
"I'm married, Samantha," he reminds me.  
  
"I know," I nod. "I can't be with a married man anymore. I love you, Jack-- -I probably always will---but I want more than what you can offer me. One day I might want a family, and I can't be in a relationship where that possibility doesn't exist."  
  
"I can't leave her, Sam."  
  
"I'm not asking you to," I tell him, handing him the closed box and pushing it into his hands before closing his grip over it. "I'm not asking you to choose; I never have. I'm doing it for you. Go home, to your daughters and your wife."  
  
"What about you?" His eyes meet mine.  
  
"I don't know," I answer sadly. "I guess I'll continue to see Martin because, in all honesty, I can't hurt him like you've hurt me."  
  
"Sam," his voice holds pain behind the way he whispers out my name.  
  
"I don't love him, Jack. Not now anyways, but I didn't love you the first time we were together."  
  
"I did," he answers softly, his eyes holding my gaze. "I'm sorry I let you go."  
  
"You never had me. Not really," I remind him.  
  
"That's not true," he counters.  
  
"It is," I nod my head with tears taking in a breath to hide them from him. "If things were different, Jack, just maybe I'd be willing to give us another chance. I can't hurt Martin and myself, to save you."  
  
"I would never ask that," he moves his hand to my cheek, wiping away my tears. My eyes glance away, not wanting him to see the pain I've been carrying with me. "You know I love you."  
  
"It's too late to be sentimental," I whisper. "You should go home and be with your family. You rarely have time off, Jack, so spend it with them."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"I'll manage on my own. I can always call Martin," I laugh softly.  
  
"You're only kidding yourself."  
  
"What else am I supposed to do?" I eye him seriously. "I've been told more than once I should move on, and why shouldn't I? I may love you, Jack, but I can't be with you---not really."  
  
"What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Nothing," I shake my head, feeling the tears dry and a sad smile playing on my lips. "You're married with two children and that's right where you should be. I was never supposed to come into your life. It wasn't meant to be."  
  
"You don't believe that."  
  
"I have to," I answer, "or else I don't think I could live another moment this way." I stand up, moving towards the window as I feel more tears creeping up on me. "Please go," I whisper, hearing Jack's footsteps come up behind me to place the box on the ledge of the windowsill.  
  
"Merry Christmas," he whispers before stepping out the door.  
  
I break down into sobs as he leaves and I fall to the floor in a heap. Why do I put myself through such torment? Is Jack really worth it? It's obvious he won't ever leave his wife and if he did, he'd feel guilty for all of eternity.  
  
I pull myself to the sofa, wiping my eyes and trying to think of what good can come of this. I feel hopelessly lost and groan out in agony. I'd have been happier if Jack didn't stop by, at least then I wouldn't feel what I'm feeling---love.  
  
I finger the jewel of two hearts welded as one and shut the box. I can't wear this, even if I wanted to. It would only bring about suspicion. I patter my way into my bedroom, with the box in hand. I open up my small wooden jewelry box and then the gift from Jack. I place it between my fingers, giving it a soft kiss because I can't kiss the man I love, and put it away for safe keeping. Maybe one day, in a world where pain ceases to exist, I'll be able to take it out.  
  
I grab my cell phone, dialing Martin and let out a soft breath as he picks up. 


	16. Chapter 16

I grab my cell phone, dialing Martin and let out a soft breath as he picks up.  
  
******  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Martin," I whisper, taking a seat on my sofa and curling up to get comfortable.  
  
"I was worried about you. Did you get my message?"  
  
"I saw you called; I didn't listen to it yet, though. I'm sorry I ran out on you earlier." I bite down on my lip as I shut my eyes. I love Jack and I might always love him, but if he's sworn to a life with Maria and his children, what other choice do I have but to move on?  
  
"It's all right," he laughs softly. "You doing better?"  
  
"Yeah, I just needed some rest," I answer with a sad smile playing on my lips.  
  
"Do you want me to come by and pick you up for dinner?"  
  
"No," I shout abruptly. "Sorry," I whisper, "I'd rather just stay in for the night."  
  
"Oh," Martin sounds disappointed, and it breaks my heart more so now than ever.  
  
"How about tomorrow night?" I quip, "although I was thinking we could see a movie maybe."  
  
"A movie?" Martin repeats aloud. "Yeah, that sounds good," he pauses and a quiet moment passes between us on the phone. "Are you sure you're ok?"  
  
"Yeah," I whisper. I close my tired eyes and lie back on the sofa. "Martin?"  
  
"Yeah, Samantha?"  
  
"Can we take things slow between us?"  
  
"Of course." I can imagine the look on his face by the sound in his voice. He's not sure what to make of my words, and truth is neither am I. "You sound tired. Do you want me to let you go?"  
  
"No," I whisper. "Talk to me." Make me forget my pain.  
  
"Okay. What do you want to talk about?" I can hear him shifting around, probably taking a seat to make himself comfortable.  
  
"Tell me about when you were a kid."  
  
"Samantha, you don't want to hear that."  
  
"Sure I do," I answer, figuring his childhood had to have been spectacular compared to my own.  
  
"It's more of a conversation we should have in person, not over the phone."  
  
"Oh," I whisper with a sigh. "Okay then, you pick the topic."  
  
"Your first kiss."  
  
"Martin, you are such a guy," I shake my head with a laugh.  
  
"No. I didn't ask who your first was."  
  
"Oh, but you're getting there," I point out. He laughs softly and there's a quiet silence between us. "Dylan," I whisper. "We were in the fifth grade and I was cold, so he offered me his coat. In return I gave him a kiss."  
  
"Awww," Martin laughs softly.  
  
"Your turn to share."  
  
"I was certainly much older than you."  
  
"How old?" I question.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"You've got me curious."  
  
"I was in the 12th grade, you do the math."  
  
"And?" I probe.  
  
"I had a huge crush on her. We all went camping together; our families were friends and we hung out for quite some time. She was a little older than I was and certainly more experienced. She ended up cornering me our last night there. I didn't just have my first kiss." He tells me.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"I didn't do that," he corrects me. "We fooled around, but it was mostly innocent."  
  
"Sure it was," I tease him.  
  
"So what about you, Samantha?"  
  
"What about me?" My eyes widen.  
  
"When was your first time?"  
  
"Oh no," I shake my head. "We're not having this conversation! I told you it would lead right there, and sure enough." I hear Martin laughing and can feel a smile playing on my lips.  
  
"Come on, Samantha. I'll tell you anything you want to know, and I don't offer that to just anyone."  
  
"It's not a story you want to hear," I whisper.  
  
"Why not?" he questions.  
  
"It doesn't have a happy ending."  
  
"Breakups usually don't," he responds softly.  
  
"It's not that," I answer. "We fooled around one day when my mom wasn't home. My Uncle Marcus moved in a few years before and, of course, he came home early and caught us in bed together. He was outraged, hit me across the face and called me a whore," I whisper.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Martin's soft voice. "You're not."  
  
"I know," I answer. "I ran away that night. I wanted to get as far away from that house as possible," I pause, "until I saw my mother looking for me. I realized that life was worth living. I didn't speak with my uncle after that, and my mother didn't understand. She was angry with me; I suppose that's why I rebelled by marrying the guy when I was eighteen."  
  
"It didn't last?" he questions, already knowing the answer.  
  
"No," I laugh softly. "He was marrying me to get away from his family too. Once we were eighteen and on our own, we realized we didn't really need each other any longer. Things didn't work out and I suppose it was for the best."  
  
"It was," Martin tells me soundly.  
  
"Thanks," I whisper.  
  
"I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't realize."  
  
"It's fine," I answer softly. "You wouldn't have known. I've hardly told anyone that story."  
  
"It's your turn."  
  
"What?" I question, slightly confused.  
  
"You answered what I wanted to know. I told you that after you did, I'd answer any question you wanted to know."  
  
"Oh---right," I nod my head, shifting the phone to my other ear.  
  
"So?" he inquires. "What will it be? Past girlfriends, family, schooling, college-life?"  
  
"How about," I pause, thinking of how to word my question, "why do you think you're in love with me?"  
  
I hear his breath catch in his throat and can imagine him trying to come up with an answer I want to hear.  
  
"You want my honest response?"  
  
"That's what I was going for," I answer with a laugh.  
  
"You are the most beautiful, caring, and expressive woman I know."  
  
"So, if you met someone else, then you'd fall in love with her just as easily?" I quip.  
  
"Samantha," his voice grows louder, telling me to listen to him. "I never believed in love at first sight, but the moment I saw you at the office, I just knew," he lets out a soft breath of air.  
  
Strangely enough, the answer he's given me is sweet and makes me smile sadly, but it does nothing to fill the empty void in my life.  
  
"Why wouldn't anyone love you?" he questions.  
  
I let out a soft breath, rolling onto my side and wiping the few stray tears that have fallen.  
  
"Yeah," I breathe out, thinking of Jack and how he loves me but chooses to be with his wife. What kind of love is that?  
  
"You sound sad," he pauses, waiting for my answer.  
  
"I am," I tell him, closing my eyes as I feel a few more tears falling their way down past my cheeks.  
  
"Why?" he questions.  
  
"It's just--" I pause, contemplating how much to tell him without hurting him. "The past few months have been so emotional," I let out a soft sigh, "sometimes I wonder if I can do this job and still be me."  
  
"It's okay to change."  
  
"No," I shake my head. "These cases haunt me more then ever lately, and I haven't had that in awhile. Usually it's the bad ones---the disappearance of children or other atrocities."  
  
"But?"  
  
"The last couple have left me stunned and feeling vulnerable."  
  
"It's okay to feel something, you know," he pauses before continuing. "When you saw Lisa, did you talk with her about all this?"  
  
"Yes," I breathe out, nodding my head. "She isn't much help, though; she just listens to what I have to say. Truth is, sometimes I don't feel comfortable answering the questions she asks."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
I let out a breath. "You're becoming like her."  
  
"Sorry," he grimaces. "I'm doubting Lisa will be back soon after what happened to her and her daughter. Do you think you'll see someone else?"  
  
"I don't know," I pause. "I haven't really thought about it."  
  
"You know I'm always here."  
  
"Yeah--thanks," I whisper. "Listen I should go," I tell him, wanting to end this conversation because it's taken a turn for the worse. I see it heading there already.  
  
"If it's any conciliation, Samantha, I know what you're going through. I've been there myself."  
  
"Yeah--thanks, Martin."  
  
"All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah," I whisper before hanging up.  
  
I feel slightly better after talking to Martin. Even though our conversation wasn't the ideal one, it was at least a start to something. I shrug at the notion of anything with Martin. We're friends; it seems weird to be anything more---although I've always known he likes me. Besides, isn't it good to be friends first with a guy? Isn't that how a long- term relationship starts and has potential for lasting, or at least ideally?  
  
I roll around on the sofa, lying on my stomach and resting my head on a couch pillow. Why do I still have these sexual and emotional feelings for Jack Malone? If they would just go away, then maybe I could move on. Would I want to, though? Would I be happy without the one man I love? Truth is, he's the first man I've ever really loved. Before it was lust and teenage fantasies, never about what Jack and I had or shared for even a brief time.  
  
I hear a brief knocking on the door and I let out a sigh, wondering who it could be. 


	17. Chapter 17

I hear a brief knocking on the door and I let out a sigh, wondering who it could be.  
  
*******  
  
I carefully pull back the door to reveal a young girl in her late teens, early twenties. Her hair is dark and matted down with a hat pulled snuggly around her head. "I'm looking for my Aunt Carol," she tells me, carrying a book bag over her shoulder. Her skin looks dirty, as though she hasn't showered in days and her eyes cry out in pain.  
  
"I'm sorry, you have the wrong address," I answer.  
  
"I can't," she shakes her head, her eyes turning red with tears as she shivers from the cold.  
  
"Come in," I offer her, opening the door to the young woman.  
  
"I shouldn't," she eyes me warily.  
  
"I'm an FBI Agent," I offer her, turning my back and heading towards the kitchen where I left my badge. "See," I hand it to her as she observes it.  
  
"Maybe you can help me," she whispers with a sigh, carefully stepping through the front door but not moving more then two feet away.  
  
"You're looking for your aunt?" I repeat.  
  
"Yes," she nods steadily. "Last time I saw her, she lived here."  
  
"When was that?"  
  
"Five, maybe six years ago," she shrugs. "My mom wasn't close to her sister," she tells me, "but now that she passed away, I needed someplace to stay until I get my feet off the ground."  
  
"What's Carol's last name?"  
  
"Hunter," she lets out a soft sigh. "I know it's pretty generic; you'll probably never find her."  
  
"I work for the Missing Persons Unit of the FBI," I smile reassuringly. "If anyone can find your aunt, I can."  
  
"Thank you," she whispers sadly, her eyes telling me she's been through more pain than she shares.  
  
"If you'd like, you're more then welcome to stay the night here," I offer. "I have a spare bedroom. It doesn't look like you've eaten much either. I can order in a pizza?"  
  
"That would be great," she smiles thankfully.  
  
"I never got your name," I put out my hand to shake it firmly.  
  
"Eva Hunter," she answers.  
  
"Nice to meet you Eva," I smile reassuringly at her. "I'm Samantha Spade."  
  
"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" She eyes my apartment.  
  
"Not at all." I offer to take her bag while I show her the door.  
  
"Is it all right if I shower? I'm kind of grungy," she glances down at her clothes.  
  
"No problem at all. I can give you a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that should fit. You're about my size."  
  
"Thanks," she smiles shyly towards me before slipping inside the bathroom.  
  
I rummage through my drawers, pulling out some clothes for Eva to choose from. "They're outside the bathroom door," I knock gently, letting her know it's there before heading down to the kitchen to call for dinner.  
  
I take a seat at the kitchen table, letting out a soft sigh. I grab the phone, debating whom I should call to let them know what's going on. I dial Jack's cell phone and wait for him to pick up. His voice sounds gruff, "Malone," he answers abruptly.  
  
"Jack, it's me."  
  
"Is everything all right?"  
  
"Yeah," I let out a soft breath. "There's a young girl that came by my apartment tonight. She's looking for her aunt because her mother died."  
  
"How old?"  
  
"I don't know; she's at least eighteen though."  
  
"Then what's the problem?" Jack questions.  
  
"I'm offering her a place to stay. I thought I could look into it tomorrow."  
  
"You know the offices are closed," he reminds me with a sigh. "Besides you should be on vacation with the rest of us."  
  
"And what about this girl?" I whisper.  
  
"I'll look into it," he offers. "What's her name?"  
  
"Eva Hunter," I answer. "Her aunt used to live at my apartment and her first name is Carol. Same last name."  
  
"I'll see what I can do," he answers. "In the meantime, are you sure you're ok with having her stay there, or would you rather get a hotel room for her? You can charge it to the bureau," he offers.  
  
"I can put her up for the weekend."  
  
"All right, Sam. Give me an update if anything comes up, and be careful," he warns me.  
  
"I am." I hang up the phone, and glance down the hall to see Eva emerging in clean clothes, looking fresh.  
  
"Thanks," she smiles, running a towel through her dark curls.  
  
"Feel any better?"  
  
"As good as I can," she shrugs, taking a seat across from me.  
  
"I called my boss, Jack Malone, and he's agreed to try and find your aunt. You're more than welcome to stay here in the meantime."  
  
"And what if we don't find her?"  
  
"We will," I smile reassuringly. "So where's your stuff?"  
  
"That's all I have left," she glances towards the book bag that's on the sofa. "I sold everything else of mine to get bus fare," she lets out a breath and shuts her eyes.  
  
"What about your father?" I question. "Where's he?"  
  
"I don't know," she shrugs with a sigh. "I've never met the man. I'm not even sure my mother told him about me." She lets out a breath. "I was living with my mom during the summer and was supposed to go back to college in the fall, except," she pauses, her eyes trailing out the window, "she grew sick and the medical expenses outweighed the chance for me to finish. I stayed by her, and look where it got me."  
  
"Your mother didn't notify anyone before she died?"  
  
"She wasn't all there," Eva answers with a sigh. "The cancer ate away at her, and I thought I could manage on my own. I tried for the first month, but then the hospital bills were still coming and I couldn't survive any longer. I sold everything we had to keep myself out of debt, but I lost the apartment we were staying in. I figured I'd come to New York to find my aunt. I was hoping she'd be willing to put me up while I found a job and, if not," she pauses with a sigh, "then I'd find myself a roommate and hope I wouldn't be too much of a burden."  
  
"I'm sorry about your mother," I tell her, resting my hands above hers.  
  
"Thank you," she nods her head, tears falling down her cheeks. "It was so hard," she tells me, "watching the pain eat away at her. I almost couldn't bear to look at her, but I had to. I wanted to be there for her and now," her voice cracks, "I've failed her."  
  
"No you haven't," I answer her. "How old are you? To have that kind of burden--"  
  
She cuts me off, "Twenty."  
  
"When I was twenty I wasn't that much better off. You'll make it, though," I reassure her. "I didn't think I ever would and now," I glance around my place, "it isn't so bad."  
  
I hear the doorbell and stand up to pay the bill and grab the food. I bring it over to the table and watch as Eva swallows her food, chomping it down like she hasn't eaten in days.  
  
"Good," she smiles at me, finishing up, and following me to the sofa. She shivers from the cold and I offer her a blanket, trying to make her comfortable. "Thanks," she tells me, curling up on the sofa and watching me, as I turn on the TV.  
  
"What is it?" I glance towards her.  
  
"Do you do this for everyone?"  
  
"No," I shake my head with a laugh, imagining how many families would still be here if that were the case.  
  
"But you find those that are lost?" She questions.  
  
"That's what I'm paid to do."  
  
"How often do you find them alive?"  
  
"Never often enough," I answer with sad eyes.  
  
"You want to tell me about it?" She sits up, interested in my FBI adventures.  
  
"I'd love to, but I can't."  
  
"Ahhh," she nods, "the life of a secret agent."  
  
"I'm not a secret agent," I point out. "If I were, I wouldn't have told you."  
  
"True," she nods with a soft breath. A minute or two passes before her eyes bounce around the room to my hand. "You're not married," she states the obvious.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Boyfriend?"  
  
"I'm not sure I want to be having this conversation."  
  
"Oh come on," she slides down onto the sofa, her feet stopping at my legs as she curls herself comfortably. "I can't be the only virgin left in New York," Eva laughs softly. "Indulge me a little."  
  
"Eva," my eyes widen with a laugh, as I shake my head no.  
  
"Oh come on," she pleads with me. "I'd share my stories with you, but I don't have any."  
  
"There isn't much to tell," I answer with a smile playing on my lips.  
  
"Not much to tell?" She repeats with a laugh, her eyes watching mine. "Not much you want to tell, or not much to tell at all?"  
  
"Oh, there's plenty to tell, but you're twenty," I point out.  
  
"Oh, whatever," Eva rolls her eyes and sits up slightly annoyed. "Come on, I told you about my family."  
  
"Maybe tomorrow," I offer, shutting off the television and standing up. "I'm going to head to bed. I can show you where the guestroom is. Then you can stay out here, if you'd like to watch TV for a little while longer."  
  
"I'm about ready for bed anyhow." Eva stands, folding the blanket before laying it on the sofa. She follows me back down the hall to the spare bedroom that's filled with a bookshelf, a computer and a spare bed. "Thanks again, Sam."  
  
"Samantha," I correct her with a smile. "Get some sleep; we'll have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."  
  
"All right." I close her bedroom door and head towards my own. I lock my door and put my cell phone on the night table. I put my gun away for safe keeping, making sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, just in case.  
  
I grab a pair of pajamas to slip on before crawling into bed. I let out a sigh, remembering I still have a date with Martin for tomorrow, but I'll also likely talk to Jack about Eva. How will Martin respond to the news? Will he overreact and think I'm wrong, by letting her into my home? I remember being her age---afraid of the world, the city, and the act of responsibility. I barely made it on my own, and I would have given anything to have had someone support me and help me out, even if for a short time.  
  
I close my eyes and fall victim to sleep. 


	18. Chapter 18

I close my eyes and fall victim to sleep.  
  
*********  
  
I hear my cell phone ringing and I roll around, reaching for it with my eyes shut. "Spade," I answer.  
  
"I wanted to see how you made out last night," Jack tells me.  
  
"Fine so far. I just woke up. Thank you very much."  
  
"It's ten-thirty."  
  
"I'd have slept till eleven, if you hadn't called." I point out.  
  
"I did a background check on Eva, and she's clean. I'm still waiting for any information on past owners for your apartment complex. They're faxing over anything they have."  
  
"You know I could have done that," I remind him.  
  
"Consider it another Christmas gift," he chuckles softly.  
  
"Thanks, Jack."  
  
"I'll call you back this afternoon, or if I find something sooner."  
  
"All right." I hang up the phone and head out to the living room to see Eva on the couch watching TV.  
  
"Who was that?" she eyes me curiously.  
  
"My boss."  
  
"Oh," Eva's eyes light up and I can't hide the smile playing on my lips.  
  
"He's looking into the whereabouts of your aunt," I answer. "I'm going to grab some cereal. You want anything?"  
  
"I already helped myself," she answers, turning her head back to the TV.  
  
I shake my head with a laugh, amazed at how comfortable she's become in my apartment overnight.  
  
After I finish eating, I head down the hall. "I'm going to take a quick shower. When I get done, we can go out. Let me know what you want to do." I shut the bedroom door and make my way into the bathroom.  
  
I run the water and slip out of my clothes. I hear the phone ringing and let out a sigh, figuring the answering machine will pick it up. I take a fairly quick shower and once I finish, I pull on a robe and head to the living room to check my messages.  
  
I glance over towards the phone to see Eva chatting away. I eye her curiously as she hands me the phone. "It's for you," she states with a satisfied grin.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Samantha," I hear Martin's voice and quickly take the phone and turn my back to Eva. "Are we still on for tonight? Or do you have company that I should know about?"  
  
"Just giving someone a place to crash," I answer. "Um tonight?" I cringe and toss the idea around in my head. "You want to spend it over here, watching a movie or something?"  
  
"I thought I would get to take you out?"  
  
"It's still a date," I answer with a nervous laugh.  
  
"All right, but next time we're going out. I won't take no for an answer," he laughs softly.  
  
"Can you get here around eight?" I question.  
  
"At night?"  
  
"Yeah," I laugh with a wicked grin. "Bring clothes and a toothbrush."  
  
"Samantha," his voice catches in his throat, "I thought we were going to take things slow."  
  
"That doesn't mean I don't want to have you over for the night," I tease and glance around to see Eva with a huge grin on her face. "See you at eight?"  
  
"Yes," he croaks out, and I hang up the phone.  
  
"So who's this Martin guy?"  
  
"Someone I work with."  
  
"He's not your boss, is he? Because that's just evil."  
  
"No," I nod towards her. "My boss is married. Martin is one of my colleagues, we're just friends."  
  
Eva laughs with amusement, "Friends? Like I haven't heard that line before," she shakes her head. "You're more than friends."  
  
"No," I shake my head softly, the smile on my lips fading away.  
  
"Why not? He's definitely into you."  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"I just spent the past twenty minutes on the phone with the man," she eyes me intently. "I wouldn't have answered, but he started leaving this really sweet message on the machine, and I had to find out more about who he was. Sorry," she grimaces.  
  
"What'd he say?" I take a seat beside her, curious as ever.  
  
"He mentioned that you two work together, and I told him about my aunt. He seemed really sweet and caring, very genuine."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"He wanted to know why I was over. So I told him the truth. He also started to become concerned and interrogate me. It was fun," she grins and licks her lips. "We finally got to talking about you."  
  
"And?"  
  
"He really seems to like you. He's worried you're not over a certain someone else. He wouldn't divulge who, but I have a feeling it's tearing him up inside."  
  
"It's doing the same to me."  
  
"Well, who do you love?" Eva whispers.  
  
I shake my head no, "The man I'm not supposed to."  
  
"This other guy? Does he not reciprocate?"  
  
"No, he does."  
  
"So, what's the problem?"  
  
"He's married," I answer with a slight frown.  
  
"Bummer," she pauses and lets out a breath, "--so why won't he divorce her?"  
  
"He's got kids and, besides, I think he's afraid of the ramifications of divorce---what it'll mean to him."  
  
"As in being a failure?" she questions. "You've told him he's not, right?"  
  
"Do you think it matters to him what I say?" I eye her to end the conversation now.  
  
"So what movie are we watching tonight?" Eva's smile widens.  
  
"What'd you have in mind?" I eye Eva. "We can stop by the video store tonight."  
  
"Oh sounds good," her eyes light up as she sits up on the sofa. "Thanks for letting me crash with you, Samantha."  
  
I nod my head. "Yeah I know how hard it can be," I answer. "Listen, you want to get out for a few hours? I'm sure there's a few things you could use."  
  
"Yeah, although I don't have any money," she grimaces.  
  
"I'll cover it," I remind her, gently placing my hand on her shoulder, "but when you become rich and famous, don't forget about me, ok?"  
  
"I won't," she smiles softly, standing up and I grab some cash before we head out.  
  
We finish shopping to get the things we need and we stop off at the nearby video store, browsing through the aisles to decide what movies to rent for the night.  
  
"Do you have popcorn?" Eva questions, glancing through the lists of titles.  
  
"Of course. We can stop by the grocery store on the way home if you want to get any other snack food."  
  
"I don't plan on being with you that long," she emphasizes.  
  
"I know," I nod. "It'd be nice, though, if you found some food you like munching on."  
  
"Oh, your cabinets are filled with plenty I'll eat," Eva grins in response.  
  
We grab a couple movies and make our way to a small restaurant uptown. It's not incredibly expensive, but it's certainly nicer then eating pizza again. After we finish eating, we make our way into the car and head back to my place.  
  
"Thanks again for everything, Samantha. You're like the big sister I never had."  
  
I glance over towards Eva, seeing her eyes sparkle with tears. I'm not sure what to say, if anything at all. We pull up in front of my place and head inside. She quietly heads back towards the bathroom and I allow her some privacy, as I glance towards the clock and see that Martin will be here within the hour.  
  
I patter around my living room, feeling slightly anxious, but I'm not sure why. I pick up my cell phone, dialing the one person I can think of to call. 


	19. Chapter 19

I patter around my living room, feeling slightly anxious, but I'm not sure why. I pick up my cell phone, dialing the one person I can think of to call.  
  
********  
  
"Hello?" I hear his warm voice and immediately smile.  
  
"Hey, it's me," I answer. "Did you find anything on Eva's aunt?" I question.  
  
"Nothing you want to hear," Jack answers me. "I was going to stop by tonight to tell Eva, so you wouldn't have to."  
  
"Tell her what?" I whisper, feeling my stomach knot.  
  
"Carol Hunter died nearly three years ago," he tells me. "Apparently she was murdered."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Seems her ex-husband roughed her up, at least the previous records show that. Although the murder charge on the ex was never substantiated---he had an alibi."  
  
"Don't they all?" I breathe out.  
  
"Aside from this ex-husband, there's no other family I could track down, unless she can give you another name," Jack answers me.  
  
"I'm doubting it." I let out a sigh and shut my eyes momentarily. "What am I supposed to do?" I whisper aloud.  
  
"There's nothing more for you to do. She's over eighteen and old enough to fend for herself," Jack reminds me.  
  
"I realize that."  
  
"Don't go trying to be the mother you never had, Sam. You'll only hurt yourself," he warns me softly. I know he's trying to look out for me, but I don't need him doing that.  
  
"Jack, I have to go," I answer bluntly, hanging up the phone and feeling my eyes burn with tears. I see Eva making her way down the hall towards me and I let out a breath, allowing my eyes to dry and my thoughts to settle. I realize I have to give Eva the bad news, and I don't want to be upset while doing that.  
  
"Samantha, what's wrong?" She immediately picks up on it and comes to sit down beside me. "Is it Martin? Is he not coming?"  
  
"No," I shake my head, moving my hands over hers. "I spoke with the other agent who was looking into where your aunt is. Eva, she died three years ago."  
  
"What?" Her eyes hold terror and fear, as she shakes her head no. Her breathing quickens and I realize she's having a panic attack.  
  
"It's okay." I move closer, putting my hand on her shoulder to comfort her.  
  
"How is it going to be okay? Your family isn't dead."  
  
"I haven't seen mine in years," I answer softly, " so they might as well be." I let out a soft sigh. "I'm here for you, Eva. You'll have to get a job and try to make it on your own, but for a month or so I'll help you out."  
  
"No," she shakes her head, standing up briskly. "I don't need your charity."  
  
"Eva." My hand moves to her arm as she turns around to face me. "If you leave now, where are you going to go?"  
  
She's quiet, her mind racing with the possibilities or perhaps excuses.  
  
"Stay the night," I offer. "It won't hurt either one of us."  
  
"You have Martin coming over," she reminds me, her eyes wide, as she wipes her tears away. "I can't stay and be an imposition."  
  
"You're not," I reassure her. "First thing Monday morning, you're going to fill out some job applications."  
  
"I planned on doing that."  
  
"You can stay here as a roommate," I offer her, "but it's a temporary arrangement, until you find someone else your own age. Okay?"  
  
She nods her head and her red-rimmed eyes have dried. "What about Martin?" she muses.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"Won't he want to stay?"  
  
"He'll be in my bed," I tease. "There's plenty of room for three under this roof."  
  
She laughs softly, feeling slightly more at ease. She follows me back towards the sofa, resting her head on my shoulder. "Do you know how Carol died?"  
  
"I don't have all the details but it was a homicide that remains unsolved," I tell her honestly.  
  
"I bet it was my uncle."  
  
"Her ex-husband?" I question.  
  
"Yeah," she nods. "He's the reason my mother and I kept away from Aunt Carol. Besides him being abusive, I saw him hit on my mother on more than one occasion, and I get this sick feeling like he might have done something a long time ago. There was this look he use to get in his eyes that would make me want to run to the bathroom and vomit."  
  
Eva buries her eyes in my shoulder and I move my hand into her hair, soothing her.  
  
"Did you ever tell anyone?"  
  
"Who?" She eyes me sadly. "No one else in our family would have believed me. I was just a child."  
  
"Did your mom and you ever talk about it?"  
  
"She told me not to be left in the room alone with him. She made sure of it, and then decided it would be better if she ceased all contact with him."  
  
"Probably a wise decision."  
  
"Yeah, I didn't realize how much so until now."  
  
"I'm sorry about your mother, and your aunt," I offer her.  
  
"I know, and thanks for everything you've done. I just feel awful staying with you."  
  
"I know," I laugh softly. "You want to be independent. Eva, there's nothing wrong with accepting help from someone."  
  
She nods her head and shuts her eyes for a few minutes. "Is it all right if I go lie down?"  
  
"Of course," I answer, watching as she heads off, and minutes later I hear someone knocking on the door.  
  
"Hey Samantha," Martin greets me with a small bouquet of flowers, handing them to me as I open the door to him. "What's wrong?" Immediately he senses something's not right, and I place the flowers on the kitchen table while he shuts the door.  
  
I feel his body behind me, and his hands moving around my waist. "It's been a long day," I answer.  
  
"Eva?" He whispers into my ear and I nod my head, feeling tears slip down my cheeks. His hand moves to my shoulder, trying to turn me around in his grip. I allow my body to follow his leads but bury my head in his chest, so he doesn't see the weakness in me.  
  
"Did she say or do something."  
  
"No," I let out a breath. "Jack called with the news that her aunt was murdered roughly three years ago."  
  
"Oh," Martin's eyes widen from shock as he pulls back to look at my face. I wipe my eyes but stare down at his chest, not letting his gaze meet mine.  
  
"I offered for her to stay with me, until she can manage on her own. I wouldn't think it'd be more then a month or two."  
  
"That's a long time to keep a guest."  
  
"I know," I whisper, "but I can't let her go out on her own. She has nowhere to sleep. What other choice do I really have?"  
  
"I'll support whatever you decide, Samantha, but I don't agree with it."  
  
I let out an aggravated breath, breaking his hold from me. I move towards the sofa, putting my feet up so there's no room for Martin to sit next to me.  
  
"Don't be mad with me," Martin whispers, his words sounding filled with regret. He bends down, his height equal with mine as he tries to meet my gaze. "What do you want me to do?" he questions.  
  
"Nothing," I shake my head, glancing at the wall.  
  
"Samantha, don't be this way."  
  
"What way am I supposed to be?" My eyes stare down at his.  
  
"Maybe I should go." He stands up and I feel more tears breaking through the barrier. I grab Martin's wrist, pulling him back towards me.  
  
"I'm sorry," I whisper, feeling more tears slide down my cheeks. "I've just been through so much lately."  
  
"You want to talk about it?" he offers, moving to sit beside me.  
  
"I can't," I shake my head no.  
  
"You know I'm here, if you ever need to talk," his eyes meet mine.  
  
"I know," I smile softly, trying to reassure him. My tears have all dried and I feel his arms enveloping me in a hug.  
  
I hear the door and let out a soft breath, curious who would be stopping by. 


	20. Chapter 20

I hear the door and let out a soft breath, curious who would be stopping by.  
  
****  
  
"Jack?" My eyes are wide and slightly confused, as I see him standing outside my door.  
  
"I'm sorry about my behavior over the phone," he tells me, his body within inches of mine. I let out a breath, and open the door.  
  
"Come in," I offer. "Martin's over," I nod towards him and both men exchange glances.  
  
"Maybe I should have called first," he retreads his steps.  
  
"It's fine," I answer. "Is that all you came over here for---to apologize?"  
  
"No, I was thinking about Eva, and wondering where her father is."  
  
"No one knows who he is," I answer. Jack moves towards the kitchen, uncomfortable with Martin being in the same room.  
  
"DNA test?"  
  
"I haven't asked to run her DNA," I state. "I didn't want to involve the father, if he doesn't want to be a part of her life."  
  
"Maybe he doesn't know," Jack points out, his eyes boring into mine.  
  
I hear Eva's footsteps and she glances between both men.  
  
"Hi," she smiles with a yawn, eyeing me.  
  
"Eva, this is Jack and Martin," I introduce everyone. Martin moves towards the kitchen to see what we're all talking about.  
  
"You've never met your father or know who he is?" Jack questions. Eva takes a seat at the kitchen table and we all sit around it like meeting at the conference table at the Bureau.  
  
"No," Eva lets out a sigh. "My mother told me not to ask questions about him; that was all she ever said. She'd grow angry and upset when I'd ask, and so I learned not to."  
  
"Do you have a problem with us running a DNA test on you? Maybe we'll be able to track down your father," Jack points out.  
  
Eva looks towards me warily. "I suppose it's all right." She lets out a breath. "If you think you can find him."  
  
"It's worth a shot," Martin muses.  
  
"Eva, first thing Monday morning we'll take you down to our lab and have the tests run. It won't take but a few minutes to do. We'll let you know if we find out anything," Jack tells her.  
  
She nods and then glances towards the television. "Can we turn on the movie now?"  
  
"I should go." Jack stands up first, his eyes go from Martin to his bag sitting on the floor to mine. He heads for the door, making his way out before I have a chance to say or do anything to stop him.  
  
I hear Eva moving towards the living room and see her putting the movie in. Martin's already stood up and is waiting for me to join him. I let out a resigned sigh, slightly depressed that Jack's gone. I have to get over him, though. He has a family and a wife he's going home to. I don't want to think how that sentence ends--with what I don't have.  
  
I take a seat beside Martin and close my eyes for a brief second. I notice the room growing dark and open my eyes to see Eva turning off the lights, and turning the television up.  
  
Martin's arm moves behind me, drawing me closer to him. I let out a breath, grabbing a pillow and resting my head in his lap.  
  
I feel one of his hands in my hair while the other one is splayed across my hips. A soft puff of air escapes my lungs as I feel his fingers teasing apart my tresses while his thumb creeps beneath the hem of my shirt, softly drawing circles over my lower back.  
  
I bite down on my lower lip, trying not to become so easily aroused from such a simple gesture. My skin grows warm and the room hot. I feel my breathing thicken, and his hand in my hair travel slightly down to my neck.  
  
My mind wanders to Jack and what he's doing. Is he going home to be with his wife, or to be alone? Maybe he's going to the bar where we first kissed and his hands first danced across my body. My eyes slip closed, imagining Jack's lips on mine and his hands roaming down my body. My skin flushes from the thought as I feel Martin's hand on my cheek and his eyes looking down at me.  
  
I glance up at him, my eyes dark with desire as he smiles down at me. This isn't what I want. I mean it is, but I want it with someone else. I sit up, moving slightly away from Martin to catch my breath. I feel his hand on my shoulder. "You all right?" he whispers into my ear, sending a chill down my spine.  
  
"Fine," I answer, standing up and heading for the bathroom to cool down.  
  
I flip on the light and see my flushed face. I run the water in the sink, trying to cool myself off. "Samantha?" I hear Eva's voice and open the bathroom door for her to come in before locking it.  
  
"You're not telling me something," she states, eyeing me intently. "Jack--- is he the one you're in love with?"  
  
I nod my head and feel my lips tugging slightly down.  
  
"Oh, Samantha," she breathes out, moving to take a seat beside me on the edge of the tub. "Is he really worth it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"This," she gestures, "what you're doing here in the bathroom when you have a guy out there in the other room that's in love with you."  
  
"I never asked for this."  
  
"Neither did I," she reminds me. "Besides I don't understand why you're acting bizarre all of a sudden. This morning you were telling him to bring a change of clothes, and now you're running away when he touches you."  
  
"I was thinking about Jack," I whisper out softly, "about his hands on me."  
  
"Oh," her eyes widen at the realization. "You need to get over him."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You're not allowing yourself to," Eva answers. "You want to believe he'll leave his wife for you, but if he's truly the man you say he is, then he won't."  
  
My head falls into my hands.  
  
"Samantha, I know you don't want to hear this," she continues, "but you need to realize it. If you're not in love with Martin, don't trail him along; you'll only hurt him."  
  
"I figure maybe one day--" I answer softly. "I don't want to give up on something so easily."  
  
"Just put it on hold," she offers.  
  
"It might not be there later on," I state, remembering a similar conversation between Jack and myself.  
  
"You really love Jack?" She eyes me intently as I nod my head slowly and feel her hands moving over mine. "There's only one thing for you to do then." 


	21. Chapter 21

"You really love Jack?" She eyes me intently as I nod my head softly and feel her hands moving over mine. "There's only one thing for you to do then."  
  
*****  
  
"What?"  
  
"Play hard to get."  
  
"That won't work," I shake my head. "You already said he's married and he won't leave her."  
  
"Maybe she'll leave him," Eva shrugs, "and if she doesn't, the least we can do is get him a little jealous."  
  
"How do you suggest 'we' do that?" My eyes move up to meet hers before I shake my head no. "I can't do it, Eva. That's awful. I'd be using him and I would feel terrible for doing that."  
  
"Well you're not technically using him. I mean you could potentially fall in love with him while doing this and then it solves both your problems."  
  
"And if I don't?"  
  
"Someone's going to be hurt in the end, any way you look at it. You can only hope at that time it won't be you. Right now you are hurting, and your pain isn't going to go away until you do something about it."  
  
"So I do what? Seduce Martin and make Jack jealous? We're not kids, Eva. He won't go for it and, besides, it's childish. We're not bringing any relationship to work; it only has potential to hurt the team," I state soundly.  
  
"Well, I'm sure you could bring it to work without doing any real damage. You all partner up, don't you?"  
  
"We switch off; Jack assigns us to each other."  
  
"Hmmm," Eva breathes out softly. "I doubt Jack will assign you and Martin together at first. I bet you can play it up, though."  
  
"What are you suggesting?"  
  
"You stay overnight sometimes--right?"  
  
"Yes," I nod. "What are you getting at?"  
  
"Has Jack ever stayed next door?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You could pretend to be with Martin," she grins wickedly. "Make Jack jealous and think about what he's missing. I'm not saying it's a definite plan that will work, but come on, what other option do you have?"  
  
"It's wrong, Eva."  
  
"No, Samantha; what's wrong is you being in love with a man you can't have."  
  
"You don't understand," I shake my head. "I want more than just an affair with Jack. I want everything he can't offer me."  
  
"And why can't he offer it to you? Because he's married," she grins. "We could always screw with his wife and make her think he's having an affair."  
  
"That's awful!"  
  
"I'm just kidding," she laughs, moving her hand to my shoulder. "Don't worry; we won't do anything that will make him hate you in the end. We're trying to accomplish the opposite effect," she reminds me with a smile.  
  
"It will never work."  
  
"He loves you," she smiles towards me. "He may be conflicted, but he's having the same feelings towards you that probably aren't going away. He probably doesn't know how to deal with them--and with Martin."  
  
"So throwing this in his face will make things better? You make it sound so awful."  
  
"You'll be having fun and in the end you'll win either way. You'll either get the man you're in love with now, or fall in love with the man you've got now. Besides, Samantha, what do you have to lose?"  
  
"Their friendship," I point out.  
  
"How good of friends are you with Jack right now?" She eyes me intently.  
  
"Fair," I answer honestly. "There's a lot he keeps from me, but I'm not certain I'd want to know those things."  
  
"About his wife?"  
  
"Yeah," I nod with a sigh.  
  
"Don't sweat it," she stands up. "Come on---before Martin starts to wonder what we're doing in the bathroom together," she laughs softly and meets my gaze. "You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with," Eva reminds me. "Take this at your pace," she smiles and whispers ever so quietly, "It'll seem more realistic that way."  
  
"Eva," I eye her and she shrugs.  
  
"Sorry." She opens the bathroom door. "Come on," she tells me, as I head out towards Martin.  
  
"Hey, you two," he eyes me with a smile.  
  
"I can't believe you subjected me to a chick flick and missed half of it!"  
  
"It was only ten minutes," I answer, moving to sit beside him and feel his arm around my shoulder. I lean into his warm body, relaxing and letting the movie take over in my mind.  
  
As the night progresses onward and the film ends, I notice Eva asleep on the small couch and I move to stand up. Martin eyes me curiously as I grab a blanket from the hall closet and drape it over her sleeping form. "It's getting late." I eye the clock, taking Martin's hand and bringing him into the bedroom with me.  
  
"I should get my bag."  
  
"Oh, yeah, right," I laugh softly. "I'll get changed in the meantime," I state, grabbing a pair of warm pajamas and slip into the bathroom.  
  
I bite down on my lower lip wondering what exactly will transpire. I told him I wanted to take things slow and he hasn't pushed me, but---I let out a sigh and come out of the bathroom to see Martin lying under the covers.  
  
I shut off the light and in the darkness slip into bed beside him. I feel my leg brush his and try not to intentionally arouse him.  
  
"Samantha?"  
  
I roll around to face him, and even in the darkness I can make out the features on his face. "Yeah?"  
  
"What happened today?" His eyes never leave mine.  
  
"I don't know," I whisper, feeling lost and confused myself.  
  
"Jack apologized to you," he comments. Martin's hand moves to my face, brushing the hair from my eyes. He watches me as I let out a soft breath.  
  
"He didn't think I should let Eva stay with me either," I answer.  
  
"And?"  
  
"That was it," I whisper. "I pretty much hung up on him because I didn't care what he thought."  
  
"You always do what you want," Martin states with a smile.  
  
"Is that a bad thing?"  
  
"No," he answers. "It shows you have ambition."  
  
"Thanks," I answer, although not too sure what he said is true. I roll onto my stomach and close my eyes. I feel Martin's gaze on me and can't help but bury my head deep into the pillow with a smile playing on my lips. "Goodnight," I whisper, before succumbing to sleep. 


	22. Chapter 22

"Thanks," I answer although not too sure what he said is true. I roll onto my stomach and close my eyes. I feel Martin's gaze on me and can't help but bury my head deep into the pillow with a smile playing on my lips. "Goodnight," I whisper, before succumbing to sleep.  
  
******  
  
As Monday rolls around, Martin's back home and Eva's driving in with me to the office. We head in through the front doors, getting a visitor's pass for Eva before stepping through security.  
  
Once we make our way upstairs and to our floor, I notice Jack along with the team sitting at the conference table. Jack immediately stands up, seeing me with Eva and motions for us to go into his office.  
  
"Sam, I want you to take Eva down to the lab where they'll run the DNA test. Eva you can either go home after that, or stay in my office until lunch."  
  
"Can I go down the street to the bookstore?" she eyes me curiously. I feel my stomach knot at the thought of being in any bookstore after the hostage crisis, but can't bring the words 'no' to my lips. Jack must sense what's going on because he steps in.  
  
"After lunch," he offers her a smile and follows us down to the elevators. "Meet me back here when you're done."  
  
"I can go on my own," Eva suggests as we get in the elevator.  
  
"No, someone needs to escort you," I state softly, hitting the button and watching it close as Jack heads back to the team.  
  
After a quick series of tests, we head back to our unit.  
  
"Do you think you'll find my dad?" Eva eyes me with weary eyes.  
  
"I don't know," I answer honestly, "but we're going to try."  
  
"And what then?"  
  
"We'll let him know he has a daughter and see how it goes from there." I show her to Jack's office and shut the door before heading to the conference table. "What have we got?" I feel Martin and Jack's eyes on me and inwardly flush.  
  
"I never got the report from you on Lisa Harris," Jack eyes me, and my stomach tenses.  
  
Damn! I knew I forgot to do something. "Are you sure?" I eye him wearily.  
  
"Positive."  
  
"You'll have it by tomorrow morning."  
  
"Not good enough. Van Doren wants it today and, besides, if you have it done, you can print it out while we're researching our new missing person."  
  
"It's on my computer at home," I lie, trying to bide for more time.  
  
"Can't Eva get it?" Danny eyes me, obviously caught up on the current situation.  
  
"No," I shake my head, "those files are confidential," I point out. "I'll have it to you in the morning. If Van Doren has a problem, I'll talk to her," I offer.  
  
Jack lets out a sigh, shaking his head in dismay. The other members of the team glance down at the file of the missing person before Vivian speaks up.  
  
"We've got a missing 21-year-old male---Damon Relic."  
  
"Last seen with a bunch of his friends drinking at a bar for his birthday. They thought he went to the bathroom, although he never returned. He's been missing for 9 hours. Martin and Danny, I want you to investigate Damon and find out how he related to his parents, what he told them if anything. We also have a place of employment, so I want you two on that. Vivian I want you to check the morgues. Find out if there were any John Doe's admitted to the hospital along with recent car accident reports. It wouldn't surprise me if this guy smashed up a car along with himself."  
  
Vivian reads over the report, "According to this, he doesn't have a car."  
  
"Doesn't mean he didn't borrow someone's car. Samantha and I are going to head out to the bar and talk to the owner---see if he remembers Damon. You guys are all local, so I want you back and reporting to one another. Samantha, it's about a three-hour drive to the bar and to his campus. I'm figuring we can interview some of his friends while we're out there."  
  
"What about Eva?"  
  
"Can she drive?" Jack questions.  
  
"Yes," I nod with a confused look in my eyes. "I think so."  
  
"Then give her your keys and one to your apartment. We'll grab your overnight bag and toss it into my car before we head out."  
  
"All right," I whisper, not exactly sure why he's sending me with him on a more than likely overnight trip. I don't question it, though--not yet at least--because I worry he'll end up choosing someone else if I do.  
  
I grab the file and head towards Jack's office to see Eva sketching a picture.  
  
"That's good," I comment, coming up from behind her to examine it.  
  
"It sucks," she shakes her head at the image of the office she's sketched and us sitting around the table.  
  
"I've got news. I'm going with Jack on a case and I might not be back tonight, or if I am, it will likely be late."  
  
"Great," she smiles with wide eyes. "This is too easy," she laughs seeing Jack come in and nods to him.  
  
"You have a driver's license, right?"  
  
"Of course," she answers, pulling it out and showing me the plastic card.  
  
"I'm going to grab my overnight bag and then you can take the car back to the apartment. I'll give you a key; think you can find the place?"  
  
"Oh, yeah," Eva nods. "What should I do about dinner?"  
  
"I pulled some food out of the freezer to defrost," I answer. "Think you can cook without burning the house down?"  
  
"No sweat," she interrupts me. The three of us head down to my car, Jack offering to carry my bag as I hand over my keys to Eva.  
  
"Don't lose them," I warn her.  
  
"Believe me, I've seen your gun. I won't," she answers with a soft smile.  
  
I feel Jack's hand on my back as we head towards his car and he hands over the keys for me to drive. He tosses my bag into the backseat and we buckle ourselves in before pulling out of the parking garage.  
  
"When you get home, you can turn in the report from the Harris kidnapping."  
  
I nod my head and Jack gives me directions, as we start in on our way. 


	23. Chapter 23

I feel Jack's hand on my back as we head towards his car and he hands over the keys for me to drive. He tosses my bag into the backseat and we buckle ourselves in before pulling out of the parking garage.  
  
I nod my head and Jack gives me directions, as we start in on our way.  
  
*****  
  
We're on the road for an hour and we haven't said much to one another. With the radio on, I'm grateful it's not complete silence in the car. I feel Jack's eyes on me, and I glance over in his direction.  
  
"What?" I question.  
  
"I'm just worried about you," he answers. "You seem to be doing better, but I'm concerned it's just an act you're putting on and hiding your real feelings."  
  
"Real feelings?" I repeat his words, pretending to be oblivious to what he's talking about.  
  
"Martin," he states soundly.  
  
"Oh, yeah, him," I feel a soft smile tugging at my lips. "No, I'm not acting Jack."  
  
"So, you love him then?"  
  
"I told you last week it wasn't love," I remind him. "I can't describe it, but I can't let something good get away from me."  
  
"So you're over us?" I feel his eyes burning my skin.  
  
"Does it matter? You're married?" I glance towards him and see his gaze glance out the window. "Jack, what's going on at home?"  
  
"Nothing," he whispers.  
  
"Don't lie to me," I state and turn off the radio. "I thought we were friends?"  
  
"We are."  
  
"Then tell me what's going on with you and Maria."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Then who are you going to talk about it with, Jack? I know how you're feeling. Believe me, I do. For a while I wanted nothing more than to share with someone how I felt for you, and how crushed I was when it was over. I couldn't do it, though---not with you and not with anyone else. I'm offering you my friendship, Jack; take it."  
  
"I can't," he shakes his head no.  
  
"Why?" My eyes meet his and his bore into mine as I feel the car hit the indentations on the highway and I immediately shift the car back into the correct lane.  
  
"I'm still in love with you, Samantha, and I can't be. It's not right. You're finally moving on; I'm married," he breathes out.  
  
"Jack, do you love your wife?"  
  
"Of course," he answers rather too quickly for my liking.  
  
"Then what's the problem?"  
  
He lets out a sigh and shuts his eyes for a moment.  
  
"I wish it were that simple," he breathes out before reaching over to turn the radio back on, signaling the end of our discussion.  
  
We make our way to the bar, parking the car and stepping inside. "I'm Agent Spade and this is Agent Malone. We're with the FBI." I flash the bartender my badge as he finishes getting someone a drink.  
  
"What can I do for you?"  
  
"Were you working last night?" Jack questions.  
  
"Till two in the morning. What's this about?"  
  
"Do you remember seeing Damon Relic?" I show him a picture of our missing person and he nods his head.  
  
"Yeah, it was his twenty-first birthday. He came in with a bunch of friends."  
  
"Regulars?" I probe.  
  
"Somewhat," the bartender answers. "We're about eight miles out from the campus, so we see a few of those guys on weekends and what not."  
  
"Can you tell us what you remember?"  
  
"I've worked in this business for fifteen years," he tells us. "You can tell when someone's never been drunk." The bartender eyes me intently. "His friends kept buying him rounds of shots and he didn't want to drink anymore, but he kept swallowing them down. Wouldn't surprise me if the guy had a killer hangover."  
  
"Did you see him leave?" I question.  
  
"No. I was getting another couple their drinks and he was just gone. The boys asked me if I knew where he was, but I didn't see anything."  
  
"Do you know any of the regulars' names?" Jack questions.  
  
"Not really," he shakes his head. "I'm sure you could find that out from the school."  
  
"One more question," I quip. "Did you see any girls hanging around him? Anyone seem interested in him?"  
  
"Not that I recall."  
  
"Thanks for your time." I leave my card with the bartender and Jack follows me to the car.  
  
I head out towards the campus and notice Jack answering his phone. "Malone." He pauses and glances towards me after a minute. "Yeah, what have you got?" Another minute or two passes before he hangs up.  
  
I glance towards Jack, curious about who was on the phone. "Our guy quit his job about two weeks ago and was planning on finding something closer to school rather than home," Jack tells me. "He hasn't had contact with his family in over a month, which they don't consider odd."  
  
"Was he living on campus or an apartment?" I glance towards Jack as he thumbs through the file.  
  
"An apartment, alone."  
  
"Might explain why he wanted to find a job closer to school, and probably to put in more hours to pay for it."  
  
"Sounds plausible. Danny mentioned that the parents pay his tuition but the rest is up to him."  
  
"Think he's running from responsibility?" I eye him quickly before turning right towards the apartment complex. We step out of the car, and make our way towards management to retrieve a key and search the premises.  
  
I unlock the front door and carefully step through, making sure no one else is around. I eye the living area, seeing how neat and kept up it is, almost as though he has a girlfriend tidying the place up. I head towards the bedroom, eyeing the clothes strewn on the floor and glance back at Jack, slightly surprised by the mess.  
  
"Find anything?"  
  
He shakes his head no as I open the clothes drawers, then glance over his desk, looking for clues that might give us his whereabouts.  
  
I head back into the small kitchen area, opening the fridge to see it well stocked. "Doesn't look like the guy was planning on skipping town."  
  
"No, it doesn't," Jack muses aloud, walking towards me to look into the fridge before I shut it. I glance down at the answering machine with several flashing messages and click play. The first two are from family wishing him a happy birthday, showing he never came home or, if he did, he didn't check his messages. The greetings turn into concerns from some of the guys he must have partied with.  
  
"Do you think this guy left with some girl?" I offer. Jack shrugs in response and we make our way out.  
  
We knock on a few neighbors' doors, hoping to find some information that we can use. After the third apartment, we head back down to the car, making our way to the University for some guidance.  
  
We investigate the phone records and come up with a few friends' names that called after his disappearance. Jack and I decide to split up and meet back in an hour to get through the long list of friends.  
  
I head for University Housing and make my way towards the Dean to gain access to the student that decided to stay on campus during winter break. After twenty minutes, the student I've asked to speak with comes down to meet me.  
  
"I'm Josh Campbell," he says as he shakes my hand and takes a seat across from me in the lounge.  
  
"I'm with the FBI, Josh. My name is Agent Spade." I show him my badge. "Were you with Damon last night?"  
  
"Yeah, we went to the bar for a few hours; that was the last I saw of him."  
  
"You didn't see him leave with anyone?" I question.  
  
"No, although it didn't surprise me he managed to sneak out."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"He didn't want to drink that much in the first place. Everyone kept pressuring him to have more. We all figured he was going to the bathroom to puke. We had no idea he wouldn't be back."  
  
"Was there anyone sober there at the party?"  
  
Josh laughs softly and shakes his head, "No."  
  
"How did you plan on getting back?"  
  
"We didn't really think about it. There's a bus that runs till midnight and there's always the campus late night ride system."  
  
"How did you get home?" I question.  
  
"I wasn't that wasted."  
  
"So you drove?"  
  
His eyes dart out towards the window.  
  
"Are we done?"  
  
"Who else was at the party last night?" I question.  
  
"Five of us, including me."  
  
"I need their names." I hand him my small notebook and he jots down the information. "Their addresses too," I tell him.  
  
"Everyone else lives in the apartments together. Damon and I were supposed to room together but we ended up in a disagreement last year, so here I am," he gestures towards the dorms.  
  
"Thanks for your time." I hand him one of my cards. "If you think of anything else, call me."  
  
I stand up and head outside, dialing Jack's number.  
  
"Malone."  
  
"Hey, I've got a few names we can check up on," I tell him.  
  
"Good, because these friends of his haven't seen him in three days," Jack answers. "I'll swing by and pick you up."  
  
"All right." I hang up my phone and wait around a few minutes until I see him pulling up in front.  
  
I take a seat in the passenger side, content on letting Jack drive a little ways. I give Jack directions to the apartment complex and we make our way to the front door, knocking briskly.  
  
"FBI. Open up." Jack knocks repeatedly as we hear people scurrying around before opening the door. The room is filled with smoke, and not that of cigarettes.  
  
Jack and I show our badges to the young men occupying the apartment. "We're here investigating Damon Relic's disappearance," I tell them.  
  
"Yeah, he left last night at the bar."  
  
"What time?" Jack questions, pulling out his small notebook to jot down notes.  
  
"A little after midnight," the shortest of the four tells us. "He just up and left."  
  
"Did you see with whom?" I eye him steadily.  
  
"No, we thought he was going to the bathroom, but he never came back."  
  
"Does he have a girlfriend? Someone he might have gotten a ride with?"  
  
"He's not exactly boyfriend material."  
  
"Why do you say that?" Jack questions.  
  
Another one of the roommates speaks up, "He's pretty quiet, keeps to himself. Doesn't do much in the social light. Last night was his first time getting drunk."  
  
I nod my head, "Is there anyone that might want to hurt him?"  
  
"No," they all consider the question. "We figured he caught a cab home but stopped by this morning to give him hell for leaving us, and he wasn't there."  
  
"If you think of anything else," Jack hands him his card and we make our way to the car. "Any ideas?" He eyes me as we pull out of the parking lot.  
  
"I'm not sure I'm seeing the whole picture, Jack. I mean this guy seems fairly quiet and keeps to himself, then why is he hanging around these other guys that are obviously going to get him into trouble?"  
  
"Maybe he's lonely," Jack muses, eyeing me intently. "We should stop for dinner," he states, heading out for the main road. "We didn't eat lunch and I know I'm hungry. You must be starved."  
  
I shrug in response, letting out a soft sigh. "I could use something to eat."  
  
"By the time we're done with dinner, we should check into a hotel. In the morning I want to go back to Damon's apartment and make sure there's no surprises lying around."  
  
"What did you have in mind?" I whisper.  
  
"Drugs, alcohol. These friends are definitely party people. I have this feeling that they're hiding something about Damon." 


	24. Chapter 24

"Drugs, alcohol. These friends are definitely party people. I have this feeling that they're hiding something about Damon."  
  
****  
  
After we finish eating dinner and check into the hotel, it's quarter past eight and I'm beat. I grab my bag, take it with me into my room and shut the door behind me. I can hear Jack walking around on the other side of the wall and let out a soft sigh, staring at the adjoining door. I remember the nights we used to pretend to have to get involved on cases, only to escape our jobs and our lives to be together.  
  
I take a seat on the bed, open the file and read through the information we've gathered.  
  
I hear Jack on the other side of the door, talking to someone on the phone. I let out a sigh, figuring he's probably trying to reason with Maria why he's on the case and not some other agent.  
  
I grab my phone and dial the house to see how Eva's doing.  
  
"Hello?" She picks up after two rings.  
  
"You keeping the house in good shape?"  
  
"Of course," she chimes. "How's the case going?"  
  
"Pretty much a dead end."  
  
"How's Jack?" Eva giggles.  
  
"He's still married," I answer, lying back in bed and closing my eyes.  
  
"You should call Martin."  
  
"I should?"  
  
"Yeah; if you talk loud enough, Jack might get jealous."  
  
"You're evil."  
  
"I know," she laughs softly. "I should go; there's a show I want to watch tonight."  
  
"Fine," I shake my head. "Don't stay up too late," I tease her.  
  
"Don't worry," she smiles before hanging up.  
  
I end the call and then dial Martin to talk about the case. I hear Jack running the shower and relax, knowing he won't be eavesdropping.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Martin, its Samantha."  
  
"I know," he answers lightly. "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing," I whisper. "I just wanted to talk to you. I didn't see much of you today," I remind him.  
  
"Miss me already?" he questions with a teasing laugh. "There isn't much to go on with the case. I'm thinking of driving up tomorrow, to help you guys out."  
  
"Did you talk to Jack?" I question.  
  
"Yeah, earlier and he said he'd see how the case pans out. Right now any leads we have will come from you," Martin tells me.  
  
"We don't have much to go on, if anything at all," I point out.  
  
"Well the family hasn't seen Damon in over a month, and that doesn't work well for us." He lets out a soft sigh and I can hear him typing away.  
  
"Are you still at work?"  
  
"Yeah," he breathes out. "I finished your report, at least what I could do for you."  
  
"Martin," I whisper, "you didn't have to---"  
  
"I know. Consider it another Christmas gift," he teases softly.  
  
"Jack's going to know I didn't write it."  
  
"You can revise it when you get back and add any other fine details."  
  
"Thanks," I laugh. "You can be a real lifesaver sometimes."  
  
"Listen, Samantha, I'm sorry I left in such a rush Sunday morning."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"No." I can see his mind racing a mile a minute. "I didn't want to leave, but I felt like if I stayed any longer, I'd do something I'd regret."  
  
"Yeah?" I question aloud. "What are you getting at?"  
  
"I can't sleep next to you and not toss and turn all night. When I'm in bed with you, I want to make love to you, not just watch you sleep."  
  
"Martin," I interrupt him.  
  
"I know, you want to take things slow. I don't disagree with that."  
  
"I'm just not sure what I want right now," I tell him. "I think you're a really great friend, Martin, and I don't want to screw it up."  
  
"You won't," he reassures me. "We're good together, and I love you," he tells me soundly.  
  
"Yeah," I let out a sigh, remembering how good it felt, how slow it was. Whenever Jack and I made love, it was always frantic and rushed. With Martin it was different. I'm sure Jack would take his time if I wanted him to slow down, but at the time that's what I needed. Now I'm not so sure.  
  
"What, Samantha?" Martin's voice is soft on my ears.  
  
"I should go. It's getting late and you should get home," I remind him. "Goodnight," I whisper before hanging up the phone.  
  
I slide my phone onto the bedside table and let out a soft breath. I close my eyes, wondering what Jack really thinks of Martin and me together. If he caught us kissing or touching, would he become outraged? If he did, it means he's still in love with me---right?  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's voice on the other side of the door and him knocking gently.  
  
"Just a second," I answer, heading over to unlock the adjoining door.  
  
"I wanted you to look at something," he motions for me to follow into his room. His hair's wet and he's wearing a fresh change of clothes. I can smell his scent emitted from the bathroom and take in a breath, drinking him in.  
  
"What is it?" I eye him curiously as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, showing me his notes.  
  
"I talked to Danny and Vivian earlier. Viv mentioned there were too many DUI's reported to count last night. She went through them anyhow, but his name and description didn't turn up anything."  
  
"What about accidents?" I question, moving towards the bed, looking down at the file.  
  
"Depends where we're looking. From the bar to his apartment, none. From the bar to his home, five."  
  
"Five?" My eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"It's the holidays, Samantha, and besides it's nearly 300 miles from the bar to his house back in the city."  
  
"Has the team looked into the accidents?" My eyes glance into Jack's as he moves to allow me room to sit down. I continue to stand, not wanting to sit too close to him, knowing what it'll do to me.  
  
"Yeah, and he wasn't in any of the vehicles."  
  
"What if the accident hasn't been accounted for?"  
  
"A hit and run?" Jack eyes me curiously.  
  
"Or maybe he hit a tree and slammed his car into the woods," I suggest. "We've got 300 miles to search and that's assuming he went home, which I'm doubting."  
  
"You think he tried to go back to his cold and empty apartment, alone?" Jack eyes me, his words ringing in my ears.  
  
I let out a sigh, finally taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside him. "I'm just saying I think it's more likely he stayed in town. If this kid is truly like everyone says---he doesn't get drunk all the time---then he likely didn't drive home."  
  
"You think someone picked him up?"  
  
"I'm sure he went with someone he trusted," I point out.  
  
"It could be anyone." Jack lets out a sigh, and lies back on the bed, the papers shifting on the mattress. I turn towards him, my arm brushing his leg. His eyes move to where our bodies just touched and then to my eyes.  
  
"We'll ask around again in the morning," I state.  
  
"In the meantime," Jack eyes me, "you should try and get some sleep."  
  
"Right," I whisper, our gaze penetrating through one another's before finally breaking away. "Night," I answer softly, heading towards my room and softly shutting the door most of the way. 


	25. Chapter 25

"Right," I whisper, our gaze penetrating through one another's before finally breaking away. "Night," I answer softly, heading towards my room and softly shutting the door most of the way.  
  
***********  
  
I head back to my bed, reading through the files and reports we had faxed over from our NYC office. I feel myself tired with sleep but won't allow myself the pleasure of closing my eyes. If I sleep, it means more time will pass and there'll be less chance of finding Damon. I continue to study the notes and interviews, hoping to piece together where and with whom he might have left.  
  
I let out a soft groan, feeling achy from staring down at the reports and not stretching. My eyes hurt from studying the files and the words become a jumbled blur.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's soft voice, quiet enough not to wake me but loud enough for me to hear. The door squeaks open as he slips through the entranceway between our rooms.  
  
"Just going over stuff."  
  
"It's one in the morning," he eyes the clock. "We'll likely have to get up early as it is. Get some sleep."  
  
"Yeah," I breathe out, not making any attempt to move. My eyes stare down at the files cluttered along the mattress. My neck aches and my eyes hurt from staring at everything for so long.  
  
Jack moves towards my bed and my head finally lolls up to see him helping close and put away the files. "Thanks," I smile softly with a yawn as we put everything on the table.  
  
"You okay?" Once the files are situated, Jack moves back towards my bed, his hand resting on my shoulder.  
  
"Just tired and a little stiff," I answer. "I should be fine by morning."  
  
"Turn around."  
  
"What?" I glance at him with heavy eyes, but do as I'm told.  
  
I feel his hands on my shoulders, gently kneading my flesh. He softly brushes my hair to one side as his hands work on the other, tenderly working on the knots as I softly groan out.  
  
His touch alone makes me grow tired and I move to lie down on my stomach, feeling Jack's fingers continue to work on my muscles.  
  
"Thank you," I mumble into the pillow. My eyes are shut and I slowly feel the pain subside. He continues working on my neck, slightly drawing his hands down my back but always trying to keep it 'professional.' I laugh inwardly at such a thought, but don't care right now because of what he's doing. It feels so incredibly good and what I wouldn't give to experience this again.  
  
I feel myself being drawn towards sleep, and I'm not sure if it's because of the late hour or what he's doing that's relaxing me so much. I fail to feel him stop or hear him leave my room when he's done, since I'm in a deep, exhaustive sleep.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Jack's voice and open my eyes to see him dressed as the sun shines in through the curtains.  
  
"Yeah, I'm up," I answer, rolling around in bed and wanting to fall back asleep, but knowing I can't. I remember what Jack used to do to encourage me to wake up when he stayed the few nights that he did. The thought alone sends a smile to my face and I glance up to see the adjoining door shut.  
  
I sit up and grab my clothes before taking a quick shower. When I get done, I see Jack packing the files away and hanging up the phone.  
  
"Any news?" I question, stepping into his room.  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "I'm thinking we may be going at this from the wrong angle."  
  
I eye him to go on as I head back towards my room to pack up my things. I hear Jack's footsteps behind me.  
  
"This kid didn't have a car; we already know that," Jack reminds me. "What if he took the bus back to his apartment?"  
  
"It runs till midnight, right? It's plausible," I nod my head and look up from the bag I've just zipped. "Did you check the bus company?"  
  
"There's two bus lines that go to his apartment, but the university one conveniently stops at the bar, as opposed to the other one, which is two blocks down and one block over."  
  
"And?" I eye him, tossing my bag over my shoulder as he grabs his things and we head out to the car.  
  
"We're going to ask if they've seen our guy." Jack tosses me the keys to drive after we put our things in the trunk.  
  
I pull out into traffic and Jack gives me directions to the university bus station. We exit the car and pull out our badges, showing it to the staff. "We're with the FBI," Jack tells them. "I called this morning about the disappearance of a college student."  
  
"Right," the woman nods. "Come with me." She takes us down to her office where we take a seat. "I've got three drivers that worked the night shift for that route. All three of them are here and I'll send them in separately for you to talk with them."  
  
The first one, a Mr. Rodriguez, doesn't recognize the boy's face from either taking the bus previously or being a passenger the night of his disappearance. He explained that because it's winter break for the college students, most of them have gone home, and those that haven't usually have a car to get themselves around.  
  
The second driver, a Mr. Allan Andrews, steps into the office and takes a seat across from where I stand and Jack sits.  
  
"Do you recognize him?" I show him a photo of Damon Relic and he eyes it, and then Jack, before glancing back towards me.  
  
"Yeah, he's one of the kids I picked up. Why? Did he make a complaint or something?"  
  
"Or something," Jack answers standing up. "Did you see him Sunday night?"  
  
"I might have. What's it to you?"  
  
"It's more what's it worth to you? Impeding a federal missing persons investigation can serve a jail sentence. How would you like to do some hard time, Mr. Andrews?" I step closer, eyeing him, till he slumps in his seat.  
  
"Yeah, I saw him."  
  
"Did you give him a ride that night?"  
  
"Yeah, but it wasn't on no bus," he answers. "The kid was hitchhiking because the buses were done running. I was on my way back and recognized him. Thought I'd be nice and offer him a ride back to his apartment."  
  
"He never made it home," I state bluntly.  
  
"Well, I dropped him off."  
  
"Did you watch him go inside?"  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "I couldn't see into his apartment complex after he made it through the first set of doors.  
  
"He never made it even to those doors," I state, hoping to break him.  
  
"All right," he let's out a sigh. "I did pick him up, but I didn't do nothing to the kid."  
  
"Then who did?" Jack's voice grows rough and deep.  
  
"Hell if I know," the man shrugs.  
  
"Where did you take him?" I question, my eyes staring into his as they nervously dart around the room.  
  
"The kid was puking all over the place. I told him to get out and throw up, then I left his sorry ass. Teach the kid a lesson."  
  
"Where did you leave him?" My voice grows insistent.  
  
"Not even a mile down from the bar. He could have walked back to make a call for someone else to pick him up. The late night ride service was there. I was just being a nice guy and look where it got me."  
  
"A nice guy?" I laugh at his words. "You left him on the side of the road!"  
  
"He could fend for himself."  
  
"Could he?" I question, "---because he's been missing for 32 hours." My eyes grow angry and I storm out of the room before I lose my cool any more then I already have.  
  
I feel Jack's arm on my elbow, and I turn around with a soft breath.  
  
"What now?" I glance into Jack's eyes to see the concern he holds, and I'm not sure whether it's for myself or for Damon.  
  
"We'll bring Allan Andrews to the scene where he left Damon. Then we'll see what turns up." Jack eyes me intently.  
  
"You don't think he killed him?"  
  
"No," Jack shakes his head. "I think he's telling the truth."  
  
"He's not leaving anything else out?"  
  
"That I can't say for certain." Jack's hand brushes against mine, so innocently I'm not sure if it's intentional or not. We both pretend it hasn't happened, but his eyes watch mine for some kind of reaction.  
  
"We'll bring a team with us," I state. "Should I call Danny, Vivian, and Martin or---"  
  
"They'll take too long to get here. You can tell them the lead's hot on this end, but I'm not sure they should drive up here just yet."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"This case could be solved before they'd make it," he answers. "Let's talk to one of the detectives and see if they can spare us a team." 


	26. Chapter 26

"This case could be solved before they'd make it," he answers. "Let's talk to one of the detectives and see if they can spare us a team."  
  
*****  
  
After we gather ourselves some men to search the site, we bring Andrews with us. We keep a close eye on him, making sure he doesn't try anything stupid. Since we don't have anything to legally hold him, he's technically a free man, which means he's not in cuffs. However, Jack and I keep a close distance to Andrews, in case he tries to flee.  
  
"Up here," Andrews points towards the shoulder and then down the ditch towards the woods. "I pulled over and let him out. He started vomiting and that's when I took off."  
  
"You know, Allan, you really should get a Good Samaritan award for your support," Jack adds sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, I'm just trying to help the FBI out."  
  
"You know what would have helped us a lot more? Not leaving the kid," I point out.  
  
"Hey, I didn't want him ruining the interior of my car. The last thing I need is a detail job. You think I can afford that?"  
  
"Not after you're fired from your job," Jack tastefully adds as we leave him in the back of the police car and wander around outside.  
  
Overnight it managed to rain and likely destroyed any evidence that remains. "How far do these woods go back?" I ask the local detective.  
  
"Ten, twenty miles tops."  
  
"He could be anywhere," I state. I walk over towards Jack. "There's a few fast food joints a block back, I noticed. I'm going to walk down and see if he might have gone in looking for help."  
  
"I'll come with you. Detective Connor?" I hear Jack's voice and he walks off to tell him where we're going before he joins me on the short walk.  
  
Jack makes his way over towards me. "I told him to send someone up the road about a mile in case there's any other places Damon might have stopped to get a ride home."  
  
I nod my head in agreement as we walk down to the fast food chain. We step inside, showing our badges to the cashier. "We're with the FBI," I introduce us, "Agents Malone and Spade. We're here about the disappearance of Damon Relic."  
  
"Oh, yeah, I heard about him on the news," the young girl tells us.  
  
"Do you know if he might have come in here Sunday night? We know he was about a block north of here," I tell her. "He was inebriated and looking for a ride home."  
  
"Um, I left around midnight. I can get my manager; he might know." She quickly finds her boss before shying away from us. Jack and I both pick up on her behavior.  
  
Jack decides to speak with the manager while I talk to the young girl.  
  
"Did something happen that night?" I eye her as she bites her fingernails, chewing them down to the core as her hand shakes slightly.  
  
"I--" she pauses letting out an unsteady breath, "I don't know."  
  
"Tell me what you do know," I answer calmly and in a soft voice.  
  
"I was driving home and I saw someone on the side of the road. He looked like he wasn't sure where he was going. He started coming out onto the road and I swerved into the other lane. Luckily it was empty, so I didn't hit him," she tells me, "or anyone else." Her eyes meet mine. "Can I go back to work now."  
  
"One final question: what kind of car were you driving?"  
  
"A silver Ford Focus."  
  
"Thanks," I nod, as the girl heads off and I make my way back towards Jack.  
  
"What'd you find out?" He eyes me as we slip out of the burger joint and into the parking lot. I glance around at the cars, looking for any signs of damage or blood, specifically on a Focus.  
  
"She almost hit him---he came out onto the road. My guess is he was probably trying to stop traffic to get a ride back."  
  
"Or he wandered out into the street," Jack comments. "What are you hoping to find?" He eyes me as I glance from one car to the next to find nothing.  
  
"Evidence that she might be lying and she actually hit him."  
  
"You're assuming she didn't clean or repair any minor damage," Jack adds.  
  
"What else do we really have to go on?" I eye him and let out a soft sigh.  
  
"I'll call Danny and relay him the news. They can make the trip up here tomorrow, since they're not doing us any good back at home." Jack adds.  
  
After he finishes the call, he slips away from my grasp and dials another number. I can only assume its Maria. I don't eavesdrop on his conversation especially because he's out of earshot.  
  
I start making my way back towards the other detectives, hoping there's something we can go on.  
  
"Agent Spade," I hear Detective Connor's voice, "we found a torn piece of clothing with blood on it."  
  
"Where?" My eyes widen as I signal for Jack's attention. He follows towards me as I walk with Detective Connor into the woods and am shown where the fabric was lying.  
  
"Right here," he answers. "It was caught on a branch."  
  
"We're pretty far in," I comment, glancing around. "Why would he have been going deeper into the forest? Doesn't make much sense."  
  
I hear Jack's footsteps crunching along the cold ground as he moves to step up beside me. "Running from something," he adds eyeing me. "As soon as it's confirmed whose blood is on there, I want to know," Jack tells Connor sternly.  
  
Jack heads back out of the forest the way we came. If it weren't for the teams making their way past us, and the sun still up, we'd likely be turned around and easily lost in the woods.  
  
"What are you thinking?" I glance towards Jack.  
  
"We might be too late," he answers with a sigh.  
  
"It was only a scrap of clothing," I remind him. "We haven't found a body."  
  
"It's only a matter of time until the woods are combed and we find him, Samantha."  
  
"Don't give up hope so easily," I state, taking his hand and giving it a soft squeeze before letting go and heading into the police car we came in.  
  
"Can I go home yet?" Andrews questions as I open the door and sit up front.  
  
"You recognize this?" I show him the sealed bag with the small piece of clothing.  
  
"Yeah, the kid was wearing that when I picked him up."  
  
"He's probably dead now," Jack spits out, moving beside me in the front seat to sit down. I scoot over, sitting behind the wheel, as I turn my neck to see Andrews' face.  
  
"You don't feel an ounce of guilt for what you did?"  
  
"Why should I be guilty for his sins?" His teeth are clenched and his jaw tight. "I paid for my own."  
  
I eye Jack, curious about what all this means.  
  
"You mean the reckless endangerment charge you got when you were twenty?" Jack's eyes are sharp and dark, hiding something.  
  
"Exactly; it's ancient history. I'm a clean man."  
  
I laugh aloud at the thought. "You don't know the definition of such a thing!" I step out of the car and slam the door. I head out towards the sidewalk and then there's the street. Cars are whizzing by with no thought of anyone else on the road. A few drivers slow down to see what all the commotion is about but, for the most part, they go about their daily lives, forgetting about anyone but themselves.  
  
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice and turn my head slightly to meet his eyes.  
  
"I'm fine," I reassure him, "just needed to get out of the car."  
  
"I could tell," he answers. "Come on," he helps me to my feet and into Detective Connor's car for a lift back to the station to retrieve Jack's car. 


	27. Chapter 27

"I could tell," he answers. "Come on," he helps me to my feet and into Detective Connor's car for a lift back to the station to retrieve Jack's car.  
  
******  
  
We finally get back into Jack's vehicle and he offers to drive, giving me some peace of mind. "You ready for dinner?"  
  
His eyes meet mine and I shrug, not really caring much at all.  
  
"Connor mentioned a small restaurant north of the crime scene. You want to try that?"  
  
"Whatever you think," I whisper, relaxing into the seat cushions.  
  
"We could also order in?"  
  
"No. I could use a real meal," I answer. "Thanks."  
  
He nods his head, turning us into town and up a few blocks till we get to the small, cozy joint on the north side of the woods.  
  
We're escorted to a table and we both take a seat, glancing through the menu before ordering. The waiter comes back twice and we still haven't decided on what we want to eat.  
  
"Maybe it's the case, but I don't have much of an appetite," I eye Jack thoughtfully.  
  
"Me either," he muses. His eyes stare into mine and for a moment I feel as though he's about to confide something, until we're interrupted by someone's loud, high-pitched shrieks from the kitchen. Jack and I both jump up. "We're FBI," he announces, as everyone turns around to see the commotion.  
  
One of the waiters takes us back to show us what's going on.  
  
"It's back here," he says, his eyes wide and his breathing erratic. "Stewart found it in the dumpster."  
  
"Found what?" I calmly question as they open the back door, and the lid to the dumpster, to see a body lying inside and a matching shirt to the sample we found in the forest.  
  
"Shit," Jack gasps out with a sigh, shaking his head as he pulls out his phone and calls the local PD.  
  
After the body's transported and the scene is preserved, Jack and I head back into the restaurant to grab our coats and pay for our sodas.  
  
"How about our usual?" I suggest, eyeing him intently.  
  
"What?" He's slightly confused as to my comment.  
  
"Chinese," I remind him, thinking back to the restaurant and how I have no desire to eat their food.  
  
"Good idea," he adds, as we slip into his car and head back to the hotel.  
  
"I don't get it," I whisper, shaking my head. "Why anyone would do such a thing?"  
  
"We don't know all the details yet," he reminds me. "The local PD are taking over the case and the investigation to find the killer."  
  
"So that's it? We found Damon dead, but we don't find any answers for ourselves?"  
  
"It's not our job," he points out briskly. "Listen, Sam, we can go back in the morning and offer our services. I already called the rest of the team up here. They should be checking into the hotel tonight." He lets out a sigh. "I knew I should have waited to call them."  
  
"Don't blame yourself for that, Jack." I rest my hand on his arm as he nods his head.  
  
We make it back to our rooms, and I grab my bag from the backseat and head into my room. We've left the adjoining doors open and I watch as Jack drops his bag on his bed and lies down with a sigh.  
  
I'm too tired and maybe still too in love to shut the door. I take a seat on my own bed, remembering last night and how he was so great coming into the room and putting me to sleep. I rummage through my bag for my unworn pajamas and head into the bathroom for a quick shower to unwind.  
  
Once I'm finished I slip on my clothes and run a towel through my hair to dry it. The wetness of the locks tangle and fall around my face, as I look at myself in the mirror with a soft, sad smile. It's a messy look, but I personally think it looks cute.  
  
I open the bathroom door, feeling the cool air hitting my lungs as I head into Jack's room.  
  
Immediately as I step through the doorway, his eyes open to meet mine. "You smell good," he muses, taking in a breath of my scent.  
  
"A shower does wonders," I tease with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, I'll say," he grins back, a dangerous dance forming between us. I feel the slow tension brewing and know if I play my cards just right, things will turn out the way I want them to.  
  
I move to take a seat beside him on the bed. "About last night---I wanted to thank you," I whisper, holding his gaze. "I wouldn't have slept nearly as good without your help."  
  
"I know how it is with cases and going over them. I just wish I would have known sooner that you were up. I would have tucked you in earlier," he bites down on his lips at his choice of words and grimaces.  
  
I laugh softly, trying to break the tension and hear the doorbell. Jack moves off the bed, answering the door to see the Chinese food already here.  
  
"You're favorite," he eyes me with a smile, as he pulls out the containers of dinner and we start in.  
  
We take a seat at the small table in his hotel room, grabbing forks and spoons to dish out the food. "Did you call Eva yet?" Jack eyes me curiously as I begin eating.  
  
"Yeah, last night. She's doing good," I answer.  
  
"She looking for a job?"  
  
"She's supposed to be," I smile in response. "Who knows where she's going to work, though," I laugh softly. "How's Maria?" Jack's eyes glance at the food on his plate, his fork turning the noodles as he ponders how to answer. "Jack?"  
  
"Things haven't been so good lately."  
  
"I figured that when she called me on Christmas," I remind him. "You want to talk about it?"  
  
"What's there to talk about? It's an on-again, off-again marriage. Although it's her decision to be this way, she also accuses me of having an affair every time we're 'off' again."  
  
"There's got to be some way to make it up to her."  
  
Jack shakes his head no. "It's not about that. She doesn't agree with the work I do anymore. She thinks it's too time consuming and doesn't understand the dedication it takes to do a job."  
  
"Have you tried talking to her?" I whisper, finally catching his gaze.  
  
"That's the hardest part," he answers with a sigh.  
  
"When I come home at night, it's like talking to a brick wall. All we ever do is fight. I'm fed up with it and I'm out of ideas."  
  
"Jack, I know you want this to work out. Maybe there's other options."  
  
"Like what?" he eyes me intently.  
  
"Marriage counseling?"  
  
"Yeah," he scoffs at the idea. "We tried that. It became too expensive when I couldn't make the appointments because of the job," he lets out a sigh.  
  
"Maybe you should try and find a job that requires less of you. If that's what your marriage needs," I offer.  
  
His eyes glance up into mine. "Maybe," he shrugs, "but this is what I do. This is what I live for." He shakes his head no. "That makes me sound like such a horrible person."  
  
"You're not," I tell him, taking his hand in mine.  
  
"Yes, I am. I've betrayed my wife, I've failed my children."  
  
"Jack," I stop him from such horrible thoughts. "You've done nothing wrong."  
  
"How can you say that? You of all people?" His eyes tear up.  
  
"I don't feel guilty about what we did," I tell him, "and neither should you."  
  
"It was an affair!" he reminds me.  
  
"That's all that it was," I point out. He looks slightly confused, perhaps even hurt. "Wouldn't it have been worse going to a prostitute? Or finding someone at a bar to sleep with for sex? At least you found something you weren't getting at home."  
  
"Sam, don't make this about me," he shakes his head no.  
  
"It is about you, Jack. You deserve all those things, you have a right to be happy."  
  
"You can't ask me to leave her."  
  
"I wouldn't," I answer him. "I would never want to live with that decision," I remind him. "You're dying inside, though, and I see it, Jack."  
  
He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of such thoughts. "It's because of you," he answers as I see his walls crumbling down. I'm not sure if I should feel hurt, ashamed, or used by his words.  
  
"Jack," I whisper, moving my hand over his.  
  
"If I'd have never fallen in love with you, I wouldn't be dying inside with Maria." His eyes are red with tears and he drops my hand and moves to the bathroom to hide his face.  
  
I feel awful inside, but there's nothing I can do to comfort him---not really. What I want to do will only cause me more pain and make it harder to get over him. I bite down on my lower lip and the ultimate decision I need to make.  
  
"Jack?" I knock softly on his bathroom door and hear him unlock it and step out. His tears have mostly dried. It's rare to see him cry, and every time it breaks my heart. I pull him into my arms, soaking in his body and trying to give him what he so desperately needs---love.  
  
I feel his head falling into my chest. "Sam," he breathes out, his tears soaking through my tank top as he holds me close against him.  
  
We move to sit down on the bed and he pulls me to lie down beside him. I feel my stomach in turmoil at the intensity and repercussions this might have. His body nestles along mine, as my hands feel over his back, soothing his breathing.  
  
I glance down to see his eyes dry and his face red. "How did you do it?" He breathes out, his mouth so close and entirely out of reach, given the context of our emotional bond.  
  
"Do what?" I whisper, running my hand through his hair, smiling softly at its length.  
  
"If you really loved me, how did you manage to get over me? I can't for the world forget about you," he tells me.  
  
"Jack, I never forgot about you," I reassure him. "There's things I want now that you won't offer me and I need to look to someone who can."  
  
"Like Martin?" He grimaces at his name and I feel my stomach plummet as well. This feels so right, being in Jack's arms, and yet I know in the morning this will likely never happen again. Do I allow myself to love him one more night and take the chance I'll have longer to wait to get over him?  
  
I smile softly, feeling my heart torn in two directions, and neither feeling the 'right' course of action. "Jack," I press a soft kiss to his cheek and his eyes momentarily close before meeting mine. "Sometimes the only way to move on is to let go."  
  
"Is that what you did?" He eyes me with sad sorrow-filled eyes.  
  
"I--" the words are lost on me and I let out a soft sigh and pause before continuing. "I usually keep from becoming attached to people, Jack, you know that."  
  
"That wasn't the case with me, though, was it?" His eyes hold curiosity and fear that I was only using him as a pawn in such an elaborate game.  
  
"Of course not. You were different. The few I did become attached to I learned to get over because I honestly ended up hating them. It was the only way I could see that I was doing something for the best---letting go."  
  
"So you hated me then?"  
  
"No," I laugh softly, "I could never hate you, Jack. You're the exception."  
  
"So, then how'd you get over me?" His eyes grow heavy from the pain he's endured not from just today, but from his lifetime.  
  
I smile in response, giving him a soft, brief kiss on the lips before pulling a blanket over him and shutting off the light. He lay there, beneath the covers, and doesn't move. I'm not sure if he's asleep just yet, but he doesn't ask me to stay, so I don't.  
  
I grab the cartons and toss them on my way back to my room.  
  
I leave the door ajar, letting Jack come to me during the night if he needs to. I quickly change tops, since the one I'm wearing is soaked through and I slip into bed and close my eyes with a soft breath. 


	28. Chapter 28

I leave the door ajar, letting Jack come to me during the night if he needs to. I quickly change tops, since the one I'm wearing is soaked through and I slip into bed and close my eyes with a soft breath.  
  
****  
  
A few minutes pass and I hear a soft rap outside my door. I slip out of bed, glancing through the peephole, to see Martin. I feel myself growing nervous and quickly head to the adjoining door, to shut it quietly, before opening the front door.  
  
"Hey," I whisper, surprised to see him over here.  
  
"Did Jack tell you he called us in?"  
  
"Yeah. He's sleeping right now, though," I state softly, hinting for Martin to keep his voice down.  
  
"Oh," he nods moving inside and shutting the door behind him. "I heard the news."  
  
"Yeah, tough case. It'll be even worse if we don't find out who did it."  
  
"It's no longer our case," Martin reminds me.  
  
"I know. Jack talked about calling into the station in the morning to see if they needed any extra hands on board, or if they had anything for us to look into."  
  
"Is that such a good idea?"  
  
"I think we have a right to know. Besides, I think it would be best if one of us told the family rather then some stranger."  
  
"And we're not strangers?" Martin muses.  
  
"You know what I mean," I roll my eyes and take a seat on my bed. "Where's the rest of the team staying?"  
  
"I'm next door to you; too bad we're not adjoining," he grins and I laugh softly, shaking my head.  
  
"What about Vivian and Danny?"  
  
"They're two doors apart. Apparently someone else came up here to stay the night. Who'd have thought that?"  
  
"Oh, Martin," I breathe out, shaking my head with a laugh as he moves to take a seat on my bed.  
  
"I missed working with you. It's not as much fun flirting with Danny," he grins as I shake my head in amusement. "How are you and Jack working out?" His eyes meet mine and I have no time to lie.  
  
"It's been hard, but we're managing," I answer honestly.  
  
"Hard as in he's giving you a hard time? I can talk to him if you want."  
  
"No," I shake my head. "He's going through a rough time with Maria. I was trying to offer him advice, but I doubt he'll take it."  
  
"What'd you tell him?"  
  
"Pretty much if the job's killing his marriage and he wants his marriage to work, then he's got to ditch his job."  
  
"Ouch," Martin winces. "How'd he take it?"  
  
"I'm not really sure," I answer. "He went to sleep and I came back in here to shower."  
  
"Must have been a while ago." He fingers his hand in my hair and the long ends are still wet, while the rest is mostly dry.  
  
"Yeah," I nod in response, feeling slightly transfixed by his hand in my hair. The feelings I had for Jack less than an hour ago haven't dissolved, and my body is still craving to be touched. I feel guilty using Martin in such a way and even worse---in a sense--- for betraying Jack, even if he did end it between us.  
  
I lie back against the mattress, gesturing for Martin to come up beside me. He unlaces his shoes and crawls onto the bed, moving onto his side to face me.  
  
I rest on my back, staring up at the ceiling and feel Martin's gaze on me. "What are you thinking about?"  
  
"What's going to happen tomorrow," I state.  
  
He eyes me to go on, but I don't want to---not really anyways. I yearn to be with Jack, but he's stated the obvious: we can't be together even if we wanted to. I can't live my life as a lie, hiding from the world and pretending to just be working together.  
  
"Samantha, what's the worst that could happen?"  
  
"You could break my heart," I whisper, thinking how Jack crushed me and I've still yet to get over him.  
  
"You'd probably break mine first," he answers with a soft laugh. I glance up into his eyes, realizing that it just might be the case someday if I don't return the sentimental three words I don't feel for him. "Samantha, you've done a lot more for a lot less."  
  
"Gee thanks," I sit up angrily.  
  
"That came out wrong," he grimaces.  
  
"I know what you meant," I answer bitterly. "Please leave."  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"NOW!" My voice rises and my eyes grow fierce before Martin takes the hint and ushers himself out of my room.  
  
I curl onto my bed, feeling tears pour from my eyes as my body shakes with sobs. I can't control my breathing and feel myself growing breathless from the emotional turmoil. I feel warm hands around me and immediately shake them away. "I told you to go away."  
  
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice and roll around to see his sleepy form with a hand on my shoulder. "Mind if sit down?" I make room for him, feeling him pull me into his embrace as I rest my head in the crook of his neck, letting the floodgates open. "Shhh," he whispers, his hands running soft circles over my back as I try and catch my breath.  
  
"Jack," I breathe out between tears, feeling my heart ache and my head heavy. I feel his cool hand on my forehead, trying to calm me down as he presses soft kisses to my head and cheeks.  
  
"Shhh," he tells me, "it's okay." I feel him gently rock me in a coaxing mechanism and I laugh slightly from the absurdity of the gesture. "What?" He eyes me, probably thinking I've lost it as he kisses away a few more tears. "You want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really," I answer, slightly embarrassed by the conversation I had with Martin. Embarrassed that Martin and perhaps the others see me in such an awful light. I roll out from Jack's arms, moving to lie back on the pillows.  
  
My eyes are filled with pain as I glance towards the wall where Martin resides. How could I have been so stupid? I shake my head and feel more tears making their way to the surface.  
  
Jack slides further onto the bed and helps me slip beneath the covers. "You should get some rest." His eyes look filled with pain as well and that alone breaks my heart. "Whatever happened," Jack leans down to press a kiss to my forehead, "it'll be forgotten."  
  
"No it won't," I answer soundly. "He said something I can never forgive, not if that's what he thinks of me."  
  
"Who? Martin?"  
  
I nod my head as Jack puts the pieces together. "Are they here?" I nod my head as he comprehends what's going on. He presses a soft kiss to my lips before shutting off the light.  
  
"Don't go," I whisper out in a hush.  
  
"Sam, I have to."  
  
"Please," I practically beg aloud.  
  
"All right. Can you give me two minutes?"  
  
I nod my head and feel him give me another kiss before he slips back into his room and I hear the front door shut. "Shit," I gasp out, realizing he's going to find Martin and talk to him. Not a good idea. I bury my head in the pillow to keep the muffled voices between the paper-thin walls from my ears. Their tones grow louder between one another before I hear someone knocking on Martin's door and a third voice interfering. It sounds like Vivian. I tug the blanket tightly to my body, and a minute or so later I hear Jack's door open.  
  
He comes into the room, shutting off the light and slipping between the covers. "I talked to him."  
  
"What'd you say?"  
  
"I told him he needed to think about whatever it is he did to upset you, because tomorrow you'll have to work together."  
  
I groan and feel Jack's hand move to my hip. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. Promise me something."  
  
"Hmmmm?"  
  
"If you ever do decide to get married and have kids, you won't settle. I want you to find someone you're madly in love with."  
  
"Jack," I whisper.  
  
"That was the mistake I made when I was younger. I rushed into getting married because I thought I wouldn't find anyone else. I needed someone and so I found Maria. I didn't realize the outcome it could have on my life. Just promise me," he pauses, "that you'll find someone who appreciates you, loves you, and worships you."  
  
"That might be hard," I answer with a soft, sad smile as I cuddle into his frame before falling into a light, yet warm and comfortable sleep. 


	29. Chapter 29

"That might be hard," I answer with a soft, sad smile as I cuddle into his frame before falling into a light, yet warm and comfortable sleep.  
  
*****  
  
My eyes open as the early morning light shines in. I glance over at the clock, knowing we should be getting up soon but not wanting to break from his warm grasp. Sometime during the night, Jack's leg managed to tangle between mine, and it feels incredibly erotic. His hand rests just below my lower back, holding me close.  
  
If we had made love the previous night, I know the perfect way to have awakened him. However, since that didn't happen, I can only imagine what it would have been like if we would have taken our time---and devoured one another.  
  
"Sam," I hear his groggy voice and I'm not sure if he's awake or asleep. A minute or so later, his eyes open and his hand that rested on me drops to his side, and he turns away from me and sits up in bed.  
  
"Jack, what is it?" I rest my hand on his upper back, wanting him to come back into bed with me or, at the very least, tell me what's going on.  
  
"Just a dream," he muses, standing up and heading for his room.  
  
"Oh," I whisper. Was he dreaming of Maria and him finally getting back together the way he wants? Was that why he seemed disappointed to see me?  
  
I slip out of bed and grab my duffel bag before heading into the bathroom to shower and get ready. Once I'm done, I pack my things and head into Jack's room to see him sitting on his bed and talking on the phone.  
  
He nods towards me and within the next few minutes Vivian, Danny, and Martin join us.  
  
Jack finally hangs up the phone and glances towards all of us. "The local PD sent us the information they found from the body. It appears there are red paint chips found on the body. After careful analysis, the car we're looking for is a 1964 Mustang in the shade candy apple red."  
  
"That shouldn't be too hard to find," I point out.  
  
"They're running the information through DMV; we're just waiting on the output." Jack glances towards Vivian. "In the meantime, they've called the parents to come and identify the body. They should be here within the hour. We need a positive ID before we head home. I checked in with Van Doren and she agreed that we should give any assistance to the local authorities that they might need." Jack's eyes meet Martin's and then mine. "Danny, I want you and Vivian to head over to the bar. Find out if anyone knows whose Mustang it is. Maybe you'll find yourselves a witness to the crime also."  
  
"How did the boy die?" I question.  
  
"Forensics is still working on it. The initial trauma was from the car's impact, but that wasn't the force that killed Damon. We've yet to find out why he went farther into the woods as well."  
  
"Trying to get away from someone," I suggest as Martin's eyes meet mine.  
  
"Martin and Samantha, I'd like to have a word with you two in private." Danny and Viv exchange glances before heading out the door.  
  
I cross my arms defensively, not sure what Jack is going to do or say.  
  
"I'm tempted to put you both together and send you out into the field, but I'm concerned what you have going on will get in the way."  
  
"There's nothing going on," I reiterate.  
  
"That may be the case, Samantha," Jack's eyes stare into mine, "but you're obviously angry with him. I'm concerned about both of your judgments out in the field, especially working along side one another."  
  
"What do you suggest?" I question, never glancing once over at Martin.  
  
"There's a team building seminar next week," Jack's eyes meet Martin's. "I wanted to send you there after what went down with the Reyes incident. I've been wavering back and forth with sending you there, Sam."  
  
I let out an annoyed breath, shaking my head no slightly. "All because of last night?" My eyes glare into Jack's.  
  
"It's been three, almost four years since you've been to any seminars," Jack reminds me. "It doesn't hurt to freshen up."  
  
"Oh come on," I groan, "this is ridiculous. I can't do my job at a workshop," I point out. "They can't teach you how to find a missing person and save their life. It's pointless to go and--" his eyes tell me to shut up. "Fine," I breathe out, "but can I go in the summer?"  
  
"No. I want you both to attend together. You know how a lot of these workshops are, Sam," Jack's voice rings in my ear as I nod, remembering how Jack and I went to one together once. Often times during the seminars the situations become hands on, and it helps if you have someone from your own team---someone you can learn to put trust in.  
  
"Is it going to be overnight?" I grimace.  
  
"No, the one that's being funded next week is being held on the second floor at the Bureau. It'll be during normal office hours, so that week you won't be assigned any cases."  
  
"You're going to need an extra hand," I remind him.  
  
"The three of us can manage; we've done it before," Jack answers. "In the meantime, Martin, I want you to head down to the morgue and be with the family when they identify the body. I want you to call me the minute you have a positive ID."  
  
Martin leaves the hotel room and I move closer to Jack.  
  
"I can't believe you," I shake my head in dismay. "You really think I need to go to a team building seminar?"  
  
"I think Martin needs to go and someone from the team needs to go with him."  
  
"So then you go, or send Danny or Viv."  
  
"Sam," his eyes meet mine, "we both know why I chose you to go with him."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head no, "there's nothing going on between Martin and myself."  
  
"That's not what I'm talking about. Ever since you were shot, some of the judgment calls you've made concern me. You haven't done anything out of line, but now that you're angry with Martin, I'm worried your emotions could very easily get in the way."  
  
"And yours didn't?" My eyes bore into his, remembering the incident in the bookstore.  
  
"That was different."  
  
"Right," I scoff, grabbing the sealed file from his bed. "You ready?" He nods and opens the front door, walking with me to his car. "Where to?" I question, exchanging the keys for the file.  
  
"The police station. I want to pay Detective Connor a visit and see what they've turned up." 


	30. Chapter 30

"Right," I scoff, grabbing the sealed file from his bed. "You ready?" He nods and opens the front door, walking with me to his car. "Where to?" I question, exchanging the keys for the file.  
  
"The police station. I want to pay Detective Connor a visit and see what they've turned up."  
  
******  
  
We arrive in less than twenty minutes, and Jack is in professional mode, pretending last night never happened between us.  
  
I want to address it, but I know right now isn't the best time.  
  
We step inside and Jack waves down Connor. I follow behind only seconds later to hear my cell phone. "Excuse me," I smile politely. "Agent Spade," I answer.  
  
"Samantha, its Vivian. We've got something you should look into."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"One of the guys he was with has a candy apple red mustang," she tells me. "His name's Pete Sanders. I've got an address for you too--"  
  
"I actually have his address." I open the small notebook that I use for jotting down information and see his name as one of the roommates in the apartment who went partying the night Damon disappeared. "I'll look into it." I hang up the phone and head towards Jack.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"Actually, yeah, we might have a break in the case." I relay Jack the information and Detective Connor joins us in interrogating Pete Sanders.  
  
We make it to the parking lot, glancing around for the red car. I point towards it, parking a few feet away and we take a walk around the vehicle. "Paint's chipping," I observe as the three of us head towards the apartment building. "Think that's enough to get us a warrant?"  
  
"It's on public property," Connor answers, dialing his cell phone. Jack and I make our way up to the front door.  
  
"Pete Sanders, we're with the FBI," I knock briskly, announcing who we are. My hand rests over my gun as I hear the back door squeaking and footsteps pounding down the wooden stairs out back.  
  
Our eyes light up as Jack shouts to Connor, "He's going out the back!" The detective heads on over as Jack and I run down the stairs to catch up.  
  
"Not so fast!" I hear the detective's loud voice booming as I watch Pete fall to the ground on his stomach, his hands struggling behind his back as cuffs are mounted on him.  
  
"Son of a bitch," he twists and turns, trying to break free. The detective shoves him into the back of the car, as we hear another unit rounding the corner for backup.  
  
I walk off, with Jack trailing behind me.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"To check the dumpster for any more evidence."  
  
"You might as well wait, Sam. The crime scene unit will be here in no time; let them do the dirty work." His hand rests on my arm, stopping me from walking any farther.  
  
"And the warrant?"  
  
"It's on the way. Connor's taking Sanders to the station where his men will interrogate him. Our job here is done."  
  
"We still don't know the exact cause of death," I remind him, "and why was he running into the forest?"  
  
"Hopefully, he'll make a confession and answer those questions."  
  
"And if not?" I meet his eyes. "We're still left with so many uncertainties. What justice will his family have when they find out?"  
  
Jack's cell phone interrupts us. "Malone," he answers and lets out a soft sigh. "Yeah, we figured that. Meet us at the police station." Jack hangs up the phone. "That was Martin. The family identified the body as Damon Relic."  
  
"That's no surprise."  
  
"Come on," he escorts me to the car and in no time we're back at the station. "I'm going to go interrogate him. You wait here," he tells me. I eye him curiously; why doesn't he want me involved? I shake the notion and watch behind the one-way mirror.  
  
I feel Martin's presence beside me and then realize why Jack wanted me here. "Samantha, I'm sorry about what I said."  
  
"Don't," I tell him, crossing my arms and watching as Jack's voice rises and Pete fails to answer any questions. It won't matter much anyhow, as he'll be going to jail for murder.  
  
Jack exits the interrogation room, his eyes meeting Martin's first and then mine. "Didn't get much out of him. It's too bad," he states. "We might have been able to get a plea-bargain for the kid. Instead he'll rot away in a four-by-four jail cell for the next twenty years."  
  
"Did anyone call Vivian and Danny?"  
  
"They're on their way here," Martin answers. "I'll go check." He slips out of the room and Jack's eyes stare at the suspect through the glass.  
  
"We can't save them all," I remind him, taking his hand in an intimate gesture.  
  
"I know that," he bluntly states, dropping my hand and crossing the room. He closes the file and signs off on the interrogation before opening the door. "It's back to the city," he comments, his eyes finally coming up to meet mine.  
  
I see something behind his dark hues and I'm not sure what it is. Could it be regret from something so innocent? I let out a breath, leaving Jack in his thoughts while I head out of the room to see Martin, Viv, and Danny standing around.  
  
"So that's it?" Danny shrugs.  
  
"Unless he gives us a statement contradicting the evidence, that's all we have to go on."  
  
"Is it enough to lock him away?"  
  
I nod my head as Danny and Viv exchange glances and Jack steps towards us. "You're free to head home," Jack tells them.  
  
"Thanks," Vivian breathes out, her voice never betraying her. Vivian and Danny head into one car while Martin eyes me.  
  
"You want a ride back?" He offers, "I'll even let you drive."  
  
"Gee thanks," I quip.  
  
"Listen, Samantha, I'm sorry about what I said."  
  
"I know, but it doesn't make it hurt any less."  
  
"You know I'd never want to do anything to upset you."  
  
"I know," I nod with a soft, sad sigh and see Jack standing uncomfortably beside us. "I just need some time, okay?"  
  
Martin nods and I follow Jack out to his car. "Do you mind if I drive back with you?" I ask Jack.  
  
"I thought you'd take Martin up on his offer."  
  
I shake my head no, "Unless you don't want me with you?"  
  
"Here," he hands me the keys as we slip into his car.  
  
After an hour into the drive, we haven't said much to one another. I honestly don't know what to say. Last night we finally started to break through this wall that's been built between us, and now its back up in place.  
  
He pulls out his phone, dialing the number but staring at it for a good minute before hitting send.  
  
"Yeah, it's me," his voice sounds tired and sad and it makes my heart break. He's quiet for a minute. I don't seem to hear Maria talking, but maybe she's a quiet person on the phone. "I'll be home tonight. I should be there by seven," he answers with a sigh. "Yes," he pauses waiting another minute, "I'll be home," he repeats with gruffness in his voice that sends a chill down my spine. He hangs up the phone and leaves it in his hands as he stares at the small metal object.  
  
I glance over in his direction. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I could have had Martin drive me back so you could get home to your family."  
  
"An extra half hour won't kill them," he muses.  
  
"Jack," my voice is soft and attentive, concern etched on my face as my eyes meet his briefly. "What happened this morning?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Things seemed all right for us last night and when we woke up, you seemed really different, like you were ashamed of what we did."  
  
"Ashamed?" He laughs and shakes his head at my words.  
  
"There's nothing wrong in holding someone." I move my hand to his and he snaps his away, burning mine on contact.  
  
"You don't get it! I'm married," his voice screams at me and I shift slightly away and hit my foot to the gas, wanting to get home sooner.  
  
A minute or so passes and Jack lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Samantha," he tells me, resting his hand above mine on the steering wheel.  
  
"Don't be. You're right; what was I thinking," I answer with a shrug, inwardly criticizing myself for still allowing myself to love an unattainable man. How many times must I feel crushed and broken before I learn?  
  
"Sam," his voice is soft and he squeezes my hand before I shake his away.  
  
"Just don't," I warn him, feeling my inner defenses building and my outer walls tumbling.  
  
He lets out a sigh and glances out the window. He's quiet for a good five minutes and my mind races with what he's thinking about. I feel as though my temper has finally cooled down a bit when he speaks up.  
  
"It was the dream."  
  
"Excuse me?" My eyes glance towards his before looking back at the road.  
  
"This morning," he answers, "what got me so worked up and gave me this nasty attitude all day."  
  
"Jack, you don't have to explain," I give him the easy way out, probably because I'm afraid of what he'll tell me.  
  
"In my dream I wanted to be with you, Sam, and you flat out refused. You told me you moved on and it was too late because I couldn't give you what he could. You were angry with me and vowed never to speak to me again," he pauses, letting out a breath. "And the worst part was---I caught you having sex with Martin on my desk."  
  
I can't help but laugh softly at the absurdity of his dream and glance over towards him.  
  
"You don't have to worry about that happening," I eye him intently. "It's more likely I'd shoot him than have sex with him," I quip.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"I know," I gesture towards him, "you want us to go to that stupid team building seminar to work through all this." I let out a soft groan. "It won't make any bit of difference. My anger towards him won't go away for something he said, and it doesn't make me a less qualified agent for being this way."  
  
"I never implied that," he nods. "I just don't want it to affect your judgment."  
  
"And it won't," I remind him. "If the situation called for it, I'd save Martin's life and risk my own if I had to. I'd do it for any one of you guys, even if I didn't agree with a comment or something someone did. Jack," I glance towards him, "my judgment wasn't affected on this case and it very well could have easily been, since I was pissed as shit with you for looking at my personal file." I eye him seriously and then the road.  
  
"You're right," he nods, letting out a breath and considering the fact.  
  
"Is there any chance you can spare me the lectures and week of the seminar?" I eye him sadly, giving him my best-defeated expression.  
  
"On one condition."  
  
"What's that?" My eyes rise in curiosity.  
  
"Since Lisa Harris won't be back for some time---if not indefinitely---I want you to see someone else. It doesn't have to be at the Bureau, though," he points out.  
  
"Thanks," I quip, "another expense to add to my growing collection."  
  
"You can submit it to your expense account."  
  
"I don't think Van Doren will accept it."  
  
"Then I'll cover it."  
  
"Jack, you have two daughters who need your money more than I do."  
  
"Samantha, I want you to talk to someone, and I think you might be more inclined to be open and honest with someone who doesn't have the connections that Lisa Harris had."  
  
"There's nothing that's bothering me," I shrug. "Besides, I've got Eva, who's a great ear."  
  
Jack nods and his eyes watch mine study the road.  
  
"Sam, promise me if you even so much as start feeling upset about something, you'll see someone. Or, at the very least, come to me. Maybe I can help." I hear his heart in his words and I nod softly, letting out a warm breath.  
  
"Thanks, Jack."  
  
"I mean it," he tells me. "I'll let you out of the seminar if you can manage working with Martin again. I know you don't want to forgive him, and I don't know what he said so I can't," he pauses, "and I wouldn't want to get in the middle." I laugh, realizing he's in over his head already. "Just let it go. You can be pissed at him on your own time, but while at the Bureau you have to forgive and forget---or else it'll eat away at you."  
  
"I know," I nod letting out a soft breath. "He was just being a jerk."  
  
"Can I ask what he said?" Jack eyes me curiously as I let out a breath, considering whether or not to tell him.  
  
"To sum it up, we were talking intimately and he pretty much did a Freudian slip on what he thinks of me."  
  
"What'd he say?"  
  
"That I've done a lot more for a lot less." I breathe out Martin's words, hearing the chant in my head. "He couldn't understand how I wanted to take things slow after all I've been through lately. I gave in once and he just expected it every other time. I couldn't do it again," I shake my head, feeling tears rise to my eyes, "I couldn't lie to myself any longer," I whisper, wiping my face as I feel Jack's hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Sam, in no way have you ever shown that to me, and I know you best out of everyone at the Bureau." I feel his hand moving my hair from my neck as his cool fingers touch my skin.  
  
"I know," I whisper, "it just hurt though. I trusted him and that's what I was worried about---letting someone in---and look what he did."  
  
I shake my head, wanting to collapse into Jack's arms and cry till there's no more tears left. I can't, though, not if we want to get home tonight and not if he has any intention of going home to Maria.  
  
"Sometimes people hurt each other, even when you love someone."  
  
"I never loved him," I whisper. "It was always you Jack, always has been, always will be."  
  
"Sam," his voice breaks and I'm not sure what's running through his mind.  
  
"I know I can't be with you and I wouldn't want what we had. I was trying so desperately to forget how much I loved you and I jumped into something without looking. I was blind to the world and was praying that if I jumped, I'd fly---not fall."  
  
"You didn't know--" he reminds me, his warm thumb drying the remaining tears on my face.  
  
"I should have," I answer. "It doesn't matter now, though."  
  
"Yes it does. You matter."  
  
"No," I shake my head, "I'll get through this. It's stupid really. I didn't even love him and I'm crying over it. I don't get it," I shake my head.  
  
"I do," he whispers. "You're going through what I've been dealing with." I glance in his direction briefly. "You're still trying to get over us," he reminds me.  
  
I nod absently and let out a soft breath.  
  
"If it makes you feel any better, things in my house haven't been exactly smooth sailing. Christmas Eve, Maria took the girls to her parents. I didn't even see her until we met at the restaurant, when I saw you and Martin there."  
  
"Oh," I whisper, "well at least she'll be home tonight," I smile sadly. "For New Year's," I remind him, squeezing his hand and putting both back on the steering wheel.  
  
"It's not what I look forward to, though," he tells me. I glance his way, curious as to the meaning of his words. "Most people want to come home at the end of the night; I'd rather stay at the office---" he pauses "---well, that is until I had that dream with you and Martin on the desk."  
  
"Jack," I groan, as I see a smile playing on his lips and one barely on mine.  
  
We pull in front of my apartment and Jack glances towards me intently. "Eva has my car. I hope I won't get you into too much trouble getting you home twenty minutes early," I answer. Jack eyes me thoughtfully before I step out of his car. He glances down at the gold chain on my neck and his finger moves to the material, looking for the double hearts. "I couldn't wear it," I tell him, "with Martin and then work; it would be too much. Too many questions," I remind him. "I still have it, though."  
  
He nods his head softly. I'm not sure if he's hurt or not.  
  
"Thanks for bringing me with you on this trip," I tell him, unlocking the door and turning around to grab my duffel bag. "I know it wasn't at all like old times and it can never be again, but I at least didn't dread seeing you. I can't say the same for the other guys I got involved with."  
  
I shut my mouth, fearing I've said too much. He's staring at me and I feel my stomach somersault at his quietness.  
  
"Well, goodnight and have a happy new year," I tell him, slipping out of the car and making my way up to my front door, waiting for Eva to answer it. 


	31. Chapter 31

"Well, goodnight and have a happy new year," I tell him, slipping out of the car and making my way up to my front door, waiting for Eva to answer it.  
  
*****  
  
"Samantha," I see her face light up as she greets me with open arms and a hug. "I missed you," she tells me sincerely.  
  
"Yeah, I could have used you around the past couple of days."  
  
"What happened?" She takes my hand, ushering me to sit down on the sofa beside her.  
  
"So much," I whisper. "Why aren't you out on New Year's Eve?" I question.  
  
"I didn't really have anyone to go with and being alone really isn't any fun." She lets out a sigh and eyes me. "Tell me about your trip; start from the beginning."  
  
I let out a sigh and two hours later finish telling her the final details of my conversation with Jack in the car.  
  
"Wow," she whispers, running her hand over her tired face. "And he went home to her?"  
  
"Yeah," I nod sadly. "I don't know what to do anymore."  
  
"Do you love Martin?"  
  
"Love," I repeat in a soft whisper and shake my head. "No," I answer. "I care about him like I did any of the guys I was with, but I just don't feel what I did with Jack."  
  
"How are you going to deal with Martin tomorrow?"  
  
"Do what Jack said, forgive and forget while at work, but I won't allow myself to open up to him---not again."  
  
"And what about opening up to someone else?"  
  
"I'm telling you this, aren't I?"  
  
"I meant another guy," Eva quips.  
  
"In time, I will," I answer. "Right now I think I need a break from the male species."  
  
"Don't we all?" she laughs softly.  
  
"I thought you never had a boyfriend," I eye Eva curiously.  
  
"I've gone out on dates; nothing ever came of it, though," she tells me. "I guess you could say I felt the same way you did with Martin. Interested in being friends, but I wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted to feel needed." Eva gently takes my hand. "I mean that in a sincere way."  
  
"I know," I nod with a sad smile. "It's late," I eye the clock. "I haven't eaten anything in quite a while."  
  
"Want me to order a pizza?"  
  
I cringe at the thought of any more takeout. "Did you save the leftovers?" I question.  
  
"From dinner? Yeah, there's some food in the fridge. Help yourself." Eva tells me, and I stand up, grabbing something to eat.  
  
Eva joins me at the table while I start in on the food.  
  
"Can I give you my opinion?"  
  
"I'm not sure I want it, but go ahead." I tell her, taking a bite of my food and listening in.  
  
"Jack's marriage is obviously crumbling. If his wife called you to check up on him and is nagging him relentlessly," Eva lets out a soft breath, "it's only a matter of time."  
  
"I don't think so," I shake my head softly. "He wouldn't let her go."  
  
"He let you go," she points out. "I don't mean anything by it, but he won't have a choice when she hands him the divorce papers."  
  
"She's not going to do that."  
  
"What makes you say that?" Eva eyes me seriously.  
  
"She needs him as much as he needs her."  
  
"Did he tell you that?"  
  
"No," I whisper, "I sort of figured as much. They cling to each other, or else why are they still together," I state.  
  
"You mentioned he's got kids. Is he worried what they'll think of him? Or maybe he thinks he'll lose custody or only see them on holidays."  
  
"He wouldn't stay married for the sake of his children," I state more to myself than to Eva. "Would he?" I question the idea aloud. If he is, then there really is no chance of us ever getting back together because he would never want to hurt his children and neither would I.  
  
I finish my plate and clean up the dishes. "I'm going to head for bed." Eva eyes me, "Don't worry too much about seeing Martin tomorrow. If anything, he's the one who should feel uncomfortable after what he said to you. You deserve someone better." She gives me a hug goodnight and I turn off the lights, heading into my own bedroom.  
  
I slip on my pajamas and climb into bed, listening to the wind whipping against the windows. I close my eyes, hoping to dream of being in Jack's arms and know even if I can't have him, at least I can live in my dreams.  
  
I toss and turn all night, having only one dream I vaguely remember and that is of Jack crying. As I awaken in the morning from the alarm clock, I roll out of bed, groggy as ever.  
  
I head into the shower, waking myself up and I quickly get dressed to head into the office for an hour or two, to look things over.  
  
I leave Eva a note, telling her I needed the car but we'd try to work something out for when she finds a job, even if it's mass transit.  
  
I make my way into work, seeing Jack glancing over a file. "Sam," he catches my attention and I head towards him. "I still never got your report from the Harris case."  
  
I groan out, remembering I never did it but Martin managed to write something up. I feel awful going to Martin for it, so instead I head to my computer. "I'll work on it now," I tell him, pulling out the file from my desk drawer and typing as quickly as I can.  
  
"Now?" Jack's eyes stare at me as he follows me to the computer.  
  
I let out a sigh, chewing on my lower lip. "I can't work on it with you staring over my shoulder, Jack."  
  
Less than an hour later, I head into Jack's office with the report in hand. "You wanted this," I remind him, dropping it on his desk in front of him. He's staring into oblivion and I watch his face as he barely recognizes I've stepped foot into his office. "Jack?"  
  
He glances up, startled to see I've come inside. "Sorry," he glances down at the file I've put in front of him. "This is it?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty much," I answer. "Jack, did you sleep at all last night?" I eye him and see the dark circles and the wrinkled suit.  
  
"Yeah, but not comfortably."  
  
"What happened?" I take a seat across from him, giving him my full attention.  
  
"Maria---" he pauses shaking his head "---things still aren't going well between us."  
  
"You were home early," I remind him and he laughs at the words.  
  
"That I was."  
  
"Did something happen, Jack?"  
  
He nods with closed eyes before looking into mine. "She offered to take Hannah to her friend's place for New Year's Eve. I handed her my car keys and when she got in, Hannah found your scrunchie. When she got home, she asked if we slept together. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't lie to her, so I told her the truth. She thought it was worse to have held you than to have slept with you," he laughs at the words as they slip from his tongue. "We probably shouldn't even be having this conversation here," he states. "She kicked me out, Samantha."  
  
"Did you go to a hotel?" I question.  
  
"I wanted to but I didn't figure there'd be any vacancies," he shakes his head, "I came by the office; been here all night."  
  
"Jack, no wonder you look like hell. You need some sleep."  
  
"I know," he nods, running his hand along his forehead and through his hair. "I can't go home, though, and a hotel is just so."  
  
"Lonely?"  
  
"Official," he whispers. "It just reminds me that my marriage is doomed."  
  
"It's not," I offer him the kind words, leaning towards him to rest my hands above his, that now rest on the desk. "You can take my keys and go sleep at my place for a few hours. I can only offer you my bed, because Eva is in the guestroom."  
  
"Sam, I can't."  
  
"Jack, we're friends," my eyes meet his. "You need your sleep, and you're the only one who can manage the team, and keep us all in order," I tease.  
  
"Yeah," his voice is thick and gruff.  
  
I slide my keys from my pocket, pulling off my house key. "Take it," I tell him. "Just try not to scare Eva if she's home."  
  
"Sam," his voice breaks and I know he's trying to think of a logical reason why he can't go into my bed, even if it's without me. His mind isn't working logically now, though, because of the lack of sleep and the emotional toll he's enduring.  
  
"Jack, let me help you." I hand him the key, placing it into his palm. "We can manage a few hours without you here."  
  
He nods, running his hand along his face and eyeing the key. "You're right," he whispers and lets out a soft breath. "I called the rest of the team in for today. I know they're all going to hate me for it." Jack's eyes glance into mine, "will you be okay?" he eyes me.  
  
"Of course," I laugh softly. "I can deal with Martin---no sweat," I reassure him, helping him with his coat. "Can I give you money to take a cab to my place?" I offer. "I'm worried about you driving under this condition."  
  
"I'm just tired."  
  
"Please," my eyes meet his and he nods.  
  
"I have money," he answers. "You don't need to pay for me. I can handle the bill; after all, you're giving me a place to crash."  
  
"Tell me about it," I laugh softly. "Pretty soon I'll have to start charging rent. I could make a decent income," I tease.  
  
"Yeah, you could," his voice is thick and his words sound slightly slurred. I know he gets this way when he's incredibly tired.  
  
"I'll see you later. Get some sleep," I tell him, before watching him leave the office. I feel my heart sink slightly that he's going to sleep in my bed, alone. Too bad I can't be there to help him fall asleep, although I'm fairly sure he's halfway there already.  
  
I head out into the office to see Viv eyeing me. "Where'd Jack go?"  
  
"Rough night," I answer. "He didn't sleep, so he went to catch a couple hours now."  
  
Vivian nods, figuring out the reason is Maria and probably me. I don't have to tell her anything more. She knows when not to interfere and when to figure things out for herself.  
  
"Samantha," I see Martin making his way over, nodding towards me. "How was your night?"  
  
"Good," I answer soundly. "Eva's glad to have some company again," I tell him.  
  
Danny joins us over by the conference table. "I got the DNA results for your roommate," he quips. "I found her father, and you're not going to believe who he is." I eye Danny to continue. "Her supposed uncle," he informs us. "The one who was thought to have killed her Aunt Carol. Except here's the clincher: his blood and alibi saved him from a life in prison. Want to know whose blood was at the scene?"  
  
"Eva's?" I question momentarily stunned by this revelation.  
  
"That is correct," he nods, tossing me the file and the match of DNA from the scene.  
  
"So she killed Carol Hunter?" I question, putting my hand to my forehead. "There must be some confusion."  
  
"We can't say who killed her for certain, just that her blood was found in the hallway."  
  
"So, she might have been a witness," I state with a soft breath.  
  
"Either way, we need to bring her in," Vivian points out. "Do you want me to go with you, Samantha? Someone should accompany you to speak with her."  
  
"I can handle her," I assure them, pulling on my coat and grabbing my car keys.  
  
"I can tag along," Martin offers, his eyes looking pathetic as he tries to reason with me.  
  
"Danny, why don't you come," I suggest. "I just think he's better suited for this, seeing as the circumstances and how she lost her family," I point out, not wanting to hurt Martin's feelings. I still slightly care for him, just not to any intensity that I did and still do with Jack.  
  
Danny follows me down to the car and takes a seat beside me. "What happened to Jack?"  
  
"I sent him to get some rest."  
  
"Oh," Danny eyes me.  
  
"You should know, though, that Maria wanted him out and he slept at the office last night. So I offered him my bed while we're working."  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"Don't," I eye him seriously as I pull out of the parking garage. "I'm not making anything out of this," I tell him. "I'm just being a supportive friend."  
  
"He couldn't have come to Martin, Viv, or me?"  
  
"He didn't come to me," I state. "I went to him with the report and he was zoned out. I could tell he hadn't slept at all last night. When he confided in me, I offered him a key to my apartment to let him crash for a few hours."  
  
Danny nods and glances towards me. "I just don't want to see you disappointed again, Samantha."  
  
"I know," I nod softly, "don't worry about me." I tell him as we pull in front of my apartment. 


	32. Chapter 32

Danny nods and glances towards me. "I just don't want to see you disappointed again, Samantha."  
  
"I know," I nod softly, "don't worry about me." I tell him as we pull in front of my apartment.  
  
******  
  
We knock on the door, knowing it's locked and assuming both Jack and Eva are inside.  
  
Eva pulls back the door and eyes me, "I thought you had to work."  
  
"We found your father," I tell her.  
  
"You did?" Her eyes watch mine and I realize she truly has no idea. "Did you tell him about me?"  
  
"That will be your decision," I answer. "We need you to come to the office with us."  
  
"What about Jack?" She eyes me and then her gaze moves down the hall where Jack is sleeping.  
  
"He'll be there later," I offer, opening the front door and escorting her to my car. Danny follows behind us, helping her into the car while we exchange quick glances.  
  
"Can I drive us back?" he asks.  
  
"Why?" I question, but hand over the keys, giving in without any real hesitation.  
  
"I want to make a quick stop on the way back to the office. Since Jack's not there, he won't be too grumpy that we're running five minutes late."  
  
Danny's intention to stop was good, but it took us an extra twenty minutes. Thankfully, Vivian and Martin were busy when we came in and didn't notice the freshly brewed cups of coffee we brought with us.  
  
Danny and I escort Eva to the interrogation room and I pull out the chair for her to sit down.  
  
I take a sip of the hot drink, feeling it numb my mouth as I place it on the table. "Eva, you were there the night your aunt died." I eye her seriously, taking a seat on the table. My legs dangle off as my eyes watch hers.  
  
"No," she shakes her head, "I didn't know she died until you told me."  
  
"Your blood matches the DNA we found at the scene. It was a perfect match," Danny tells her.  
  
"What happened that night, Eva? If you don't tell us the truth, you'll likely go down for murder."  
  
"I didn't kill her," her voice shakes as her eyes water. "Please, Samantha, you have to believe me."  
  
"You need to start telling me the truth, damn it!" My voice grows with intensity as Eva shivers from the sound.  
  
"I was there," she nods, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I witnessed some of what happened."  
  
"You better start explaining," I stare down at her angrily.  
  
"My mother sent me to see Aunt Carol that weekend. Supposedly, Uncle Jim was going to be out of town. Well," she pauses letting out a soft sigh, "he came home early and was upset to see me there and my mom wasn't."  
  
"Then what happened?"  
  
"Uncle Jim took a tire iron he had in the drawer and pulled it out. He smacked Aunt Carol across the face with it."  
  
"And then?" Danny questions, creeping closer to have Eva divulge more.  
  
"He came after me," she whispers. "He smacked me hard and threw me into the railing on the stairs." She shows me the scar above her left eye. "He did that."  
  
"Did you go to the hospital for stitches?"  
  
"No," she shakes her head with a sigh. "I ran," she whispers. "I was so scared. My mother never raised a hand to me in my entire life. I didn't know what to do. I freaked out and caught a bus ride home."  
  
"Did you tell your mother?"  
  
"No," Eva shakes her head. "I was worried she'd blame me for upsetting Uncle Jim. She always warned me to stay away from him, and it was my own fault I didn't."  
  
I let out a soft sigh. "Was Carol unconscious when you left?"  
  
"She was mumbling for me to get out before he laid a hand on me. I was lying on the floor, bunched up trying to protect myself and stop the bleeding. He was about to hit me again but, instead, Carol stopped him. He attacked her, and that's when I left."  
  
"You didn't think to call the police?" Danny stares at her as Eva's eyes watch the table.  
  
"No," she whispers, hardly above a soft breath. "I didn't think they could do anything to help her. They're married, you know?" She lets out a sigh and finally her eyes glance up to meet mine. I see tears surfacing but she's trying to hold them back. She's quiet for a moment, and Danny and I exchange glances before she speaks up again. "You said you knew who my father was." Her voice sounds shaky and uncertain of whether she really wants to know. I'm not sure I want to tell her, as the information will likely only upset her more.  
  
"Yes, we found him," I answer. "The thing is, Eva," I pause and eye Danny, "for you to keep out of prison, you'll have to testify against him."  
  
"What?" Her eyes hold confusion as it sinks in. "Jim?" She shakes her head no and finally lowers her head in her hands onto the desk. With a sigh of dread she glances up towards me. "Do I have to?"  
  
"Technically, no," I answer, "but I'm letting you stay in my home and I don't have to do that either, Eva. I know this is an awful decision to make, but you owe it to your Aunt Carol. She deserves to have justice brought to her. Besides," I whisper, "don't you have cousins that live with your Uncle Jim? Would you really want them to live any longer with someone who's so awful?"  
  
"What will happen to them?"  
  
"If they don't have any other family, they'll likely be sent to a group home or a foster family. In a few months, if you can manage on your own with a decent income, you might be able to support them." I offer her a small glimpse of hope. "It won't be an easy process, Eva, but it's the right thing to do."  
  
She nods her head and lets out a soft breath. "Are you sure he's my father?"  
  
"Yes," I nod, taking her hand softly.  
  
"Does that mean Carol was my mother? Or that Andrea was my mother and was-- -" she pauses, realizing the revelation of why her mother wanted to keep her daughter from him. "Oh, God," she whispers, tears welling in her eyes. Danny grabs a tissue, handing it to her as he slips out of the room and waits for me to join him.  
  
"I'll be right back," I tell her, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze before exiting the interrogation room.  
  
"Do you think she's telling the truth?" Danny eyes me.  
  
"Where was the blood found? Wasn't it on the murder weapon? It would explain the blood found and," I eye the report Danny's holding, "it says here it was on the banister, the railing, and the stairs. They just never found a body to go with it, which is why Jim got off the last time. He claimed it was a break-in."  
  
"You're taking her word that she didn't kill her aunt."  
  
"What motive would she have had?" I eye him seriously. "Besides, her prints were never found on the murder weapon, so it proves she couldn't have killed Carol."  
  
Vivian comes over, having heard the interrogation. "It's going to be an incredibly messy trial. This girl only agrees to testify once you give her a place to live," she lets out a sigh and eyes me.  
  
"What do you suggest?"  
  
"You said it yourself about it being the right thing to do. I did some research on Jim Hunter, and it appears he has a series of assault and battery charges, so you wouldn't think it'd be too hard to convince the jury." Vivian hands me Jim's record as I eye the long list of prior arrests.  
  
"Let's add one more to it," I chime.  
  
Martin makes his way over towards us. "Eva doesn't have a record, but we found out her mother did." He hands me the file and I flip through it. "Apparently the charges were dropped, but they were filed by Jim Hunter."  
  
I read through the report and see two assault charges from 1994 and one from 1998, which were all dropped. I glance up towards Danny, "You want to come with me to bring him in?"  
  
"Shouldn't we inform the local PD?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"You want to call Kellar, or should I?" Danny grins playfully towards me.  
  
"All right, you win. We apprehend the suspect. Vivian, would you mind working on the arrest warrant? Call us as soon as you've got the papers drawn up." I follow Danny towards the office to grab his things before taking the car. "I was hoping to get out early today."  
  
"You just might," Danny answers with a smile as I take a seat in the passenger side, allowing him to drive this time.  
  
Danny's eyes glance my way. "What?" I question with a hint of annoyance in my voice.  
  
"You spent New Year's Eve alone," he points out.  
  
"No, Eva was home." I eye him curiously.  
  
"I meant you didn't spend it with Martin."  
  
"I didn't spend it with Jack either, so what's your point?"  
  
"I just thought you and Martin might actually have something that would progress."  
  
"Are you trying to play matchmaker?"  
  
Danny lets out a soft laugh and glances my way. "Hardly, I'm just trying to look out for what's best for you, Sam."  
  
"I did okay," I remind him. "I had a girls' night; haven't had one of those in ages."  
  
"I can't imagine you ever having one," he teases as I glare at him.  
  
"Yeah, well it's hard, especially after being around testosterone all day."  
  
"You don't mind it," he grins, turning into a parking space.  
  
"You have no idea," I whisper, as we sit on the car, surveying the scene and waiting for Vivian to call. Once she does, we head for the front door. 


	33. Chapter 33

"You have no idea," I whisper, as we sit on the car, surveying the scene and waiting for Vivian to call. Once she does, we head for the front door.  
  
********  
  
I knock on the door. "Mr. Hunter, we're with the FBI," I announce.  
  
"Go away!" he shouts in response. I can hear his footsteps on the other side of the door.  
  
"Are you Jim Hunter?"  
  
"Who's asking?"  
  
"We have a warrant for your arrest," Danny retorts as I eye him skeptically.  
  
"You think that will work?" I whisper towards him.  
  
"What do you want?" Hunter opens the door slowly, letting us see only his face.  
  
I push the door in, forcing our way inside. "We're here on the murder of Carol Hunter," I answer, attempting to push him against the wall as I feel a gun in his hand rising to meet my head. The cold metal hits where I already have a bruise and I groan in pain, kneeing the guy in the crotch. His body buckles as the gun drops to the floor and I put him in cuffs. Moments later I hear squad cars, as they take him away.  
  
"She'll have to identify him," Danny reminds me as we walk back for his car.  
  
"Yeah," I whisper, slightly dazed and feeling as though everything is surreal.  
  
"Samantha, are you sure you're all right? You look sick."  
  
"I feel sick," I whisper, taking a seat in his car and closing my eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
I shake my head no. I don't want to remember the awful memories of my uncle, but they're played over and over again when such horrific cases make their way into my life.  
  
I remember him coming to live with my mother and me, after my father left us. She needed the help--and the money. He took both from her and offered nothing in return. He was a drunk with a nasty attitude. Aren't they all?  
  
He'd come home late at night from the bars, smelling of stale smoke and liquor. I'd sit on the couch, curl into a ball and pretend to be asleep, so he wouldn't lay a hand on me.  
  
I was too young and too afraid to do anything---I wanted to, though---I needed to.  
  
When he was sober, he was an asshole. He pretended to be my father; he acted as though I should worship him, and for what?  
  
If only my real father wouldn't have left. If only Marcus wouldn't have moved in, then I wouldn't have grown up afraid. I vowed I'd never become like my mother--dependent on a man who you would love and he would leave, or dependent on a relative who would only come to hurt you.  
  
I promised myself never to love and never to be hurt because that was the worst thing a person could endure.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Danny's voice and notice us already at the Bureau. "You've been quiet," he mentions, slipping out from the car and moving around to open my door.  
  
"Just thinking."  
  
"Eva will be all right," he answers. "I know what you're thinking about, Samantha."  
  
"Please don't," I shake my head. "I don't need you feeling sorry for me."  
  
"Don't mistake empathy for pity," he answers, escorting me to the elevator.  
  
We head inside and I notice Vivian packing up. "Goodnight," she tells us, slipping on her jacket and heading out.  
  
I notice Jack and Eva sitting in his office talking. I can only wonder about what.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Martin's words and spin around to see him with his coat on. "You want to catch a drink later?"  
  
"Thanks, but I've got Eva to look after," I tell him.  
  
Danny walks off to his desk, leaving Martin standing beside me. "You're not still mad about what I said, are you?" Martin questions.  
  
"I suppose I'm disappointed," I answer him. "I expected more from you. I should have known better." I shrug with a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him sadly, stepping towards Jack's office and knocking to see him waving me inside.  
  
"Hey, Sam," I hear his voice calling me that name and my eyes tear up. "I heard about the case." I stand in his office, feeling my walls breaking but not wanting anyone to see. "Eva, would you mind sitting out there for a few minutes?" Jack asks her politely.  
  
"Not at all," she answers, standing up and heading out the door, closing it behind her.  
  
"Samantha," he whispers. "I know you're identifying with this case."  
  
"No," I shake my head, not wanting to admit it.  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"Jack," I whisper, falling into the seat with a sigh. My eyes stare at my hands in my lap, not wanting to meet his gaze. I hear his movements and feel his shadow looming over me. His hand moves to rest on my shoulder, as he leans on his desk. "I miss him," I whisper out, hardly above a breath.  
  
"Your father?" Jack clarifies as I nod my head with tears trickling down my cheeks.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"He was the only one I ever allowed to call me that." I shake my head no, willing the tears to stop falling---no such luck.  
  
"Samantha," he starts over. I feel his hands on mine as he leans down to try and embrace me in a hug. "I'm so sorry," he tells me, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.  
  
"Why?" I whisper, shaking my head. "We're supposed to find missing people, but why can't I find the one person I want to find? It's not fair," I cry out, feeling my tears soak through his shirt.  
  
"You know we can't find them all," he reminds me.  
  
"The one I want to find, though, I can't."  
  
"Sam," his voice is soft and reassuring. "What would you say to him if you did see him again?"  
  
"I'd want to know why he left my mother and me."  
  
"What good could come from that?"  
  
"Maybe we could make up for lost time," I whisper, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes to dry them. "I'm sorry." I pull back, trying to get a hold of myself.  
  
"Don't be." He brushes the sticky hair from my forehead as I feel his eyes on my face. I stare at his soaked-through shirt, not taking the chance of seeing something more in his gaze.  
  
"Come home with me," I whisper in a daze, not even realizing the words before they've escaped my lips. My eyes glance into his, worried of disappointment.  
  
He nods his head, taking my hand and giving it a soft kiss. "Let me grab my coat," he answers, slipping it on and walking with me out the door.  
  
I wipe my face, trying not to let Eva see I've been crying, although it's fairly obvious. "You okay, Samantha?"  
  
"Yeah," I whisper with a sigh. I hand her my car keys. "You drive home; Jack and I will be back later."  
  
"All right," Eva says as she pulls me in for a hug and smiles up at Jack. "Take good care of her," she warns him before I grab my jacket and we all head down to the parking garage.  
  
Jack and I head for his car and I take a seat in the passenger side, relaxing into the cushions.  
  
"I'm sorry I can't bring him back," Jack tells me, taking my hand in his as we pull out for the street.  
  
"I suppose I blame him for everything that's happened." I stare straight ahead, not willing Jack to look at me, or me to him. "If he wouldn't have left, my mother wouldn't have been so messed up. My uncle never would have moved in and I wouldn't be this way," I laugh softly.  
  
"I love you just the way you are," Jack tells me. I feel his eyes burning through mine.  
  
"Yeah, well I don't," I answer. "I hate what my life has become." I quickly glance towards Jack's hurt look. "Please don't take that the wrong way. I mean look at me, Jack, I'm a mess and a failure at so much. How many long-term relationships have I had? How many times have I been in love? How many times have I been with a guy and wanted him to even stay the night?" I laugh at the absurdity of it. "I'd be better off--"  
  
Jack cuts me off, "Don't even say it." His voice is sharp as he pulls over to the side of the road. He unbuckles his seatbelt and his body sends a shiver down my spine at the look he's giving me.  
  
"It's true," I answer.  
  
"Samantha," he blows out an annoyed breath and steps out from the car, slamming the door forcefully. I feel more tears rising in my eyes, and lean my head in my hands, crying my heart out.  
  
"Why can't anyone love me?" I whisper for no one to hear. I feel a cool gust of air and see the passenger side open.  
  
"Do you think your death would accomplish something?" His eyes look furious and his body is telling me he's more than ready to pick a fight.  
  
"I didn't---" I pause, feeling the tears no longer coming but my heart broken nonetheless. "Jack, can you take me home?"  
  
"Why? So you can end all this? That's the most selfish thing I've ever heard from you!" He unclasps my seatbelt and pulls me from the car.  
  
"Jack, you're hurting me!" I feel my stomach knot at his anger. His hand burns my wrist as he pulls me into the grassy path, keeping me away from traffic. I glare down at his hand and he loosens his grip, but not enough to let me go. "I'm not going to run," I tell him, meeting his gaze as he drops my hand.  
  
"No you won't run---you'll leave me instead. It figures," he shakes his head. "I've tried everything in my life to get away from my own mother's death and you have to throw it right in my face."  
  
"Jack," I feel more tears forming and see his own red eyes. "You know I never meant---"  
  
"Of course you didn't," he cuts me off. "No one does." He regards me with scorn as he walks back to the car and slams the door  
  
For a moment, I continue standing in the cold, worried he'll leave me. I slowly head to the car, slip inside and take a seat, waiting for him to pull out in traffic.  
  
"Jack, I'm so sorry," I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes as I glance towards him. His face looks angry and his skin is a deep shade of red. He pulls in front of my apartment, stopping the car and sitting there, waiting. "Come up," I tell him, taking his hand as I feel his body slowly soften in my grip.  
  
"Maybe we need some time apart. We've been working together non-stop the past week."  
  
"Jack," I answer with a shake of my head and a sigh. "You need a decent place to sleep. Are you going home at least?"  
  
"No," he eyes his hands on the steering wheel.  
  
"Then stay the night. I can sleep on the couch," I offer, hoping to straighten things out between us because he is the last person I want hating me.  
  
"I'm not sure that's a wise decision."  
  
"If you're worried about Maria---" he cuts me off by opening his door. I follow behind, heading up the stairs to the door. I don't question his sudden decision change, and I won't, because I want this. 


	34. Chapter 34

"If you're worried about Maria---" he cuts me off by opening his door. I follow behind, heading up the stairs to the door. I don't question his sudden decision change, and I won't, because I want this.  
  
******  
  
"Hey, you two," Eva glances my way. "I was wondering when you were going to get home." She grins towards me. "I started dinner. I've got enough for three, if you're staying?" Eva eyes Jack with a smile.  
  
"Sounds good." We slip out of our coats, hanging them in the closet as I make my way to the sofa to sit down.  
  
"So, Jack, did you tell her the news yet?" Eva glances towards me and then him.  
  
"Not yet; thanks for bringing it up."  
  
"Sorry," she grimaces with a smile, not at all meaning the words.  
  
"Tell me what, Jack?" I turn towards him, taking his hand and ushering him to sit beside me.  
  
"Maria wants a divorce."  
  
"Oh," I feel my stomach tense and my head ache. "I'm sorry," I whisper, not sure what else to say. My heart pounds at the thought and I'm not allowing myself to consider why.  
  
"She's tired of trying to work things out. She," he pauses with a sigh, "doesn't think I love her anymore."  
  
"And do you?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'm in love with the idea of marriage and what I used to have. It hasn't been that way in ages, though," he tells me with a sigh, leaning back into the sofa.  
  
"Maybe you'll work things out."  
  
"No," Jack shakes his head. "I tried to talk to her, but it was no use. Funny thing is, it was the longest conversation we've had in probably six months. For a while she wasn't even talking to me; imagine living that way."  
  
"Must have been awful," Eva interjects, glancing back towards us.  
  
"I've had worse," Jack's eyes meet mine and I feel my stomach knot. What's he referring to? "I'll be back," he tells me, standing up and heading for the bathroom.  
  
"Where were you two?" Eva runs over to take a seat beside me on the sofa.  
  
"We got into a heated argument."  
  
"Oh, so foreplay?" She grins as I shake my head no with a laugh. "Too bad." She stands up, heading for the stove to continue cooking.  
  
Jack makes his way towards me, sitting down beside me. His arm manages to rest against the back of the sofa, his hand coming up to my neck, softly fingering my hair.  
  
"Did you manage to get any clothes today?" I eye him seriously. "You can't wear that into work a third day in a row."  
  
"Yeah, I've got a bag of clean clothes in the trunk. I should probably go apartment hunting this weekend," he lets out a soft breath. "I never thought I'd say those words again."  
  
"It's not all bad."  
  
"I'll be divorced in a few short months." He eyes me skeptically. "How is that not bad?"  
  
I shrug quietly, not telling him that it doesn't have to be bad; it's only bad if he makes it that way. I stand up, offering to help as we finish getting dinner ready.  
  
We all take a seat at the kitchen table, starting in on eating.  
  
"I know you were against me staying with her," Eva tells Jack, "but I'm glad you've come around."  
  
"Yeah, well it would have been nice if you hadn't lied to us."  
  
"I'm truly sorry." Her head falls with sad fearful eyes.  
  
"It's okay," I answer, "just don't ever do it again."  
  
She nods her head, her voice failing her as we finish our dinner and head to the sofa to watch a movie before bed.  
  
Jack takes a seat beside me, and Eva sits on the recliner. Immediately it reminds me of the night Martin was over, but this feels so right.  
  
Jack makes no move towards me, his body sitting on the couch as the movie starts in. I work on making some popcorn and offer Jack a piece. I toss it towards his mouth playfully, but it lands on his neck.  
  
"Sam," his smile is warm and his laugh is soft as he grabs for the bowl so he can manage to actually eat some.  
  
"Oh come on," I insist, grabbing another piece and tossing it towards his mouth. He catches it in his hand instead. "You're no fun," I sulk, handing him the bowl of popcorn.  
  
"I'm no fun?" he repeats aloud, his eyes staring into mine with an evil smirk.  
  
"That's right."  
  
"I just prefer to play with grownup food," he answers.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I eye him curiously as he heads into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Jack?" I question.  
  
"Close your eyes."  
  
"Oh no," I shake my head.  
  
"You trust me, don't you?"  
  
"Fine," I let out a soft breath, and close my eyes.  
  
"Keep them closed." I hear his words and then his footsteps towards me. "Open your mouth."  
  
"Jack," as his name escapes my mouth, a strawberry dances along my lips. "Mmm," I whisper aloud, licking the fruit and opening my eyes as I bite down, watching his gaze. The juice trickles down my chin and Jack's mouth moves in, cleaning up the mess. His lips never touch mine, but they don't have to. I chew the small piece of fruit, as I intentionally dribble more of the juices down my chin for him to lick up.  
  
"Samantha, you are so messy!" Eva glances towards me. "And, Jack, you're just plain dirty." She shakes her head with a laugh, "I'm heading to bed."  
  
"You don't have to," I answer her, watching as she stands up.  
  
"How can I not? Would you two kiss already?" She groans out, heading for her bedroom.  
  
I glance back to see Jack's eyes dark with a smile. "What?" I quip, feeling his mouth hovering above mine. "Jack," my eyes look into his. "You're still married. I don't want there to be any regrets."  
  
"I never." I cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips, quieting him.  
  
"Or guilt." My eyes meet his, as I take his hands in mine and lead him with me into the bedroom.  
  
"Sam," his voice is honey on my ears. I feel my insides burning to be touched as his lips descend on mine and he pushes me into my room with kisses. The back of my legs hit the mattress, as I fall back onto it.  
  
"You're so good at that," I whisper, feeling his lips on my neck, sucking that incredible spot. "Right there," I bite down on my lower lip, groaning out as he continues to kiss his way down my body.  
  
He moves above my skin, his fingers working on the buttons of my blouse. "I didn't come over here for this," he whispers into my ear.  
  
My mouth meets his, not letting him stop, even if he wanted to. My hands rake through his hair, and down his back, working on his shirt next.  
  
I feel a vibrating sensation from Jack's pants leg, and I glance into his eyes, trying to hold my disappointment. He rolls off my frame, slipping the phone out, "Malone," he answers, moving onto his back. He closes his eyes, with his hand resting on his forehead. "Uh huh," he breathes out, as I lean against him, running my hand softly against his chest. "I'm at the office," he tells the caller. "I don't know." He pauses, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone. "Well that's just great." He sits up, giving me a sad look. "Bye." He hangs up the phone.  
  
"Maria?" I question.  
  
He nods his head, his eyes shut, as he sits on the edge of my bed.  
  
"What'd she say?" I move my hand to his back, softly running my palm against his flesh.  
  
"She doesn't want to give up just yet on us. She thinks it would be a mistake, especially for the girls."  
  
Jack's eyes meet mine as I let out a soft breath, trying as best I can, to hide my disappointment. I bite down on my lower lip, knowing what I must do. I button my shirt and place my hand over his. "Go home," I tell him softly, feeling my stomach knot at the awful words escaping my lips.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"I can't do this anyways," I whisper, shrugging my shoulders.  
  
"Do what?" His eyes hold concern.  
  
"Be the girl you have an affair with. It's not what I want any more," I tell him. "Your girls need you, Jack." I slip out of bed, opening the bedroom door. "I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him soundly.  
  
"Sam," my name on his lips, comes out in a soft whisper.  
  
"Please, don't make this any harder than it has to be," I answer, covering my eyes to keep myself from crying.  
  
I feel his hand on my wrist, lowering my arm. "Maybe I want to be with you."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head no, "we can't."  
  
"We?" His eyes look deep into mine. "I think we're talking about you." He pulls me towards my bed to sit down.  
  
"Jack, you're married."  
  
"It's not going to last."  
  
"You should try," I answer him. "Otherwise you'll hate yourself and blame." I trail off.  
  
"You think I'll blame you?" His finger moves to under my chin to meet his gaze. I nod softly, wiping my eyes. "I would never," he shakes his head. "Samantha, of all the people I've known, you're the last person I'd blame anything on."  
  
"Jack," I let out a soft sigh, closing my eyes under his touch. His fingers dance along my eyes, drying them, and moving softly down my cheeks. "I do love you, but I can't do this---pretending to have something I don't."  
  
"You have me."  
  
"No," I shake my head, "I don't." I slip from his grasp and stand up, staring at the ceiling to keep my emotions at bay. "Please go," I whisper.  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"Please," I beg him, not wanting him to see me upset.  
  
"What if I asked for a divorce?"  
  
"Jack, don't." I warn him. "This isn't what you want."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"You want your daughters living with you as a family," I remind him. "It's what you've always wanted. That's why you ended things with us in the first place," I let out a soft sigh, finally meeting his gaze. "We can't have that." I glance into his eyes. "You know I'll always love you, Jack. You need to go home, though. Work things out, at least try to," I tell him.  
  
He stands up, leaning down to give me one final kiss before fixing his clothes and heading out my front door. I collapse onto my bed, feeling vulnerable and all alone. Today was one of the most emotional days I've had with Jack, and now, I don't know what to do.  
  
I guess I can't really do anything. If Maria wants to try again, and Jack's willing, it's not my place to interfere. Do I go back to Martin, and try again? Do I forgive and forget? Can I, after the awful words he said?  
  
I don't want to be alone tonight. I guess I'm not really alone---Eva is right next door. It's not the same though, as being in a man's arms, especially his.  
  
I really thought things were going to change between Jack and myself. I thought Maria had finally decided she had enough and that it was over. I guess that will never really happen, which is probably for the best.  
  
I head into the bathroom, running myself a bath. I grab a few candles, lighting them before turning off the light and slipping in the tub.  
  
I close my eyes, relaxing in the tub and trying to forget the recent worries and woes in my life.  
  
A few minutes pass by, and I hear a soft rap on the door. 


	35. Chapter 35

I close my eyes, relaxing in the tub and trying to forget the recent worries and woes in my life.  
  
A few minutes pass by, and I hear a soft rap on the door.  
  
****  
  
"Yeah?" I turn my head, curious as to Eva's interruption.  
  
"Sam?" I hear Jack's voice and my heart soars, as the doorknob turns. "Oh sorry," his smile meets my eyes as I motion for him to come closer. My fingers gesture towards him, and the bubbles on my hand fall to the tub.  
  
He leans down, allowing my soapy wet hand to run through his hair, as his lips descend on mine.  
  
"What are you doing back?" I glance into his eyes with a hopeful smile.  
  
"I couldn't leave you alone tonight."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head, "I don't want to be the one thing keeping your family apart."  
  
"You're not. I am," he answers, giving me another kiss, filled with need and want, as his hand caresses itself into my hair.  
  
"Why are you here?" My heart feels betrayed because if he still loves his wife, I can never really have him.  
  
"I was worried about you," Jack tells me. "After our argument in the car earlier, I had this horrible thought cross my mind."  
  
"Jack," I take my hands and grip his, "I promise I would never do anything like that."  
  
"That's what Doris said," his voice cracks, and his head falls forward.  
  
I stand up in the darkness, the candlelight bathing my body, as I grab a towel and wrap it around my wet skin. I take Jack's hand, ushering him into my bedroom once again.  
  
"Jack, I want you to know that I would never hurt myself. I couldn't do it to you," I tell him soundly. "I know the pain it would cause. You have more reason to worry about me transferring out," I tease him, taking a seat beside him on the bed.  
  
"You're thinking of changing divisions?" His eyes finally come up to meet mine.  
  
"No," I laugh softly, shaking my head. "It's an expression. Never mind," I tell him with a resigned sigh.  
  
"You sure?" he questions again.  
  
"Positive. I couldn't imagine working with anyone else," I answer.  
  
I stand up, heading towards my dresser for night attire. I pull out an outfit, heading into the bathroom to get dressed.  
  
"You done yet?" I hear Jack knocking on the bathroom door and I turn the knob opening it, to let him in. I finish brushing back my hair and blow out the forgotten candles.  
  
"Finished," I answer with a smile, heading into the bedroom with Jack in tow.  
  
I slip between the covers, glancing towards the clock to see it's almost midnight. I roll onto my side to face Jack. "You coming to bed?" I question, seeing him sit on the edge of the bed. He lets out a soft breath, and I can tell this is consuming him. "You love her still, don't you?"  
  
"Yes," Jack nods his head. His eyes reluctantly rise to meet mine.  
  
"And me?" I question with curiosity. "Where do I fit in to all of this?"  
  
"I love you too," he answers. "Some days I wake up and I know exactly what I want."  
  
"And other days?" My eyes glance into his as he lies back against the pillows, his eyes shutting with a soft sigh.  
  
"I feel like this," he tells me.  
  
My hand moves to his shoulder, gently comforting him.  
  
"If you're going to feel guilty about staying here, then you should go home to your family."  
  
"It's not that," he answers, rolling onto his side to face me. His fingers move to my shoulder, gently pushing my hair behind my ear and letting it fall down my back.  
  
"Jack?" His eyes watch his fingers until I speak his name.  
  
"I want to be with you, Sam; that's why I always feel so terrible. I shouldn't want this, but I do."  
  
"It's not your fault." I move my hand to his, pressing a soft kiss to our intertwined fingers as his eyes watch mine. He pulls my hand close against his heart, as I feel the steady rhythm.  
  
"I just hate how much I never want to go home." His eyes meet mine.  
  
"Yeah, sometimes I feel the same way. You've got two girls who love seeing you, though," I remind him with a sad smile.  
  
Jack's fingers move to my neck, tracing along my skin. "Sometimes I think they'd rather I not come home."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head, "that's not true."  
  
"I've disappointed them so much," he lets out a soft sigh. "Now I'm worried what Maria told them. Hannah saw your scrunchie in the car. I can't imagine what's running through my daughter's mind."  
  
"Maybe she deserves to hear the truth."  
  
"She's a child!" Jack answers with wide-eyes. "She should be protected."  
  
"From the brutal truth that marriage isn't always the answer, even if you love someone?" I whisper out the words that send a chill down my spine. "I'm sorry," I quickly whisper.  
  
"What do you think I should do?" His eyes glance into mine.  
  
"Jack," I shake my head, "if there's any question in your mind, go home."  
  
"But--"  
  
"Jack, don't make this any harder than it has to be." I lean towards him, giving him a soft kiss to his lips and turning around to shut off the light.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Don't get me wrong. I want you to stay. I just don't want your mind to be someplace else." I eye him in the darkness. "Go home, work things out, do what you need to do." I roll onto my stomach, my eyes still watching him as I shift beneath the sheets to get comfortable. "Just know that I love you," I tell him before shutting my eyes, not being able to stand the sight of him walking out again.  
  
I feel the bed shift and Jack's warm lips on my cheeks. "I love you too," he tells me, running his hand along my head before moving off the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow at work," he reminds me before leaving my bedroom and shutting the door behind him.  
  
I close my eyes, wanting the tears to leave as I feel them falling fast. "Jack," I whisper, hoping I don't have another sleepless night, alone in my bed, and wishing I hadn't told him to leave. I shift and turn, as the hours pass, trying to find some comfort and a few hours of shut-eye. Not much comes, and as dawn breaks I feel a few more tears and a soft breath escape my lips. "It's not worth crying over," I remind myself. Besides, what's to say what will happen in the end? Maybe I will find some peace of mind or be able to move on.  
  
I don't want to feel this way---lonely and depressed. I felt this way a few short months after switching from the NYPD to the Bureau. I didn't exactly know anyone and I suppose I needed a shoulder to cling to. I went online and met this guy; he seemed great. I was planning on meeting him and then stood him up for a case. I never talked to him again, figured I was better off meeting people in bars. At least then you see the loser you're going to talk with.  
  
I sit up in bed, knowing that it's unlikely I'll get any more sleep. I head into the bathroom, staring at my reflection and my hair that's all over the place. I'm too exhausted to do much of anything. I find an outfit for work and slip it on before putting my hair up.  
  
I head into the kitchen, grabbing a quick breakfast when I see Eva coming in.  
  
"Morning," she yawns, eyeing me and then the apartment. "Where's Jack?"  
  
"He went home," I whisper, taking in a breath and glancing down at my bagel in front of me.  
  
"This morning?" Eva's eyes meet mine as it dawns on her why I look like hell. "Oh. Why didn't you come in last night and tell me?" She moves towards me, enveloping me in a hug.  
  
"It's not the first time." I shrug it off. "Besides I pretty much encouraged him to leave. His wife called and he was on the way home when he was worried about me. So he came back and then--"  
  
"You told him to leave?" Eva questions. "You really screwed up."  
  
"Don't remind me." I let out a sigh and glance towards the clock. "I need to head out soon." I make my way into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and getting one last glance at my reflection before I leave.  
  
"I'll be home late," Eva tells me as I open the front door. "I've got a job interview this afternoon."  
  
"Good luck," I answer, before slipping out the door and heading for the Bureau.  
  
I make my way to the office, heading reluctantly down the hall and towards my cubicle.  
  
"Morning, Samantha," I hear Martin's voice as he approaches.  
  
"Um, yeah," I respond, slightly stumped and still half-asleep from the lack of sleep.  
  
"Long night?" He leans against my desk as I take a seat.  
  
"Yeah," I nod with a yawn, covering my mouth as I see Martin's eyes on Jack.  
  
"You're not the only one," he muses, heading towards the conference table to join Vivian and Danny.  
  
Jack makes his way out of the office, putting the picture of a missing person up on our board. "Stephen Radowski, never made it home from work last night." I step towards the conference table, my eyes heavy and my breathing shallow as the eyes in the picture stare back at me.  
  
"I know him," I whisper, staring at the face on the whiteboard.  
  
"You know him?" Vivian's voice cuts through as all eyes fall on me.  
  
"Yes," I nod slowly, "but he must have changed his last name."  
  
"From what?" Danny glances my way.  
  
"Spade," I whisper, glancing towards Jack as I feel the room spin and I rest my hands on the table to keep my balance. 


	36. Chapter 36

"Yes," I nod slowly, "but he must have changed his last name."  
  
"From what?" Danny glances my way.  
  
"Spade," I whisper, glancing towards Jack as I feel the room spin and I rest my hands on the table to keep my balance.  
  
****  
  
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice behind me, and feel his hands on my hips holding me up. "Breathe," he whispers into my ear, as I feel the room swelter and my stomach grow nauseous. I move my hand to my mouth, feeling clammy and about to vomit, as Jack helps me keep my balance.  
  
Vivian pulls out a chair, as Jack helps me sit down and I feel a cold glass of water in my hands. I glance down, oblivious as to who brought it to me, and take a sip.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Jack's voice and my eyes see him kneeling down to be at my height and protect me from falling out of the chair.  
  
"I'm fine," I breathe out, feeling my head pound but the other awful symptoms dissipate.  
  
"Do I have to take a guess who Stephen Spade was?" His eyes glance into mine and I shake my head no.  
  
"My father," I whisper, glancing up towards the picture and then back towards Jack. "What's he doing in New York?"  
  
"Sam, I want you to go home. Besides the obvious emotional factor, you look like you haven't slept in a week."  
  
"Jack, I'm fine." My voice pleads with him to keep me on this case.  
  
"No, you obviously aren't. We'll find him," he tells me, "and you can have all the answers you want from him then. In the meantime, I need you to go home and rest. You're no use to us like this." He eyes me steadily.  
  
I glance towards the others and see them going over the file. "Jack, I want to be here."  
  
"Your heart might be in the right place, but you're not up to the task," he answers.  
  
"And you slept good last night?" I glance into his eyes to see him look away hesitantly. I can tell by the dark circles under his eyes he didn't get a good night's rest and neither did I.  
  
"Sam," his voice is soft, trying to calm me down, "I'd consider it if what just transpired hadn't happened."  
  
"I was in shock," I answer. "I haven't seen the man in over twenty-five years and to see his picture as a missing person--" I trail off.  
  
"Take today off. You've got plenty of time coming," he reminds me.  
  
"I want a part of this."  
  
"I know you do, but I can't send you out in the field."  
  
"Then let me do paperwork and background checks. Let me feel like I'm trying to help. Please," my voice pleads with him as he lets out a soft sigh.  
  
"Fine," he gives in with a slight nod. "I'm only trying to protect you, though," he reminds me before moving towards the others. "Vivian, you and Danny are going to visit Mrs. Vanessa Radowski and her daughter. Find out how much they know. Don't mention his previous life just yet, but find out where he was born and any other pertinent information that may help us determine why he left in the first place."  
  
"We're on it," Vivian answers, grabbing a file and heading with Danny towards the elevator.  
  
"Martin, I want you to interview the employer. Find out what he does and if he has any enemies."  
  
Jack eyes me as Martin heads out. "You're going to search phone records, bank account statements, any investments he might have made."  
  
"Jack--"  
  
"You can go home if you want," he reminds me as I let out a reluctant sigh.  
  
"I'm on it." I stand up slowly, feeling more at ease and back to myself--- aside from being tired.  
  
"I'm going to check the hospital and the morgue. Make sure you check for accident reports; see if there were any last night."  
  
"Okay," I answer, heading towards the computer to do various searches for information. I make a few phone calls, leaving a message with the local police to call if they come up with anything.  
  
Two hours and three stacks of paperwork later, Kellar returns my call.  
  
"Samantha, I've got something you're going to want to look into."  
  
"What's that?" I question.  
  
"You asked about an accident report. It appears Radowski's car was crashed sometime last night. We've got the paperwork here to verify."  
  
"And where's the car now?"  
  
"It was towed to---" I can hear him flipping through the pages of the report---"Lovett's. Know where that is?"  
  
"Yeah," I answer. "Was he on the scene?"  
  
"No, the car was empty."  
  
"Thanks." I hang up the phone, grabbing my coat and heading for the tow company. I figure on dialing Jack on my way back, so he doesn't freak about me leaving the office.  
  
"I'm Agent Spade," I show my badge to the attendant. "I'm interested in a car that was brought in late last night, under the name Radowski."  
  
"Just a minute," he answers, typing in the name and waiting for a response. "Yeah, a 1999 Toyota Camry was brought in. It's out back." He gestures towards the door.  
  
"Can I get the license plate number?" He scribbles it down and hands me a page from his torn out notebook. "Thanks."  
  
I head outside, glancing around at the wrecked vehicles until I find the one I'm looking for. The beige vehicle was hit from behind, repeatedly. There's evidence of a black vehicle involved by the paint scrapings left behind. The windows are smashed in and I glance inside the car, noticing trace amounts of blood. I pull out my phone, calling for a CSI team to secure the evidence while I make my way back to the Bureau.  
  
I dial Jack's number and hear his rough, "Hello."  
  
"Jack, I've got some evidence being analyzed that shows he was likely in a car accident. From the looks of it, he was forced off the road."  
  
"Who sent it in?" Jack's voice holds curiosity as I let out a soft breath.  
  
"I went over after Kellar called about an accident."  
  
"How'd the scene look?"  
  
"There was some blood, a lot of broken glass. From the looks of it, I'd say he was forced off the road intentionally."  
  
"Where are you now?"  
  
"Driving back to the office. I've still got a few things to look into, unless you want me in the field?"  
  
"Finish what you need to. I'll stop by when I'm done here; shouldn't be too long." He hangs up the phone and I let out a soft sigh, hanging up mine as well.  
  
I make my way back to the office, doing a search on recent telephone records, including any that might suggest something going on out of state or out of the country. For all we know, he might have more than one family he abandoned. I bite down on my tongue, not wanting my emotions to get in the way of any judgment calls.  
  
I dig through a copy of all the recent checks he's cashed and there's one that catches my interest. It's written for "Cash" and the amount is fifty thousand dollars. It was written and cashed roughly two weeks ago. I flip the check over, looking for a signature, but there isn't one.  
  
"Okay," I state aloud to no one in particular. I head towards the computer, going through financial records looking for where and when the fifty thousand came from. The account shows two deposits for twenty-five thousand each, two weeks apart. Both names, Vanessa and Stephen, are on the account and I let out a soft breath, wondering where the money came from and whom it was given to.  
  
"What have you got?" I hear Jack's voice from behind, and I glance back to show him the check that's been cashed. "Investment?"  
  
"Or blackmail," I answer, spinning around in my chair to face him.  
  
"I need a list of names of other bank accounts to look through," I remind him.  
  
"Martin should be back any moment."  
  
"What about Vivian and Danny?" I question. "Did they find anything from Vanessa?"  
  
"No," he lets out a sigh. "They're looking into another lead right now."  
  
"What other lead?" I eye him intently.  
  
"Your mother."  
  
"Jack, you don't honestly believe she had anything to do with this? She hasn't had contact with him in years!"  
  
"We can't rule anyone out without speaking to them first." He gently rests his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Am I a suspect then?" My head tilts as my eyes bore into his.  
  
"If you didn't have an alibi, you might have been," he pauses a minute before continuing, "but I was with you last night when the accident happened. Besides, you don't have a black vehicle." He points out the obvious.  
  
"Neither does my mother."  
  
"Sam, you know it's nothing personal. We have to investigate every avenue. For all we know, your uncle might have gotten involved."  
  
"If you see the bastard, do me a favor and arrest him."  
  
"Sam," his voice is pleading with me to stop fighting.  
  
I let out a soft breath and hear footsteps growing closer. I glance back to see Martin joining us. Jack's hand drops from my shoulder sharply.  
  
"Find anything?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"Stephen's boss, Eric Knotter, was the last to see him. He said Stephen left around nine last night. According to another employee there, Richard Scotsmen, both Stephen and Eric got into some sort of disagreement. Eric denies the allegation and claims he was working on his computer until he left at quarter to ten."  
  
"Do we have anything else on Eric?" I question.  
  
"He's married, with two kids, and lives outside the city."  
  
"Does he have an alibi for last night?" I quip.  
  
"Eric and Stephen were the last two to leave. No one else spoke or saw Eric after Stephen left."  
  
"Convenient," I point out. "Any record or surveillance footage of when Eric left?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Sam, why don't you check his bank records. See if he deposited fifty thousand in the past forty-eight hours."  
  
"I'm on it." I turn around, facing the computer to do a search on Eric Knotter's social security number and record before looking into the activity on his bank account.  
  
Ten minutes later, I find out Eric Knotter deposited fifty grand. I stand up, heading towards Jack's office to see him on the phone. He waves for me to come in.  
  
"Yeah, fax it to me; I don't have time to pick it up." He hangs up the phone with a sigh.  
  
"You were right about the money," I tell him. "Eric deposited the full sum into his account over a week ago."  
  
"Motive?"  
  
"Could be anything." I shrug. "You want me to talk with him?"  
  
"Take Martin with you," he answers, glancing down at the papers in front of him, obviously too busy to go himself.  
  
"Okay," I answer, stepping out of his office and heading over towards Martin. "Jack wants us to speak with Eric again."  
  
"Find something?"  
  
"Fifty thousand deposited into his bank account from Stephen Radowski."  
  
"Drugs?" Martin questions, grabbing his coat and slipping it on.  
  
"I was thinking blackmail," I answer, following him down to his car. I take a seat in the passenger side, allowing the silence to calm my racing thoughts.  
  
"Samantha," his eyes glance towards me, and he lets out a soft breath, "how'd you manage to get out of the seminar?"  
  
I let out a sigh of relief, concerned he was going to ask me about my father and the day he left.  
  
"I made a deal with Jack. I can't exactly go see Lisa Harris again," I remind him, "especially after what Jack did."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I told him I'd see someone else."  
  
"And you're really going to?" Martin eyes me curiously.  
  
I shrug in response with a tight-lipped smile playing on my lips. "I don't think that'll help you out of the situation."  
  
"No kidding," he groans out. "Those seminars are the most boring experiences in the world."  
  
"Maybe this one will be different?"  
  
"Oh come on. We know that's why you got out of it," he answers with a laugh.  
  
"I'll probably get stuck going to one in the summer. At least I have a few months till it comes," I point out.  
  
"Yeah, I've got mine next week."  
  
"It's not so bad. At least you'll actually get out on time for a week," I answer with a smile, as we pull into Knotter's driveway.  
  
We make our way to the front door, knocking briefly before showing our badges. "We're with the FBI," Martin announces.  
  
"Can we come in?" I eye our prime suspect, as he opens the door and we escape from the cold winter air.  
  
"I told you all everything I know," Eric tells us. We follow him into his living room and take a seat on the sofa.  
  
"There's some things we need clarified," I answer. "You were paid fifty thousand dollars by Stephen Radowski."  
  
"Yeah," Eric nods. "It was an investment."  
  
"And it went into your personal bank account?" I quip.  
  
"It was more of a personal investment," he answers. "I was starting up my own business and he made an investment. I told him he'd get stock options in return."  
  
"That doesn't explain why the money was in your bank account," I point out.  
  
"I didn't have the papers drawn up yet but he kept insisting on giving me the money now. I guess that was my own fault---I kept pressuring him into the deal. I told him it would be a hot market and if he didn't bring me the money, plenty of others would."  
  
"So he gave you fifty thousand dollars?" Martin eyes me. "Did you even think twice about asking for money from someone who works under you?"  
  
"He came to me at first. I didn't even want to let him get involved, but I needed the money to start up. Once I realized he could bring me half of what I needed, I guess I kept pushing until he gave it to me."  
  
"What sort of business are you running?"  
  
"A legitimate one," Eric answers.  
  
"Mind explaining?" Martin stares at Eric as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"Fine," he lets out an exasperated sigh. "I was opening up my own production company. My neighbor's a screenwriter and small bit actor. He had everything set for creating a film, except the financing. I read the script and thought if I could put the money together, we'd have ourselves a real winner."  
  
"There are agencies that do that," I remind him.  
  
"Yeah, I know, but he didn't want a big company to see it. He was worried about them wanting to change too much of the storyline. Anyways, I told him I could get the money but he'd have to do the rest."  
  
"And?" My eyes meet Martin's curiously.  
  
"The cost of production is somewhere around a hundred thousand. We're half way there. As soon as we find the rest of the money, we'll start filming."  
  
"Right." I stand up, having all the information we need. "Oh, yes, one last question," I remember. "Where does this neighbor live? We want to verify your story?"  
  
"To the left," he points next door as we step outside and Martin follows me to the screenwriter's home.  
  
"You think this is some big scam?" Martin eyes me as we head towards the front door.  
  
"Wouldn't surprise me. It might explain Radowski's disappearance," I offer. "Perhaps he found out that his money wasn't going where he thought and they got rid of him."  
  
"Or maybe he just disappeared," Martin answers, as we knock on the door. 


	37. Chapter 37

"You think this is some big scam?" Martin eyes me as we head towards the front door.  
  
"Wouldn't surprise me. It might explain Radowski's disappearance," I offer. "Perhaps he found out that his money wasn't going where he thought and they got rid of him."  
  
"Or maybe he just disappeared," Martin answers, as we knock on the door.  
  
*****  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"We're with the FBI. Agents Spade and Fitzgerald," I offer, showing the young man my badge.  
  
"What's this about?"  
  
"Can you tell me what you do for a living, Mr.--?" Martin questions.  
  
"Kevin Appleton. I'm a filmmaker. I haven't done much since moving here. I used to live out in Chicago and work was becoming scarce."  
  
"Do you mind if we come inside?" I question, shivering from the cold breeze.  
  
"Not at all." He opens the door and I feel a warm gust of air encompass my body. "What's all this about?"  
  
"Your neighbor was telling us about your latest project."  
  
"Yeah, we're trying to find investors. You don't happen to have fifty grand, do you?"  
  
"No," I laugh softly shaking my head. "One of your investors, Stephen Radowski, went missing last night," I tell him.  
  
"Oh, man," he runs his hand through his hair. "I don't work any of the financial angles. I've got Eric to do that."  
  
"Is this going to be your first production?" I inquire.  
  
"With Eric, yes. I was running my own production company back in Chicago, and it did fairly well, until the business closed up. I've got the cameras and other equipment still, which will help with the financial aspect. I can show those to you if you'd like."  
  
"You've made other films?" I eye him intently.  
  
"Yeah. Mostly film festival flicks. Most people haven't heard of them."  
  
"Have you won any awards?" I question, eyeing his mantel and the photos on display.  
  
"Not yet. Still dreaming about it. That's my wife," he tells me, as I study the picture. "She passed away three years ago."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that."  
  
"Yeah," he nods sadly, "it was a drunk driver on New Year's Eve. I was with her at least when she went. I've got the scar to prove it." He points to his clothed leg. "I can show it to you, if you'd like."  
  
"No, that's quite all right. If you think of anything that might help us," I hand him my card, "please let us know." Martin heads towards the front door, opening it and waiting for me.  
  
"Is this a direct line, or--" I eye him questionably as Martin glances back to see what's going on. "I'm sure you get this all the time, but I think you're really beautiful. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"  
  
"I'm flattered," I smile politely, "but I try not to mix business with pleasure. It was nice meeting you," I shake his hand before stepping out the front door behind Martin.  
  
"You don't mix business with pleasure?" Martin turns to face me with a smile.  
  
"Don't even--" I shake my head no as I take a seat in the car.  
  
"I wasn't going to say anything."  
  
"You were thinking it."  
  
"No, I wasn't," Martin answers as he backs out of the driveway on our way back to the Bureau.  
  
I pull out my cell phone and dial Jack.  
  
"Malone," he answers.  
  
"We interviewed Knotter."  
  
"And?"  
  
"He's got a story that seems to check out."  
  
"Don't they all?" Jack lets out a sigh. "Where are you now?"  
  
"We're on our way back," I answer. I can hear movement in the background.  
  
"I've got another call, Sam. I'll see you later." He hangs up and I let out a soft breath, figuring it's probably his wife.  
  
We make our way back to the Bureau and head towards Jack's office to see two other agents in there with them. Jack waves for us to come inside.  
  
"At 4:45 p.m. a ransom call was made to our office. They wanted unmarked bills in a dumpster not far from here."  
  
"When?" I question.  
  
"At eight tonight. Sam," Jack's eyes meet mine, "they were looking for you, when they called."  
  
Jack nods for the other agents to leave and Martin stands in the doorway. "I'm betting it was Kevin Appleton." Martin states, "How much was the demand for?"  
  
"Fifty thousand," Jack answers as his eyes meet Martin's and then mine.  
  
"Did you get a trace?"  
  
"No," Jack shakes his head. "He wanted you to make the drop, though."  
  
"Me?" I question.  
  
"That's right," he answers.  
  
"I think our suspect has a crush on Samantha," Martin interjects. "I'm just wondering if he even has Stephen."  
  
"He claims he did, but didn't let me talk to him. We don't have much of a choice," Jack points out and then lets out a soft sigh. "I had a different thought on who the caller might have been."  
  
"Who?" I question.  
  
"Your father," Jack answers me as I take a seat near his desk. "It would explain why he insisted on you making the drop."  
  
"He would have had to fake his own kidnapping then?"  
  
"Perhaps," Jack answers. "Or maybe your theory is right on. It could be Kevin Appleton."  
  
"Maybe they're working together," I offer the suggestion. "They figured they could con the government into the other half of the money they needed."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Supposedly Knotter is opening his own production company and that's where Stephen's money went. They were still fifty thousand short though," I point out. "Makes for some interesting questions."  
  
"It sounds to me like Stephen may not be involved in his own disappearance. This drop could be seemingly unrelated."  
  
"Could be," I muse. "We could also have a kidnapping---or worse, murder--- on our hands because Radowski found out it was a con and not a real investment," I offer the suggestion.  
  
"What do you think Martin?" Jack glances towards him.  
  
"I think we catch the SOB and find out what he knows."  
  
"Martin, why don't you do a search and find out what you can about this production company that's in the works. See if they've filed any paperwork or have anything that shows it's legitimate."  
  
Martin exits the office and Jack's eyes watch mine. "I'm worried about sending you out into the field."  
  
"I'll be fine," I answer him.  
  
"You haven't slept much and if it is your father," Jack's eyes glance deep into mine.  
  
"Yeah," I nod as the silence deafens the room. Neither of us knows exactly what to say about that situation.  
  
"Go home for a few hours, catch up on some sleep, and be back here by seven. Can you do that?"  
  
"You're not giving me much time to sleep," I point out. "By the time I get home and make myself something to eat, I'll likely have to head back. I won't get any sleep."  
  
"Lisa's room's probably open. You can try and catch some sleep in there," Jack offers.  
  
"That's okay," I laugh softly. "I'll be fine tonight, no worries."  
  
"I'm always worried," he answers honestly.  
  
"Well don't be. The guy likely won't be around when I drop off the bag. He'll be there to pick it up, and our guys will be in place for that."  
  
"Yeah," he nods, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"You okay? You don't look like you've slept much either."  
  
"Yeah, well--" he lets out a breath as his eyes study his hands on the desk. "Not likely I'll get much sleep tonight either."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Maria and I are telling the girls about the divorce."  
  
"But I thought--"  
  
"She claims I misunderstood her on the phone. I think she knows where I was. " His eyes finally come up to meet mine and I feel my heart ache for him.  
  
"Danny or Martin would vouch for you working late," I offer the suggestion.  
  
"I can't have them lie for me. Besides, it's over," he tells me solemnly.  
  
I nod my head, not sure how to respond. I should feel relieved, but I'm not. Truth is, now I don't know what he wants from me, if anything. Are we right back where we started from?  
  
"Jack," my voice is soft as I see the lines of worry and pain written all over his face. "There's something else, isn't there?" I question.  
  
"I promised Maria I'd be home tonight by seven," his eyes look into mine.  
  
"You won't be at the drop," I answer with a nod. "Who's going to watch my back?"  
  
"Martin will be there, so will the two other agents who were in here a few short minutes ago."  
  
"That's it?" I eye him.  
  
"We're short on people till Monday. Plus we sent Danny and Vivian--"  
  
"You sent them," I remind him with a soft breath as he nods.  
  
"I doubt they'll be back much before eight tonight," he answers. "I want you to call me when everything's done, though, so I know you're all right."  
  
"You don't have to worry about me," I remind him. "You've got enough on your mind as it is."  
  
"Tell me about it," he whispers with a sigh.  
  
"It's getting late as it is. Why don't you pack up and go home for the weekend."  
  
"Promise me you'll call?"  
  
I nod my head 'yes' and head out of his office with a yawn.  
  
I make my way towards my desk, taking a seat and closing my eyes for a second. "Samantha?" I hear Martin's voice and spin around to face him.  
  
"You want to grab a quick bite to eat on our way down to the drop-off?"  
  
My eyes quickly glance towards Jack's office and then back to Martin. I give a brief nod and stand up. "What'd you have in mind?"  
  
"We've got about forty-five minutes until we need to meet and set up the scene."  
  
"There's a café down the street," I offer. "They shouldn't be too crowded at this hour."  
  
"Sounds good." Martin escorts me to the elevator.  
  
"Think you can handle the cold?" I eye him as I push the button to the lobby.  
  
"I think I can manage," Martin responds as we make our way outside and feel the cold temperature send a chill through us. "Maybe we should have driven?"  
  
"We're almost there," I point out, gesturing towards the small café on the corner of the main road.  
  
I step inside and feel a warm rush of air whisk around. "It feels nice to be inside again."  
  
"No kidding," Martin answers as we head towards a small table and look through the menus before ordering. Once the order is placed, Martin's eyes meet mine with a soft smile on his lips.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just thinking-we really haven't had any time together since--"  
  
"Yeah," I interrupt, "I'm still not letting you completely off the hook about what you said." My eyes glance into his.  
  
"I meant what I said about being sorry."  
  
"I know," I nod with a sigh. "An apology doesn't make it hurt less though."  
  
"I really am sorry," Martin covers his hands above mine and I let out a soft breath and a nod.  
  
"I know," I answer him. "Let's not worry about that right now. In a little over an hour I'll be making a delivery." I let out a breath.  
  
"Nervous?"  
  
"Can you tell?" I laugh softly.  
  
"You'll do fine."  
  
"It's not that I'm nervous about."  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"I know it's unlikely, but what if I see my father again? I don't have any idea what I'd say to him."  
  
"Just tell him how you feel."  
  
"Easier said then done," I scoff. "He left my mother and me when I was three."  
  
"Maybe it was for the best."  
  
"Believe me, it wasn't." I shake my head no and glance out the window, not wanting to remember my family and how torn apart we've become.  
  
"Samantha." He squeezes my hand and I feel my stomach grow tense.  
  
"Please, don't," I tell him, taking my hands and placing them in my lap.  
  
"Should we send in someone else for the drop?"  
  
"No!" My voice grows insistent as my eyes move to his. "I can handle it."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I did fine rescuing Lisa. I think I can handle this."  
  
"You think?" Martin's eyes rise in curiosity.  
  
"I know," I respond forcefully. "Now can we drop it?"  
  
"You're the one that brought it up," he points out. Our food finally arrives and I embrace the silence, allowing my mind to take over. I wonder what Jack is doing at this moment? Is he at home, trying to tell his daughters that they're getting a divorce? I dismiss the thought. Even if it did happen, what's to say he'll want to start up where we left off. He'll be a single man and able to have any woman he desires. I let out a sigh and glance down at my watch.  
  
"We should get the check." I get the waitress's attention and once we pay the bill, we make our way back to the Bureau. 


	38. Chapter 38

"We should get the check." I get the waitress's attention and once we pay the bill, we make our way back to the Bureau.  
  
******  
  
After our team is in place and the bag of money is dropped in the dumpster, I make my way back down the alley towards the main street.  
  
We have agents surrounding the vicinity and as I climb into my waiting vehicle, a man wearing a winter hat and coat turns the corner. He makes his way into the alley, with all entrances blocked. As soon as he goes for the bag, agents are swarming around him, and I step out from the car and join them.  
  
"Nice to see you again, Mr. Appleton."  
  
"I didn't take Stephen!" he tells me with wide, fearful eyes.  
  
"And what was all this?" my voice booms as I feel Martin's hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me.  
  
"I thought this might be an easy way to get the money. Or, at the very least, see you again."  
  
I roll my eyes and control my raging emotions, ready to slug the guy.  
  
Martin walks with me towards the vehicle, opening the door and I take a seat. I hear my cell phone ringing and glance down to see Jack's number displayed.  
  
"You couldn't wait for me to call?" I answer into the ringing phone.  
  
"Nice to hear from you too," Jack answers. "Thought I should give you a heads up. Danny and Vivian found your father, Sam."  
  
"What?" my voice escapes my lips and I feel my breath caught in my lungs.  
  
"He's in the hospital. It was your uncle who was involved."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Your Uncle Marcus isn't talking and Stephen isn't awake yet. We'll have to wait for the answers. I thought you should know, though."  
  
"Thanks," I answer and get the information on which hospital before hanging up.  
  
"Jack?" Martin eyes me and moves his thumb to dry the tears I hadn't realized had fallen.  
  
"They found Stephen Radowski; he's in the hospital," I state with a soft sigh and glance down at the scribbled address I have in my hands. "Would you mind taking me back to the office?"  
  
"Let me inform one of the other agents," Martin answers, shutting my door. A minute or two later he sits down in the driver's seat. You're going to the hospital, aren't you?" "You want me to come with you?  
  
"It's a good three-hour drive. You might as well stay here. Do me a favor, though; check on Eva? Make sure she's all right and let her know where I've gone?"  
  
"Why don't we swing by your place and pick her up? It doesn't sound like you want my company, but Eva wouldn't be so bad?" Martin's eyes meet mine.  
  
"I need to do this alone," I tell him soundly. "Thank you, though."  
  
We make our way into the parking garage and I head to my car and then the highway. I feel my eyes grow heavy at the lack of sleep I've had. I know I could do this tomorrow, but I want to be there---I need to be.  
  
"Oh, shit." I whisper, shaking my head and feeling tears fall down my cheeks. I'm sure Stephen's new family---his wife and daughter---have been contacted. They'll probably be making their way to the hospital too. What will I say to them? What will they say to me? Should I be the one to tell them? "This sucks," I breathe with a sigh as I try and relax on the drive down.  
  
I turn up the radio and roll the window down a little, trying to do everything imaginable to stay awake.  
  
I hear my cell phone and reach over to answer it.  
  
"Spade?"  
  
"Hey, it's Danny. I take it you heard the good news?"  
  
"You found him?" I question.  
  
"Of course. He's awake now too. He has one hell of a story to tell you."  
  
"I'm about forty-five minutes out still."  
  
"He's looking forward to seeing you, Samantha." Danny's voice is soft and honest and I feel my heart skip a beat.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"I wouldn't joke about that," he answers. "Take your time getting here. It's starting to snow where we are, so be careful."  
  
"Thanks," I answer and hang up the phone. I let out a breath, turning the radio up louder and trying to ignore the fact it's quarter to one in the morning and I've been without sleep for too long.  
  
My mind races with all the reasons why my father left, and I can't come up with one good one that I can accept. I know my parents married young, but it's inexcusable. I let out a sigh, pulling into the parking garage and finding my way to room 517. I notice Danny and Vivian standing by the door.  
  
"Why didn't you two go home?" I eye them both.  
  
"We wanted to make sure you got here safely. Besides, we'll have to stay the night in a hotel anyhow. It's very late and the weather's gotten too nasty to head back."  
  
"Thanks, you guys," I tell them with doubt on my face.  
  
"Come on," Danny ushers me into the room.  
  
"Sam?" I hear my father's voice and bite down on my quivering lip as my stomach tenses. I freeze in the doorway--too afraid to come in and too curious to run. I see his wife, Vanessa, in the chair next to his bed and their daughter, Morgan, lying on a chair sleeping.  
  
"I'm going to grab a coffee; want anything?" Vanessa eyes everyone as she leaves the room and I slowly approach him.  
  
His eyes stare into mine and I see so much in such a simple glance---a reflection that boggles and startles me.  
  
I feel like a child all over again, without words but so many emotions. I don't know where or how to begin. I slowly move towards his bedside, finally coming to take a seat where Vanessa sat.  
  
"What happened? They said Marcus did this?" I question.  
  
"Yes." He nods his head and winces in pain. "I was afraid to call your mother," he tells me as his eyes watch mine. "I wanted to see how you were doing and to erase the pain I've caused. I didn't want to die knowing I left you behind. I would always think of you, Sam, and always wondered how you grew up. I called Marcus, hoping to talk to him. We met at a bar and well--" he pauses, his eyes glancing towards his sleeping daughter and then back towards me. "He told me you worked for the FBI now and you moved on with your life. He also told me a few other choice obscenities and I walked out again. I didn't know what else to do. He was screaming such awful things and I realized maybe he was right, but I didn't have any idea what to say or do to make it up to you now. So I drove off---back home. On my way back, he must have been following me. He forced me off the road and into a ditch. Smashed up my car and pulled me from it, but not before hitting me a few times; left me for dead somewhere along the highway. Your agents found me."  
  
I let out an annoyed breath, "Don't expect me to feel sorry for what Marcus did to you. I had to grow up with him in my house because you left us."  
  
"I was a child myself, Sam."  
  
"You had responsibilities!" My voice rises, as my eyes grow narrow with anger. Morgan stirs from her seat, glancing towards me questionably before looking back to her dad. "Did you know Vanessa when you left mom?"  
  
"It wasn't like that." He shakes his head. "I had so much to do and experience. I was only twenty years old when your mother and I had you, Sam."  
  
"That was your choice," I remind him sternly.  
  
"I would have been such an awful father by staying."  
  
"At least then I would have had a father!" I storm out of the hospital room, breezing past Vivian and Danny.  
  
I head for the bathroom, slamming my fists against the tile walls as I moan out in frustration.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Vivian's soft voice behind me.  
  
"Go away," I groan out, feeling tears spill down my cheeks as I try and keep myself together.  
  
"It's okay to be angry with him." I feel her hand on my shoulder.  
  
"It's more than that---he left me!" I cry out in pain. "He promised me the world and instead--"  
  
"He gave you an empty promise," Vivian finishes my thought. "It happens from time to time. Holding a grudge won't turn back time and it won't fix what's been broken. I'm not saying it's easy, but he obviously wants to be a part of your life."  
  
"Why should I let him in?"  
  
"Because whether you realize it or not, he loves you." My eyes meet Vivian's as I feel my breath escape my lungs and a few tears fall a course down my cheeks.  
  
"What do I do now?"  
  
"You come with us to a hotel for the night," she offers, "and in the morning, you'll come back and visit."  
  
I nod my head and feel a yawn escape my lips. "Why don't you give me the keys; I'll drive you over."  
  
"I'm okay. I made it this far," I remind Vivian, as we step out from the bathroom.  
  
"I'm just looking out for you."  
  
I hold onto my keys, but Vivian agrees to drive with me to the hotel. We make our way to the hotel lobby, getting three rooms as I realize I didn't bring any spare clothes with me.  
  
"Shit," I shake my head in dismay.  
  
"What is it, Samantha?" Vivian eyes me as I follow her to Danny's car where she grabs her bag.  
  
"I left in such a rush that I didn't even think about grabbing a change of clothes."  
  
"You don't have a spare set in your trunk?"  
  
"I took them out the other day because they needed to be washed," I answer with a sigh. "I'll worry about it in the morning." I take my key and enter the hotel room. It's a small place, but the room's in better condition than most places I've stayed.  
  
I slip out of my work clothes and slide between the sheets for a night of peaceful sleep. 


	39. Chapter 39

I slip out of my work clothes and slide between the sheets for a night of peaceful sleep.  
  
*******  
  
As morning breaks, I roll around, too tired to awaken just yet. I glance at the clock and realize its quarter to noon.  
  
I slowly manage my way out of bed and into the shower to freshen up. I slip back into my wrinkled attire and figure on checking out later if not tomorrow, since I already slept through the checkout time.  
  
I make my way outside, noticing Danny's car gone and likely Vivian left with him. I slip inside my vehicle and head for the hospital. I glance down at my watch and feel my stomach grumbling.  
  
I head for the cafeteria, grabbing a bagel and taking it up to my father's room. I stand outside the doorway, taking a bite of breakfast as I see his family inside with him.  
  
What am I doing here? Do I even belong? I let out a breath, contemplating if I should just go on home.  
  
I feel warm hands on my hips, pulling me in close from behind. "What the-- ?" I turn my head back to see Jack standing right there beside me.  
  
"Vivian called me," he whispers into my ear. "It seems you forgot a change of clothes." I turn around in his embrace.  
  
"You didn't drive all this way to bring me something to wear." I eye him intently.  
  
"You're right," he nods and takes my hands in his. "I wanted to be here for you."  
  
"Jack--" His eyes cut me off as he glances down at my quivering lips.  
  
"Viv told me about last night."  
  
"Yeah, well--" I shrug with a sigh, "after all this time, I have nothing to say to him."  
  
"You could start by meeting your half-sister, Morgan," he answers.  
  
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I respond wearily.  
  
"You came all this way." I feel his hand on my lower back, holding me close. "Besides," I feel his breath on my ear, "I'll make it worth your while." I eye him, curious of his intentions.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"You didn't check out of your hotel room yet, did you?"  
  
"No," I pause and let out a soft breath eyeing him.  
  
"Why don't you give me your key. I'll take your clothes back to your place while you talk to your father?"  
  
"I don't think so," I laugh softly. "You're not leaving me here, alone."  
  
"Oh, come on. An hour ago you didn't even know I was coming."  
  
I grip onto his hand. "Now that you're here, though, I'm not letting you out of my sight." I apprehensively take a step inside the hospital room, with Jack attached to my hand.  
  
"Remember when I told you about Samantha?" I hear my father's voice speaking to Morgan.  
  
The young girl turns around, curious as to whom I am. She looks me over and then glances towards Jack.  
  
"Who are you?" She stares him down, as his hand stays linked with mine.  
  
"Jack Malone," he takes his free hand, putting it out to introduce himself.  
  
Morgan stares at it and then glances towards her dad. "Are you going to leave me?" I can tell she's hurt by what she's been told and I'm curious how much is true.  
  
"Never," he answers as she moves over to give him a hug and then slip out the room.  
  
"I truly am sorry," Stephen tells me, as I feel Jack trying to gently push me deeper into the room.  
  
I let out a soft breath, not sure if I can forgive him for what he did.  
  
"You shouldn't lie to Morgan," I eye him sternly.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Telling her you'll never leave her. You promised me you'd always be there. You promised me you'd be listening and if I needed anything you'd come for me. You promised me a lot of things--" I trail off, feeling my voice break.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sam."  
  
"No, you're not."  
  
"I am. Do you know how long I've lived with the guilt of what I've done? I wanted to make it up to you, I still do--" he pauses and lets out a soft breath. "I know that anything I say won't make it right, though."  
  
I let out an annoyed breath, not having an answer to give him. "Sam," I hear Jack's voice in my ear and lean back into his embrace as he stands slightly behind me.  
  
"I didn't come back here to forgive you."  
  
"Then why are you here?" My father's eyes meet mine.  
  
"I have a half-sister outside," I point out. "She has a right to know what you did and about the family you left behind."  
  
"I was a child, Sam," his voice pleads with me. "I didn't know any better."  
  
"You must have, or else you wouldn't feel guilty about it!" I retort, turning around and ready to exit the room when I feel Jack's body in the way. My eyes glare at his to let me go. He steps out of the way, letting me storm by him as I head to the hall to get away.  
  
I can only imagine what Jack's saying to my father, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Don't cry." I hear Vanessa's soft voice beside me.  
  
I let out a breath, biting down on my lower lip. I turn around to face her, but my eyes study anything but her face.  
  
"It's ridiculous," I answer, sucking in a breath to keep my tears from falling.  
  
"What is?" she says as she eyes me curiously.  
  
"This," I gesture, "finding him. I don't think I'm cut out for it." I shake my head as I see Jack slowly making his way down the hall towards us.  
  
"I can't imagine what you're going through," Vanessa tells me. "He's a good man, though, even with what he did in the past." Her eyes meet mine, "Don't forget you're still his daughter, even if he did run out."  
  
"He has another daughter now," I remind her. "He doesn't need me in his life."  
  
"You're wrong." I eye her curiously. "Not only does Stephen need you, but so does Morgan. She's your half-sister, and whether you realize it or not, right now she's feeling some of the same emotions that you are---she's terrified he'll leave."  
  
"I can't lie to her and tell her he won't."  
  
"You don't have to," she answers, nodding towards Morgan who's sitting on a chair in the lounge area. "Just be a friend and a sister, because that's what she needs."  
  
I let out a soft breath and head for the lounge. I eye Jack to follow me and feel his hand on my lower back, escorting me to sit down.  
  
"Hi, Morgan." I smile over towards her, as she glances through a magazine.  
  
"Hey," she whispers with a sigh, her eyes on the ground and her face sullen.  
  
"Your dad's going to be all right," I tell her with a half-smile.  
  
"Yeah," she nods with a shrug and then after a minute or two of silence between us, she glances up and into my eyes. "So, you're really my sister?"  
  
"Half-sister, yeah," I nod gently. "You're how old--fifteen?"  
  
"Thirteen," she answers with a sigh. "I wish I was fifteen. Then I wouldn't be so far away from driving and getting away from this crappy town." I can't hide the smile on my face. "What?" She eyes me curiously.  
  
"Sounds familiar," I respond.  
  
Jack and I spend most of the afternoon with my father and his new family, getting acquainted with everyone. As evening progresses onward, my father is released from the hospital and I walk with him down to the front door, with Jack at my side.  
  
"If you need anything," I eye my father sternly, "don't be a stranger," I tell him with a soft smile.  
  
"Tell your mother I'm sorry."  
  
"Maybe you should tell her." I eye him intently.  
  
"I know she doesn't want to see me. Not after everything I've put you both through."  
  
"You never know," I answer softly. "I'm going to stop by tomorrow; it'd be nice if you joined us."  
  
"Sam," his voice is low to keep everyone else from hearing, "I don't belong there."  
  
"You can't tell her you're all right?"  
  
"You can." His eyes meet mine.  
  
"I suppose I could, but I thought you were looking for forgiveness?"  
  
"I was looking for you," he answers.  
  
My eyes watch his as I let out a soft breath a minute later. We step out front and I see Vanessa pulling the car up. "Take care of yourself," I say, embracing him with a hug. "And make sure Morgan knows that if she needs anything to call me."  
  
"She knows," he nods softly. "She likes you."  
  
"Who doesn't?" Jack quips.  
  
"Take care of her," my father tells Jack, as they exchange handshakes before he heads into the car.  
  
I feel Jack's hand on my lower back and his lips beside my ear, "Ready to head home?"  
  
"Can you take me back to the hotel?" My eyes meet his.  
  
"Sure," he nods with a soft smile and escorts me to the car.  
  
"You can go home if you want." I glance in his direction as we head for the hotel.  
  
"Sam, I want to be here with you."  
  
"Thanks. You think you can put up with another day of meeting my family?" I tease with a warm laugh.  
  
"You want to see your mother?"  
  
"It'd be nice."  
  
"I should come; I owe her an apology." My eyes rise in amusement. "For sending Vivian and Danny to talk with her. It might have helped but I have the feeling I scared her."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"I talked to Vivian," Jack's eyes meet mine before heading back to the road.  
  
"And?"  
  
"I think your mother's worried about you."  
  
"Yeah, it's been awhile since I've seen her."  
  
"Or called." Jack points out.  
  
"I've been busy," I shake my head. "Whose side are you on anyhow?"  
  
"Yours," he answers as we pull into the hotel parking lot.  
  
I slip out of the car, digging in my pocket for the key to the room. I feel Jack's presence behind me as I open the door and notice him carrying my duffel bag.  
  
"Thanks," I tell him as he places the bag on a chair and I take a seat on the edge of the bed.  
  
Jack moves over towards me, his legs brushing against mine as he stands in front of me. "Do I need to get my own room for tonight or--" his voice trails off with a hint of shyness and a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.  
  
"I think you should get your own room," I answer with a smile forming on my lips. He nods with a slightly disappointed look in his eyes as my hand moves to his chest. "I was thinking we wouldn't disturb anyone next door then," I tease as I lean up towards him, capturing his lips with mine.  
  
My lips beg to be kissed as his tongue brushes against mine. My hand encompasses his body, pulling him closer and down against my body, wanting to feel all of him.  
  
Our legs hang off the bed as Jack's lips nip at my neck and his hands tease through my hair.  
  
"Jack," I breathe out in a deep throaty voice. My hands tug at his belt buckle, forcefully pulling it from him and ripping at his clothes.  
  
"Sam?" His eyes meet mine with a look of amusement on his face as I pull at his shirt and toss it to the floor. I scoot back on the bed, and begin unbuttoning my blouse. "Let me," he tells me, moving onto the bed and hovering above me. His mouth kisses its way down my neck, while his fingers tenderly work on the buttons.  
  
My breathing grows deep as my hands claw at his chest.  
  
"Are you always this feisty?" Jack questions with a smile as he continues kissing down my breasts and over my stomach, peeling back my blouse. "Don't you ever just want to savior the experience?"  
  
"Yes," I breathe out, feeling his tongue dip into my navel as his hands work on pulling my pants down.  
  
"Good," Jack answers as I feel my eyes slip close and his fingers on my inner thighs. A gasp of air escapes my lungs, as I groan out and roll around, resting my body above his.  
  
"You know I like to be in control," I remind him, grinding my hips into his as his eyes slip closed and he stifles a moan. "Let it out," I answer, leaning down and moving my mouth to his for a juicy kiss.  
  
I let all worries and pain cease to exist as we become one for a short time. His hands, lips, and body take me to the ultimate high as our kisses pleasure one another.  
  
"Sam," his voice is soft in my ears, as I feel him clinging to my body.  
  
I roll onto my stomach, lying flat against the mattress as I feel the bed shift and Jack rest on his side, keeping me warm.  
  
I feel the cool air settling into the room and slip between the covers to keep warm. Jack joins me, his arm resting along my back as I lay on my stomach with my head turned towards him.  
  
His hand softly draws circles over my skin as I close my eyes momentarily.  
  
"Tell me again about the night your father left." Jack's voice is soft and warm but the words he speaks cause my heart to split in two.  
  
"It's not a very good bedtime story."  
  
"Then I guess we'll have to stay up," he answers, rolling towards me to press a warm, inviting kiss to my shoulder blades. 


	40. Chapter 40

"Tell me again about the night your father left." Jack's voice is soft and warm but the words he speaks cause my heart to split in two.  
  
"It's not a very good bedtime story."  
  
"Then I guess we'll have to stay up," he answers, rolling towards me to press a warm, inviting kiss to my shoulder blades.  
  
******  
  
"Jack," I breathe softly, enjoying the feeling of his lips on me but not wanting to remember the pain and sadness I've endured.  
  
"Are you afraid I'll leave?" My eyes glance into his, reminding him he has in the past. "I'm sorry," he kisses my shoulder softly, the bare skin beneath his warm lips. I let out a soft breath, closing my eyes at the intimacy and love I haven't experienced in far too long.  
  
"I was three," I answer him, opening my eyes to feel the warmth from his gaze. I roll onto my side, finding myself in his arms and feeling protected. "He came into my room when I was asleep and gave me a kiss. I woke up and saw him looking down at me with sad eyes. I told him I was sorry, because earlier that night I threw a tantrum-although I don't remember what it was about." I laugh softly and feel his arms drawing soft lines over my back as he clings to me.  
  
"He gave me a key chain of a rabbit's foot and promised me that whenever I made a wish, he would always be listening and be there to do his best to make it come true. I asked him why he was crying as he gave me a final kiss goodnight and slipped out of my bedroom. I felt as though something wasn't right, but I was only three years old," I remind him.  
  
Jack presses a soft kiss to my forehead, as his eyes look deeply into mine.  
  
"As I grew older, I vowed if I ever found a man, I wouldn't fall in love because all he would do is hurt me--like my father did to my mother."  
  
"I'm sorry, Sam."  
  
"Don't be," I shake my head with tears in my eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong."  
  
"But I have," he answers, running his hand through my hair as he kisses the tears away. "I've done so much I wish I could take back, and there's so much I wish I would have done differently."  
  
"I really don't want to be talking about Maria right now." I eye him.  
  
"Then why are you bringing her up?" His eyes stare into mine as I let out a soft breath and glance away.  
  
"I guess I'm afraid you'll go back to her, like you always do."  
  
I feel his finger on my chin as my eyes move back towards his.  
  
"That's never going to happen."  
  
"What do you mean?" I question.  
  
"I told you, Maria and I are getting a divorce."  
  
"You also said you were trying to work things out," I remind him.  
  
"Her idea of working things out was for me to quit the Bureau, and I couldn't do that. This job is what I live for, and to lose that would be losing a part of myself."  
  
"So you're really getting a divorce?"  
  
He nods his head 'yes'. "Last night I even talked to the girls about it. They weren't happy, but Hannah wasn't entirely surprised. Speaking of which, I still have your hair scrunchie in my car."  
  
I can't hide the soft smile on my lips. "So, where does that leave us?"  
  
"Where do you want it to leave us?" He moves his lips closer, and I feel his leg sliding between mine as he rolls me onto my back.  
  
"Mmm, right here is good," I answer, closing my eyes as I feel his mouth descend on mine.  
  
"We should get some sleep." He presses a soft kiss to my cheek and leans towards the lamp to shut it off. He cuddles close to my body, keeping me warm as we drift off to sleep together.  
  
I feel Jack's arm around my waist as my eyes slowly open, allowing the morning light to shine in.  
  
"Hey," his voice is low and raspy and his head is resting against mine.  
  
"You stayed," I whisper, with a slightly surprised look on my face.  
  
"I told you I was going to." I feel his hand move along my hip, drawing me towards him.  
  
"I suppose you did," I answer with a yawn. My eyes close, as I feel Jack's clothed body beside me. "You put on something?" I question, peeking out from the darkness.  
  
"Yeah, I got cold last night." My hand feels over his naked chest and down towards the waistband of his boxers.  
  
"Didn't think to lend me something?"  
  
"You were sound asleep." Jack presses a soft kiss to my lips, as I feel myself growing more awakened. Jack sits up in bed and I eye him curiously. "You want your pajamas or something of mine?"  
  
"Stay here." I sit up slightly, holding one hand to the sheets to keep them from falling and using my other hand to tug on his shoulder, pulling him back down onto the bed. "I want you to keep me warm."  
  
I see Jack's lips tugging upwards in a smile. "I'll see what I can do," he answers, slipping between the covers and rolling me onto my back. His lips melt onto mine as his body burns above me.  
  
My fingers tease at the waistband of his shorts, skimming his stomach, as I feel his muscles clench.  
  
"Relax," I remind him, glancing up into his eyes.  
  
"Shouldn't I be telling you that? You're the one who always quickens the pace."  
  
"I know," I answer with a soft laugh. "I realized that recently. I thought you were the one always rushing things, until last night I realized it was me." I laugh softly and bite down on my lower lip with a smile. "I guess you do that to me." I lean up to press a soft kiss to his lips.  
  
"Don't you ever want to savior the experience?"  
  
"Always," I answer, taking a taste of Jack's mouth and moving my hand down his back. "Then again," I breathe out in a heavier voice, feeling my way down his body with kisses.  
  
"I thought I was supposed to keep you warm?" he questions as my lips dance along the edge of his boxers, tugging them off.  
  
"You are," I answer, feeling his knee slide between both my legs as his mouth teases mine with feather-light kisses. "Ugh," I groan out, gently biting down on his lower lip before running my tongue over his mouth. "You shouldn't tease me."  
  
"And why not?" he chuckles softly.  
  
"You make me want you more," I groan, biting down on my lower lip as my breathing intensifies.  
  
"And that's a bad thing?" he teases into my ear.  
  
"It is if you're trying to slow things down."  
  
"I don't want to slow anything down," he whispers into my ear. "I just want to enjoy this a little longer."  
  
"So, enjoy it," I answer, moving my mouth down his jaw and over his chest.  
  
"Sam," his voice is gruff and my cell phone jars loudly, interrupting us. "Are you going to answer it?" He eyes me as my lips continue a path down his torso.  
  
I slip out from under him and reach towards the nightstand to see Martin's number. I let out a sigh as Jack glances over my shoulder.  
  
"Tell him you're in the middle of something," he reminds me, as I answer the ringing phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Samantha."  
  
"I'm kind of busy right now," I answer, feeling Jack's body moving to straddle my frame as I lay back and feel his kisses down my breasts. My breathing grows heavy and I stifle a moan.  
  
"I wanted to offer to take you to breakfast. I was worried how things went."  
  
"I'm not home yet," I answer with a breath, feeling my words begin to fail me. I glance into Jack's eyes, as he smiles and continues to kiss and devour my body.  
  
"Samantha, it sounds like you're with someone."  
  
"Yeah, I'm up visiting my family," I point out, "and you caught me at a bad time."  
  
"I can call back later? Or maybe you could call me when you get home."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow," I offer the words to remind him.  
  
"Yeah, be careful on your ride home."  
  
"I will." I hang up the phone and toss it to the floor as I feel Jack's fingers teasing my thighs apart. "Are you trying to get us caught?" My eyes glare into his with a smile.  
  
"I'm just making sure there's no question who you want."  
  
"Oh," my eyes widen with a grin. "You worried I might ditch you for Martin?" I tease.  
  
"I'm not too concerned," Jack answers. "I'm pretty sure I know where your heart lies."  
  
"Yeah," I nod, pulling his mouth towards me, "just in case there's any question." My tongue dances along his lips, seeking its way into his mouth as my body aches for his.  
  
"Jack," I groan, feeling his hot breath on my neck.  
  
"I love you." His voice is low and sexy in my ear.  
  
"I love you too." I feel a smile forming on my lips as my breath catches in my throat. I groan out, feeling Jack's body warm me to the core. My breathing grows heavy and thick as my hands clench on to him.  
  
Minutes pass, and we lay there together, our breathing slowly calming down.  
  
"You're incredible," Jack whispers, his fingers in my hair.  
  
"Mmm," I answer in a breath with closed eyes.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
I keep my eyes shut, not wanting to face the reality of the moment---the fact that Jack isn't officially divorced yet, and Martin is still in love with me.  
  
"Yeah?" I breathe out, feeling his hands drawing through my hair.  
  
"I told Hannah about you."  
  
My eyes flash open as I sit up in bed, clenching the blanket to my breasts. "You did what?"  
  
"Calm down," Jack laughs, softly tugging at me to lay down with him. "She knew there was someone else, and I couldn't lie to her."  
  
"You could have stretched the truth."  
  
"No, Sam, I couldn't have. She would have found out sooner or later."  
  
"You had to tell her before you consulted me about what I wanted?"  
  
"Sam, calm down." His hand runs against my arm, as I lay on my side, facing him.  
  
"I just wish you wouldn't have said anything yet."  
  
"What was I supposed to do? Wait until she was getting married?"  
  
"Jack," I shake my head and wait a minute before continuing, "I don't know what you're asking of me."  
  
"You're one of the best parts of my life, and I wanted you to be a part of their lives."  
  
"We can't." My eyes meet his. "There's work and what if--"  
  
"There's a million 'what if' scenarios, Sam," Jack interrupts me. "I can't say for certain what I want, but I know I want you in my life."  
  
I let out a soft breath and press a gentle kiss to his lips, as I lay my head down beside his.  
  
"What'd Hannah say?"  
  
"I didn't tell her everything, just that I thought the world of you."  
  
"Does she know about the affair?"  
  
"I didn't tell her."  
  
"And if she asks?" My eyes rise to meet his.  
  
"I'd be honest with her."  
  
"You still didn't answer my question," I remind him.  
  
"She told me she missed me being happy. She wasn't excited to find out about the divorce, but she wasn't oblivious to the problems."  
  
"And Kate?"  
  
Jack nods his head, "She wasn't as accepting." I let out a soft breath. "She's a child, though, it won't take long for her to accept you."  
  
"And if she doesn't? What if they don't? I can't ask you to choose between your family and me."  
  
Jack's lips meet mine for a reassuring kiss. "Don't worry," he answers. "I love you and I love my daughters. Nothing will change either of those things." He presses a kiss to my forehead as I lean into his warm body.  
  
"Jack," I glance into his eyes and bite down on my lower lip, "I want to talk to you about something, but I don't want you to get upset."  
  
"All right," he answers, rolling onto his back as I roll onto my stomach and rest on my elbows to glance down at him. 


	41. Chapter 41

"Jack," I glance into his eyes and bite down on my lower lip, "I want to talk to you about something, but I don't want you to get upset."  
  
"All right," he answers, rolling onto his back as I roll onto my stomach and rest on my elbows to glance down at him.  
  
******  
  
"You were so adamant about me seeing someone after being shot," I pause, letting out a breath, "but you never talked to anyone about what happened when you were in there."  
  
"Samantha." His eyes glance into mine.  
  
"Jack, I have to know because whatever was said, you changed from that day on."  
  
"I know," he nods his head with a sigh. "I went home to Maria that morning, but not before stopping by the hospital."  
  
"You stopped by?"  
  
"Yeah," Jack nods his head, running his hand through his hair. "You were still in surgery, and I waited for the news that you were out and all right before I went home."  
  
"I thought you might have showed up and I just didn't know about it."  
  
"I left you a vase of flowers and signed the card with a heart."  
  
"So that was from you."  
  
"Who else did you think it was from?"  
  
"I wasn't sure. Martin made me think it was from him."  
  
"Figures," Jack laughs and shakes his head.  
  
"So, what happened in the bookstore?"  
  
"Samantha."  
  
"Please tell me," I whisper. "I told you about my father leaving me. It couldn't be much worse than that," I point out.  
  
"I had a gun to my head." He eyes me seriously.  
  
"And I had a bullet lodged in my leg. What's your point?" I let out a soft breath. "I don't doubt you were scared for you life; I know I was."  
  
"It's not that." Jack shakes his head and stares up at the ceiling.  
  
"Then tell me," I press on.  
  
"He reminded me so much of my father." Jack shakes his head. "Barry knew about us. I guess when I traded my life for yours--" I silence him with a soft kiss before he continues. "He thought I was selfish for destroying my family and all along I kept seeing my father's face. I confronted Barry about his attempted suicide and I couldn't back down. I told Barry everything that I've ever wanted to say to my father--about how he's good at feeling sorry for himself."  
  
"Jack."  
  
"I couldn't drop it, though. He kept telling me to shut up, and it only reminded me more of my father." My hand trails along his chest as I press a kiss to his shoulder. "I reminded him that she isn't coming back and, in that moment, I saw my mother's face and my father's eyes of anger and hatred."  
  
"Your father doesn't hate you." I run my hand down the blankets to find his fingers. I intertwine them as his eyes meet mine.  
  
"He does," Jack nods and closes his eyes. "I don't blame him, though."  
  
"How can he hate you? It was never your fault."  
  
"I never told him that it wasn't his fault, though," Jack answers with a sigh. "I never talked much to my father after my mother died. We drifted apart, but he was so much like Barry; he was so good at feeling sorry for himself."  
  
"That's not your fault." I glance into Jack's eyes. "It was never your responsibility to look after your father."  
  
"If I would have, he wouldn't be an alcoholic." Jack's eyes meet mine with a sigh as he rolls onto his side and his hand slides along my hips.  
  
"You don't know that." I move my hand along his chest softly. "You can't worry about him; you have your own family now," I remind Jack. I let out a soft sigh, remembering that as much as I love him, I'm not really a part of his family or anyone else's.  
  
I glance around the room and then at the clock. I slip out of bed.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Shower. Care to join me?" I glance back towards him.  
  
"I don't think I can even manage to walk right now," he answers.  
  
"Oh, come on," I roll my eyes. "I should be the one complaining," I retort. "So, are you going to join me?"  
  
"Will you be mad if I lie here for a little while longer?"  
  
"No, go ahead and rest." I open the bathroom door, "you're just going to miss one hell of a show," I quip and close the door before running the shower.  
  
I step beneath the warm spray, enjoying the solitude. "Sam?" I hear Jack's voice.  
  
"You decided to join me?" I pull back the curtain to see him with my cell phone in his hands. "Oh. Take a message."  
  
"I tried, but Eva wouldn't listen."  
  
"Tell her I'm in the shower and--"  
  
"Eva," Jack pauses, "yeah, you heard Sam? All right she'll call you later." Jack turns off the phone and heads out of the bathroom.  
  
"You're not going to join me?"  
  
"Oh, I am," Jack answers, as he slips back in through the door and pulls back the curtain to join me. "I had to put your phone on the bed," he points out. Jack's eyes watch mine.  
  
"What?" I question with a smile.  
  
"I have this sneaking suspicion that Eva knows about us."  
  
"Oh." I can't hide my laugh as I turn my back to grab the soap. I feel Jack's hands around my hips as he pulls me against him.  
  
"Did you tell her?" His breath is on my neck, as I turn my head back slightly to see his expression.  
  
"I might have told her some of what was going on. She doesn't know we slept together recently, although she is voting on Maria leaving you, and then you and me hooking up."  
  
"Sounds like a really bad reality show." I shake my head with a laugh and run my soapy hands along his chest. "You have to promise me you won't tell Eva about us."  
  
"I can't lie to her. She's going to know."  
  
"Not if you don't tell her."  
  
"Oh, come on! You don't think you spending the night will give it away?" He bites down on his lower lip. "Tell me you're not having second thoughts."  
  
"It's not that." He presses a soft kiss to my lips before I run my hands through Jack's scalp to rinse his hair. "I'm just concerned. We haven't told Martin yet about us. He's bound to find out, but it needs to be from you."  
  
"I know." I let out a soft sigh. "That still doesn't explain why I can't tell Eva. Besides, you already told your girls."  
  
He nods his head with a sigh. "We'll tell her, when the time is right."  
  
"Jack--" I plead with him.  
  
"Do you trust me?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Then trust me when I tell you, I'll be staying overnight--if you still want me?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I?" I wrap my arms around his frame, as we finish up in the shower and turn the water off. I grab a towel, pulling it over my body.  
  
"Good."  
  
"And you don't expect Eva to know what's going on?"  
  
"We're going to pretend like nothing's happening," Jack tells me.  
  
"I hate that game." I eye him seriously. "I want to at least be able to confide in one other person about us."  
  
"You will, when the time is right. Eva will figure things out for herself. In the meantime, we're going to your mother's, right?"  
  
"Yeah," I nod my head and step out from the bathroom to grab a fresh change of clothes.  
  
After I finish pulling my clothes on, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and Jack's eyes meet mine.  
  
"What are we going to do about Martin? He's still in love with you." His words are simple and yet I know there's only one answer he's looking for.  
  
"I don't know," I whisper with a soft breath. "I guess I'll have to break his heart. I just want to let him down gently. I'll take him to dinner and--"  
  
"Sam, you're trailing him along."  
  
"I can't tell him over the phone; it's not right."  
  
"I trust you." His eyes bore into mine and I feel my stomach tense.  
  
"You can come if you want, Jack."  
  
"No, you should tell him."  
  
"I will when we get back. We should head out." I grab my bag and Jack takes his to the car. "We can take my car," I offer, dropping my bag into the trunk and letting Jack do the same with his.  
  
"Sounds good," he nods and we slip into my car and make my way to my mother's home. 


	42. Chapter 42

"I will when we get back. We should head out." I grab my bag and Jack takes his to the car. "We can take my car," I offer, dropping my bag into the trunk and letting Jack do the same with his.  
  
"Sounds good," he nods and we slip into my car and make my way to my mother's home.  
  
**********  
  
It's been years since I've seen her, and months since I've talked to her. I feel awful for the lack of communication, in part because it's my fault. I'm the one who always insists on coming to visit, but never do. I'm the one who doesn't answer the phone, or makes an excuse to get off the line. I'm the one who's running away from home, even after all these years-some things never change.  
  
"Jack," I glance towards him and then back towards the road as I get off at the exit.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have you thought about what might happen when I tell Martin we're seeing each other?"  
  
"You mean do I think he'll go running to his father?" Jack's gaze is on me.  
  
"Yeah," I laugh softly.  
  
"I think if you're honest with him, he'll understand-at least I hope he will." Jack's voice is soft and reassuring. "You're not getting cold feet about breaking his heart, are you?"  
  
"No, I can handle it," I answer. We pull up in front of my mother's home and step out from the car. "Coming?" I question towards Jack, as he stands by the vehicle.  
  
"Yeah." He follows me up the porch and to the front door. I knock briskly and then use the key to get in.  
  
"Mom?" I glance around the house and shut the door behind Jack.  
  
"Samantha, is that you?" I hear her footsteps coming down the stairs. She opens her arms to give me a hug and asks, "Who'd you bring home with you?"  
  
"Jack Malone," he puts out his hand to introduce himself.  
  
"Come in, make yourselves at home. I was worried about you, Samantha. You hadn't called on Christmas and then they sent two FBI Agents to the house," she lets out a breath. "I thought something happened to you."  
  
"I'm fine," I reassure her and take a seat beside Jack on the sofa.  
  
The room is quiet for several moments before I feel Jack's hand squeeze mine.  
  
"I'm surprised to see you," my mother tells me as she heads into the kitchen. "Can I get you both anything?"  
  
"No, I'm fine."  
  
"What about you, Jack?" My mother eyes him intently.  
  
"No, thank you."  
  
"We found dad," I tell her, biting down on my lower lip.  
  
"You did?" She stops on her way back into the living room. "Is he all right?"  
  
"He's married, and they have a daughter."  
  
She nods her head and lets out a breath. "He's okay then?"  
  
"He was in the hospital after what Uncle Marcus did." I eye her.  
  
"Yes," she lets out a sigh, "I suspected as much when they came to arrest him." She's quiet, and her eyes meet mine. She glances towards Jack.  
  
"I'll be back," he tells me, standing up and looking for the bathroom.  
  
As soon as he's out of the room my mother asks the questions she's been wanting to. "Did he tell you why he left us?"  
  
"Mom," I move towards her, resting my hand on her shoulder. "It was over twenty-five years ago," I remind her.  
  
"Did he tell you why?"  
  
"I don't want to get into it," I answer. "You can call him if you really want to know. I'll leave you the number."  
  
"Samantha," my mother captures my hand in hers, "are you happy?"  
  
"Mom?" My gaze is questioning. "I don't understand--?  
  
"With Jack? Does he make you happy?"  
  
"We're not getting married," I answer with a soft laugh. "But, yes, he makes me happy." I see Jack coming down the hall, his eyes on mine. "There's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with."  
  
"And imagine how you would feel if he left you."  
  
"Mom," I let out a soft breath and feel Jack's hands on my shoulders.  
  
"I would never leave your daughter," he tells my mother. "I can't begin to fathom what you're going through, not knowing where your husband was for all those years. I do know and understand what Sam went through, though. I lost my mother when I was young."  
  
"She didn't walk out on your family though, did she?" My mother's eyes look cold and lonely as I let out a soft breath, feeling my stomach ache for Jack.  
  
"No, she committed suicide. I'd have rather she'd left us. At least then she could have been happy."  
  
"Is that what you think? My husband left so he could be happy?" My mother's voice rises as Jack's grip on my shoulders tightens.  
  
"I think we should go." I wiggle my way from Jack's grip and take his hand in mine.  
  
"You're going to leave already? You just got here."  
  
"I can't be around you right now," I tell her.  
  
"Right now? You're never around," she retorts.  
  
"Whose fault is that?" I eye her sternly. "Do you think I wanted to come home and see Marcus? Do you think I enjoyed living under this roof?"  
  
"You could have come home to see me."  
  
"You never made my life any easier," I answer.  
  
"And you think you did, Samantha? Do you think it was easy working full- time and raising a child?"  
  
"That was your decision," I point out. "I never asked for any of this." I head for the front door.  
  
"You think I did?"  
  
"You brought it upon yourself. You let Marcus move in, which was one of the worst things you could have done."  
  
"What was I supposed to do? I couldn't afford childcare when you were growing up. He was the only free help I could get."  
  
"Free help? By letting Marcus inside your home, it cost you more then you can imagine. He spent half of what you earned on liquor. Did you ever stop to think that maybe if he left you, it would have been a good thing?"  
  
"No," my mother shakes her head at the thought. "Marcus is a good man."  
  
"He tried to kill Stephen!" I remind her, opening the front door to leave.  
  
"He thought he was doing what was best for this family."  
  
"Yeah, well he did one hell of a job," I respond angrily, stepping out to the porch with Jack beside me.  
  
I see the look in Jack's eyes and give in, handing him the keys to drive. I know he thinks I'm too emotional to be behind the wheel right now and he's probably right.  
  
I take a seat beside him and buckle in, as I feel the car start and we pull out onto the road.  
  
"I'm sorry," I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes. I bite down on my lip, holding the pain inside.  
  
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam." I feel his hand in mine and he squeezes it reassuringly. "We should head back to the hotel and get my car."  
  
"Yeah, right." I let out a soft breath.  
  
"You going to be all right to drive home?"  
  
"I think I can manage," I answer. "You going to drop by tonight or--"  
  
"I'll be late. I don't want to wake you, though." His eyes glance towards mine as we pull into the parking lot of the hotel.  
  
"I'll be up," I answer, stepping out of the car to head for the driver's seat while Jack heads into his car. He gives me a soft kiss on the lips as his arms snake around my waist.  
  
"See you later," he whispers into my ear and heads for his car.  
  
"What about lunch?" I glance towards him. "Or an early dinner?"  
  
"I need to get back." He eyes his watch. "We'll go out for a real dinner next week, just the two of us."  
  
"All right," I let out a breath and get into my car, heading for the highway. I make a stop for fast food, grabbing something quick to eat and head back towards home. 


	43. Chapter 43

"I need to get back." He eyes his watch. "We'll go out for a real dinner next week, just the two of us."  
  
"All right," I let out a breath and get into my car, heading for the highway. I make a stop for fast food, grabbing something quick to eat and head back towards home.  
  
**********  
  
I make my way into the apartment, seeing Eva on the couch, munching on potato chips.  
  
"Hey, Samantha."  
  
"How was your weekend?" I question, taking my bag inside and dropping it on the kitchen table.  
  
"Good. Jack stopped by. I see you got your overnight bag," she grins.  
  
"Yeah, he dropped it off," I nod, not telling her anything more.  
  
"So?" Her eyes widen with a smile.  
  
"What?" I question with confusion. "Oh, I haven't eaten much. What'd you do for dinner?"  
  
"Martin stopped by. He cooked."  
  
"You're kidding?"  
  
"Nope," she answers, lying back on the sofa. "He was hoping you'd be home in time. We tried your cell phone, but you didn't answer."  
  
"Yeah, I went up to see my father and then today I stopped by my mom's place," I respond.  
  
"Martin mentioned that your father left; you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really," I answer. "I've thought about it too much this weekend."  
  
"So," she eyes me intently, "you still haven't answered me about Jack."  
  
"There isn't anything to say. He mentioned he might stop by late tonight."  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Nothing's going on," I remind her. "The two of us needed to talk after what happened this weekend."  
  
"Yeah?" She sits up, curious for the details.  
  
"There were some arguments," I tell her honestly, remembering the fight with my mother and her demeanor towards both Jack and myself. "Anyways, he was going to come by so we could talk."  
  
"Talk? So, that's what you call it." Eva's eyes meet the television. "I hope you know how to let down Martin. He's even more in love with you now."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Yeah, he thinks it's great that you went up to see your family. He wishes he had the nerve to confront his father. He thinks you're a goddess or something." She laughs and eyes me seriously. "I did not tell you that."  
  
"Right," I nod my head and glance towards the clock.  
  
"Oh yeah, I didn't get to tell you. I got the job!"  
  
"That's great, Eva." I give her a hug and sit down beside her. "Where are you working?"  
  
"It's an office job, a couple blocks down. The pay isn't too crummy either."  
  
I can't help but smile. "I'm happy for you."  
  
"Thanks." She eyes the television.  
  
"What are you watching?"  
  
"Nothing really. I've been channel surfing. You don't have any of the good movie channels."  
  
"I'm never home," I point out. "No sense in paying for what you don't watch."  
  
"I guess so," Eva sighs.  
  
"You want me to order in a pizza? I could use something to eat."  
  
"Sounds good." I dial for pizza and take a seat, finally being able to relax. "I'm not sure I'm going to make it up," said Eva.  
  
"You will. So you start work tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do you have clothes?"  
  
"Yeah, Martin helped me out."  
  
"You're kidding?"  
  
"No. I told you he came over. We hung out most of the weekend."  
  
"Interesting," I nod, wondering if Eva were a little older, maybe something would progress between them. At least then I'd have Martin off my hands.  
  
"No, Samantha, what's interesting is you spending the weekend with Jack, but not giving me the details."  
  
"There aren't any to give," I shrug in response and hear the doorbell. "Dinner," I grin, standing up and grabbing some cash for the pizza.  
  
Eva carries the food into the kitchen while I handle the money. I take a seat at the table with her, eating as much as I can.  
  
There's a comfortable silence between us, and right now I'm grateful for it. I don't want to lie to Eva, or even hide the fact Jack and I are together.  
  
I let out a soft breath. Are we really together? Or am I seeing what I want to? I finish up and head into the bedroom to get changed.  
  
"Goodnight," Eva tells me, as I slip into my bedroom. I change into a fresh pair of pajamas and answer my vibrating phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, you're still awake."  
  
"Yeah, I told you I'd be. I'm getting ready for bed now though."  
  
"I'm about twenty minutes out."  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"In the car."  
  
I let out a sigh, "That's not what I meant."  
  
"I'll explain later, I promise. Can I stop by?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm going to head into bed. Join me when you come in."  
  
"How am I going to get into your apartment?"  
  
"Pick the lock," I answer with a laugh.  
  
"Sam, it can wait until tomorrow. I can get a hotel room for the night."  
  
"Please don't," I whisper with a yawn, slipping between the sheets. "I want you to tuck me in," I tell him, shutting off the light.  
  
"All right. I'll see you in a little while."  
  
"Eva should be up to answer the door. Bye." I hang up the phone and close my eyes, falling into a deep sleep.  
  
I hear the door creak and a warm breath against my lips. "Jack?" I moan, feeling his hands in my hair as I lean into his touch.  
  
"Shhh, go back to sleep."  
  
"Where were you?" I roll around, giving him room to lie down beside me.  
  
"I had to see the girls." I feel the bed dip down as he sits on the edge, tugging off his shoes and most of his clothes before lying down beside me.  
  
"It couldn't wait till morning?" My eyes open to meet his, in the darkness. "Weren't they asleep?"  
  
"I had to tuck them in too."  
  
"And Maria didn't care?" He's quiet as I roll onto my side to lean against his body. "Jack?"  
  
"She wasn't happy about it. She also didn't like that I went away this weekend. I had some explaining to do."  
  
"Let me guess, you're not getting divorced?" I whisper into the night air.  
  
"No," he shakes his head as I feel my stomach plummet. He slips between the sheets and embraces my warm skin. "We are," he reaffirms, "I just wanted to tuck the girls into bed, one last time."  
  
"You'll still see them." I press a kiss to his lips gently.  
  
"I know, but not in that house."  
  
"We'll have our own house for you to tuck them in." I bite down on my lips, feeling as though I've said too much. "I'm sorry," I shake my head with a laugh, "I meant--"  
  
Jack cuts me off with another kiss as his hands roam down my sides. "It's okay." He answers, rolling me onto my back.  
  
"Jack," I breathe, "as much as I want this again," my eyes look deep into his, "it's late, I'm tired, and we have to get up early," I remind him.  
  
"Yeah, you're right." He shifts on the bed as I roll into his warm body, his arms holding me close. "Goodnight, Sam."  
  
"Night," I answer, feeling completely comfortable and at ease in his embrace. 


	44. Chapter 44

"Jack," I breathe, "as much as I want this again," my eyes look deep into his, "it's late, I'm tired, and we have to get up early," I remind him.  
  
"Yeah, you're right." He shifts on the bed as I roll into his warm body, his arms holding me close. "Goodnight, Sam."  
  
"Night," I answer, feeling completely comfortable and at ease in his embrace.  
  
********  
  
As morning comes, I feel Jack's lips on my neck and roll closer into his body for comfort. "We should be getting up soon," he tells me, as his mouth moves lower and to my shoulder, kissing the exposed skin. He slowly pulls down the spaghetti straps and his hands move over my stomach, lifting the hem of my shirt. A small puff of air escapes my lips.  
  
"I'm awake," I groan. My eyes finally open with a smile as I feel his breath moving down my stomach. "Jack," my eyes meet his as his fingers tease the waistband of my pajama bottoms. "We have to get to work in a little while."  
  
"Yeah," he leans towards me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek as he slips from the bed.  
  
"Now why'd you go and do that?" I eye him with a sigh as I realize how frustrated and hot I've become.  
  
"Like you said, we have to get ready for work."  
  
"Jack," I groan out with wide eyes.  
  
"Shhh, Eva might hear you."  
  
"Too late," I hear her voice from the other side of the wall and can't hide my blushing.  
  
"Come on," he takes my hand and escorts me into the shower so we can both be clean, refreshed, and ready for work on time.  
  
We slip into his car, sharing a ride into work.  
  
"Sam," his eyes meet mine, "you know I can't stay with you. I'll need to get an apartment."  
  
"I know," I nod my head and catch his gaze. "Protocol. Are you sure it's such a good idea we're going in together?"  
  
"I doubt anyone's paying attention, and even if they were," he shrugs as we pull out towards the office, "it's not like they can do much about sharing a ride into work. There's no rules against that." He eyes me with a smile as we step out and into the elevator.  
  
"I hope you're right," I answer.  
  
"You're going to tell Martin today, aren't you?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess so. I thought he had the workshop this week."  
  
"He does," Jack answers, as the elevator doors open and we head our separate ways. "Martin, can I see you in my office?"  
  
I head towards my desk as I notice Martin following Jack inside. I can only imagine Jack reminding Martin why he's been sent to the seminar. At least I hope that's all he's telling him.  
  
"How'd things go?" Vivian catches my attention as I turn from watching Jack's office to meet her eyes.  
  
"Oh, this weekend? Good and bad. You know how family stuff is," I laugh softly.  
  
"I know it was none of my business, but I hope you're not upset that I called Jack up to bring your things."  
  
"No," I shake my head and realize all that happened wouldn't have otherwise. "Thanks, Viv."  
  
She nods her head with a tight-lipped smile, making me wonder if she knows what transpired.  
  
Danny makes his way over towards us. "How was your weekend away from home?" His lips form a smile as I shake my head.  
  
"Better if I hadn't have gone to see my mother. You remember her?"  
  
"Yeah, she came in for Christmas the first year you were on the team," Danny remarks. "She stopped by to see where you worked."  
  
"Right, good memory," I laugh as I eye Vivian. "What's on the agenda for today?"  
  
"Kent Collins never made it into work this morning," Viv tells us.  
  
Jack makes his way out of the office and I notice Martin heading for the elevator. He places a file on the table and eyes me along with the rest of the team.  
  
"Collins is an upstanding citizen."  
  
"No record?" I question.  
  
"His record is clean; he doesn't even have so much as an unpaid parking ticket. He's got two children and a wife and has been happily married for ten years. He's usually a stay-at-home father; however, he decided to go back to work a little over a month ago."  
  
"Money's tight?" Danny questions.  
  
"Could be. According to his wife and the financial statements, though, he wanted to get out of the house and go to work. He was working part-time for an insurance agency not two blocks from here."  
  
"Anything else?" I glance up towards Jack.  
  
"He's been missing for three hours."  
  
"He starts work early," I muse, glancing at the clock. "An insurance agent getting to work by six?"  
  
"He does corporate management," Jack answers. "Apparently everyone's due in by seven. He comes a little early so he can leave early to pick up his kids."  
  
"I thought he worked part-time?"  
  
"He works Monday through Wednesday, full-time hours."  
  
"Oh," I nod with a soft breath. "He's been out of work for how long?"  
  
"Since his kids were born-seven years ago."  
  
"And he's in upper management already?"  
  
"He was on the fast track when he left. They promised him his job when and if he returned."  
  
"Why didn't the wife stay home?" Danny intervenes.  
  
"Apparently she's a doctor-and the breadwinner," Jack answers. "Danny, I want you and Samantha to visit his place of employment. See if anything looks suspicious. Vivian, you should talk to the school and the children; see if they can tell you anything. Also, I have the name of a caregiver that they've just hired. Check her references and speak to her. I'm going to interview Mrs. Collins."  
  
I follow Danny to the parking garage, letting him drive as I slip into the passenger seat. "You're going to break his heart," he muses, glancing my way before starting the car.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I eye him intently as he pulls out of the garage and heads for the road.  
  
"You know all he ever does is talk about you."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Martin."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" I let out a soft laugh.  
  
"I tried to tell him you were way out of his league."  
  
I can't hide the smile on my lips. "Yeah?"  
  
"He denied even having feelings for you, but it's written all over his expression. Whenever you step into the room, he lights up. So does Jack." Danny glances towards me as I bite down on my lips and smile. "Tell me you're not seeing him again?"  
  
"Again? You're joking-right?" I glance towards him, not giving in to his knowledge of the affair and turn up the radio, drowning out any more questions.  
  
We head towards the insurance company Kent Collins manages and make our way to the fourth floor to speak with his boss and a few of his co-workers.  
  
Two hours and four interviews later, we make our way back to the office to meet up with everyone.  
  
"Any news?" Jack eyes us as we step off the elevator.  
  
"Nothing," I let out a sigh.  
  
"This guy is the ideal employee."  
  
"And husband," Jack comments with a sigh.  
  
"Not to mention father," Vivian adds turning from her desk and heading towards the conference table where we all sit. "He volunteers for all the school functions and is involved in the community. There's nothing to explain why he disappeared."  
  
"We have to dig deeper," Jack stresses. "Vivian, go through his records again. Check all receipts, phone records, appointments he made, anything that could give us a clue to where he might have gone or what trouble he might have gotten himself into."  
  
"It's been a little over five hours," I eye my watch. "Has there been a ransom demand that we haven't heard about?"  
  
"The family has money but they're not overly wealthy. Vivian, double-check bank accounts, look for anything that might explain why he disappeared. Danny, call the local PD and look into any accident reports."  
  
"There were two accidents, but none of the victims matched his description," he answers. "I checked that this morning before we left. No John Doe's at the morgue either."  
  
"We're missing something," I state, shaking my head at what it could be. "We could interview the neighbors."  
  
"It's been done; while I was over there, I handled it," Jack answers.  
  
"How about other family members?" I suggest, glancing down at the file.  
  
"He was a single child and both his parents passed away within the past three years."  
  
"Cousins?" Danny speaks up.  
  
"Yeah, in D.C. Samantha, why don't you go back to his house? See if you can find anything that might have been looked over. Danny, you head to D.C. and look into his cousin's whereabouts. Maybe he knows something. Vivian, you should stick around here. Sometime within the hour, a press conference is being held. I need you to handle any phone calls that come in."  
  
"Um, Jack." His eyes glance towards me as everyone else leaves the conference table. "My car is at home," I remind him. "I can take a cab, but it'll be charged on the expense report and I don't want--"  
  
"Van Doren to question it?" Jack finishes the sentence for me. "Here," he digs into his pocket and gives me his keys. "You're taking me to lunch, though."  
  
"Don't I always?" I tease with a smile. "You coming with me to the Collins home?"  
  
"I've got to pay Van Doren a visit this afternoon."  
  
"Fun," I quip with a grin as he follows me down to his car. "What time do you have to meet with her?"  
  
"She's in a meeting till 2."  
  
"We'll be done by then," I point out, unlocking the car door and stepping inside. Jack takes a seat beside me, letting out a soft breath.  
  
"We should distance ourselves, Sam."  
  
My eyes reach his and I nod swiftly. "Right." I feel my inner defenses building as I pull out of the parking space.  
  
"Sam," his voice is gentle as he tries to reason with me. "I just don't want any suspicions. We can't afford it."  
  
"I know," I answer with a sigh of defeat. "I guess I was just hoping things could be different between us."  
  
"They are," he reaffirms, squeezing my hand as we pull into a small, cozy restaurant.  
  
We head inside and take a seat as the waitress brings the menus over for us to look at. In record time, we've both ordered and I glance out the window, seeing a light snow dusting the ground.  
  
"How far is the Collins home?" I question, knowing Jack was already there once this morning.  
  
"Twenty miles out." His head turns as he sees the snow that's fallen. "You want me to come with you?"  
  
"I can drive in the snow," I laugh, shaking my head in amusement. "What, you don't trust me with your car?" I tease.  
  
"No, you I trust. It's everyone else that concerns me."  
  
I shake my head and smile as the waitress brings our lunch. Twenty minutes later, we head out into the cold and to the car. I start the car and step outside to dust off the snow that's iced to the windows.  
  
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice, as he slips on a pair of gloves and helps brush the snow from the car. "Get inside, you're going to get sick."  
  
"And you're not?" I eye him with a laugh, as I dust the car and take a handful of snow and toss it at Jack. It hits his jacket.  
  
"You didn't!" His eyes are wide in astonishment.  
  
"Never," I laugh, quickly opening the car door and lunging inside to keep from getting hit with any snow.  
  
"Be glad this is my car and not yours." He eyes me as I buckle myself in and pull out of the parking lot.  
  
"Why's that?" My eyes glance in his direction before making our way onto the road.  
  
"I didn't want to cover the interior of my car with snow."  
  
"Then I guess it's a good thing I left mine at home," I answer with a grin. I pull into the parking garage, keeping Jack dry from the snow falling outside. "I'll see you this afternoon," I remind him as he slips out of the car.  
  
"Be careful," he warns me before shutting the door, and I head out of the garage towards the Collins' residence. 


	45. Chapter 45

"Then I guess it's a good thing I left mine at home," I answer with a grin. I pull into the parking garage, keeping Jack dry from the snow falling outside. "I'll see you this afternoon," I remind him as he slips out of the car.  
  
"Be careful," he warns me before shutting the door, and I head out of the garage towards the Collins' residence.  
  
******  
  
The drive over isn't too horrendous just yet. The roads are lightly dusted in snow but traffic seems to be moving fairly well, given the circumstances.  
  
I make my way to the Collins' front door and moments later Margaret Collins answers it. "Mrs. Collins, I'm Agent Spade with the FBI." I show her my badge as she opens the door to me.  
  
"Have you heard anything?"  
  
"Not yet," I answer. "We're looking into it. Would you mind if I take a look around your place?"  
  
"Go right ahead. I don't know what you're hoping to find."  
  
"Thank you." I glance around at the photos in the living room, recognizing Kent's face as the missing person. "When was this taken?" I eye Margaret, pointing to the photo of Kent and his two children.  
  
"Last July. We went camping together at Shenandoah National Park. It's the most beautiful place," she reminisces as I hear footsteps pounding down the stairs.  
  
"Mom?" I hear a young boy's voice as he makes his way into the living room, glancing towards me and then his mother.  
  
"I'm busy right now, Billy. What is it?"  
  
"I found something," he states, chewing on his lower lip. Billy isn't much older than seven, and I realize he's holding something behind his back.  
  
"What'd you find?" My eyes meet his as he hands over the tiny silver hoop earring. "Is this yours?" I eye the mother as she shakes her head 'no' in disbelief. Her hand covers her mouth and she lets out a breath. "Where'd you find this?" I question, following the boy upstairs, as I slip the earring into a small plastic bag and place it in my coat pocket.  
  
"It was in here," he states, showing me into his parents' bathroom. "I know mom tells me not to come in here, but Taylor was in our bathroom." He glances towards his mom as she nods her head. Clearly this is all new information to her. "It was on the floor," he tells me.  
  
"Thank you, Billy."  
  
"Why don't you go back to your room," she tells him as she eyes me with confusion. "I had no idea--" her voice trails off. "Could he have run off with some other woman?" She shakes her head no. "He wouldn't do that."  
  
"Is there anyone you can think of whom this might belong to?"  
  
"No," she shakes her head. "Our marriage has been perfect. There's no reason I can think that he'd even be with another woman." Is she in denial? I let that thought linger in my mind as I eye the cabinets, searching for any other clues.  
  
"Perfect?" My eyes meet hers as we leave the bathroom and I glance around the bedroom.  
  
"You're not going to find anything. He doesn't have time for an affair. His hours aren't exceptionally late and he's rarely, if ever, out of town. He loves me," she whispers, reminding herself of those words.  
  
"I'm sure he does," I answer with a polite smile, heading down the stairs. "Is there anyone you can think of who might help or know where your husband is?"  
  
"I would have tried that already," she eyes me. "I know Kent. He didn't run off with another woman." Her voice is insistent and I nod, letting out a soft breath. I glance around the bedroom, noticing a date book.  
  
"Is this yours?"  
  
"No, it's Kent's. He always takes that with him to work. He must have forgotten it this morning," she shrugs, as I finger through the dates. There isn't anything that stands out, but I take it with me anyhow.  
  
"We'll be in touch," I tell her, heading out the front door and dropping the notebook into the car. I glance around at the neighbor's house, figuring I'll give it another shot.  
  
"I'm Agent Spade," I greet the young woman as she smiles back at me.  
  
"Becky," she introduces herself. "One of your colleagues came by earlier. I told him all I knew." She opens the door, letting me inside from the cold.  
  
"I have a few more questions," I tell her. "It should only be a couple of minutes."  
  
"Take a seat," she offers, showing me to her sofa. "We've known the Collins since we've moved in."  
  
"You're pretty close with the family, I take it?"  
  
"Yes, our daughters are best friends."  
  
"Maybe you could help me out." I pull out the small plastic bag, containing a single earring. "Do you recognize this?"  
  
Becky retrieves the bag from my hold and eyes it intently. "It looks like one of Ally's." Becky stands up, heading for the stairs. "Ally!" She calls her daughter down, and moments later I hear footsteps.  
  
"What, Mom?"  
  
"Is this the other earring you lost?" She hands Ally the bag as she eyes it. "Yeah, where'd you find it?"  
  
"In the Collins' master bathroom. Can you tell me what you were doing in there?"  
  
"I was hanging out with Taylor. We were rollerblading outside and I sprained my wrist," she eyes her mother. "Mr. Collins had some medical supplies in his bathroom, so I went in with Taylor while he fixed up my wrist. You can ask her," Ally tells me.  
  
"I need to hold on to that for a little while." I open my hand to receive the tiny bag with the earring inside. "Ally, did you ever see anyone that didn't belong? Maybe someone who was watching the house, an old girlfriend- -" I suggest.  
  
"Just Mr. Collins' sister, Alyssa. She was over last Tuesday."  
  
"Thank you, Ally." I head towards the door. "I appreciate your help," I tell both of them before walking outside. The snow has picked up and there are a few inches lying on the ground. I wrap my arms around my body, quickly walking back towards the Collins home.  
  
"Agent Spade?" she eyes me reluctantly. "I've told you all that I know."  
  
"I appreciate your help," I remind her with a tight-lipped smile. "Ally mentioned Kent has a sister, Alyssa?"  
  
"No. Do you think this is whom he was having the affair with?" Her mouth widens in shock.  
  
"We're not sure," I answer. I head out to the car, start it up, and brush the snow off. I shiver from the cold, wishing summer would be here all ready.  
  
I slip into the car and dial Jack's number before heading out into traffic.  
  
"Malone," he answers. "I've got a first name for you to look into-Alyssa."  
  
"That really narrows it down," he mocks.  
  
"The neighbor's daughter remembers an Alyssa hanging around; she claimed to be his sister."  
  
"Kent Collins doesn't have any siblings," Jack points out. "Where are you?"  
  
"I just got into the car. I'm heading back to the office as soon as I hang up. It's snowing pretty bad."  
  
"No kidding. I'll have Vivian look into it. Make your way back here, but be careful. The roads aren't looking too good."  
  
"I noticed," I answer and hang up. I let out a breath, still curious why Van Doren called Jack into a meeting. I figure he'll tell me later, hopefully. 


	46. Chapter 46

"I just got into the car. I'm heading back to the office as soon as I hang up. It's snowing pretty bad."  
  
"No kidding. I'll have Vivian look into it. Make your way back here, but be careful. The roads aren't looking too good."  
  
"I noticed," I answer and hang up. I let out a breath, still curious why Van Doren called Jack into a meeting. I figure he'll tell me later, hopefully.  
  
*****  
  
An hour and a half later, I make my way into the Bureau, carrying the date book with me.  
  
"What have you got there?" Vivian eyes me.  
  
"Might be nothing," I shrug, flipping through the scribbled notes. "It was Kent's. His wife mentioned he always took it to work. Must have forgotten it this morning," I answer.  
  
I head for the conference table, meeting Vivian beside it. We open the date planner, and I let out a sigh. "I don't even know what I'm looking for."  
  
"Can you match any of it to his job?"  
  
I flip through the small bound notebook, glancing through the information I've jotted down. "Nothing stands out." I chew on my bottom lip, concentrating as I flip from page to page.  
  
"Sam?" I glance up, noticing Jack leaning on the desk. "When did you get back?"  
  
I eye my watch, "Twenty minutes or so," I shrug. "I got this from the Collins home. I can't find anything that would explain his disappearance."  
  
"How about Alyssa?"  
  
"Nothing," I answer, shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
"We need to find out who Alyssa is, and her connection to Kent. For all we know, she could be the reason he's disappeared."  
  
"We don't have a last name," I remind him.  
  
"Becky, Ally's mother, called in while you were out. I asked her a few more questions because she remembered that she saw her taking pictures of the property. The description she gave was vague, so we don't have much to go on."  
  
"Pictures? A realtor perhaps?" I suggest.  
  
"Or a stalker," Vivian adds.  
  
"We know he was seen talking with Alyssa, but we don't know the details. For all we know, this could be an affair and he ran off."  
  
"She claims to be happily married," I eye Jack.  
  
"Yes, I know. I spoke with her. I also think she's a bit--" he pauses, eyeing me intently, trying to sum up his thoughts.  
  
"She's in denial," I answer. He nods his head. "I've considered that. I also thought it was an affair." I show Jack the earring I recovered. "Ally claimed this was hers and she lost it when she sprained her wrist rollerblading. Apparently Kent helped bandage her wrist in the bathroom and it fell off in there."  
  
Jack's cell phone rings and he reaches into his pocket, "Malone?" he answers. Vivian and I exchange glances as I feel Jack's gaze on me. "Nothing?" He lets out a breath. "It's snowing pretty bad up here. You might as well stay the night." He hangs up the phone.  
  
"Danny?"  
  
Jack nods his head. "The cousin saw him for Thanksgiving, but that was the last time they had contact. He claims Kent is happily married and if anyone took him, it had to be for ransom."  
  
"They make a decent income, but they're pretty far in debt," Vivian tells us. "I did double-check some bank receipts and the bills were paid on time, but I still feel like we're missing something."  
  
"You checked purchase receipts?"  
  
"Yeah," Vivian laughs, "you name it, they have it."  
  
I eye Jack, "You know their house was nice, but it wasn't that spectacular."  
  
"Doesn't mean they're not in debt," he muses.  
  
"What if this guy has another house? Maybe it would explain some of these receipts." I shift the papers around on the desk, pulling out the expensive electronics I saw listed earlier. "I was inside their home, and I certainly didn't see a plasma HDTV." I go through a few more. "These had to be delivered," I point out. "What was the address?"  
  
Vivian glances through a folder of contents. "2314 Dakota Street."  
  
"That's interesting," I muse. "How far is that from where we are?"  
  
"Sam," Jack eyes me, "they're calling for a foot of snow. If this guy ran off to some other home of his, it's not our investigation."  
  
"He has a point there," Vivian nods. "If we wait too much later, we might never get home."  
  
"I'll look into it," I offer.  
  
"Vivian, you can head on home."  
  
"You sure?" she eyes Jack.  
  
"Yeah. Hopefully, the snow will be cleaned up tomorrow for us to get in."  
  
"If it's not, we could be losing this guy for good."  
  
"I can drive up there," I reiterate.  
  
"With what? Your car's at home." His eyes bore into mine as Vivian stands up, excuses herself from the conference table and packs her things.  
  
"Jack, if we find this guy, at least we'll have some closure to this case. You know we need it solved, and it's not going to happen if we're snowed in tomorrow."  
  
"Samantha, by the time we actually get there, we'll likely be snowed in and sleeping in the car."  
  
"You don't think there are hotels around?"  
  
"I'm not against looking for this guy," he addresses me, "I just think it's a wasted trip. Why don't we search up this guy's phone number? Give him a call and see if that solves the problem?"  
  
"It's a cabin it the woods," I point out. "Since there aren't any bills, I'm assuming it's pretty basic-no electricity or running water."  
  
"Or someone else is paying those. Besides, it's the middle of winter."  
  
"It's a cabin, Jack. There's probably a wood-burning stove or some other source of heat."  
  
"And you're positive it's a cabin?"  
  
"Yes," I nod with a laugh. "I've been to Dakota Street. It's a drive from where we are, but there are plenty of places to stay overnight, on the main path."  
  
"I hope you brought some warm clothes." He stands up, closes the files and takes them with him into his office, then slips on his coat. Once we're ready, we head down to the parking garage and to his car.  
  
"Why'd Van Doren want to speak with you?" I eye him as we take a seat, out of view from the security cameras.  
  
"She wanted an explanation for sending Martin on the seminar. I couldn't exactly tell her he lied about the Reyes incident," Jack pauses, "so I had some explaining and what not to do."  
  
"What'd you tell her?"  
  
"He was having trouble with the team, and I felt his performance would be better with some additional training." Jack's eyes glance towards me. "She knew there was more but didn't push it."  
  
"So it didn't go too bad?"  
  
"Well it depends," he shrugs.  
  
"On what?"  
  
"For me, it was fine. For you," he pauses, eyeing me as we carefully pull out onto the snow-covered streets.  
  
"What, Jack?"  
  
"She wants you to take a seminar in the spring."  
  
"Jack," I groan.  
  
"I tried explaining to her that you're more of an asset in the field than in a classroom. She told me to stop fucking around and to keep my agents in line."  
  
"She knows about us?"  
  
"She always has," Jack answers and glances my way.  
  
Traffic seems to slow down and even with the heavy snowfall, we continue onward. Jack turns off the radio, carefully concentrating on the road, while I stare out into the white-blanket of the world.  
  
"Which way do I go?"  
  
"Make a right up here," I answer him. We carefully drive down the snow- covered path, turning the windshield wipers on high. I scan the addresses of cabins as we head down the road. "It should be on the left," I point out.  
  
Jack turns into the correct address, his eyes meeting mine as we observe the lights on in the cabin.  
  
"Someone's home," he comments, turning the car off and opening his car door. I step through the snow, feeling my body grow numb from the cold.  
  
We ring the doorbell and hear footsteps before the door is pulled back.  
  
"We're with the FBI--Agents Malone and Spade. Are you Alyssa?"  
  
"Yes," she nods, opening the door wider, "Alyssa Valentino. Come inside," she tells us. I see a fire blazing in the fireplace and glance around at the luxurious cabin.  
  
"We're looking into Kent Collins' disappearance," I tell her.  
  
"How long has he been missing?" She takes a seat on the sofa, and we sit on a smaller couch across from her.  
  
"Sixteen hours," Jack answers. "How do you know Kent?"  
  
"We went to college together," she answers softly. "We keep in touch."  
  
"Apparently, given the fact he bought you that beautiful television," I point out.  
  
Her eyes glance from mine to Jack's.  
  
"I don't know what to say."  
  
"Where were you this morning around 6 a.m.?" My eyes meet hers.  
  
"Sleeping."  
  
"Is there anyone that can verify that?"  
  
"No," she laughs and shakes her head. "I haven't seen Kent in over a week."  
  
"He planning on leaving his family for you?"  
  
"I doubt it." Her eyes look tired as she lets out a sigh.  
  
"So he just makes expensive purchases and sends them your way? Or are we to take it you stole his credit card?"  
  
"I didn't steal anything. He invested in this house," she nods and lets out a breath. "That's not a crime, is it?"  
  
"You were having an affair with him?" Jack questions.  
  
"It ended long ago."  
  
"Why's that?" I inquire.  
  
"He's got kids and a wife he cares deeply for," she answers. I feel Jack's eyes on me.  
  
"So he bought you all these nice things out of guilt?"  
  
"Something like that," she answers standing up slowly. "I've got a daughter, Chelsea."  
  
"She's Kent's daughter?"  
  
Alyssa nods gently. "Yes."  
  
"Did he ever tell his wife?"  
  
"No. She wouldn't believe him, even if he did."  
  
"Why's that?" I question.  
  
"I have no idea. Kent used to tell me that all the time. I gave up trying to pressure him to leave his wife. He loved her and I told him to do what made him happy and what he felt was right."  
  
"And that was being with her?" Jack muses.  
  
"I guess so. Then again, he did leave her--or disappear--whatever you want to call it."  
  
"You think he ran away?" My eyes meet hers.  
  
"No. He's not that type of person. He wouldn't leave his family. I can't say what happened to him. I just hope you'll find him and everything will be all right."  
  
"If you hear from him or anything comes up," I hand her my card as we make our way outside and into the snow.  
  
Jack starts the car, allowing it to warm up while I brush the newly laid snow from the windshield. Jack steps out from the car and helps me out so we can hurry on home.  
  
We make our way down the snow-covered trail, carefully navigating along the road. "Jack," I glance towards him, as he concentrates furiously on the road. "Maybe we should stop for the night."  
  
"I agree. I just haven't seen a place to do that."  
  
"How can you see anything?" I point out, as the snow continues to fall at a steady rate. "Make a right at the next intersection."  
  
"You know where we are?"  
  
"I have an idea," I answer, pulling out my cell phone and dialing Kellar. "It's Samantha," I tell him.  
  
"Hey, you finally called." I can hear the smile on his face and bite down on my lower lip.  
  
"I have a favor to ask of you."  
  
"You know I'd do anything."  
  
I can't help but laugh softly. "Yeah. I'm on a case with Jack and you've seen the weather," I comment. "I was wondering if we could use your cabin for the night."  
  
"You're all the way up there?"  
  
"Yeah," I let out a sigh. "There's not a hotel for miles and the roads are awful."  
  
"If I do this for you, I want a date when you get home."  
  
"I'll see if I can set you up with someone," I answer teasingly.  
  
"No way. I want you, Samantha."  
  
"I don't know that it's such a good idea," I answer, glancing towards Jack.  
  
"Oh come on. We won't even call it a date. We'll just go out for drinks," he tells me. "For old time's sake?"  
  
"Is the key where you left it?" I answer.  
  
"Yeah," he laughs. "Use all the firewood you need; just do me a favor and lock up when you're done."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I expect a call when you get home."  
  
"Don't wait by the phone," I tease and hang up. I feel Jack's eyes on me.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"You don't want to know," I answer. "I got us a cabin for the night, though. It won't be as upscale as the last place, but it's definitely shelter." 


	47. Chapter 47

"Don't wait by the phone," I tease and hang up. I feel Jack's eyes on me.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"You don't want to know," I answer. "I got us a cabin for the night, though. It won't be as upscale as the last place, but it's definitely shelter."  
  
********  
  
Jack follows my directions and soon we pull into a cabin on the far end of the lake. We step through the snow and onto the porch; I run my hand under a loose board on the cabin and finger out a key.  
  
"I take it you've stayed here before?" Jack's eyes glance over at me as we head inside.  
  
"Once or twice," I nod, stepping through the door. "There's no electricity or running water."  
  
"Firewood?"  
  
"Around back," I answer, pulling my coat tight against my body. "There's blankets in here." I open the closet door and pull out a lantern and some matches, along with supplies to keep us warm.  
  
I hear Jack's footsteps as he carries in wood, and I start the fire in the wood-burning stove. The cabin is one room with two sets of bunk beds and a wooden table set between them.  
  
Once the fire's on, I slip out of my jacket and wrap the blanket around my shoulders to keep warm. Jack sits beside me, his hands ice cold.  
  
"There's sleeping bags for us," I tell him.  
  
"Should I be afraid whose bag I'm going in?" his eyes meet mine.  
  
"No," I laugh softly. "Be grateful we have a place to stay the night," I point out. "We're in a secluded part of town."  
  
"With no food," Jack eyes me intently.  
  
"Check the cabinets," I eye him seriously. "Eric usually kept canned goods and non-perishables--"  
  
"Eric Kellar?" Jack's eyes are wide.  
  
"Don't look so surprised," I laugh, shaking my head. "Sit down." I pull him onto the bed beside me. "You're freezing," I point out, offering him some of the blanket I'm using.  
  
"I'm guessing it'll take a while to warm up."  
  
"Yeah," I nod. "I'm not sure I can stay up much longer. I put a bunch of wood in there."  
  
Jack stands up and removes his suit, tie, and shoes. He grabs a sleeping bag and brings it towards the bottom bunk. "Here," he tells me, getting one for himself and heading for the other side of the cabin.  
  
"Jack," I shake my head. "Get back over here. We can zip the sleeping bags together," I suggest. "We should sleep together; it'll keep us warm."  
  
"I bet," he answers, as I take the bags and make one large one out of them. I lay it down on the bed, remove my jacket and slacks, and slide off my shoes before slipping inside. I shiver from the cold contact and seconds later feel Jack moving in to lie beside me. "You feel good."  
  
I laugh softly. "I don't feel very warm," I answer, sliding my hands along his bare chest and feeling our body heat warm us up slowly.  
  
I roll onto my side, facing Jack, as I feel his leg slip between mine. His hands move to my lower back, holding me close against his body.  
  
"Any warmer now?" he whispers into my ear, brushing his mouth against my lobe and then my neck.  
  
"Mmm, a little," I answer with a growing smile on my lips. I roll onto my back, feeling his body rest slightly above mine.  
  
"You haven't told Martin about us yet, have you?"  
  
"No," I laugh softly, "I haven't had time."  
  
"Did you two ever--"  
  
"Jack," my eyes are wide.  
  
"I'm just curious."  
  
"I've already told you."  
  
"When?"  
  
"The night we were on a case and you stayed in my hotel room with Martin next door." His eyes watch mine as he goes over our conversation in his head.  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"You don't want to remember," I answer. "Besides, what does it matter?"  
  
"I want to know if you enjoyed it," his voice is low and his breath is on my lips.  
  
"It was sex," I respond with a laugh. "Why are you so curious--" my voice trails off. "You're jealous!" I gasp out as his eyes stare into mine.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Then why do you want to know so badly?"  
  
"I just don't know what you see in him."  
  
"Jack," I shake my head with a laugh, "you don't get it."  
  
"Get what?"  
  
"I was with him because I couldn't be with you. I still loved you, even then."  
  
"So you had sex with him for me? Sam, you're crazier than I thought."  
  
"You do that to me," I answer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, as we roll around and I rest my head on his chest. I hear his heart beating strongly as my hand lies across his abdomen.  
  
"What about Kellar?"  
  
"Why are you so interested in my sex life tonight?"  
  
"I want to know everything about you." His hand runs through my hair.  
  
"There are some things you don't need to know."  
  
"Why don't you want me to know them?"  
  
I lift my head to meet his eyes. "Jack, you really want to hear about me having sex with other guys?"  
  
"Not really," he laughs softly. "I just want to know what you saw in them."  
  
"An escape from the loneliness," I answer, resting my head back down to his chest and closing my eyes.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Hmmm," I breathe out, feeling myself growing tired.  
  
"Is that what you're doing now?"  
  
"Of course not," I whisper, feeling myself drifting to sleep in Jack's embrace. 


	48. Chapter 48

"Sam," I hear Jack's soft voice and feel his hand on my shoulder. My eyes open, seeing him leaning onto the bed to awaken me. "We should start heading out soon."  
  
"Right," I nod with a yawn and sit up in bed. "How's it look outside?"  
  
"The snow's stopped but it's pretty messy out. We still have a missing person to look into."  
  
"Okay," I yawn, slipping out of the sleeping bag and pulling on my clothes and shoes. Jack works on putting everything away while I manage to slip outside to use the bathroom.  
  
When I'm finished, I head back into the cabin. "Ready?" Jack eyes me.  
  
"Yeah, did you find anything to eat?"  
  
"Nothing that looked edible." He slips his coat on and follows me out to the car. "We'll stop on the way for breakfast. Let me know if you see someplace that looks good."  
  
"Do you want me to drive?" I offer.  
  
"I'll give you a break for a little while," he smiles, slipping into the car while I take a seat in the passenger side.  
  
"All right," I answer.  
  
We head down the road, and I glance at the clock, seeing it's only quarter after seven. I notice my cell phone has a voice message-from Martin.  
  
I dial in for the message, "Hey, Samantha, I wanted to see if you already went home. The snow's pretty bad and, well, I'll talk to you later." I glance over towards Jack as I hang up the cell phone.  
  
"Martin," I state, sliding the phone into my pocket.  
  
"You can probably reach him. The seminar doesn't start till eight." Jack glances my way and then concentrates on the road. "You're going to tell him about us, right?"  
  
"Yeah," I nod. "I can't do it over the phone, though."  
  
"How about tonight?" Jack questions.  
  
"Maybe. I want to get this case out of the way first."  
  
"There will always be a new case, Samantha. I'll tell him if you want."  
  
"No," I shake my head. "I need to do it."  
  
"All right."  
  
We stop at a diner, grab a quick breakfast, and then head back on the road. I offer to drive and Jack hands over the keys. He glances through the date book we retrieved from the Collins home, hoping to recognize a pattern or something slightly off-key.  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Last February this guy served jury duty."  
  
"Yeah, and--?"  
  
"I don't know, but I think it's worth looking into."  
  
"All right," I answer, glancing over as I hear him making a few phone calls, trying to dig up information.  
  
Over an hour later, he finally hangs up and glances my way. "We definitely have a new lead on the investigation."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Kent Collins served on the jury of a murder trial, back in February. Do you remember the Madison case?"  
  
"No."  
  
"There was a series of females abducted and sexually assaulted before they were killed. Sanford Madison was on trial for four murders in August, but got off on a technicality-he wasn't read his rights."  
  
"Why go after Collins if Madison wasn't convicted?"  
  
"Oh, he was, but it was for a different trial in February. Apparently Madison got away with the murder of those four women because of the officer. He wasn't so lucky after he murdered his wife."  
  
"Ouch," I cringe at the thought. "So Collins served for the second trial- on the wife's murder?"  
  
"Yes, and that's not all. He served a few months in prison and made a deal to rat someone out, giving him a lighter sentence."  
  
"So he's still in prison?" I question.  
  
"Here's the clincher. Less than a month ago, he was released on parole."  
  
"Even though he murdered his wife?"  
  
"His attorney was able to appeal the charges and technically he's a free man."  
  
"You're leaving something out."  
  
"Yes," Jack nods with a sigh. "A week after he was reinstated into society, a blonde female disappeared; he has a liking for blondes."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
"Two weeks following a seemingly empty investigation, another woman disappeared from a bar across town. The NYPD have men on this guy at all hours, but they haven't been able to get anything on him. They were about to stop tailing him when I called."  
  
"Did they see Kent Collins?"  
  
"No, but this guy has a garage. Maybe he hauled Collins in the trunk and then took him out in the garage. It's not enough for a warrant, but we've got two officers going down to investigate for us."  
  
"I'm assuming they've already questioned him on the missing women?"  
  
"Of course," Jack answers, eyeing me. "He has a solid alibi, but they're confident he's the killer."  
  
"Why take or kill Collins? Why not another jury member, and how did he obtain his information?"  
  
"Once he was released, he was given a job at an insurance company-the same company Mr. Collins works for."  
  
"Interesting," I muse.  
  
"They work in different buildings and have different social circles, but it's not to say he couldn't have easily obtained a name and address for our missing person."  
  
"If we can't get a warrant and he won't talk, what good are we to Collins?" I blow out a breath of air, slightly irritated.  
  
"There was one suggestion Van Doren mentioned on the phone."  
  
"You talked to her?" I eye him briskly. "What is it?"  
  
"She thinks you'd be the perfect person to go undercover. You'd meet him at the bar and he'd have to take you home. Anything you'd find while you're over there could be of use and might help our investigation."  
  
I nod my head, "Okay."  
  
"Sam, there will be officers outside and you'll be wired. You won't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."  
  
"It's for a good cause," I laugh, trying to ease my mind.  
  
"He's going to have to think you're interested in him," Jack reminds me.  
  
"I've done undercover work before-no sweat."  
  
"Sam," his eyes meet mine and, without words, I know what he's thinking and feeling. I nod swiftly and glance back towards the road as we approach the Bureau. 


	49. Chapter 49

"He's going to have to think you're interested in him," Jack reminds me.  
  
"I've done undercover work before---no sweat."  
  
"Sam," his eyes meet mine and, without words, I know what he's thinking and feeling. I nod swiftly and glance back towards the road as we approach the Bureau.  
  
*******  
  
We make our way inside, and I see Van Doren waving us into her office.  
  
"Jack, Samantha," she eyes us both. "I'm assuming he's caught you up to speed on the latest findings."  
  
"Yes," I nod with eager eyes.  
  
Van Doren hands me a file. "I want you to look this over. If you have any questions, let me know. We've got two agents and one officer at the bar waiting for our suspect to show up. When he does, it's time to make a move."  
  
I nod my head, accepting the file. "Jack, I'd like a word with you," she tells him as I leave her office and glance through the file while I head back to my cubicle.  
  
I take a seat, read through the report, and memorize his face. Sanford Madison reportedly killed his wife and the other women by strangulation.  
  
The blondes he picked up in bars were flirty and accepted his advances. They'd go home with him willingly and that's when the cases started to change.  
  
It appears that the first two victims were murdered after sexual intercourse.  
  
The third victim was murdered during sex. After that, it appears sexual assault was prevalent after the murder was committed.  
  
I read the two most recent reports on Carrie Forsythia and Melissa Bialy; both had sexual intercourse with Madison before they were murdered.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Vivian's voice and glance up to see her coming over. "I heard about the investigation. You up for the challenge?"  
  
"I will be," I answer soundly. "Just reading over the reports."  
  
"I heard Danny's on the scene already. He'll call you as soon as they see our suspect."  
  
I glance down at my wrinkled clothes. "If I'm supposed to convince this guy I'm attractive and interested--" I eye Vivian, "I should probably get a fresh change of clothes and a shower."  
  
"Make sure Jack knows you're leaving, in case they call in."  
  
"Will do," I nod, standing up and heading towards Jack's office to see him sitting inside and talking on the phone. He waves for me to come in, hangs up the phone, and eyes me.  
  
"Van Doren wanted to make sure you'd be up for the task, especially after the Radowski case."  
  
"Ahhh," I nod my head, "you told her?"  
  
"No, I get the impression someone around here did. Or else she's incredibly intuitive."  
  
"It takes more than intuition to know he was a Spade," I point out. "Anyways, I thought it might be wise if I headed to my place for a quick shower and change of clothes. I don't think I can bait someone looking like this." I run my hand through my hair.  
  
"I don't know." He smiles towards me and pulls out his keys. "Keep your cell phone on. We'll call as soon as we spot our suspect and then you'll head for the bar."  
  
"Are you going to be around?"  
  
"Danny will meet you outside the bar in a FedEx van. I'll be tailing your car on the way to Madison's place along with Vivian. We'll be outside if you need anything."  
  
"Okay," I nod briefly. "Anything else I should know?" I eye him intently.  
  
"Be careful," he answers. "We need you to get in his house and that can only happen if you lead him on. I'm just worried about what might transpire."  
  
"Don't be," I reassure him. "I can handle it."  
  
"I hope so," he whispers. "Danny will help you with the wire when you arrive. Go home, shower, and get changed."  
  
"I'll see you later. You sure I shouldn't just take a cab?"  
  
"Positive," he answers before I slip out of his office, taking his car with me back to the house.  
  
When I arrive home, I leave my cell phone on the bathroom counter while I shower. Once I'm finished, I wrap a large towel around my form and head into the closet to pull out a pair of black slacks and a white tank top along with a blue blouse.  
  
I blow-dry my hair and head towards my jewelry box, retrieving the double hearts Jack gave me a while ago. I finger the tiny charm before unhooking my necklace and sliding it on. I clasp it to my neck and slip it under my shirt, for only me to see.  
  
I hear my cell phone and quickly answer it: "Spade."  
  
"Sam, Danny called; they're ready whenever you are," Jack tells me.  
  
"I'm getting my shoes on and then I'll be over. What bar is it again?"  
  
"The Starlight Lounge. It's--" he reminds me.  
  
I interrupt him. "Yeah, I know where it is. I'll see you later."  
  
"Be careful, Sam." As I hang up the phone, I can imagine the line of worry etched onto his face. I grab Jack's keys and take his car, since Eva borrowed mine.  
  
I head to the car and make my way to the Starlight Lounge. Danny is outside and he ushers me into a van, helping me put a wire beneath my tank top. "If you need anything," Danny eyes me, "or are in any real danger, I'll need some sort of a sign."  
  
"You'll know," I tell him. "Keep an eye on Jack for me." I bite down on my lower lip. "I'm not sure how this case will affect him."  
  
"Will do," he nods. "Kellar's inside and so is Sanford Madison."  
  
"Just great," I laugh.  
  
"He's there to watch your back."  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"Do you have your gun?"  
  
"I have one secured to my ankle. Anything else might bring about suspicion," I point out.  
  
"And your badge?" I pull it from my pocket.  
  
"You should hold on to this until I'm done. If he sees it--"  
  
"You're right." He takes my badge and pockets it. "I'm going to stay out here. As soon as you leave with him, I'll be following you."  
  
"All right," I nod, giving him a brief smile as a soft breath escapes my lips.  
  
I head inside the bar, catching Kellar's gaze and then Madison's. I let out a nervous breath, trying to calm myself down as I glance back towards Sanford. I give him a smile before ordering a club soda from the bartender. 


	50. Chapter 50

I head inside the bar, catching Kellar's gaze and then Madison's. I let out a nervous breath, trying to calm myself down as I glance back towards Sanford. I give him a smile before ordering a club soda from the bartender.  
  
*******  
  
He makes his way over, drink in hand. "Sanford," he introduces himself, taking a seat beside me at the bar.  
  
"Jocelyn," I smile towards him. "What brings you here?" I question, my eyes meeting his light blue hues.  
  
"Looking for a good time."  
  
"Ahhh," I nod with a smile, "same here."  
  
"You come here often?" He glances me over. "I haven't seen you in here before."  
  
"A friend recommended the place; said they had phenomenal music."  
  
"You don't seem to be with your friend?" He glances around and then down at my left hand, noticing the absence of a wedding band.  
  
"No," I answer with a girlish laugh. "She's at work," I state. "What about you?"  
  
"I live around the corner from here and, like you said, the music's good," he repeats with a laugh. "You have the most gorgeous hair." His hand moves to my cheek, brushing my bangs from my eyes. My hair is clipped up, keeping the locks from obscuring all viewpoints.  
  
"Thanks," I smile, trying to adjust to the atmosphere and the assignment. I take a drink from my club soda, trying to keep my mouth from growing dry as words escape me. I realize what I must do and let out a breath, seeing Kellar's eyes on me. "You want to dance?" I stand up, gesturing for Sanford to follow me towards the dance floor.  
  
"I'm not very good on my feet."  
  
"I won't judge you," I answer with a grin, taking his hand in mine and pulling him onto the dance floor. I place his hands on my hips, showing him I want to be affectionate and to take the next step. I know I have to do this, to gain his trust and get back to his place. I try and quell my nerves with a reassuring smile, as I feel his lips on my ear.  
  
"You really are beautiful; I can't believe you're not seeing anyone."  
  
"I like to keep my options open," I answer, turning around and swaying to the music as I rub my body against his. His hands rest on my hips and move down to my thighs, holding me close against him. His lips are beside my ear, allowing me to hear him.  
  
"You're really something on your feet."  
  
"You should see me off of them," I tease, glancing back to catch his gaze before dancing around freely and feeling his hand wanting to reach out and touch me. The tips of his fingers brush against my sides and I pull myself in close against him. "This what you want?" I whisper, running my tongue along my lips to wet them. His eyes are transfixed on my mouth as his lips move down to graze mine.  
  
The music stops and I back off, not letting him kiss me. I take his hand, pulling him with me. "Jocelyn," he whispers, his breathing heavy and his blue eyes now a darker shade as my hand falls to my side.  
  
"You want to get out of here?" I suggest.  
  
"What'd you have in mind?" His eyes look deep into mine.  
  
"Your place," I answer, linking my fingers in his as he escorts me to his car.  
  
My gaze travels around the parking lot. "Did you bring a car?" he asks.  
  
"I took a cab," I respond, feeling Jack's gaze on me, but not seeing him outside. Sanford opens the door for me and I slip inside his car, buckling myself in as we take off for his home.  
  
"So you're from New York?" Sanford eyes me curiously.  
  
"Outside of the city," I answer. "What about you?"  
  
"I've lived here forever. I love the nightlife; it's what keeps me here."  
  
"I know what you mean," I nod with a laugh. He pulls into the garage and we head inside.  
  
"You want anything to eat, drink?" he offers.  
  
"No," I smile softly. He moves towards me, his hands going around my waist and down over my ass. I try not to look irritated and give him a smile.  
  
"You're the most beautiful woman I've met."  
  
"Guess you haven't been with that many," I answer, feeling his mouth move down close to mine. I try not to shy away, even though I desperately want to.  
  
"What's wrong?" His eyes meet mine as he nods his head. My stomach knots. Does he know who I am? "Come on," he takes my hand, ushering me to his bedroom. The lights are dimmed and his hand moves towards the clip in my hair, unclasping the plastic and allowing my blonde curls to fall down my shoulders. "You should wear your hair down more often," he whispers towards me, fingering the blonde locks.  
  
"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" I eye his bedroom and listen intently for any sounds or clues to Kent Collins.  
  
"Go right ahead," he tells me, gesturing towards the bathroom door. I slip inside, locking it behind me. I pace around, trying to get myself together. I need more time to search his place. I could potentially do the unthinkable and likely he'd be asleep afterwards. I shake my head 'no'. I can't and won't do that.  
  
He thinks I'm here for sex. If I don't find any evidence, I'm not sure what I'll do. I glance around in his cabinets, looking for anything that will connect him to any of the murders, disappearances, and kidnappings- recent or not.  
  
I unclasp the wire from my bra, leaving the device taped under the bathroom sink. "I have to take the wire off," I whisper loud enough for those listening to know I'm not in any real danger. "He hasn't confessed anything to me and he likely won't. I'm going to take a look around his house," I tell everyone before I flush the toilet and run the sink. I can only imagine their faces at the sounds from the device. 


	51. Chapter 51

I unclasp the wire from my bra, leaving the device taped under the bathroom sink. "I have to take the wire off," I whisper loud enough for those listening to know I'm not in any real danger. "He hasn't confessed anything to me and he likely won't. I'm going to take a look around his house," I tell everyone before I flush the toilet and run the sink. I can only imagine their faces at the sounds from the device.  
  
*******  
  
I open the bathroom door, seeing Sanford sitting on the bed.  
  
"I was wondering if you changed your mind?" His eyes meet mine.  
  
"No," I shake my head. "I want this," I tell him, walking towards him. My legs brush against his, as my eyes watch him. I gently push him onto the mattress, his back lying flat as I hover above his body. "Do you have any ties?" I question.  
  
"What'd you have in mind?" His eyes rise in amusement.  
  
"A little fun," I answer, blowing a stream of air against his lips as he breathes it in.  
  
"Try the top drawer." He nods towards the dresser. I slowly pull it open, seeing a few that will do the trick. I take the first one, covering his eyes and tying behind his head.  
  
I run my hand along his chest, trying to quell any thoughts he might be having. "Relax," I whisper into his ear, "you'll get your turn." I take another, tying it through the bedpost into a knot and then securing it tightly around his wrist. I make sure he's not capable of going anywhere; too bad he didn't have handcuffs.  
  
I move my hand over his stomach, teasing my fingers against his boxer shorts. "Jocelyn," his voice is a hoarse whisper as he shifts to touch me.  
  
I work on his other wrist and then both his legs, securing him to the bed.  
  
"You're not going anywhere," I remind him, moving my fingers up his chest and slowly lifting his shirt. "Do you have any whipped cream or chocolate syrup?"  
  
His breathing grows intense. "Yes," he moans out, "in the kitchen."  
  
"I'll be right back," I answer, running my hands down his chest and over his stomach before slipping out of the bedroom.  
  
I quietly scout the house. I look through his desk in the dining room and come up with hundreds of articles on the missing women. I let out a sigh, hoping to find something that will be substantial to help us break the case.  
  
I open the basement door, stepping downstairs and breathing in the foul smell. I turn on the light, not finding anyone being held and let out a frustrated breath. I head back on up to the main floor, digging around, looking for anything of relevance.  
  
"Jocelyn?" I hear him calling and I roll my eyes.  
  
"Just a second," I answer with a fake-smile, trying to seem excited about being there.  
  
I close my eyes, thinking of Jack and what he would do if he were in the house. Is there someplace he would look that I haven't? I check the kitchen cabinets, the fridge, and finally the spare bedroom. I step inside the closed door, seeing pictures lying across the bed of the missing women. The photos were all taken postmortem and weren't released to the public. I feel my heart pounding and my blood pumping as I turn around and walk into a male body.  
  
"Shit," I breathe out, eyeing Sanford as he backs me into the room.  
  
"What are you, some kind of cop? I know I've been followed for the past week," he muses. "It was only a matter of time until one of you came on to me."  
  
I shake my head. "You're mistaken," I respond, feeling the wall against my back. His eyes are cold and lifeless, as I watch the world in slow motion. His hands come towards me, ready to strangle me, and that's when I see a switchblade in his hands. I know what's coming next; I sense it.  
  
I duck down, managing to fall to the floor and reach for my gun from my ankle. "Freeze, FBI!" I warn him. "Make a move and I'll shoot you."  
  
"I'm in my own house. You can't shoot me," he laughs darkly.  
  
"Come any closer," I warn him, cocking the safety off and aiming the gun for his chest.  
  
His hand with the knife goes for me, slashing at my wrist, giving me no choice but to shoot him. The bullet grazes past his wrist, blood trickling down his skin while he screams out in agony. "You bitch!" He forcefully comes towards me, causing me to discharge my weapon again, this time hitting him in the chest.  
  
His body shakes and I glance up moments later to see Jack and Vivian with their guns drawn. I kneel on the floor beside the pool of blood and his body. "Where is he?" I question, pulling him towards me to look him in the eyes. My hands are bunched into fists, tightly gripping his shirt.  
  
He shakes his head 'no' and his eyes close, as his lifeless body grows pale. I feel Jack's hand on my shoulder as the paramedics come--and then the coroner, once it's determined that he's dead.  
  
Jack helps me to my feet, as I glance down at the gash on my hand. I move towards the bathroom, washing away the blood. I glance up in the mirror at my reflection to see Jack standing behind me.  
  
"Did you--" his voice trails off, not wanting to ask and likely not wanting to know if the two of us did anything sexual.  
  
"No," I answer softly. "I had to take the wire off, though. I couldn't chance him seeing or feeling it," I point out.  
  
"We still don't know where Kent Collins is," Jack reminds me.  
  
"Likely dead," I muse sadly, watching his eyes in the mirror.  
  
"We have enough to get him on two counts of manslaughter," Jack points out. "You did good."  
  
"No," I shake my head. "I didn't accomplish what I was here for."  
  
"You got this killer off the street."  
  
"And if Collins isn't dead yet, he likely will be now," I point out. "We don't know where he is, and now we may never know."  
  
I lean back into Jack's warm body, feeling his hands on my shoulders and a soft kiss on the top of my head. "We'll find him, Samantha. You know we will."  
  
"I think it's too late," I answer sadly, turning in his embrace and momentarily resting my head against his chest. I hear footsteps making their way towards the bathroom, and I step back from Jack's hold and see Danny eyeing us. I'm not sure how much he saw, but I already know he's not oblivious to what's going on between us.  
  
"They found a body."  
  
"Whose?" Jack questions, following Danny down into the basement. I trail along behind them, my heart beating frantically that this was all a wasted cause.  
  
"Looks to be your missing person, Kent Collins." I hear Kellar's voice and turn around to see him looming over the body. "We found him trapped under some floorboards down here. By the looks of it, he's been dead for awhile."  
  
I let out a soft breath, slightly frustrated that we couldn't have found this guy in time. We had the date book staring us in the face and didn't even realize the clues that were left behind.  
  
Jack makes his way upstairs, scouting out the rest of the house. Kellar approaches me, keeping his voice out of earshot. "That was one hell of a performance you gave on tape."  
  
"I bet," I laugh softly. "Thanks for letting us crash at your cabin."  
  
"Glad I could help," he answers. "You know we really owe you one. If it wasn't for your involvement, we likely would have had more deaths on our hands." His eyes glance into mine. "Can I take you out to dinner tonight?"  
  
"I don't think that's such a good idea."  
  
"How about tomorrow?" His smile warms my heart and I let out a soft breath.  
  
"I'm seeing someone right now," I answer.  
  
"I heard Martin was into you, but I never thought you'd go for it."  
  
"It's not him," I answer, biting down on my lower lip. "I should go. Thanks again for letting us use the cabin," I tell him with a smile, feeling his eyes on me as I head up the stairs.  
  
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice and turn around to see him pulling out a set of keys. "You ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah, we need to pick up your car from the bar," I remind him.  
  
"It's already been done," he answers, showing me a spare set of car keys. I follow him to the car and take a seat in the passenger's side. I shut my eyes, replaying the day's events over in my mind as I feel Jack's hand rest above mine. "You okay with me staying the night?"  
  
My eyes open and my head turns to glance at him. "I'd be hurt if you didn't." 


	52. Chapter 52

"Yeah, we need to pick up your car from the bar," I remind him.  
  
"It's already been done," he answers, showing me a spare set of car keys. I follow him to the car and take a seat in the passenger's side. I shut my eyes, replaying the day's events over in my mind as I feel Jack's hand rest above mine. "You okay with me staying the night?"  
  
My eyes open and my head turns to glance at him. "I'd be hurt if you didn't."  
  
********  
  
We head inside my apartment and Jack makes his way into the kitchen. "I'll work on dinner. What do you want?"  
  
"I'm not really that hungry." I let out a sigh and collapse onto the couch.  
  
"You should eat something."  
  
"We can order in," I suggest, and I hear the key turn in the door and see Eva making her way inside.  
  
"Hey, Samantha."  
  
"How was work?" I eye her with a tired smile.  
  
"Pretty good. I was surprised you both didn't come home last night. Did you stay over at Jack's place or something?"  
  
"No," I laugh, shaking my head. "We got caught out in the storm on a case."  
  
"Ahhh," she nods her head with a grin. "You staying the night?" she smiles curiously towards Jack.  
  
He glances my way, trying to decide what to tell her. "For tonight. He still doesn't have a place to stay," I answer.  
  
"How convenient," she murmurs.  
  
"Excuse me?" I glance towards her.  
  
"I said 'how lenient.'" She closes her mouth in a tight-lipped smile.  
  
Jack orders in for a pizza. Once we're finished eating, he follows me into the bedroom. I collapse against the bed, closing my eyes with exhaustion. My stomach lies flat against the mattress as I feel the bed shift around and Jack's body move to rest above mine. He straddles my form and I feel his hands on my shoulders, gently kneading my flesh.  
  
"Relax," he whispers into my ear. His fingers work on lifting my blouse off my body and unhooking my bra. He tosses the clothes to the floor, as I lie with my breasts against the cool sheets. He runs his hands along my shoulders, brushing my hair to the side as he leans down, showering my back with kisses.  
  
"Jack," I whisper out in a haze, feeling his fingers moving under me to unbutton and zip down my pants. He helps me slide out of them. I lie in my underwear, letting out a soft breath. His hands and lips kiss their way down my back.  
  
I let out a soft moan, feeling his fingers on my lower back, teasing me as my hips shift against the mattress. I feel Jack's hips above mine, feeling me respond to his ministrations.  
  
"You like that?" he leans down, breathing into my ear.  
  
I roll around beneath his grasp, my hands snake around his body, holding him close against me. My answer is a smile as I lean up, brushing my lips against his.  
  
My hands move over his back, lifting his shirt up and over his head. His lips capture mine once again, as my fingers move down his waist to his belt buckle. I slide beneath his body, using my teeth to unzip his pants. He let's out a low groan, obviously aroused by my actions. My eyes watch his as my fingers pull at his pants.  
  
I hear the doorbell and moan out a sigh of frustration as I eye Jack. "Eva!" I yell for her to answer the door.  
  
"It's Martin," she tells me. Jack rolls onto his back, lying against the mattress with a sigh.  
  
"You need to tell him." Jack eyes me seriously.  
  
"Right now?"  
  
"I think now is a good time. Then we can finish what we've started," he answers, brushing his mouth against mine for another intense kiss. My hands roam in his hair, pulling him tight against me. "Don't be too long," he reminds me, slipping from my hold. I head into my bathroom, grabbing a robe and putting it on.  
  
"Stay in here," I tell him, blowing him a kiss before heading into the living room.  
  
"Samantha." I see Martin standing in the doorway and Eva eating ice cream in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I heard about the case. I wanted to see how you're doing."  
  
"I'm good," I answer with a smile. "How's the seminar been?"  
  
"Long and boring. Thank Jack when you see him," he answers with a laugh.  
  
"About Jack," I chew on my lower lip, feeling my heart race and my stomach knot at having to tell him. Before the words escape my lips, I hear the phone ringing and grab for it. "Hello?" I hear a crying voice on the other end. "Slow down; who is this?"  
  
"It's Morgan. I need your help."  
  
"What's wrong?" I can hear loud music in the background and her breathing is erratic.  
  
"I'm at a party and I want to go home," she pleads with me.  
  
"What's the address?" I question, scribbling it down and hanging up. "I have to pick Morgan up from a party. Can I talk to you tomorrow night?" I question.  
  
"You want company?"  
  
"I think it's better if I go alone. Morgan sounded upset and I want her to be able to confide in me."  
  
"All right, I'll see you tomorrow night then. Bye, Samantha." He slips out the door and I head into the bedroom to see Jack lying on the bed.  
  
"So?"  
  
"I couldn't tell him," I answer. "I got interrupted. I've got to pick Morgan up from a party." I grab my keys and slip on my clothes in front of Jack.  
  
He sits up, grabbing his pants and shirt. "I'll come with you."  
  
"Jack," I pause, "you can stay here. I'll be back in under an hour."  
  
"You've had a long day," he reminds me, putting out his hand to accept my keys. "Let me drive." I let out a sigh and hand them over. "Don't tell Martin I let you go with me."  
  
"What? You didn't tell him I was in the bedroom?" he teases.  
  
"No, I figured you could tell him that," I answer, slipping on my shoes and following Jack to his car.  
  
We pull up in front of the apartment complex. "Wait here," I tell him, as I step out of the car. I make my way up the stairs and see Morgan sitting out in the hallway, dressed in a glitter halter-top and tight black pants. Her eyes are glistened with tears as she eyes me. "Come on." I help her to her feet, bringing her down to the car.  
  
"Are you going to take me home?"  
  
"That's the plan," I point out.  
  
"Mom's going to kill me," she sighs.  
  
"Why's that?" I question, opening the backdoor to let her inside the car. I take a seat up front and glance back at her.  
  
"I was supposed to be spending the night over at Brittany's house."  
  
"Where's Brittany?" I eye her intently.  
  
"Upstairs. That's not her house, though."  
  
"I figured that," I answer with a soft breath. "You can sleep on my couch if you want," I eye her, "but you have to call your mom and dad."  
  
"Samantha," her voice pleads with me.  
  
"They need to know where you are. I don't care how much you tell them. Here," I hand her my cell phone. "When you're done talking to them, I want to tell them something."  
  
"Okay," she answers, dialing the number. "Mom it's me. I'm spending the night over at Samantha's place instead," She pauses and let's out a sigh. "No, she doesn't mind. Brittany and I got into a disagreement about something." I can hear her mother's loud voice but I can't make out her words. "No, I don't want to talk about it." Morgan hands me the phone.  
  
"Vanessa?" I question.  
  
"Yeah, is Morgan all right?"  
  
"Just a little upset," I answer. "I told her if she ever had a problem, she could call me. I hope that's okay."  
  
"It's fine," she answers, slightly annoyed.  
  
"I have to work, but I can drop her off at school in the morning."  
  
"That would be great. I'm out of town for the night and her dad had to work late," Vanessa pauses, "so she was supposed to stay the night at Brittany's and go with her to school in the morning." I eye Morgan intently.  
  
"All right, bye." I hang up the phone and eye Morgan.  
  
"You have your school things for tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes," she nods. "Thanks for not ratting me out."  
  
I laugh softly. "I can't tell you how many parties I snuck out to." I eye her seriously. "You want to tell me what happened?"  
  
"There was a bunch of them drinking. There was this guy there, Ben, and he was pretty messed up. He started--" she pauses, eyeing Jack, "he wanted to do things that I wasn't comfortable with," she tells me.  
  
"You're okay now," I remind her, as we pull in front of my apartment. We step through the front door and I notice Eva's door closed; she's likely asleep.  
  
"I'll be in the bedroom," Jack tells me, giving me some privacy with Morgan.  
  
I lead her to the couch to sit down. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"  
  
She glances around hesitantly. "I--" she pauses, letting out a breath, "he wanted me to--"  
  
"What, Morgan?"  
  
"Do things to him," she tells me. "I've never--" her eyes meet mine, "and I thought it was gross. So I told him 'no' and then everyone there started calling me a prude." Morgan's eyes well up with tears.  
  
I give her a warm hug. "It's okay," I reassure her, running my hand softly against her back. "You did the right thing," I nod. "I'm glad you called me."  
  
"You won't tell my parents what I said?" Her eyes show fear and concern.  
  
"No," I smile softly.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Eva's voice as she patters into the living room. "Hi," she smiles with a yawn toward Morgan.  
  
"Morgan, this is Eva."  
  
"She helping you out too?" Eva eyes Morgan intently.  
  
Morgan nods her head quickly, wiping her eyes. "You should get some sleep," I remind Morgan, "you've got school in the morning."  
  
"All right."  
  
"I'll bring you a pillow and a blanket. Sorry I don't have another bed for you. Eva's got the guestroom."  
  
"You can have it for tonight," Eva offers. "You look like you need it more then I do." Eva takes her hand, showing her to the bedroom.  
  
"Thanks, Eva," I smile as I watch them walk off into the bedroom. A minute or two later I see Eva coming over towards me.  
  
"Do you adopt everyone you know?" Eva teases.  
  
"She's my half-sister," I answer.  
  
"I didn't know you had any siblings."  
  
"Neither did I," I answer with a laugh, "well, not until a short while ago."  
  
"Oh," she nods, slightly confused.  
  
"It's getting late. I'm going to head into bed. You know where the extra blankets and pillows are, right?"  
  
"Of course," Eva answers as I slip into my bedroom.  
  
"You're still awake?" I slip into bed beside Jack, pulling off my shirt and pants. I slide between the sheets, feeling his warm body next to mine.  
  
"I was waiting up for you," he answers, rolling onto his side, moving his hand through my hair and brushing it past my face. "You're an amazing person," he tells me softly.  
  
"What?" I laugh, curious as to the look on his face.  
  
"I can't believe all the things you've done--for both Eva and Morgan-- although I hope your boss doesn't give you too hard a time when you're late tomorrow morning." He brushes his lips against mine playfully.  
  
"I guess I'll have some convincing to do," I answer, sliding my hand beneath his shirt and feeling his warm skin against my palms.  
  
He gently rolls me onto my back, leaning above me. His eyes glance into mine seriously, "When are you going to tell Martin about us?"  
  
"Tomorrow night," I answer. "You're more then welcome to join us," I tease, playfully nibbling at his neck.  
  
"As fun as that sounds, I think I'll take a rain check."  
  
"Your loss," I remind him, brushing my lips against his.  
  
"Sam," he props himself to meet my gaze but doesn't touch me. "I still can't get over why you took off the wire."  
  
"I didn't need everyone hearing what I might have had to do," I point out. "As much as it sickened me, I had to restrain our perp and make him think I was there for sex. I didn't think the entire NYPD and FBI needed to hear what was going on," I point out.  
  
"You shouldn't have taken it off," he eyes me intently. "Do you know how worried I was? We had no way of contacting you, no way of knowing what happened."  
  
"I was fine," I muse. "I can't say the same for our missing person."  
  
"You helped put him away," I feel Jack's hand in my hair.  
  
"It's not enough," I answer. "I wanted to find him alive, so he could be with his family."  
  
"We can't save them all," Jack reminds me, lying down to rest beside me.  
  
"Sometimes I wish we could," I whisper, taking his hand in mine. I feel the cold metal of his ring and touch the band. My eyes meet his and I can't even the form the question on my lips as to why he still wears the barrier between us.  
  
I roll around, dropping his hand and shutting off the light. I close my eyes, not wanting to think what it means.  
  
"Samantha," I feel his hand on my shoulder as my head turns to face him.  
  
"Hmmm?" I breathe out.  
  
"Goodnight," he softly whispers.  
  
"Night," I answer, allowing myself to succumb to sleep.  
  
I roll over in the middle of the night, feeling an empty space beside me. "Jack?" I whisper, opening my eyes to the realization that he left--again.  
  
I hear the toilet flush and moments later hear footsteps emerging. I feel the bed shift and my eyes glance over at him. "You're awake?" he questions.  
  
"I thought you left."  
  
He slips deeper into the covers, onto his side as he pulls me close against him.  
  
"Nope, I'm with you forever," he answers, closing his eyes as I feel his breathing deepen against me. I lean my head into his chest, closing my eyes as I fall back asleep. 


	53. Chapter 53

"I thought you left."  
  
He slips deeper into the covers, onto his side as he pulls me close against him.  
  
"Nope, I'm with you forever," he answers, closing his eyes as I feel his breathing deepen against me. I lean my head into his chest, closing my eyes as I fall back asleep.  
  
******  
  
I feel Jack's hands on my shoulder and his lips on my neck. "Hmm?" I moan, squinting my eyes in the morning light.  
  
"I'm going to drop Morgan off at school."  
  
"I'll do it," I offer with a yawn.  
  
"Go back to sleep. I'll meet you at the office." I feel his lips on my cheek, as he slips out of bed and I roll back over, falling asleep once again.  
  
The phone jars me awake and I reach out to answer my cell phone. I lift it from the table and turn it on to hear the phone still ringing. I glance down, realizing it's not my phone that someone is calling. Jack must have left his phone here.  
  
"Hello?" I mumble, too tired to be professional and answer the 'correct' way.  
  
"Is Jack there, Samantha?" I hear a woman's voice and recognize it as Maria's.  
  
"No, he left already," I answer with a yawn. "You want me to tell him to call you?"  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"Of course," I answer with a soft smile.  
  
I sit up in bed and glance at the clock, realizing I should probably be up already anyhow. I head into the bathroom for a quick shower before getting dressed. I make my way into the kitchen, grabbing some breakfast as I eye Eva, who's sitting at the table eating cereal.  
  
"I don't buy it," she eyes me skeptically.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You and Jack. You two are involved," she states soundly.  
  
"No," I shake my head, trying to surpress a grin.  
  
"Then why did you leave Jack in your bedroom when Martin stopped by? It isn't like Martin and Jack haven't been over together before?" Her eyes raise in intrigue.  
  
"We weren't doing anything out of the ordinary," I shrug. "We were just sleeping in bed together."  
  
"Ha!" she laughs. "I knew it!"  
  
"Sleeping, Eva."  
  
"Sure," she shakes her head. "I don't buy it."  
  
"You don't have to. It's the truth," I answer, as I stand up and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and clip my hair up before heading into the office.  
  
I make my way up the elevator and down the hallway. I glance into Jack's office, and he looks up from his paperwork to greet me.  
  
"Hey, Sam."  
  
"You forgot this," I hand him his phone.  
  
"Oh, thanks," he smiles up at me. "Anything else?"  
  
"Maria called this morning. She said to call her back."  
  
"All right."  
  
"Thanks for taking care of Morgan this morning."  
  
"No problem," he smiles. "I dropped her off a little early and saw the girls on their way into school."  
  
"How are they doing?"  
  
"Upset I'm not around, but it's nothing new to them," he says, expelling a soft breath.  
  
"We have a new case?" I question with wide eyes.  
  
"Yes, but Van Doren wants to speak with you in her office."  
  
"Do you know what it's about?"  
  
Jack shakes his head 'no', as I slip out of his office and head down to Van Doren's.  
  
"Agent Spade," she waves me to come inside. "Take a seat," she tells me soundly, and I do as I'm told. "I'm curious about yesterday's situation. I've read the police report and I suppose I want to know some of the details that have been omitted."  
  
"Omitted?" I repeat, shaking my head.  
  
"To begin with, you took off the wire you were assigned to wear."  
  
I nod my head briefly. "Yes. I felt my cover would have likely been blown if I left it on any longer. Our suspect believed I was there for sexual relations and I was concerned if he so much as brushed up against me, he would have felt the device."  
  
"So you chose to leave it in the bathroom instead?"  
  
"It was the only place I could take it off, without his knowledge of it."  
  
"Now I'm confused as to what happened after that. How'd you manage to tour his house?"  
  
"He believed I was interested in bondage so he allowed me to tie him to the bed posts and blindfold him. I told him I was going to get something from the fridge and I scouted out his place. Sometime in there, he managed to work the binds free, and he came up behind me with a knife when I was in the guest bedroom."  
  
"Which is when you shot him?"  
  
"I told him I was with the FBI and to drop his weapon. After he refused, he slashed at me with the knife, causing me to discharge my gun. The first bullet grazed his wrist and the second went into his chest," I tell her.  
  
"So you didn't actually find Kent Collins?" She eyes me intently.  
  
"No," I shake my head, "his body was in the basement hidden between floorboards. When the NYPD and FBI came in, that's when his body was recovered."  
  
"I see," she nods, scribbling down some notes. "Hopefully, we'll have things cleared up in no time. Her eyes meet mine as I see a look of compassion and something else--concern? "Samantha, I don't know what exactly happened when you both were in his house, alone. I can only hope that you didn't do anything against better judgment to obtain information." She lets out a breath and shuts the file in front of her. "I know Agent Malone wanted you to see the in-house therapist. Obviously I'm unaware of how that was going. However, after Lisa's own issues lately, it's highly unlikely she'll be back with us. I would like you to continue seeing someone, especially given the recent set of circumstances."  
  
"I'm seeing someone outside of the Bureau," I tell her firmly.  
  
"I hope you will continue doing that," she eyes me. "There is one other thing that has been brought to my attention, and that is the recent problems between you and Agent Fitzgerald. I realize you all have been working together closely, and I would hate to see you get transferred because of a few differences that haven't been worked out. Every day we put our lives on the line for one another. If I feel your work is in question even the slightest, I'll have you transferred out of here in a split second. There have been a number of other agents from various field offices who are interested in working the Missing Persons Unit. I hope I won't have to bring them up here because of a few differences of opinion." Her eyes bore into mine as I nod my head and step out of her office.  
  
I make my way towards Jack and see him talking with Danny and Vivian. I let out an annoyed breath, trying not to let Van Doren hamper my spirits, but it's not much use. Jack insists I tell Martin about us, but what happens then? What if Martin doesn't accept it and makes working with him difficult? Then am I to blame for the behavior? Van Doren apparently believes so.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Jack's voice and glance into his eyes.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Go take a seat in my office. I'll be with you in a minute."  
  
"I'm all right," I tell him. His eyes tell me he means business and I let out a soft breath, find my way inside and take a seat.  
  
Jack makes his way inside, shutting the door behind him. He takes a seat on the edge of his desk, his legs brushing mine. "Sam, what's going on?"  
  
"Van Doren," I pause for a moment. "If things aren't good between Martin and myself, I'll be transferred out."  
  
His eyes widen as he shifts on the desk, taking in the news. "Well, then I guess you two have to make sure things are good."  
  
"You don't get it," I groan. "As soon as I tell him about us," I whisper before my voice resumes its normal tone, "he's going to make things awkward. I'll lose my job!"  
  
"You can't lead him on, Samantha."  
  
"You've got to help me out."  
  
"I can't," he sighs, placing his hands in his lap. "You've got two other options, though." My eyes plead with him to help me. "You can tell Martin you're not interested and don't mention that you're seeing someone else."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"Tell him the truth because he deserves to know and take the chance that you'll be transferred. Maybe you can request a transfer within the New York Field Office, at least then--" his voice trails off.  
  
"We won't get in trouble?" I question. "I like what I do, Jack. I never felt that at the NYPD."  
  
"Maybe you'll find something else you like here too." I shake my head is dismay. "Either way, you have to tell Martin something tonight."  
  
"I know," I let out a breath, "I just wish he wasn't so emotionally invested."  
  
"Why? So you wouldn't feel so bad?" Jack's eyes meet mine. "It's the price of an adult relationship," he teases with a smile. "Don't sweat it; he's a big boy," Jack reminds me. "Besides," he rests a hand on my shoulder, "you knew this day would come eventually."  
  
"I know," I let out a soft breath, "I guess I was just hoping I could postpone it," I laugh softly. "What's the new case?"  
  
"There isn't one. Not yet anyways. Everyone's filling out paperwork and reports. I think you owe me one also."  
  
"Yeah," I nod, "I'll get right on it." I stand up and head for the door.  
  
"Sam." I glance back, my hand on the doorknob.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you," he tells me.  
  
My eyes are wide and I feel taken aback by his honesty, especially at work. I can't hide the smile on my lips, as I leave his office and head for my desk.  
  
"Isn't it amazing how you walk into his office sulking and come out with a huge smile," Danny chimes, quiet enough for me to hear. My gaze turns to his, with my jaw wide. "Don't be so shocked; it's fairly obvious."  
  
"How long have you known?"  
  
"It's more like how would we not know, Samantha?" Vivian chimes, coming over towards my desk.  
  
I lean my head back against the chair I'm sitting on.  
  
"Don't look so surprised. We knew as far back as two years ago. We just can't keep quiet any longer," Danny tells me, sitting on the edge of my desk.  
  
"So, you told Van Doren?"  
  
"No." They both exchange glances. "We didn't say anything," Vivian states. "Maybe Martin knew?"  
  
"I haven't told him yet. At least not about anything recent." I bite down on my lower lip. "You guys have to help me out. Jack wants me to tell Martin tonight and if we can't get along at the office, I'll be transferred out of here."  
  
"Maybe you could hook Martin up with another date?" Danny muses. "Get his mind on someone else?"  
  
"Know anyone?" My eyes widen with intrigue as I eye Danny and Vivian.  
  
"Sorry," Viv shakes her head. "I've got to get back on this report." She heads off towards her desk.  
  
"Don't worry, you're not getting transferred," Danny tells me, as he makes his way to his desk.  
  
I let out a soft sigh as I type up my report, then head into Jack's office to drop it off.  
  
"Done already?" he eyes me.  
  
I nod my head with a soft breath. "Yeah."  
  
Jack eyes his watch. "It's almost lunch time. Why don't you meet Martin and talk things through. See if you both can work together." He eyes me intently. "Let me know how things go."  
  
"What about you?" I question.  
  
"I'll grab lunch with Vivian and Danny," he answers, glancing down at the file and then back up at me. "Good luck," he smiles up at me.  
  
"Thanks, I'm going to need it." I step out of his office and make my way down the hall. I enter the elevator, hitting the button for the third floor and head out towards the main conference room. I wait outside for a few minutes, watching as everyone starts heading out for lunch. I peek my head inside as the room clears, but I don't see Martin leaving.  
  
Martin's sitting in a chair with a binder open, scribbling something down. I come up from behind and place my hand gently on his shoulder. "Hey," I smile towards him and his head jerks back from surprise.  
  
"Samantha," his eyes are wide. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I wanted to take you to lunch," I smile, as he stands up, shuffling the papers into the binder and we head out to his car.  
  
"I was surprised to see you," he says as he slides his key into the door and unlocks it. I take a seat in the passenger side, glancing towards him.  
  
"We need to talk," I tell him bluntly.  
  
"Is this about what I said? I truly am sorry."  
  
"No," I laugh softly. "It's forgotten--well mostly," I tell him. He heads towards a small diner and I feel my stomach knot.  
  
"Then what is it, Samantha?"  
  
"I'll tell you later," I answer with a tight-lipped smile, not wanting to spoil the mood right now. I know he likely won't freak out in public. I'm not so certain about in the car when we're alone.  
  
"Any new cases?" Martin eyes me.  
  
"We just finished one up last night. Nothing new this morning though."  
  
"That's good," he muses.  
  
"I suppose it is," I let out a sigh. "I pretty much spent the morning with Van Doren and then writing my report."  
  
"How'd last night go?" he eyes me curiously.  
  
"Oh yeah, Morgan, my half-sister. She ran into some trouble at a party, so I picked her up and had her stay the night."  
  
"Was she okay?"  
  
"A little shaken up, but she'll manage."  
  
We head inside the restaurant and take a seat across from each other in a booth. We both place our orders and I glance down at my hands, getting the strength to break the news to him.  
  
"Martin," I let out a breath, "I don't know how to tell you this."  
  
"Whatever it is," he pauses, resting his hands over mine, "you can tell me."  
  
"I'm--" my voice is cut off when Kellar slides over to sit beside me. He swings his arm around me.  
  
"Is this the guy you're dating?" Kellar glances at Martin in amusement. Martin's eyes meet mine, curious if we're a couple, and my voice fails me. "Come on, Samantha. I've never known you to be shy for words." I swat my hand at his arm, shutting him up. "Ouch!"  
  
"You're just mad because I turned you down for a date."  
  
"Wouldn't you be?" Kellar glances towards Martin. "She did one hell of a job yesterday on the investigation."  
  
"So I've heard," Martin muses, eyeing me and then Kellar.  
  
Kellar has his arm around the headrest on the bench, claiming me as his girl, even if I'm not. "We should get drinks sometime, the three of us? You wouldn't mind, Martin, would you?" Kellar's eyes meet Martin's.  
  
"I don't think that's such a wise decision," I interrupt. "As flattered as I am, I'll have to say 'no'."  
  
"For old time's sake?" Kellar glances deep into my eyes with a smile.  
  
"No," I shake my head with a laugh. "It isn't going to happen."  
  
"Just one night?"  
  
"You couldn't even last that long," I retort with a grin.  
  
"Low blow," he mocks being offended as the waitress brings our food. "I'll let you two lovebirds get back to your lunch. Call me, Samantha." He blows me a kiss goodbye as I roll my eyes and shake my head.  
  
"You let him talk to you like that?" Martin glances up at me from his lunch.  
  
"He's just kidding around," I shrug. "He doesn't mean anything by it."  
  
"Did you tell him we were--"  
  
"No," I shake my head. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I say as I let out a soft breath. His eyes watch mine. "I know how you feel about me, and I can't let this drag on between us."  
  
"Samantha." I eye him to hush.  
  
"You're a great friend and a wonderful agent to work with, Martin, but it would never work between us."  
  
"You're right, because you wouldn't let it. I have to get out of here." He stands up, taking his coat and tossing money on the table to pay for his meal as he heads out.  
  
I let out a sigh. Maybe I should have waited to tell him until we got back. At least then I wouldn't need a ride. I finish eating, pay the remainder of the bill and head out for a cab, since it's too cold to walk outside.  
  
I make my way inside the building and to my desk. I sit down, letting out an aggravated sigh, as I hear heels clinking against the floor. "Samantha." I feel Vivian's presence behind me.  
  
I spin around in my chair to meet her gaze. "Got an empty box?" I question.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure I won't be here on Monday."  
  
Vivian leans up against the desk. "He didn't take it well?" she winces.  
  
"That's an understatement," I point out. "He left me at the diner."  
  
"You're joking?"  
  
"I kid you not." I let out a breath, trying to calm myself down.  
  
"Van Doren's just making threats. She's not going to get rid of you. You're a valuable asset to us."  
  
"She doesn't seem to think so," I breathe. "Maybe I'd be better off telling her now that she's going to need to transfer me, so I'll still be in the New York office." My mind races with the possibilities. Vivian must sense this.  
  
"Calm down," she nods her head. "You're not going anywhere." She walks off, heading towards Jack's office. She's going to tell him; I could have done that!  
  
I turn towards the computer, checking any recent e-mail for anything that needs my immediate attention.  
  
"Sam." I feel Jack's warm hand on my shoulder as I glance back to catch his gaze. "Can I see you in my office?"  
  
"Um, yeah." I stand up, feeling his hand on my lower back as he follows me inside, shutting the door behind him. I take a seat, eyeing him intently.  
  
"Things didn't go well with Martin?"  
  
"I told him the truth," I pause, "that I couldn't be with him."  
  
"Did you tell him about us?"  
  
"I don't remember," I whisper. "I don't think so. He stormed off before I could, even if I wanted to."  
  
"Sam," he lets out a breath, his eyes watching mine. "We probably shouldn't even be having this conversation here." His voice is low, keeping anyone from overhearing, even with the door shut.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I'll be transferred, probably to some town in the middle of nowhere." Jack shakes his head 'no', his lips in a wry smile. "What?"  
  
"Do you trust me?" he eyes me seriously.  
  
"Implicitly."  
  
"Then go back to work," he tells me, moving behind his desk to sit down.  
  
"Okay," I whisper, standing up and heading back towards my desk. I hear my phone ringing, surprised it's not my cell phone, and I lean across the desk. "Spade," I answer.  
  
"Samantha." I hear tears in her voice, as I glance down at the caller ID display panel, noticing she's at home.  
  
"Eva, what's wrong?"  
  
"HELP!" she cries out, as the phone line goes dead. I jump up, briskly entering Jack's office.  
  
"Eva's in trouble. I have to go."  
  
"Sam, what happened?" Jack stands up as I exit his office, grabbing my coat and slipping it on.  
  
"I don't know. The line went down. There was a loud crash and she was crying and screaming for help." He pulls out his keys.  
  
"Danny, Vivian finish up what you're doing. We'll be back shortly." He takes my elbow, escorting me down to his car. I take a seat in the passenger side, letting him drive because I'm physically shaking. Jack rests his hand on my leg to keep me from bouncing all over the place. "Samantha, I'm sure she's fine," he tells me soundly.  
  
"I hope so," I whisper, chewing nervously on my lower lip as we pull in front of my apartment complex. We make our way up the stairs and I notice the front door ajar. "Eva?" I call out, glancing around at the mess, my gun drawn. Everything's been scattered and torn apart. I keep my gun in front of me, ready to aim at the sight of an intruder.  
  
I make my way, room to room, finding clothes and books scattered around but no sign of Eva. I flip the light on in the bathroom, checking the one final place as I come face-to-face with the mirror. In dried blood that dripped down the glass are the words 'tick tock.' 


	54. Chapter 54

I make my way, room to room, finding clothes and books scattered around but no sign of Eva. I flip the light on in the bathroom, checking the one final place as I come face-to-face with the mirror. In dried blood that dripped down the glass are the words 'tick tock.'  
  
*******  
  
I glance towards Jack. "What the hell does that mean?" I eye him confused. He pulls out his cell phone, calling for a CSI team to secure the scene and take a sample of the blood.  
  
"Hell if I know," Jack answers. "Do you have anything valuable that someone might have been looking for?"  
  
"Not really. Besides, Eva's gone!" I eye Jack seriously. "She didn't just run off; someone took her."  
  
"I know," he nods his head, running his hand through his hair. He takes out his cell phone and calls Vivian. I collapse onto the couch, not wanting to think of my home as a crime scene. The police make their way through, asking questions and jotting down notes. They don't have much of anything to go on. I feel Jack's hand on my thigh.  
  
"Samantha?" I hear Kellar's voice and turn around to see him coming inside. Jack's hand stays firmly planted on my leg. "I heard your address from one of the other guys. Are you okay?"  
  
"It's Eva."  
  
"Who?" He looks confused, obviously out of the loop for too long.  
  
"Eva," I whisper. "She was staying with me temporarily. Someone came in and took her."  
  
"Why would anyone do that?"  
  
"I don't know." I glance towards Jack. "Can you make sure her uncle is still in prison?"  
  
"What's his name?" Kellar eyes me.  
  
"Jim Hunter."  
  
"I'll look into it for you," he tells me, eyeing Jack's hand on my thigh before leaving my apartment. I lean into Jack's body, feeling his arms embrace me. I don't care who knows about us because right now, I feel so alone without Eva. I need Jack's support and his love.  
  
"It's okay." Jack runs his hand through my hair, trying to soothe me as I feel my tears ready to fall.  
  
"No, it's not." My voice cracks and I take in a breath, trying to control my emotions. "We have to go in to work." I stand up, tugging for him to follow. "We have to do everything we can to find her."  
  
"We will. Vivian and Danny are working on her new job. Kellar's looking into her uncle. What do you suggest we do?" he eyes me intently.  
  
"Jack," I plead with him. "I can't sit around waiting--" I feel his gaze interrupting me. "For all we know, this person was after me!"  
  
Jack nods. "That's possible, but you two look nothing alike," he points out. "Besides, the message that was left tells me she's probably still alive."  
  
"What makes you so certain?" I eye him sadly.  
  
"She'd have already been dead and probably left here for show."  
  
I feel my eyes tearing up and I let out a breath, as my hand moves over my mouth to quiet my sobs. My head encompasses Jack's chest, letting the tears flow freely down my face and onto his shirt.  
  
"We'll find her," he reassures me, although his promise means nothing to my ears because it's one that might not be fulfilled. Jack's phone vibrates against his coat and he digs into his pocket to answer it. "Malone."  
  
I chew nervously on my bottom lip, hoping for something that will tell me she's all right.  
  
"Yeah," he blows out an annoyed breath. "I'm on a case right now; it's not a good time." I untangle myself from his frame, standing up and heading into the kitchen for something to drink. A few minutes later, I feel Jack's arms come up behind me, as I down the cold liquid.  
  
"I have to go," he whispers into my ear. I spin around, slamming the glass against the table, my eyes meeting his. "I promise I'll look into Eva's whereabouts."  
  
"Where are you going?" My eyes beg for him to stay.  
  
"I have to pick up the girls."  
  
I nod my head, slipping from his hold and collapsing onto the sofa. "You need to stay here and wait for a ransom call," he eyes me seriously.  
  
"What if it's not about the money?" I point out.  
  
He nods his head. "It's being looked into. You need to rest here and wait, though."  
  
I nod my head, pulling out my gun from its holster and fingering the metal. "Are you going to be okay?" he asks. I let out a soft laugh.  
  
"Go get the girls," I answer.  
  
"Sam." His eyes meet mine and I let out a sigh.  
  
"I'll manage. Call me later though?"  
  
"Of course. I'll need to check into a hotel tonight. I hope you'll come by."  
  
I nod my head with a sad smile on my lips, watching as he shuts the door behind him.  
  
I know Martin's probably in the seminar still, so I can't call him. I grab my phone, deciding to send him a text message. Eva's gone, I type, waiting for a response.  
  
A few minutes later, Martin returns my call. "What happened, Samantha?"  
  
"She was taken," I tell him, letting out a shaky breath. "She called me at the office; she was in trouble. When we got here, it was too late. There was blood on the mirror and--" my voice trembles and I grow silent to keep from crying.  
  
"Where are you now?"  
  
"I'm at home."  
  
"Do the others know?"  
  
"Yes." I nod with a tired sigh. "They're all looking into it, but we don't have any leads."  
  
"Shhh," I can hear his soft voice trying to calm me. "You've got the best team in New York City on it, Samantha. They'll find her."  
  
"I'm just worried it's too late."  
  
"Van Doren's making her way down the hall. I'll see what I can do." He hangs up the phone and I curl onto the sofa, closing my eyes and trying to rest my racing heart.  
  
The phone jars me awake and I stare at it. I let out a shaky breath, "Hello?"  
  
A digitized voice greets me on the other end, "Time's running out." The phone immediately disconnects, and I let out a sigh.  
  
I dial Danny to tell him about the call. "Hello?"  
  
"Danny, its Samantha."  
  
"How are you holding up?"  
  
"I'm not," I answer, "I just got a phone call."  
  
"Ransom?"  
  
"No, they said 'time is running out.' They wouldn't give me any other information or even let me speak to Eva."  
  
"Hmmm," I can imagine his mind reeling. "Did you recognize the caller?"  
  
"It was digitized."  
  
"Have you heard from Kellar yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I'll give him a call," Danny tells me. "Maybe we can find ourselves a suspect." I hang up the phone and wait to find out from Danny that Jim Hunter is still in police custody. An hour and a half later, Jack rings me and I let out a sigh, hearing his voice again.  
  
"How are you doing, Sam?"  
  
"I'll be all right. Is everything okay with the girls?"  
  
"Yeah, the babysitter got sick. Kate has a doctor's appointment and Maria couldn't pick them up. I'm checking into a hotel and then taking them out to dinner. Why don't you come with us?"  
  
"I can't eat," I answer with a sigh.  
  
"Sam, you've got to."  
  
"I can't." I shake my head with tears. "Eva's in trouble."  
  
"I know, I heard from Danny about the phone call. I don't want you there alone."  
  
"I'll be fine. I have my gun," I remind him.  
  
"For me, Samantha, please?"  
  
"Yeah," I answer with a resigned sigh. "Where do you want to meet?"  
  
"I'll pick you up," he offers. "Be ready to go when I get there."  
  
"Thanks," I whisper as I hang up the phone and shut my eyes.  
  
I don't know how long I've been asleep, but my cell phone jars me awake. "Hello?"  
  
"We're outside," I hear Jack's voice and smile sadly.  
  
"I'll be down in a minute." I hang up the phone and pull on my jacket. I slip my gun into its holster and make my way out the front door to see Jack's car outside. I head for the front, seeing the girls both sitting in the back seat.  
  
"Any new calls?" he asks, as I step into the car and buckle myself in.  
  
"None," I answer with a sigh, closing my eyes momentarily. The car pulls out into traffic and I feel two sets of eyes on me.  
  
"Hannah and Kate, remember when I was telling you about Samantha?"  
  
I glance back to see both of their faces. "Hey," I smile, trying to ease their mind as well as my own. The last thing I need is to have Jack's kids giving me a hard time.  
  
Hannah turns her head out the window and crosses her arms. I can't see Kate's expression but I can pretty much guess it's the same. I eye Jack and let out a soft breath. "Any suspects?"  
  
Jack shakes his head and moves his hand over mine. "We'll find her."  
  
"Find who?" Kate interjects.  
  
"Kate, how was school today?" Jack glances back towards her, changing the subject.  
  
"Boring," she shrugs, eyeing Hannah.  
  
"Don't copy me!" Hannah pouts, and I glance back, curious as to her behavior.  
  
"Hannah, I already know how your day went. Your mother told me." His eyes glare back at her. I can only imagine what she did to piss Jack off. "When we get inside, you'll do your homework--no television," he reminds her.  
  
"But dad--" she pleads with him.  
  
"Hannah," his voice rises and she sulks lower, if at all possible, as her eyes grow narrow with anger.  
  
"Daddy," Kate chimes in, her voice slightly afraid of Jack's anger.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Are we spending the night with you?"  
  
"For tonight," he answers soundly. "I'll take you girls into school tomorrow."  
  
"Is Samantha spending the night too?" Kate questions intently.  
  
"Yes," he answers with a nod.  
  
"In your bed?" she questions, slightly startled and upset by this revelation.  
  
"I can go back to my place," I whisper towards him.  
  
His eyes glance my way and then in the rearview mirror towards Kate.  
  
"I don't want anything to happen to you," he answers me, not taking 'no' for an answer. I nod my head and let out a soft breath, hoping things won't turn any more awkward than they already are.  
  
We make our way into the hotel and head for the elevator.  
  
"You already have the key?" I question.  
  
"Yeah," he nods. "I checked in with the girls earlier. They dropped all their stuff off and I had to take Kate to the doctor. That's why I took so long."  
  
I nod my head, and we step out onto the floor and follow Jack down the hall. He unlocks the door, showing the girls into the room and then I follow behind. He booked a suite, giving the girls a pullout sofa to sleep on. I notice the double glass doors, with a curtain draped from the inside, giving Jack and me privacy.  
  
"You know, Jack, I didn't bring anything to wear to work."  
  
"You're not going in tomorrow."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're under stress as it is. Besides, there are enough agents to look into Eva's disappearance."  
  
"What if they call my apartment again?" I chew nervously on my lower lip.  
  
"Don't worry. I've already thought that through. Your cell phone will pick up the call. You have that with you, right?" I nod my head and he smiles softly towards me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Relax, Sam."  
  
"Yeah, right," I nod, trying to calm my racing nerves.  
  
"Shhh," I feel his breath on my neck, but I can't bring myself to embrace him.  
  
"Daddy, can I watch TV in your room?" Kate questions with pleading eyes.  
  
"Sure," he nods, heading back to open the doors for her to go in.  
  
"Why don't you keep her company," Jack says in a soft voice. "I need to talk with Hannah."  
  
"All right." I head towards the bedroom, seeing Kate watching cartoons and lying on the bed. "Mind if I sit down?"  
  
Kate shrugs, not really caring much either way. I take a seat beside her, letting out a soft breath.  
  
"Are you missing?"  
  
"Excuse me?" I try not to laugh at the absurdity of her question.  
  
"My daddy finds missing people," she tells me, rolling onto her stomach to watch television.  
  
"I know; I work with your dad," I tell her.  
  
"If I go missing, will he find me?" I don't have time to formulate a response because Jack makes his way into the bedroom.  
  
"Hey, you two," he greets us, giving Kate a kiss on the head before she slides towards the center of the bed for Jack to sit with us.  
  
"I'm hungry," she groans, rolling around to face her dad.  
  
"You want room service?" he smiles, causing her to smile even brighter.  
  
"Really?" Her eyes are wide with enthusiasm.  
  
"Yes," he nods, grabbing a menu and then calling down for dinner.  
  
"Jack, your bill is going to be--"  
  
"Astronomical?" he answers. "I know. Van Doren doesn't care. She agreed that I should get you out of your place, so she thinks the cost is for two rooms, not one. I think as long as we keep dinner under a hundred, we'll be alright."  
  
"You'll have to turn in your expense account, and she's going to know--" He eyes me to hush. I let out a soft breath and lie against the pillows.  
  
"Do you have any homework to finish?" he eyes Kate intently.  
  
"I finished it already."  
  
"Good," he nods. Half an hour later, room service is at the door. Jack unlocks it, allowing them to come inside and we start eating.  
  
Once we're finished, we set up the sleep sofa and the girls slide into bed. Jack tucks them in while I head into the bedroom and sit on the bed with the phone in my hands. I hear his footsteps and the door between the rooms softly shut.  
  
"What's on your mind?" he glances towards me.  
  
"What do you think?" I whisper, dropping my head into my hands.  
  
Jack moves towards the bed, resting his hands on my shoulders as he looms above me. "It'll be okay," he tells me, sliding his thumb under my chin for me to look at him. I lean into his body instead, seeking the comfort I need.  
  
His hands softly run against my back. "I love you so much," he whispers down to me.  
  
"I love you too," I answer, holding him close against me. He breaks free from my grip and slips out of his shoes. He pulls off his shirt and grabs a pair of sweats from his bag. "I didn't bring anything to wear to bed," I muse.  
  
"Then sleep naked," he teases, digging through his bag and then tossing me a shirt to wear.  
  
"Thanks," I smile, slipping out of my clothes and pulling it on over my head.  
  
I slide beneath the covers, and leave the sheets pulled back for Jack to join me. He slides inside, and I cuddle against his body.  
  
"I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep," I whisper.  
  
"You want to talk?" he offers, skimming his hands along my back. I lean closer to feel his skin against mine, as he plants a warm kiss on my lips. My mouth opens, allowing him to probe further as I lie against the mattress and feel his body warm me up.  
  
"Mmm," I whisper, my eyes slipping closed as I feel Jack shift and turn off the light. "Maybe I wanted it on," I tease, pressing another kiss to his lips.  
  
"It's late," he answers, brushing his fingers lower down my back.  
  
"It's always late," I muse.  
  
"Sam?" His voice holds concern as he glances into my eyes.  
  
"I'm just worried about her."  
  
"I know," he nods, holding me snuggly. "I am too."  
  
"I don't have any idea who would have taken her." I shake my head, feeling my emotions overcome me once again. "Can we talk about something else?"  
  
"Of course. What do you want to talk about?" he asks.  
  
I try and think of something that would be less upsetting, but find myself curious about Hannah's earlier behavior. "Why was Hannah in trouble?" I whisper.  
  
"She talked back to one of her teachers today. We think it's because she has a boyfriend who's 13."  
  
"How old is Hannah?" I question.  
  
"She'll be ten in a little over a month," he answers.  
  
"And you're okay with her having an older boyfriend?" I question.  
  
"Absolutely not!" he shakes his head. "I've been against it from the start. Maria figures it's nonsense and they're just holding hands and playing games together. I think there's more to it."  
  
"How long has this been going on?"  
  
"Since she found out about us," he answers.  
  
"Not long then," I muse.  
  
"He's trouble," Jack shakes his head. "I've tried everything to keep them apart but--"  
  
"It's no use?" I eye him.  
  
"What does a thirteen-year-old boy want with my daughter?" Jack eyes me intently. "Whatever it is, it can't be good," he points out. "Hormones start kicking in, and it's no longer innocent."  
  
"Maybe she's just looking for someone that will be around."  
  
"You think I won't?" his voice rises a notch. I move my finger over his lips to hush him.  
  
I whisper in a soft, reassuring voice, "I think she's scared you'll leave her," I remind him.  
  
"That sounds like your fears, especially after your father," he points out.  
  
I shrug. "I could be wrong, but obviously she's acting out."  
  
"I know," he nods. "Maria told me to fix it. Why can't it ever be that simple?"  
  
I laugh softly. "Nothing in life is." I close my eyes, moving my hand along Jack's chest to feel connected to him. "Thanks for letting me spend the night," I whisper.  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way," he answers, pressing a kiss to my lips, as I feel his fingers stroking my sides. His movements gradually decline as he falls asleep. 


	55. Chapter 55

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he answers, pressing a kiss to my lips, as I feel his fingers stroking my sides. His movements gradually decline as he falls asleep.  
  
********  
  
In the darkness, I watch his peaceful face and feel his soft breath on my lips. I'm too wired to sleep right now, especially with his girls next door. I chew on my bottom lip, thinking of where Eva might be and the danger she is likely in. My stomach tenses and my nerves only make me more anxious as I roll around in bed.  
  
My back is to the clock and time has truly eluded me. I feel tired, but can't sleep. Jack's hand continues to rest on my hip, and the small amount of comfort puts a sad smile on my face.  
  
My cell phone jars Jack awake and I sit up, reaching for the device. "Hello?" I question, feeling my heart pound in my chest, as Jack flips on the light and watches me.  
  
"Samantha," I hear Eva's shaky voice, a mere whisper.  
  
"Where are you?" I question, my adrenaline surging as I wait for her response.  
  
"I don't know," she answers in tears. "There's a train or something nearby."  
  
"What the--" I hear a male voice booming in the background as the phone line dies.  
  
"Shit!" I eye Jack, as he grabs his phone, finding out if a trace on the line managed to get us an address.  
  
"Nothing?" He lets out a sigh and runs his hand through his hair. "Yeah, she said she's near train tracks. I know it could be anywhere. Are there any leads you have to go on?" He pauses, eyeing me sympathetically. "Yeah, I'll look into it." He hangs up the phone and sits up in bed, pulling his feet off the mattress.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Find out about this phone call. Obviously Eva's still alive." He presses a kiss to my lips and pulls on his clothes. "I'll be back in time to take the girls into school. Keep an eye on them for me, will you?"  
  
"Why don't you stay?" I question. "I can check whatever lead you're looking into."  
  
"Van Doren's meeting me at the office. They have a ten-mile radius of the phone call. We're going to narrow the search and see what we can find. Stay here, please?"  
  
I nod my head and let out a soft breath. "Be careful," I tell him, giving him a quick kiss goodbye as he fastens his gun and shuts off the light before leaving.  
  
I lie back down, closing my eyes and imaging all the horrible things that could happen. I don't want to think such awful things, but I can't help it.  
  
I hear a soft knocking against the curtained glass doors that separate the room. "Come in," I tell her, waiting to see Kate open the door and come towards the bed.  
  
"Where's daddy?"  
  
"He had to go out on a case."  
  
"Oh, why didn't you go?"  
  
"Someone had to keep an eye on both of you," I answer with a soft, tired yawn. "Can't sleep?" I question.  
  
"Daddy woke me up when he left."  
  
"Hungry?"  
  
Kate shakes her head 'no' and stands by the bed. "Can I watch TV in here for a little while? Mommy and Daddy usually let me."  
  
"Sure." I grab the remote, turning it on and flipping to find cartoons for Kate to watch.  
  
"Thanks," she says as she climbs into bed beside me. I lie back down, closing my eyes to the sound of the television and finally falling asleep.  
  
I feel warm hands in my hair and shift against the mattress. "Kate?" I question, remembering vaguely that she was in bed beside me.  
  
"Shhh," I hear in response and my eyes lazily open to see Jack sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
"What time is it?" I whisper, glancing over to see Kate lying asleep beside me.  
  
"Early," he answers, slipping off his shoes. "I'll be back," he tells me, standing up and picking up Kate from the bed to put her with Hannah.  
  
Jack pulls at his work clothes, stripping down to his underwear and slipping in bed beside me. "It's cold in here," he whispers towards me.  
  
"Jack, what time do your girls need to get up for school?"  
  
"Right now," he yawns.  
  
"I can take them; you get some sleep." I press a kiss to his forehead and slip into my clothes before waking the girls, getting them dressed and downstairs for breakfast.  
  
Once I drop the girls off, I stop at Starbucks for two coffees and head towards the hotel. I dial Danny on my cell phone.  
  
"Taylor," he answers.  
  
"Hey it's, Samantha."  
  
"I heard about the phone call. Any more?"  
  
"No," I let out a soft breath. "At least she's still alive." I bite down on my lip, hoping that hasn't changed. "I take it you guys didn't find anything?"  
  
"No, we searched door to door all night long. Not a trace of Eva. We're not even sure where to look anymore--unless she gives us some clue," he pauses momentarily.  
  
"She mentioned hearing a train."  
  
"We went by every warehouse and home, and didn't find any sign of her. No one's seen her either."  
  
"Can we get her picture on the news?" I feel my heart rate climbing once again.  
  
"Van Doren's looking into the press. She thinks it's a hard gamble, since there isn't any family associated with her. They all figure it's a runaway."  
  
"Who's she running from?" I point out.  
  
"Samantha, we're not giving up just yet, but we don't have anything to go on either."  
  
"Were any prints recovered?"  
  
"No," Danny answers, "and the blood was Eva's. Did you hear anything else when you were on the phone with her?"  
  
"A male voice interrupted us. I didn't recognize him though."  
  
"Accent?"  
  
"No," I answer as I pull in front of the hotel. "Do you want me to come in? Maybe I could be of some help--" I trail off.  
  
"Jack already told me you're not to work this case. If it were up to me--"  
  
"Okay, thanks, Danny." I hang up the phone and ride the elevator to our floor. I make my way inside, and see Jack going through some files spread across the bed.  
  
"Thanks for taking the girls in."  
  
"You owe me ten bucks."  
  
"What for?" he questions as I hand him a warm cup of coffee.  
  
"The girls needed lunch money," I answer with a smile. "Anything?" I let out a nervous breath, eyeing the files on the mattress.  
  
"Not yet," he shakes his head. "I ordered some more room service. They should be up with breakfast any minute."  
  
"Aren't you tired?" I rest my hand on his shoulder.  
  
"A little, but can't sleep now anyways," he points out. "The problem is we don't have any solid leads. Martin and Kellar are both doing what they can, but without anything substantial---" he shakes his head with a sigh.  
  
"We won't find her," I answer, slumping onto the bed.  
  
"Samantha, you know her best. Were there any guys she was involved with?"  
  
"No," I shake my head. "It's no one she knows; I'm sure of that."  
  
"Okay." He pushes the files together, making room for me to sit beside him comfortably. "How about when you two were out. Did you notice anyone following the two of you? Anyone come to the door recently?"  
  
"No," I shake my head. "There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary."  
  
"There isn't anyone from her work who was able to help us," he tells me, "so it has to be something else. She has no other family?"  
  
"Cousins, I think. They're younger then her. They wouldn't do this," I tell him soundly.  
  
I lie back against the pillows, feeling Jack's hands in my hair and tracing a line down my cheek. My mind reels back to hanging out with Eva, going shopping, to the video store, and then it hits me.  
  
My eyes flash open. "Jack," I glance into his dark hues. "There was something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We went shopping a while ago," I tell him. "It had to have been when she first came to live with me."  
  
"What happened, Samantha?"  
  
"We were at the mall, but it's probably nothing," I state. Jack eyes me to continue. "We flirted a little with this guy--Eva blew him a kiss. It was nonsense."  
  
"Did you see him again?"  
  
"He followed us around in the mall for ten minutes, maybe. We didn't see him again though."  
  
"Do you remember what he looks like?" Jack eyes me.  
  
"I can work with a sketch artist," I chew on my bottom lip.  
  
"Come on." He grabs the folders and ushers me down to his car.  
  
"The office?" I question.  
  
"Yeah," he nods, as he unlocks the door for me and I slip inside the vehicle. We arrive at the Bureau, and Jack follows me to get a sketch composite.  
  
Once it's finished, Van Doren manages to get the photo on television, hoping to break our case.  
  
"Now we sit around and wait," Vivian points out, as I come towards my desk.  
  
Jack comes towards me. "Uh-uh, you're off this case."  
  
"But, Jack," I whine and he shakes his head 'no'.  
  
"You did all that you can," he tells me, moving his hands over mine. "You should go back to the hotel."  
  
"Jack," I plead with him.  
  
He pulls out his keys, handing them to me. "Go home," he tells me, giving me no other option.  
  
"Fine." I take the keys briskly from his hands and storm out of the office. I pound on the button in the elevator and head for the parking garage. As I take a seat in his car, I let out a soft breath. I know Jack's trying to protect me, but I don't need that.  
  
As I head out onto the street, my cell phone interrupts me.  
  
"Hello?" My voice is dry and annoyed, figuring Jack or someone else is calling to check up on me.  
  
The voice is no longer masked behind an electronic device. "Give up so soon? You were so close to finding her." His voice is deep and drips with a sound that gives me the chills. I hear a horn of some kind in the background and realize it must be the train Eva mentioned.  
  
"What do you want?" I question.  
  
"The same thing it's always been--your affection, and hers. She hasn't exactly taken to my liking, though. I could do wonders with you." I bite down on my lip, keeping myself from gagging.  
  
"Let me come to you," I tell him.  
  
"You would like that, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Let her go, and you can have me," I offer him.  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"NO!" I shout into the phone. "Tell me where you are. There's nothing to think about."  
  
"Feisty, now, aren't we?" His laugh is dark and full of emptiness.  
  
"Tell me where you are," I repeat.  
  
"Watching you," he whispers in a low, throaty voice. "I'm always watching you, Samantha."  
  
I feel my breath caught in my throat. I glance into my rearview mirror, not seeing anyone following me.  
  
"I'm not back there," he tells me. I quickly turn around, looking from side to side, seeing no one on a phone or chatting while driving. "Give up yet?" he asks. "Don't bother trying to call your partner or slipping him a note. There's a camera in your car," he laughs darkly. "You'll never find it."  
  
"Where do you want to meet?" I question, feeling my stomach knot at knowing how dangerous this is, and hoping Jack will forgive me for what I'm about to do.  
  
"The corner of 5th and Monroe--twenty minutes." The line goes dead and I toss my phone onto the passenger seat.  
  
I step out from the car, parking it on the street corner and noticing no one in sight. The area is empty and over the fence is a set of train tracks. I glance around, seeing no one in sight and keep my hand holstered over my gun.  
  
I walk around the corner, coming straight into a man with dark hair in his late twenties. It appears to be the same man I saw at the mall, and I reach for my gun, with no luck. I feel my body falling to the cement as I groan out in pain. I can't see if there are two people or just one, but I know I'm in trouble. I grab for my weapon, but can't manage to retrieve it. I feel the pain overtake me as I fall deep into oblivion. 


	56. Chapter 56 & Epilogue

I walk around the corner, coming straight into a man with dark hair in his late twenties. It appears to be the same man I saw at the mall, and I reach for my gun, with no luck. I feel my body falling to the cement as I groan out in pain. I can't see if there are two people or just one, but I know I'm in trouble. I grab for my weapon, but can't manage to retrieve it. I feel the pain overtake me as I fall deep into oblivion.  
  
*******  
  
I awaken in the darkness, feeling my hands bound together behind my back and my legs tied with rope. "Eva?" I whisper, trying to sit up as I hear movement rustling around.  
  
"Samantha?" Her voice is weak and shaky. "Is it really you?"  
  
"Yeah," I nod with a soft breath, trying to rub my hands together to unknot the rope. "Almost got it," I manage to grunt out, feeling her hands in the darkness on mine.  
  
"Here," she offers, untying my hands and then helping with my legs. I reach down for my gun and find it missing. I let out a sigh.  
  
"Thanks. You're not tied up?"  
  
"No need," she says. "There's no way out of this room anyhow."  
  
"There has to be."  
  
"The only way in is through that door, and it's locked," she tells me with a sigh.  
  
"Well, we'll just have to pick the lock," I answer. I carefully stand up. My legs are weak and my head is spinning. My hands move to my head, as I fall to the floor in pain. "Ugh," I groan in agony.  
  
"Your head?" she questions, moving a hand to feel over the skin. "You're bleeding," she points out, as she wipes the blood and tears at her pants to use as a bandage.  
  
"I'll be all right," I tell her. "What about you? We found your blood at the house."  
  
"It's just my hand," she tells me, showing me the damage done to her palm from a blade or some kind of knife.  
  
My eyes have adjusted to the darkness and I can make out the slight swelling in her hand. "You're going to get an infection," I tell her as I glance towards the door. "Can you walk?" I question.  
  
"Yeah," she nods. "Doesn't matter, though, because we can't get out of here. Believe me, I've tried."  
  
"What's he want with us?" I question.  
  
"You don't want to know," she breathes out in a dark, distant voice, and it disturbs me.  
  
My hand comes up to reach her cheek. "Eva, he didn't hurt you, did he?"  
  
She laughs darkly. "He tried," she tells me with tears in her voice. "After I called you, he lost it completely."  
  
"I'm here now," I tell her supportively. "I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
"We have to get out of here, Samantha. Was anyone with you?"  
  
"No, I was supposed to go to the hotel I was staying at. He called me on my way back."  
  
"You didn't tell Jack?"  
  
"He was watching and listening to everything I did," I pause, "--everything that's been going on. I had no choice. I left my phone in the car; I don't know what I was thinking." I let out a sad sigh, praying for Jack to realize I'm gone and that I'm in danger. I yawn, tired from the pain and endurance of this entire ordeal. "How often does he come down here?"  
  
"Once, maybe twice since I've been here," she tells me. "I had some water-- that was about it. I'm not really hungry anyways," she sighs, moving her hand through my hair. "Does it hurt anywhere else?"  
  
"No," I whisper, "but the pain is pounding all over when I move." She sits at my side, running her fingers through my tresses to alleviate the pain. "Your team will find us. I knew you would come."  
  
"We didn't have any leads, until I remembered the guy from the mall. I thought it was a far shot but---"  
  
"How'd you know where to look for him?"  
  
"I didn't," I answer. "He called me, gave me an address to meet him at. I don't know how far we are from where the car is parked," I whisper.  
  
I close my eyes, tired with sleep and the darkness gives me some comfort and peace of mind. "Don't sleep, Samantha," she tells me.  
  
"Just for a little while."  
  
"Please," she begs me, tears in her voice, "I don't want to be alone."  
  
"I'm right here," I answer, feeling myself torn between two worlds.  
  
"Samantha, he's coming!" I feel her arms trying to shake me awake.  
  
"Owww," I moan, tears in my eyes from my head injury. I try to sit up, and in the darkness hear the door unlock. She grips onto me tightly, fearing for her life. "You promised to let her go!" I scream, seeing the door pull back and a figure staring back at me.  
  
I take in a deep breath, trying to steady my fears and protect Eva. The figure moves towards us, and in the darkness I freeze. My eyes are wide with fright, but I know my options are limited. I could try to escape, but how far can I really get? I could barely manage to stand up earlier.  
  
I see my gun, poised in his hands. "Stand up!" his voice bellows out as he pulls me to my feet. I groan out in agony and protest, as I'm shuffled out and into another room. I glance around with squinted eyes, trying to suck in the pain and see where I am. I feel the gun lodged against my back. "Try and run and I'll shoot you and then your friend," he chides, pushing me down to the floor onto my knees.  
  
We're in an abandoned warehouse, or so I figure. There isn't much open around here, which is probably why they couldn't find Eva. Even if they looked from building to building, she was buried away in the basement of some building.  
  
"You promised to let her go!" I remind him forcefully.  
  
"I didn't promise anything," he points out, using my gun to smack me where the blood has dried to my face. I groan and fall to my stomach in agony, with no power or breath left in me.  
  
"What do you want?" I cry out, my hands holding my head.  
  
"Acceptance---it's what I've always wanted of your kind."  
  
"Our kind?" I repeat, turning my head to glance into his dark, lifeless eyes.  
  
"Flirty, likes to tease. Come on, tell me that doesn't describe you."  
  
"You want acceptance?" I repeat, gaining my voice and some of my strength back. "Then try earning some respect, not kidnapping two women!" I shout back at him.  
  
"Respect?" he repeats with a dark laugh. "You don't know what respect is. Sleeping with your boss, who's married! You don't honestly believe he loves you. He's just looking for someone to fill a void."  
  
"Aren't we all?" I choke out. "Let Eva go; she's of no use to you," I tell him. "I'll do whatever you want."  
  
He laughs, waving the gun around as he paces in front of me. "You honestly believe I'm going to let her go. You've fought me all along. Why now would you give in?"  
  
"To save her life."  
  
"I'm saving her," he answers, "from the loneliness."  
  
"Let her choose her own life!" I eye him angrily. "Let her make her own decisions. Let her go!"  
  
"You want me to let her go?" he repeats, cocking off the safety of the gun, "I suppose I could waste a bullet." His grin is dark and full of death.  
  
"No," I shake my head, ready to plead for her life and do anything to save her. I'm afraid of what that might entail, but what other choice do I have?  
  
I hear the door rattling and Eva pounding against it. "Leave her alone!" she shouts and he looks at me and laughs.  
  
"Should I take her advice?"  
  
I suck in a breath, knowing if it's not me, he'll hurt her. "No," I tell him, biting back the bile rising in my throat.  
  
"Good," he whispers, moving closer as his eyes watch my lips. I feel dirty under his gaze and want to hide myself under all the imaginable clothes one could put on. His hand moves to my face, fingering up over the dried blood and bruise that he inflicted. His mouth moves to come down and capture mine. I wince in horror and feel tears trickle down my eyes, begging for this not to happen.  
  
I hear doors shifting and pull away, glancing to see Eva nowhere in sight. Light is coming inside, and I turn around to see Jack with his gun drawn.  
  
"FBI!" he shouts, his gun ready to fire. I feel dirty hands holding me close, spinning me around as he lodges the gun against my forehead.  
  
"Take a step closer and I'll kill her."  
  
"The FBI doesn't negotiate."  
  
"Even for a loved one?" he questions in a dark laugh.  
  
I close my eyes, unable to stand the sight of the fear etched on Jack's face. I can't see him in pain because it will only cause me more. I have to shut my eyes for I fear having them open will only keep him from firing his gun. I can't look at him, I can't distract him, I can't do anything but feel the gun lodged to my temple as tears fall from my eyes.  
  
"Please," I whisper, begging this to be over. Begging to either be dead and feeling no pain, or to be alive and with Jack. I can't imagine living without one or the other. If I should die, Jack might eventually move on-- he has his children. I, on the other hand, would have nothing.  
  
I hear footsteps from behind and out of the corner of my eye, I see Danny and Vivian with their guns drawn.  
  
"It's over," Jack tells him. "Let Samantha go."  
  
He grips the gun, turning it from me onto himself. Vivian runs over to stop him, but it's too late. He pulls the trigger and his body falls to the ground in a heap. I hear Eva's screams of fright from the basement. Martin manages to unlatch the door, helping her out, while I stand dazed and slightly out of it.  
  
Jack moves towards me and pulls me into his arms for a kiss filled with more passion than I've ever experienced. My body shivers from the cold, since the air inside the warehouse is not much above the temperatures outside. Someone drapes a warm blanket over my shoulders, as Jack puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me outside. "Eva," I whisper, glancing back to see Martin helping her to the nearest ambulance. "Come on." Jack takes me over towards the paramedics and has me sit in the ambulance bay where they quickly examine me.  
  
"I'm fine," I tell them, although I feel rather out of it. "I just haven't slept much," I offer as they eye the cut on my forehead.  
  
"You're going to the hospital," Jack tells me, not taking 'no' for an answer.  
  
"Don't leave me," I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes as he squeezes my hand.  
  
"Can I ride with her?"  
  
"Are you immediate family?"  
  
"Yes," I answer, never letting go of Jack's hand as I'm placed onto a stretcher and transported to the hospital.  
  
I close my eyes, too tired with sleep to comprehend what's going on. When I finally awaken, I see Jack at my bedside, his hand latched to mine.  
  
"Will Eva be all right?" I question, feeling my stomach tense at the thought of her not pulling through.  
  
"She's in better health than you." The nurse enters the room, having heard my question from the doorway. "You have a mild concussion, so we'll want to keep you here for observation. Eva will be released by tonight. The doctor is prescribing an antibiotic for her hand," she tells me, stepping out of the room and leaving Jack at my side.  
  
"I can't believe you," he shakes his head. "Do you know how concerned I was?"  
  
"I'm sorry," I offer.  
  
"Sam," he blows out an annoyed breath, "you could have easily been killed in there. Why didn't you call for backup? Why didn't you go to the hotel?"  
  
"He called me," I answer. "He knew things, so he had to have been watching me." I chew nervously on my lip. "I did what I thought you'd have done, if it would have been your girls," I answer. "Forgive me?" He nods his head with a sigh. "How did you find me?" I question.  
  
"An officer was canvassing the neighborhood and saw your car parked illegally. He was going to write up a ticket when he noticed your badge open and left on the front seat. He called me, asked if there was something going on in his area. That's when we went looking for you. You weren't too far from your car," he tells me, squeezing my hand affectionately.  
  
"I thought you'd never come," I tell him.  
  
"And lose one of my best agents?" he teases with a smile. "I don't think so." A small smile forms on my lips as he tells me, "Get some rest."  
  
"I love you," I whisper, glad that things ended the way they should have.  
  
"I love you too," he answers leaning down to give me a soft kiss.  
  
The End.  
  
Epilogue  
  
With all that's happened, neither Jack nor myself cared that everyone around saw the kiss in the warehouse. Martin was there, offering his support as a friend and he came to apologize for his behavior at the diner. I told him it was my own fault---for not telling him sooner what was going on, and for having little faith that we would still be able to remain friends. His hands went to my shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze as he told me he would hate to end our friendship. He was, of course, disappointed that I was with Jack, but I promised him we wouldn't make things strange for him, since it was still against Bureau policy.  
  
Since Martin and I were on better terms, Van Doren had no choice but to let me continue working the Missing Persons Unit, so long as the knowledge of the relationship between Jack and myself didn't fall into the wrong hands. We'll make sure to keep things covert until the time comes when we may want something more permanent to develop.  
  
Jack's daughters, Hannah and Kate, are still trying to come to terms with the divorce. Hannah's managed to get along well with Eva, since the girls came over one night, when Jack was on a case and Maria had to work late. Why did I get stuck watching his kids? I offered, since I wanted them to like me. It may not have been the wisest decision I made, but Eva certainly smoothed things over.  
  
Eva finally found herself a boyfriend, and in a few months is planning on moving out. She hasn't said yet whether she'll be moving in with him, but it wouldn't surprise me.  
  
In the end, things have worked out for the best, and maybe one day soon we'll all live under one roof. Until then, I can only imagine what might await us and only hope and dream of good things to come. 


End file.
